after the rain, comes the rainbow [open]

[killthepast]

who: Kylo Ren and OPENNN
what: Catch-all, featuring some open prompts from the TDM.
when: The month of April.
where: Here and there
warnings: Nothing yet

i. disaster relief
[ If it weren't for the lingering complications from his gunshot wound to the shoulder, Kylo Ren would be going on river expeditions and fighting giant reptiles and amphibians.

He would be, except Dr. Whale already lectured him and refused to budge the last time he'd demanded medical clearance. Apparently, pushing through pain in an attempt to force his body into recovery had only been making things worse for his arm and shoulder, in the long run.

So he has to take it relatively easy and stick to the prescribed physical therapy exercises until the doctor says otherwise. And that means staying behind as the city floods and tales of giant creatures lurking in the waters spread.

He's never been one to find contentment in sitting around and doing nothing. (Even if the action he tends to take is... you know, the wrong action, at least he's usually doing something.) So, in an attempt to curb feelings of restless agitation, Kylo... actually volunteers for the citywide relief effort. His arm may need time to heal, but he's still strong enough to assist in evacuation efforts, or in the setting up of temporary shelters, or doing any odd task where he can rely on the Force and worry less about hindering his arm's recovery.

Just don't expect him to cook or serve food. He's not feeling that helpful. ]

ii. routines
[ And since he's still stuck on the dreaded Desk Duty at work, Ren's mood-- as he goes about his daily routine-- is even more sour and gloomy than usual. Which is pretty impressive, considering his usual state is miserable enough.

So here's that catch-all prompt for seeing the scowling, overgrown emo kid at the gym (where he's still going to work out and spar as best he can, or go through his physical therapy exercises, if nothing else), or sulking around a coffee shop (don't judge his latte order) with his nose stuck in a journal as he jots notes down. Or at a library. He spends time at libraries, too. And just about anywhere, really. Outside, when it's not raining, because he's taken to communing with the Force out in the park. ]

iii. choose your own adventure
[ And if that last prompt wasn't broad enough, here's the wildcard choose your own adventure option. ]

Comments

[shootsoff]

[When Kylo says he's good at this, Roy laughs, softly, shaking his head. He can't help it, he's a little tickled by it.]

Naahhh, I mean. The signs are all there if you're paying attention.

[Another little nudge against Kylo's shoulder, and he glances over at him, green eyes studying his face, searching for something. Kylo looks kinda cute like this, a little vulnerable, dark eyes still wet, but with the slightest smile around the corners of his mouth. It's always this kind of guy that gets him, isn't it? Just like Jason, dark and complicated and troubled. It just makes him want to dig under the surface and figure out what's going on underneath.

Another little laugh.]

Besides, I've got a lot of experience looking for those signs.

[A long pause, then, while Roy looks out at the forest, thoughtful.]

So, what's got you down?

[killthepast]

[ Most people don't pay attention; they see what he presents at the very surface, and that's enough to write him off. Normally, he dwells on that, allows it to fuel his anger and resentment. But in this moment, he wonders how many would see beyond his mask if he'd only given them the opportunity.

No. It's a foolish thought. He knows full-well what happens. They come to realize he is just as he appears. A beast, a monster, a vicious overgrown child. That's why his parents got rid of him, why his uncle wanted to kill him in his sleep, why Rey...

Roy will realize it soon enough. They always do. But perhaps, until then, he can enjoy some camaraderie. That hint of a smile blossoms, briefly, when the other man nudges his shoulder.

Ren makes a thoughtful sound. ] Because of your friend?

[ There's some peace in the silence, and Ren's gaze shifts from studying Roy's features-- his green eyes, the cut of his cheekbone, a jaw dusted with stubble-- to the trees. ]

I lost... [ He doesn't know just how to convey the sheer weight of losing his connection to the Force, not to somebody who's never had it. ] A piece of myself.

[shootsoff]

[The thing is, Roy's pretty used to people being shades of grey. Sure, there's bad ones and good ones, but his favourite people have always been somewhere in the darker shades of grey. Good people who'd been hurt so much they started to behave badly sometimes, just trying to survive. Bad people who'd come back from the brink, found reasons to help other people. Like Kori. Like Jason. Outsiders, people who didn't fit the mold.

Sure, he may not know a lot about Kylo yet, about the reasons he is the way he is, about the things that he's done or what's making him reconsider doing more of those things, but he's interested in knowing. Especially when Kylo smiles like that, despite his still red-rimmed eyes, and it's like the sun breaking from behind clouds.]

Yeah. Because of my friend, and a few other friends. And myself, a bit. People are complicated, everyone's got different reasons for being the way they are, but there's a certain look that comes with internal conflict. That's the look I know.

[A little smile, that fades when Kylo explains that he's lost a piece of himself.]

That sucks. You want to talk about it?

[killthepast]

[ He lets out a soft huff. The look that Roy describes... Yes. He's never been very good at keeping such looks off his face. Without the mask, he can't help but feel as if he telegraphs everything, loudly and transparently, to the world. Every wound and every vulnerability.

At least it doesn't feel so bad in this moment. Not with Roy's calm, nonjudgemental presence. Compassion... It's so easy to win him over with even the barest scraps of it, like he's a dog forever in search of a master. He hates that about himself. He hates that he wants to lean into other man's offer, that he isn't strong enough to refuse and stoically accept his own misery. ]

The Force. Where I'm from, it's the thread that binds all life together. [ Kylo keeps his eyes on the trees, as if he can see the Force, if only he tried hard enough. ] Some people, a few people, are sensitive to it. They can feel it, use it. It's another sense unto itself.

Even at my lowest moments, when I had nothing else, I still had the Force. [ But not anymore. That's the part that hangs, unspoken, in the air. ]

[shootsoff]

[It's one of the things Roy kind of likes about Kylo, honestly. After hanging out with someone like Jaybird, where you have to squint and try to play 20 questions to figure out what's going on under the surface, where the microexpressions have microexpressions and you've got to know a chunk of the history of Jason Todd in order to work out what's going on in there - it's a relief to hang with someone who shows things on his face. Of course, Roy knows it's annoying to be one of those people, because he's one of them himself. Heart on his sleeve. One of his biggest weaknesses. But it's also something he likes about himself. It's something he likes about Kylo.

When Kylo responds, doesn't say that no, he doesn't want to talk about it, Roy almost feels like he took a step off the edge of a cliff. It's so easy, the way Kylo opens up, Roy's used to being around people who are closed off, who can't open up. It makes it so much easier to focus on Kylo, on what he's saying, on absorbing the meaning. Makes it so much easier to let his compassion show on his face, obvious and genuine.]

So it's sort of like the energy of the universe? I've heard of something kinda like that before, but it was always kind of abstract. Something you get in ghost stories, you know?

[For a moment, he's quiet, then abruptly, he speaks again.]

Not that I think the Force is. My universe is different than yours, I'm just, you know, drawing comparisons.

[Roy licks his lips nervously, shakes his head and laughs at himself a bit.]

Sorry, anyway.

[That last bit...that resonates with Roy, and he looks over at Kylo's face, reaches out and brushes his fingers lightly against the back of Kylo's hand, just for a moment.]

That sucks. I know I said that already, but seriously. I know it doesn't really make it better, but I can hang out until it gets back to normal, until you feel better or something. If it helps.