riverviewlogs | Put me back together make me right

Entry tags:

Put me back together make me right

who: Jason Todd
what: His old partner arrives and self reflection starts, along with working to keep his home in order.
when: Mid-March
where: the dive bar, a fighting ring, the guard, Kent House, Trixie and his flat at Ed's place.
warnings: Language, violence, mentioned blood, emotions... emotions count for a bat.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She wanted to laugh when he said he was pissed about the way she woke him up, but she was far too preoccupied with everything else to do so. In the end she couldn't fault him for what he'd done - she understood that feeling of needing to win no matter what the cost, even if she wasn't sure that it really mattered when the thing to win in question was a bar brawl.

Hana curled up a little bit more into herself, frowning.

"Jay... if I hadn't seen you left your account logged in and came over today, what would happen? Would you just keep making excuses to not see me? Then what, I give up and we stop being friends?"

Red Hood had a reputation to uphold, though if he let anyone of his loved ones, her included, know where his bruises were really coming from he was sure someone would rip him a new one. And he just didn't want to deal with that. He was worlds away from Bruce, he didn't want speeches about being reckless.

Jason pushed off the couch and slipped his hands into the pockets off his sleep pants as he moved over opening the blinds to let the room fill with light. Just to put space, and let himself collect his thoughts a moment. "I wouldn't have let that happen Hana. Never. I just needed to work through the problem I created myself." He kept his back to her for now looking out the window. "Your still one of the most important people to me here. Nothing will change that. Emotions and shit just, they fuck me up. Every damn time."

Hana wanted to believe him, that Jason wouldn't let their friendship fall apart - which only made her wonder even more what it was that he kept needing to deal with by himself, because to her? Friends are people you can rely on for that kind of thing. Emotions and shit.

"What happened?" she muttered as Jason stood by the window. She couldn't see him, but her gaze was fixed on his back.

"Are you scared that if you told me what you were dealing with that I'd - I dunno, change my opinion of you? You can't just run from your emotions, Jay."

Friendships with emotionally constipated bats was never easy. Not when they had to live double lives, even if she knew his other face, she didn't know parts. Just like even his brothers didn't know everything.

He leaned a hand on the window frame looking outside a moment.

"I'm not scared of anything, Hana, I've died that removes normal fears." He muttered before raking a hand through his hair, and decided to tell her. In his own way.

"The rumors aren't true Hana... I started the rumors about me. Their all lies... even something I told you was a lie to protect the reputation I made for myself." He figured she already realized he's not the Casanova bad boy he projects but, if he had to lay his cards out to save their friendship better to start there. "Being close to people puts a target on their back..."

She'd heard that before, from him. She knew that he was hesitant to get close to people because he felt that made them targets. But she also knew that so far, no one's come after her for simply being a friend of his - the Joker is gone, and as far as she could tell, he hadn't made any enemies here petty enough to go after Jason's connections...

She wasn't sure she was following what he was saying, though.

"So you were lying to protect yourself. Right?"

She'd been there.

"And to protect other people?"

Sometimes he wished he could go back to the past and punch both Bruce and Willis and maybe yell at Cathrine...nah fuck that, his mom did nothing wrong in his eyes. Not beyond her addictions, she did her best. But the men, it was their fault he was so bad at this stuff. He turned finally, and started pacing, he was tired and it was more of a tactic to keep himself awake than not.

"You make it sound pathetic that way... its more complicated than that. I've nearly lost everyone more than once, making the friends I have here and now was probably even a bad idea given the fact the Joker was here under our noses... but that part is not what I meant Hana, that was an explanation." He stopped just before the couch running a hand through his hair again and sighed. "I don't actually sleep around Hana... that was the lie I meant." He spoke looking down to her with a tired look, one that seemed to go soul deep.

The more Jason talked, the more Hana was beginning to think that this was going to be something deep, and dark. Perhaps even darker than anything she'd already seen of his past from his memories or nightmares. As she stayed curled up on the couch, her fingers' grip on her own arms tightened a bit.

And then loosened when she heard his Big Reveal.

"Wait, you—" she paused, giving a few slow blinks, "That's it? You lied about sleeping around... to protect your reputation."

What is this, this is so extra, Jason, please.

"What, so you said that so I'd think you were some kind of bad boy? That worked out really well, huh?"

As in, it didn't work. At all. Although their initial interactions had certainly been flirtatious and built almost entirely around the assumption that Jason was some kind of playboy, Hana was quick to realize that he wasn't really like that. Especially after she'd seen his memories.

She had seen so much of his darkness already, his pains, his horrors, now she should be able to see over the walls he's built around himself, before the door was cracked, open for her... but it was locked now, sealed for her own good.

When she spoke he looked to her with a shocked look on his face... like he expected it to be dramatic, some yelling, to be called a dumbass at least. But, the jury was still out on that last bit. "Yeah... No one would take me seriously or disrupt my work if they saw no future with me, and I have no future to offer."

After a second he scrunched his face some, any sorrow of underlying anger vanishing as he looked so confused. "Excuse you, I am bad, just not for the reasons I said." Suddenly he felt like a teenager on display... where did this go wrong?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Put me back together make me right

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject