riverviewlogs | Put me back together make me right

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Put me back together make me right

who: Jason Todd
what: His old partner arrives and self reflection starts, along with working to keep his home in order.
when: Mid-March
where: the dive bar, a fighting ring, the guard, Kent House, Trixie and his flat at Ed's place.
warnings: Language, violence, mentioned blood, emotions... emotions count for a bat.

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Of course, Roy had come, and Jason felt like shit for the way he had treated his former partner at the speed dating. The last place Jason Todd needed to be with Harper around was a bar. Namely, Four Winds, after Puzzle's murder, but, given his brother's were aiming to keep him from drinking. It was the best place to go before he had to head to work. He'd have a few hours to sober up before hand anyway. The old rundown bar didn't seem to care of people smoked inside, so he was sitting at his favorite place at the counter nursing a cigarette with a half drank beer before him, reading from one of the novels he had started recently. His mind kept drifting back to the angry Ginger. He knew he had fucked up, he needed to apologize but it was Roy.

Why didn't Roy realize it had hurt him to? Pushing Roy out of his life had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. Leaving him busted up and alone in that warehouse had been one of the top bad nights of his life. One he replays often but, he didn’t regret it. He was no good, he was even worse for someone like Roy. And even worse, it hurt and made jealousy bubble up knowing Roy had gone back to Dick after he bailed. Figured the golden child didn’t care well, he cared but in his own Grayson way.

He closed the book and ashed his cigarette, motioning the bar tender down for another drink. Something harder.

A few of his friends had been asking where his influx of money had come from of late, but Jason refused to answer anyone, just claiming he got a raise. He hadn't aside from any raise Guards got for working nights. He had switched shifts months ago to fit his nocturnal lifestyle without knowing he would soon be caring for Damian and Jon. When the chance presented itself, he knew he didn't make enough for his life style and two kids, so he had found a way to make extra money without having to ask anyone or look for a sugar mama. A ring he had been watching to take down, a bunch of guys fighting in an old warehouse with a lot of gambling involved. Bruce wouldn't approve but when did he ever approve of anything Jason ever did?

Jason needed money, and money was good using his skills to his advantage. Oh yes, Bruce would disapprove. He's sure Tim and Damian would to if they knew what he got up to each night before going to work. He lied about his hours at the guard to cover his trail. Leaving the house in the early evening each night and returning with just enough time to take the boys to school. Since it was about the only way to make sure Damian went. The crowd was pretty good, cheering Jason and the bigger guy across from him on. Jason moved with the all the grace of a well trained fighter. He dodged well, and jabbed as he did each time. Punches landed on both sides but a cheer from someone in the crowd caught Jason's attention and he was .5 seconds to slow to dodge a punch to the mouth, blood gushed from his lip as he moved forward slamming his forehead into the other fighters nose taking him down from the sheer force of it. Moving his foot down to the guys throat the ref stepped out, and counted it as the crowd went crazy. Both men bleeding, and one reasonably pissed below the bare foot of the bare chested vigilante. Bruises from other fights healing on his back and chest. He didn't care about the marks, they'd go away in time.

After collecting his fee he stepped outside into the night air taking a deep breath before moving to the bike to just let his nerves chill.

PLACE HOLDER

Jason made his way into the house with about a half hour to spare before the boys had to get to school. "Whose hungry!" He called up the steps, as he tossed his bag and his jacket on the couch where he would be sleeping in an hour or so. Making his way into the kitchen, he washed his hands and face before taking out a pan and some eggs to get breakfast going for the kids. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to shower before he came home, so he smelled like sweat, smoke and liquor, but, he was tired and didn't care enough to go dig out his cologne.

Later in the day he had dropped on the couch to sleep, having shut off his phone in case the school called about Damian being a jerk to the gym teacher again, he didn’t have much of a plan for the day besides catching up on sleep, which would have been a good idea outside of the fact he had left the game system on, logged into his favorite shooter, which left him marked as online, a fact that only would matter to the one friend he was avoiding after he helped break his own heart, which was worse with Roy around.

His motorcycle was at the flat, but the Mustang was parked outside of the Kent house from having taken the boys to school. So the Hood was home.

That afternoon, after seeing Hana, he would be found asleep on the couch again, since the boys walked home in the afternoon, even if he was usually up by the time they got in, today his body demanded the sleep he was so behind on.

Tonight was one of his nights off, instead of staying home and hanging out with his brothers, Wally and Jon, he waited until about his normal time to leave and headed to Trixie. He didn't often go, but now that he was on better terms with Loki again he decided it was a good idea. Moving to the bar he went to his usual seat. The one that let him see the mirrors and around easily the club from where he sat. He didn't send for Loki, instead he ordered a drink and waited, watching life around the club instead of reading.

Thinking of the differences between the old Tim and the new Tim. So alike but so different at the same time. The same could be said for the Jason of the other Tim's world, a ginger, bigger and a lot crazier… least from what Tim said. Looking in the mirror again, at his two days worth of stubble, and dark lines around his eyes. He wondered, how would he look as a red head? Would he look like he belonged to Catherine, instead of Willis? Almost a touch sad he didn't seem to get any looks from Shelia but his eyes. Which were pretty much the same color as Catherine's at least as well as he could remember anyway. Maybe his father had a thing for blue eyes… hell, he didn't want to think about that either. His mind was running from lack of sleep and stress.

Running a hand through his short locks of dark hair he lifted the drink he ordered to his lips when it arrived, he didn't really care that the liquor made the split in his lip burn. It was nothing new, pain like that was just a reminder he wasn't in his grave.

By now, Nico was getting off his shift at the bar. And as he usually did on nights like this, when he didn't have anything else planned, he stuck around for a drink. But tonight, to his surprise, Jason was there, nursing something at the bar. When Nico tucked his gear behind the bar, he noticed the other man and paused, dark eyes noting the split in Jason's lip.

Obviously, Jason was up to something again, likely getting into trouble with something or other. Nico frowned to himself as he grabbed a bottle from behind the counter and settled down next to him.

"You've been fighting," he said, a brow lifted in mild judgement. "What've you been getting up to now?"

You played yourself, Jason.

Hana wasn't an idiot. She realized fairly quickly that Jason was avoiding her - or at least avoiding seeing her. He seemed to have no problems with responding to her texts, but every time she made a suggestion to get together to play games or anything that required seeing each other in person Jason would come up with one reason or another. She took it the first few times - she knew better than most that sometimes you just needed to fall in on yourself and not see anyone. But it happened time and time again until she realized that perhaps it wasn't that he didn't want to see anyone - he just didn't want to see her.

And that realization hurt a lot more than she realized it would, not knowing why he would avoid her like this.

He'd better have a good reason, was all she thought. She knew she wouldn't get one unless she saw him in person, though - it was too easy to divert a text conversation or ignore it, which she realized was the reason why he kept their interactions digital.

When she saw him online but idle that day, she realized it was her chance. Luckily she was off that day too - so she got into her mech and made her way to his house, stopping by her favorite bakery and coffee shop on the way to grab some food - peace offerings for whatever offense she committed against him that made him start to avoid her.

It would be hard to miss the pink mech pulling up to the driveway, landing just behind Jason's mustang. If that arrival didn't wake him up, hopefully Hana's incessant ringing of the doorbell would.

Jason was usually down at Four Winds despite most of his friends protest about the seedy place, more so after the murders, but the scummier the bar the more fun for the Hood. Who was not looking for fun tonight, but company of his friends who he had not spent much time with since new years, not as much as before hand anyway.

When Nico slid up to him he lifted his glass in greeting to the other. "You look nice, Niks, hows the new boytoy?" he asked, oh yes, he heard Nico, but he was being classic Todd and ignoring it because he didn't care to answer it. He was a fighter, it's what he does.

He was also tired of lying to his loved ones but, life demanded it.

Jason always plays himself. It was a fact of life.

He had found no problem in online chatter while gaming, or texting at any given point. A trick he learned from Bruce, and used to dodge anyone. Digital didn't convey emotions, he could disconnect himself and still appear just as strong even when he was breaking. He didn't think anyone had caught on, but clearly, the woman he had found himself caring about was a detective in her own rights. Figured.

He had a type after all.

The sound of the mech made him start to stir, what the fuck was that? He hadn't gotten off the couch yet before the ringing of the bell started.

"KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!" he screamed with the trademarked Batvoice. To make his voice boom with the tone that made criminals in Gotham quake. Rolling himself off the couch he pushed himself up the sheet wrapped around his shoulders, hair sticking every direction half full of static and it was growing out of the undercut already. His lip was split in the middle with a bruise on the left side of his mouth, the black sheet covered all but the bottom of his abs and the bat printed sleep pants he was wearing as he pulled the door open ready to scream again. Then he saw Hana, and oh the wave of pain came back he wasn't awake enough for that.

God he hoped Wally and Tim weren't home... they Wally probably would have gotten the door before he could have. "Hana?" What else could he say.

Hana actually had to stifle the urge to laugh at the yelling she could hear coming from inside. Well, if nothing else, at least Jason still seemed like himself based on that reaction, such a typical Jason-ism.

When the door opened, though, that amusement quickly faded from her expression, concern instead taking its place.

"Surprise," she said, although it lacked any of the fanfare that should accompany that kind of a greeting. Her eyes narrowed at him; she noticed his state of (un)dress, certainly, but it wasn't anything she would dwell on now, especially not when his lip was split open the way it was, face bruised in spots.

"Jeez, what hit you? A truck?"

She was going to go ahead and try to step past him to invite herself into the house, holding up the bag with red velvet cupcakes in them at him as she did so.

If it had been anyone else in his shoes, Jason would have laughed to, probably cop knocked on the door just to be more of an ass, but when things happened to him. Nope, not as funny. Namely not on a couple hours of much needed sleep. He couldn't keep glaring at Hana though. As much as he wanted to.

He stepped aside as she spoke so she could invite herself in, inside the house was a very homey looking house. Far more domestic than one might expect. Outside of the living room everything in sight looked immaculate, the couch was messy with the pillows on the floor, his guard uniform draped on a chair, and a duffle bag near by. The game system was still on, along with the tv, as he moved over dropping the sheet and picking up one of his black shirts and tugging it on.

He didn't reach for the bag however just arched a brow at it. He needed a second, given he was just waking up. "Why are you here? It's not even a human hour." He grumbled dropping down where he had clearly been sleeping. He was to big for that couch. "Come in have a seat... ignore anything I say." He added the last bit as he yawned and stretched his arms some, inside the turmoil was already bubbling. Shouldn't she be out with Mr. Perfect? The guy really was a doll, that's what made it all worse, of course Jason stalked him a bit... its what he does.

When Jason didn't take the bag, she simply put it down on the nearest coffee or end table before she continued wandering about the living room, peering into the other areas of the house, half to acquaint herself with the space and half to see if anyone else was around. She turned back around toward Jason just in time to spy him putting a shirt back on from the corner of her eye - but she looked away again promptly.

"Not even a human hour? It's the middle of the day, Jay. It's definitely a human hour. Just not a zombie one."

After that quip she did manage to turn back to him, if only so she could offer a smirk. She did come back and sit next to him, though, and it wasn't until then that she could really tell how cramped this couch must be for him to be sleeping on.

"Are you gonna tell me how you busted your lip, or not?"

A coffee table was sitting in front of the couch, which was closest to them. There was corner tables but for some reason there was a stack of thick novels piled on the one by the couch's side. No one else was home, if they were they were asleep, or Tim was just hiding in his room, but Jason was sure Tim was at work. People tended not to be home when he slept, he liked it best that way. No one could hear his nightmares.

"Good thing I'm a zombie then." He grumbled, stretching his feet out to cross them on the coffee table. "Sorry about the mess... were in a transition period. Renovations are starting soon then this place can be properly clean." Jason Todd was a neat freak, it was just one of his many issues after growing up like he did, then connecting with the butler more than his adopted father.

"I didn't plan to, but why don't you take a guess and I'll confirm or deny. Its not a hard concept of why I would have a split lip." He grumbled, mostly just grouchy from sleep, but also trying to ignore his broken heart aching.

And for her part, Hana pulled her feet up, drawing her knees close to her chest on the couch and wrapping her arms around her legs, turning her head and resting it against her knees as she looked at Jason. He looked so tired, which a look only made worse by how beat up he looked. Obviously he got his ass kicked. But it wasn't so easy to guess how he might have gotten his ass kicked. He got into far too much trouble, she had at least three different guesses.

"Monsters outside the wall?" she muttered, but she promptly shook her head. No, that couldn't be it. If it were monsters outside the wall, he'd be way more banged up. This looked like the kind of injury you'd get fighting another person. Her gaze was fixed on his lips.

"Trouble with crooks on the street? Or... bar brawl?"

She sighed. As 'fun' as this guessing game was, it wasn't the reason she sought him out. She was here because one of her best friends was suddenly avoiding her, and that hurt. She thought she'd gotten past that wall of his, but now it felt like he was building it back up. Why? Did she hurt him? How?

"Okay, look. I didn't come here to give you crap about your bruises. Why are you avoiding me?"

[ It's not long after Jason arrives back at the house from his night of work or whatever that Wally comes shuffling into the kitchen wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, a white t-shirt, and a serious case of bedhead. He is the one that keeps an eye on the kids while Jason is working the late shift and they switch roles during the day.

It's a system he thinks is going pretty well so far all things considered. ]

Mornin'.

[ The greeting is said through a yawn as he rubs at one of his still bleary green eyes with the back of a hand. The still sleepy speedster proceeds to grab a carton of this place's equivalent to orange juice out of the fridge and a glass from one of the cabinets.

After he fills the cup and takes a drink, he's finally awake enough to give the man making breakfast for the boys a quick once over and has to admit he looks about as bad as he smells. Then again, this has been a pretty common sight for the last few days. Wally can't help but wonder if the arrival of their mutual archer friend has anything to do with it. ]

Rough night?

More often than not, Jason doesn't bother changing out of his guard uniform until after the boys leave and he drops on the couch to sleep, so aside from his jacket he was still in his work gear as he whipped some eggs when Wally made his way in to the kitchen.]

Mornin'.

[ He replied with a tired draw to his voice, of course he knew Wally moved, the gust of wind and the sudden glass in his hand. His tired blue eyes looked back at the speedster. Red hair and green eyes.... always that comination. Barbara, Kori, Wally and of course Roy. Dick's collection of red heads, Jason always coming in after Dick's waltzed off and tried to hold things together. He didn't know why he was that way, but the idea brewed in the back of his head. It had been forming since he ran into Roy nights before.]

You could say that. I didn't dodge fast enough. [ Odd for a bat to say, but he's been lying so long about his random bruises that it was becoming second nature to fall on his bat training and lie better. Usually he didn't bother.]

Boy's didn't give you any trouble did they?

"Bar brawl." Least it would fall in line to his usual lie to Damian. It was part of his trap, he made people say what they expected while keeping tick and using the most popular answer to keep his second job hidden well from his loved ones. "I got distracted, but the oaf looks worse so, don't worry your not friends with a loser." Sadly, he wasn't wrong. He messed the other guy up, he hated the marks being on his face but he hadn't resorted to cosmetics just yet.

he knew it was coming, and leave it to Hana to cut through his bullshit. He certainly did have a type. "It's nothing personal. I've just been busy, Hana." It wasn't a complete lie but damn if he didn't hate it. Dropping his head back against the back of the couch he knew she'd probably call him on it in a second so he spoke on before he'd give her the chance. "I have a lot going on, I just needed a little bit of time." Stupid feelings.

Of course, Jason'st attempt at reassurance didn't make Hana feel at all reassured. Instead she felt skeptical, which only made her feel worse about where they stood - because what kind of friend was she if she couldn't trust what he was saying? Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding, hiding from her, when she thought they were both over that. What did he have left to hide from her after all the memories and nightmares?

'The other guy looked worse,' sure, but... she reached over, fingers on his chin as she pulled so that his face would turn toward her, even slightly. And the pad of her thumb brushed lightly over the wound on his lips.

"Is it really winning if you still come out with all this, though?"

She frowned. Jason had Damian and Jon to take care of now. He couldn't run off and get into bar brawls like that. What if something really happened? She pulled her hand away after that.

"Why can't you tell me? I thought we were friends. When you have a lot going on a friend can help you. You know that, right? You don't have to do it all by yourself."

She looked down.

"You don't have to push me away. I thought you were mad at me."

She hated this. She hated every moment that she felt vulnerable just as much as Jason did. But beneath all of her cool confidence, she was still just a nineteen, almost twenty-year-old girl who needed friends.

It was part of why he hated lying, even when he had to. Sure he could be damn good at it, Bruce trained him well after all, the streets even before that, but deep down he hated lying to the people he loved. And as much as he wished he could bury himself back down in that six feet of dirt, that would help nothing and no one. Namely, not even himself.

When she pulled his face her way, a slight look of pain flashed in his eyes, he was tired and grumpy but, just a simple touch made something in him flutter. He started to reach up to move her hand away when she touched his busted lip, but she moved it on her own.

"Winning's winning, and winning is all that matters right now." He admitted, just a tired admitting that he needed to win even if he knew it was bad.

"Hana, trust me, you don't want to know. Your happier not knowing. But, don't think like that, I'm not mad at you... not fully, pretty pissed about that wake up though." He grumbled the last bit shifting a small glare her way before letting it fall away. He hated looking her so hurt.

"Its completely a me problem, not you. You did everything right, okay?"

In this family you couldn't keep a secret for long. Yes, they dealt in lies and misdirection often enough but due to this, it was almost impossible to keep anything hidden from another bat. Only father has mastered it, and even his secrets didn't stay hidden long. It also didn't help that Damian had recently made a vow to watch his brothers closer than ever to prevent anymore of their untimely deaths.

The work patterns? The bruises? The influx of income? It's like Todd wasn't even trying to hide that he was up to something.

"Drake!" He kicked the other tee's chair, briefly wondering why he was sleeping in the desk chair rather than the bed... but let's take this one brother at a time and shelf Drake's sleeping habits for later. "Get up! Todd isn't here and I suspect he is doing something idiotic for money or as another one of his insipid cries for attention." Honestly, Todd, could you just not? They are trying to play normal here.

Edited 2018-03-13 22:24 (UTC)

She wanted to laugh when he said he was pissed about the way she woke him up, but she was far too preoccupied with everything else to do so. In the end she couldn't fault him for what he'd done - she understood that feeling of needing to win no matter what the cost, even if she wasn't sure that it really mattered when the thing to win in question was a bar brawl.

Hana curled up a little bit more into herself, frowning.

"Jay... if I hadn't seen you left your account logged in and came over today, what would happen? Would you just keep making excuses to not see me? Then what, I give up and we stop being friends?"

Red Hood had a reputation to uphold, though if he let anyone of his loved ones, her included, know where his bruises were really coming from he was sure someone would rip him a new one. And he just didn't want to deal with that. He was worlds away from Bruce, he didn't want speeches about being reckless.

Jason pushed off the couch and slipped his hands into the pockets off his sleep pants as he moved over opening the blinds to let the room fill with light. Just to put space, and let himself collect his thoughts a moment. "I wouldn't have let that happen Hana. Never. I just needed to work through the problem I created myself." He kept his back to her for now looking out the window. "Your still one of the most important people to me here. Nothing will change that. Emotions and shit just, they fuck me up. Every damn time."

Hana wanted to believe him, that Jason wouldn't let their friendship fall apart - which only made her wonder even more what it was that he kept needing to deal with by himself, because to her? Friends are people you can rely on for that kind of thing. Emotions and shit.

"What happened?" she muttered as Jason stood by the window. She couldn't see him, but her gaze was fixed on his back.

"Are you scared that if you told me what you were dealing with that I'd - I dunno, change my opinion of you? You can't just run from your emotions, Jay."

Friendships with emotionally constipated bats was never easy. Not when they had to live double lives, even if she knew his other face, she didn't know parts. Just like even his brothers didn't know everything.

He leaned a hand on the window frame looking outside a moment.

"I'm not scared of anything, Hana, I've died that removes normal fears." He muttered before raking a hand through his hair, and decided to tell her. In his own way.

"The rumors aren't true Hana... I started the rumors about me. Their all lies... even something I told you was a lie to protect the reputation I made for myself." He figured she already realized he's not the Casanova bad boy he projects but, if he had to lay his cards out to save their friendship better to start there. "Being close to people puts a target on their back..."

"Wha--!" Tim had dozed off in his chair, only to be rudely awakened by a familiar pint-sized gremlin. Sometimes he wasn't sure which part of living here was weirder: the dreams or the reality.

"You mean he's gone again?" Tim covered a yawn, working the crick out of his neck. He glanced up at the clock. It was half after eleven, roughly the usual time, then. He pulled his laptop up, opening a program. It was no Bat Computer, but thankfully what passed for GPS still seemed to work reasonably well with some rewiring. "What do you know, looks like he's even at the same place." That kind of cemented one of his suspicions on what Jason was actually doing with his time, and from the data so far, regularly so, at least twice a week.

"Everyone has issues, Damian. Jason's is just more visible," Tim said absently. "So I'm guessing you woke me up because you wanted to do something about this...?" He raised an eyebrow, getting up from the chair to find his uniform.

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Put me back together make me right

Four Winds Bar

Old Warehouse, Fighting Ring

Perimeter Guard

Kent House

Trixie

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Busted w/ Tim Drake

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