my heart is gold and my hands are cold

[deathkid]

who: nico & tj
what: valentines shenanigans
when: feb 14
where: tj's place
warnings: schmoop i think, maybe more.

[ nico doesn't like valentine's day. to be blunt, he hates it. he's reminded too much of cupid, of being forced out of the closet, of having to reveal a part of himself he hadn't been ready to show. having to admit his love for percy jackson when he didn't want to had broken something inside him, getting blown off by loki had broken his heart. suffice it to say, love never treated nico right. that is, until he met tj.

tj has been like a beacon in the shadows around nico's heart. funny, smart, and incredibly sexy, tj has quickly grown into someone nico cares about deeply. so for once, he decides he'll ignore his personal grudge against cupid, aphrodite, and valentine's day in general and put himself out on a limb.

he doesn't tend to dress up very often, but tonight he does, going for something distinctly him while dressing up. a bouquet of aster, yellow chrysanthemums, heliotrope, jonquil, linaria, and peach blossom is tucked under his arm. each flower has a certain meaning, picked for that purpose. nico has learned well from being in his step-mother's presence and intends on making an impression. he even has a box of chocolate covered peach slices because if nico does anything, it's full-tilt and never half-way.

when he gets to tj's place, he knocks on the door. swallowing the lump in his throat, he then takes a deep breath. hopefully tj's home and hopefully tj won't mind the gifts. if all goes well, nico hopes to find himself in a relationship with this amazing, beautiful man. ]

Comments

[deathkid]

[ taking the linaria, he smiles softly at tj. if tj wants him to notice his feelings, he'll gladly do so. stepping closer, he presses a kiss to first, tj's knuckles and then his cheek. ]

I did. I know it's weird, but... I really like you. If it's what you want too, I want to be with you.

[ he wraps his free arm around tj's waist, bringing their foreheads together. ]

If you want me to notice, I'm definitely paying attention.

[absolutperfection]

[TJ wants Nico to notice and understand what he's implying by handing over the flower. He's too messed up to say it out loud, though he wants to. He's afraid of rejection and worse, that he's being played with. Nico has done nothing to deserve TJ thinking that way but it's hard to shake.

He sighs softly, foreheads pressed together and fingers intertwined.]

It's not weird.

[There's another sigh.]

You scare me. No, not you. But this.

[deathkid]

[ at first, nico's instinct is to jerk back, slam up the walls of anger and hurt because once again, someone finds him frightening. most of his life, that's what he's heard. that people are afraid of him and those that get close enough end up getting hurt. so he's pushed and pushed and pushed. but with tj, he feels like he doesn't have to, and as he continues speaking, nico realizes that what tj is saying isn't that he's afraid of him. no, it's "this" tj is talking about. this budding relationship, nico guesses, and he can't help but wonder why. ]

This? Why does this scare you?

i'm so sorry for the huge delay

[absolutperfection]

[TJ assumes this is the part where he lays himself bare. Really lets Nico in, shows him all the ugliness beneath the surface. It's only fair. He might not like it and choose to leave, but at least TJ will have been honest from the beginning.]

I'm needy. And clingy. [He smiles a little, it's a bit of a joke but not really.] I don't know how to be in a relationship with someone. Not really.

I fall hard, let myself get lost in it, and when it's over, I don't know how to live.

[He breathes out and takes a step back.]

I can see it when I look at you. How I feel. You're dangerous. And I won't make it if we do this, really do this, and it ends. I shouldn't put that on you. On anyone but there it is.