Captain James T. Kirk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
winscenario) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-01-21 01:55 pm
winscenario) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-01-21 01:55 pm
( open ) last night I felt real arms around me
who: Jim Kirk & YOU
what: Bones is gone and Jim is coping with it the only way he knows how: poorly.
when: Jan 25th through to early February
where: bars, parks and streets, shuttle and beyond the walls
warnings: drinking, general weird moods, Jim being depressed, possible crying. don't expect anything else but will edit if need be. JUST GIVE HIM DISTRACTIONS.
I ▹ JUST ONE MORE GLASS
II ▹ MIDNIGHT RUN
III ▹ THROW YOURSELF INTO YOUR WORK
what: Bones is gone and Jim is coping with it the only way he knows how: poorly.
when: Jan 25th through to early February
where: bars, parks and streets, shuttle and beyond the walls
warnings: drinking, general weird moods, Jim being depressed, possible crying. don't expect anything else but will edit if need be. JUST GIVE HIM DISTRACTIONS.
I ▹ JUST ONE MORE GLASS
[ It's a few days before Jim actually leaves the house properly, though he still doesn't look all that great. He's combed his hair and put on mildly presentable clothes, but he's still sporting a short beard he hasn't cared to shave, and he's not looking like his usual cheerful self either.
During the first few days, it's all still a little too fresh on his mind, and his heart. He goes out but it's not with the intent of socializing so much as sitting by the bar on his own, asking the barkeep to pour him one glass after another. He spends most of the time staring down at the liquid swirling in his glass, gaze seldom lifting from the surface, though he will if someone happens to take a seat on the stool next to his.
He'll spare a vague smile if it's a stranger, and a few words if it's a familiar face: ] What brings you around here?
During the first few days, it's all still a little too fresh on his mind, and his heart. He goes out but it's not with the intent of socializing so much as sitting by the bar on his own, asking the barkeep to pour him one glass after another. He spends most of the time staring down at the liquid swirling in his glass, gaze seldom lifting from the surface, though he will if someone happens to take a seat on the stool next to his.
He'll spare a vague smile if it's a stranger, and a few words if it's a familiar face: ] What brings you around here?
II ▹ MIDNIGHT RUN
[ It doesn't get better anytime soon. It's a process, Jim tries to tell himself, but he hates that he can't force himself to just be fine. He hates that he's nothing but a burden souring everyone's mood, and maybe that's why he thinks it would be for the best if he just avoided everyone.
On the other hand, he's lonely. He hates that. Can't stand being all alone in the empty loft when he leaves the guard. John's been putting up with him and keeping him company more often than not, but Jim knows that he can't very well hog all his time. He's got better things to do than stay with him.
So, when he can't sleep, and when he can't stand the deafening silence, he puts on running gear and goes out for a late night jog. There are always a few people around but it's generally quiet, and the parks are a good spot to just run until his legs hurt and his lungs burn. When he can't take it anymore and his head starts spinning, he lies down on the grass, staring up at the night sky. Anything to not be in his empty bed, staring up at the ceiling. ]
On the other hand, he's lonely. He hates that. Can't stand being all alone in the empty loft when he leaves the guard. John's been putting up with him and keeping him company more often than not, but Jim knows that he can't very well hog all his time. He's got better things to do than stay with him.
So, when he can't sleep, and when he can't stand the deafening silence, he puts on running gear and goes out for a late night jog. There are always a few people around but it's generally quiet, and the parks are a good spot to just run until his legs hurt and his lungs burn. When he can't take it anymore and his head starts spinning, he lies down on the grass, staring up at the night sky. Anything to not be in his empty bed, staring up at the ceiling. ]
III ▹ THROW YOURSELF INTO YOUR WORK
[ After the end of the month, the levels of self-pity start getting a little ridiculous. He finds himself equal parts sad and angry at himself that he's just letting himself go down a spiral, as much as he tries to tell himself he's coping just fine.
He needs to do something. Be useful. Resume his life in the Quarantine the best he can, cling to whatever is still steady and present and normal in his life: his work.
He shaves finally, tidies up his place, even irons clothes and buys some ready-to-eat meals to stock up his fridge, and he shows up at the Perimeter Guard after a week and some looking mostly like himself. He's not as cheerful, granted, but he doesn't avoid or ignore anyone, though it's obvious he focuses on his work more than anything else. As the days go by people might catch him yawning at odd times, rubbing at his tired eyes still sporting dark circles that are proof of his lack of sleep.
Out on the shuttle, he might even start to doze off halfway through a flight. Whoever's with him should probably take helm control and just tell him to sit back, or else Jim's grip on the shuttle might just slip, giving them the scare of their lives. ]
He needs to do something. Be useful. Resume his life in the Quarantine the best he can, cling to whatever is still steady and present and normal in his life: his work.
He shaves finally, tidies up his place, even irons clothes and buys some ready-to-eat meals to stock up his fridge, and he shows up at the Perimeter Guard after a week and some looking mostly like himself. He's not as cheerful, granted, but he doesn't avoid or ignore anyone, though it's obvious he focuses on his work more than anything else. As the days go by people might catch him yawning at odd times, rubbing at his tired eyes still sporting dark circles that are proof of his lack of sleep.
Out on the shuttle, he might even start to doze off halfway through a flight. Whoever's with him should probably take helm control and just tell him to sit back, or else Jim's grip on the shuttle might just slip, giving them the scare of their lives. ]
no subject
Okay? I mean, it wouldn't be a bad thing. Do a run and maybe see a movie afterwards. [Gave them something to look forward to. Not just the running, but unwinding with a movie. If anything it meant they could sit comfortably with one another in silence as they watched. A way for them to bond and a way for them to have someone else around. Right now, during such a vulnerable time for both of them, they needed to be around people. Being alone did more damage than anything.
It intensified the pain. It intensified the loneliness, the feeling that maybe it was better to be alone. At least for Rey, that's what it felt like at times.
He should show her Indiana Jones so she can be shocked to see Han as something else.She listened to his explanation of this thing called 'High School,' trying her best to understand. Why was being 'popular' important? But, then again, in certain factions, there was a leader. Someone who called the shots. However, they weren't at war---and she was really over thinking the entire thing It was a comedy, something to laugh at and not point and try to figure out what it all meant and the 'whys' behind it.]
I guess? It's like they're trying to survive, but it's nothing compared to the real world. They find packs, make alliances and try to get through it. It is ridiculous, but...[She turned away from the movie to look at Jim with a bewildered expression.]
Why do they wear pink on Wednesdays?
no subject
Yeah, exactly. Something like survival, but without the actual element of your life being at risk. Well, not unless you consider social life, which a lot of people in high school do. Fitting in and having friends is important, particularly to developing teenagers. No one likes feeling like a pariah, kept on the outside looking in.
[ Jim would know, he often felt that way. Even when he was popular and had friends (and more than just friends), he often still felt like an outcast growing up, not quite belonging anywhere. And he could say with absolute certainty that it wasn't easy. ]
Beats me. [ He shrugged. ] A trend, I guess. A way to assert their... I don't know, dominance or relevance among their colleagues. Don't ask me, I never wore matching clothes with anyway when I was in school.
no subject
No...no one wants that even past their ages.
[She wanted friends, but the other scavengers were all loners, or used each other for their own gains. There wasn't a community between them, just individuals working only when necessary.]
I figured you wouldn't have done it. It's not very...you. [To wear matching outfits or be catty, or judge others in such a black and white way.] Still don't get it, they make themselves a bigger target that way.
no subject
Right. Humans are social creatures. We may not all feel the need to be popular, but everyone likes to have some friends, people they get along with.
[ It could get terribly lonely otherwise. Even Jim had felt that way at times, and he was always surrounded by his whole crew, a few of them being close friends of his. ]
Why, thank you. I'm touched. [ Do Starfleet uniforms count as matching outfits, though... ] They don't really see it that way, I guess. They see it as being in the spotlight, the center of attention.
no subject
No one likes to be alone, but...the price she's willing to pay...it's going to come back to haunt her.
[Who knows if it would be later on in the movie, or maybe there would be some sort...time skip? Who knows, Rey was becoming more invested in the film, but she understood a lot about loneliness. She knew what it was like to be on the outside and waiting for something to happen.]
Who would want that much attention--never mind.
[Maybe she would never find out, but her gaze flickered over to Jim to see how he was doing. After all, she was here to make sure Jim was okay. If he was handling things...]
Do you want more pizza or beer?
no subject
[ A lesson, in a weird sort of way. Although Jim preferred enjoying it more as a comedy than looking for some deeper meaning in the story. It was meant to be taken as a joke, watched for a few laughs, and Jim intended to take it that way.
Actually, after the days he'd had, he would much rather not think too much about anything at all. Light and fun was just easier to deal with.
He glanced at Rey at the question, momentarily distracted from the movie. ]
Slice of pizza, if you can hand it over. [ She was sitting closer to the box now, so it would be easier for her to get him a slice. He finished up the last bit on his hand, swatting it clean on his sweatpants before taking a sip from his beer. ]
no subject
Yet. Maybe it would be beneficial for her to build a flight simulation computer. Piloting the shuttle was one thing, actually testing her skills in a mock up of a x-wing in flight and battling against the
First OrderEmpire was something else.A nod of her head, opening the box to take another slice of pizza out to pass over to him. She grabbed her napkin again, wiping her fingers free of grease and cheese. Her questions came to a halt, finally able to relax and simply enjoying the movie for what it was. Every now and then her gaze would flicker over to Jim, just to see how he was, or to grab her bottle of beer and take another sip of it.]