Captain James T. Kirk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
winscenario) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-01-21 01:55 pm
winscenario) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-01-21 01:55 pm
( open ) last night I felt real arms around me
who: Jim Kirk & YOU
what: Bones is gone and Jim is coping with it the only way he knows how: poorly.
when: Jan 25th through to early February
where: bars, parks and streets, shuttle and beyond the walls
warnings: drinking, general weird moods, Jim being depressed, possible crying. don't expect anything else but will edit if need be. JUST GIVE HIM DISTRACTIONS.
I ▹ JUST ONE MORE GLASS
II ▹ MIDNIGHT RUN
III ▹ THROW YOURSELF INTO YOUR WORK
what: Bones is gone and Jim is coping with it the only way he knows how: poorly.
when: Jan 25th through to early February
where: bars, parks and streets, shuttle and beyond the walls
warnings: drinking, general weird moods, Jim being depressed, possible crying. don't expect anything else but will edit if need be. JUST GIVE HIM DISTRACTIONS.
I ▹ JUST ONE MORE GLASS
[ It's a few days before Jim actually leaves the house properly, though he still doesn't look all that great. He's combed his hair and put on mildly presentable clothes, but he's still sporting a short beard he hasn't cared to shave, and he's not looking like his usual cheerful self either.
During the first few days, it's all still a little too fresh on his mind, and his heart. He goes out but it's not with the intent of socializing so much as sitting by the bar on his own, asking the barkeep to pour him one glass after another. He spends most of the time staring down at the liquid swirling in his glass, gaze seldom lifting from the surface, though he will if someone happens to take a seat on the stool next to his.
He'll spare a vague smile if it's a stranger, and a few words if it's a familiar face: ] What brings you around here?
During the first few days, it's all still a little too fresh on his mind, and his heart. He goes out but it's not with the intent of socializing so much as sitting by the bar on his own, asking the barkeep to pour him one glass after another. He spends most of the time staring down at the liquid swirling in his glass, gaze seldom lifting from the surface, though he will if someone happens to take a seat on the stool next to his.
He'll spare a vague smile if it's a stranger, and a few words if it's a familiar face: ] What brings you around here?
II ▹ MIDNIGHT RUN
[ It doesn't get better anytime soon. It's a process, Jim tries to tell himself, but he hates that he can't force himself to just be fine. He hates that he's nothing but a burden souring everyone's mood, and maybe that's why he thinks it would be for the best if he just avoided everyone.
On the other hand, he's lonely. He hates that. Can't stand being all alone in the empty loft when he leaves the guard. John's been putting up with him and keeping him company more often than not, but Jim knows that he can't very well hog all his time. He's got better things to do than stay with him.
So, when he can't sleep, and when he can't stand the deafening silence, he puts on running gear and goes out for a late night jog. There are always a few people around but it's generally quiet, and the parks are a good spot to just run until his legs hurt and his lungs burn. When he can't take it anymore and his head starts spinning, he lies down on the grass, staring up at the night sky. Anything to not be in his empty bed, staring up at the ceiling. ]
On the other hand, he's lonely. He hates that. Can't stand being all alone in the empty loft when he leaves the guard. John's been putting up with him and keeping him company more often than not, but Jim knows that he can't very well hog all his time. He's got better things to do than stay with him.
So, when he can't sleep, and when he can't stand the deafening silence, he puts on running gear and goes out for a late night jog. There are always a few people around but it's generally quiet, and the parks are a good spot to just run until his legs hurt and his lungs burn. When he can't take it anymore and his head starts spinning, he lies down on the grass, staring up at the night sky. Anything to not be in his empty bed, staring up at the ceiling. ]
III ▹ THROW YOURSELF INTO YOUR WORK
[ After the end of the month, the levels of self-pity start getting a little ridiculous. He finds himself equal parts sad and angry at himself that he's just letting himself go down a spiral, as much as he tries to tell himself he's coping just fine.
He needs to do something. Be useful. Resume his life in the Quarantine the best he can, cling to whatever is still steady and present and normal in his life: his work.
He shaves finally, tidies up his place, even irons clothes and buys some ready-to-eat meals to stock up his fridge, and he shows up at the Perimeter Guard after a week and some looking mostly like himself. He's not as cheerful, granted, but he doesn't avoid or ignore anyone, though it's obvious he focuses on his work more than anything else. As the days go by people might catch him yawning at odd times, rubbing at his tired eyes still sporting dark circles that are proof of his lack of sleep.
Out on the shuttle, he might even start to doze off halfway through a flight. Whoever's with him should probably take helm control and just tell him to sit back, or else Jim's grip on the shuttle might just slip, giving them the scare of their lives. ]
He needs to do something. Be useful. Resume his life in the Quarantine the best he can, cling to whatever is still steady and present and normal in his life: his work.
He shaves finally, tidies up his place, even irons clothes and buys some ready-to-eat meals to stock up his fridge, and he shows up at the Perimeter Guard after a week and some looking mostly like himself. He's not as cheerful, granted, but he doesn't avoid or ignore anyone, though it's obvious he focuses on his work more than anything else. As the days go by people might catch him yawning at odd times, rubbing at his tired eyes still sporting dark circles that are proof of his lack of sleep.
Out on the shuttle, he might even start to doze off halfway through a flight. Whoever's with him should probably take helm control and just tell him to sit back, or else Jim's grip on the shuttle might just slip, giving them the scare of their lives. ]
ii
Jina, stop that! Come here!
[The voice starts out sounding distant, but it seems to be getting closer. "Jina," a Great Dane with a harlequin coat, ceases her licking and eagerly runs back to her owner, Billy. He approaches, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand while holding onto Jina's red collar with the other.]
Er, sorry about that. She still needs obedience training.
[Billy was still wearing his hat along with his usual attire, even the finger-less gloves despite the chilly weather. He preferred to be able to feel the handles of his knives rather than have a barrier between them and his fingertips.]
I didn't see you there, or else I would have kept her on the leash.
no subject
It doesn't take much at all to piece together that the dog's name is Jina, and that the man approaching is her owner. He looks up at him as he gets closer, shaking his head and smiling. ]
Don't worry about it. It's not like she attacked me viciously. [ He shrugs. ] Besides, I like dogs.
[ Still feeling a little too dizzy to get up, he crosses his legs and reaches out to the pup, waiting for her to come over again so he can pet her. ] C'mere, girl!
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Go on then, you've been forgiven.
[And she's back up close to the kind stranger's face again, though she refrains from licking him this time. A deep bark sounds from her throat as she jumps around Jim, wagging her tail. Billy kneels down beside them, patting the dog's back.]
Who doesn't like dogs? They're friendly, loyal, and great hunting partners with the right training, but I'm content with Jina just being herself. She'd probably rather play with the prey than kill it anyway. [He chuckles.]
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You'd be surprised. Plenty of people aren't into dogs. [ He smooths his hands down the pup's sides, glancing over at the man with a shrug. ] Their loss, if you ask me.
[ Not that he has a dog, nor does he plan to get one. He just doesn't have the time for an animal who'd require so much attention. He can barely take care of himself right now as it is. ]
I'm Jim, by the way. [ He offers a hand to the man for a shake— and Jina promptly paws at it, demanding more belly scratches. Jim laughs. ]
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[Billy cups Jina's face and rubs her cheeks, which only makes her tail wag faster. Despite the dog breath, it's worth getting that reaction out of her.]
I could never bring myself to eat dog meat back in Korea, so I'd always go hungry whenever we had it.
[When he was a boy, it was too disturbing to think of how some of the dogs running around his village might end up in someone's meal.]
Billy. [He takes Jim's hand, flashing a small smile when he feels Jina's paw brush against their hands as they shake. When it ends, Billy's the one who obliges her with belly rubs and Jina immediately falls on her side to give him more access. He smiles before casually asking:] So what brought you out this late? Couldn't sleep?
[That's why Billy was out with Jina, at least. The nightmares about his death had become less frequent by now, but he just couldn't shake off the wariness of falling asleep. Rather than lie awake in bed, he chose to put his nervous energy to use. Walking helped tucker Jina out for bed, too, so it was a win-win.]
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People eat dog meat where you come from?
[ He's got a decent grasp of Earth history and old cultural habits, really, but evidently a few details pass him by. He's seen plenty of weirder customs on other planets and among other species, though, so it's not like it's too much of a shock. Just strange to wrap his head around. ]
Nice meeting you, Billy. [ He pats the dog's leg as she rolls over on the grass. ] Something like that. My place is too empty, and I just... needed to do something other than stare up at the ceiling all night.
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[Some Americans even considered eating dogs barbaric, so he's kind of glad Jim doesn't give him a dirty look, even though he got use it as he grew up.]
Lying awake in bed hardly ever seems to help people. [One of Jina's hind legs starts kicking as Billy continues to rub her belly.] It doesn't have anything to do with people walking into each other's dreams again, does it?
[That's his guess, although he hasn't experienced something like that since then.]
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[ He's curious, not just because of the cultural peculiarities. It's as good a distraction as any other, honestly, and he does like meeting new people. Billy seems nice enough, too, and Jim could use making some new friends. ]
No, it really doesn't. [ He grins at the puppy kicking her leg around, chuckling softly. Then he looks back up to Billy. ] Oh, no. Nothing like that. Just... [ He sighs, shrugging. Whatever, right? ] Someone I knew left. Went back home.
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[He remembers how terrifying it was for him when he first arrived and couldn't understand anything that was being said to him. The Master had not been a very patient man either.
Billy's eyes dart to Jim upon hearing that someone was returned home.]
Really? [The hand petting Jina stops and once she realizes it, she propers herself up, looking at them both.] I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from a stranger, but I'm sorry. Were you from the same world?
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Sounds like a long time in my past. What year are you from?
[ Curiosity wins out. He loves hearing about different time periods, and it's even better when it comes from someone with actual personal experience. That's one thing about this place he honestly likes. ]
Yeah, we were. We came here at the same time, around nine months ago. [ He shrugs, smiling weakly. ] No one's fault, I guess. I'll just miss him a lot. But thank you.
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[When he first arrived, it was hard for Billy to wrap his head around being able to meet and speak with people from different time periods (hell, different worlds even), but now that he's settled down, he's come to find it just as interesting.
But something Jim said caught his attention the most.]
The same time? Do you know if that happen often? [Wait, no--that's not exactly what he wants to ask. He moves his hands around as though trying to grasp what he wants to say.] I mean, it's just... [He lets out a small, frustrated sigh.] I've met a few people here who have others from home with them. Makes me wonder if someone I know will show up eventually, but at the same time, I feel kind of guilty for thinking like that.
[Because what if that meant they were dead? Like him.]
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[ That puts nearly four hundred years between them. It's amazing. Jim can't even remember if he's ever met anyone from that far in the past. For now he spares Billy too many questions, though, willing to focus on the other topic. ]
It happens sometimes, yes, though people don't often step through the portal together. A few people don't have anyone else they know here, but then a number of them have a lot of familiar faces from home. Friends, family, acquaintances. [ He offers a small smile, shaking his head. ]
Don't. It's normal, I think. It's... life here isn't so bad, but it's easier when you have someone else with you here, someone you know. You shouldn't feel guilty about that.
[ Jim used to, too. So he gets it. ]
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[He wants to ask what it's like, but saves that question for later as Jim answers his other question. Though it only shows in his eyes (as do most of his emotions), Billy seems soothed by the words. He sits down on the grass completely, bending his knees so he can rest his arms on them.]
Yeah... maybe I'm just overthinking things. [Because who would know? Perhaps the others might take a liking to this place if they came... or not. Another sigh.] I'm just anxious since things weren't looking too good when I left.
[He plucks at one of the strands of grass.]
But I know it's out of my hands at this point.
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Most everyone here, if not everyone, comes from a point in time in his past, even if maybe not quite as far back as Billy. The surprise is usually quickly followed by curiosity and fascination, too. Wanting to know what the future looks like, how Earth and humans in general are getting along. Jim likes to think he hasn't disappointed anyone so far. ]
Then maybe it wouldn't be so bad at all if these friends of yours ended up here, too. [ He smiles a little, tilting his head. ] What was going on before you ended up here, can I ask?
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[The first time he saw a flying ship was when he accidentally walked into Rey's dreams shortly after he arrived. Over time, he got used to seeing one fly over the city occasionally, though that didn't stop him from lifting his head to gawk at it every time.]
We were in the middle of a battle. We seemed to be doing okay in the beginning, but then the enemy brought out a secret weapon and things took a bad turn.
[He shifts uneasily and leans a bit more forward.]
Last thing I remember is seeing one of my friends charging straight towards the Gating gun. [And pain, seeing and hearing Goody plummet to his death, the breath leaving his lungs, and everything going dark. Now, he can feel himself starting to sweat a little.]
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[ Wild guess that Billy has no clue what a transporter is, but he'll leave it to him to ask about it if he wants to. Complicated technology, anyway. Most people not familiar with it get weirded out when Jim explains that they're taken apart in one place, and put together in another.
Jim's quiet at first, letting Billy explain his predicament, and figure out how much or how little he's comfortable with sharing. Even he feels a vague pang in his chest at the last bit, and he can tell Billy's not exactly comfortable reliving that memory. He settles a hand on his upper arm, squeezing lightly. ] I'm sorry. We don't... have to talk about it.