[closed] habeas felicitatem in die natus es

[antietam]

who: Adam and Ronan
what: Adam surprises Ronan with a house
when: 10/25
where: Their new home
warnings: Will probably get steamy. Currently steamy. NSFW.

Adam never thought much about birthdays or celebrations, but this technically also doubled as their anniversary. The realization inspired him to make Ronan's birthday better than the last, which would hopefully be easy considering Ronan's mother wouldn't die again and Adam wouldn't almost kill him this year. He wanted to help Ronan avoid the melancholy of those memories, so he spent most of the month preparing.

He'd been saving up since he arrived, and with Ronan's half of the money, he managed to find them a small home out of the city. It seemed like an old fixer-upper, but it had a garage that could fit two cars and Ronan seemed to like that sort of thing anyway.

The furniture ended up a bit eclectic thanks to Adam's lack of experience in interior design. He bought what seemed most practical for the money, anything that didn't look too cheap, and furnished their house with the bare minimum. He knew Ronan would dream up the rest for them.

He spent most of his time installing shelves and cabinets to prepare for the various useless objects Ronan would dream up, and spent the last week making things seem homey. He had no real experience in that, but he'd been been around the Barns to know what Ronan liked.

Once Ronan's birthday hit, it was finally livable. The backyard was a bit of a mess, overgrown and unused. Adam wasn't sure if Ronan would want to start up a farm while he was already working at one, so he left their options open. Still, Adam felt proud of his work and excited to live in his very own house.

It was hard to contain that excitement, and he caved the night before Ronan's birthday. He convinced himself it would be better to show him now so they could celebrate all day tomorrow. So when they met up for dinner, Adam pretended to give Ronan directions to a restaurant, keeping it up until they arrived at a quiet, unlit home with nothing else around it.

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[antietam]

Adam, for his part, had learned how to take things easy. He was good at holding himself back, but he had been so starved for affection at first that they both got overwhelmed. His feelings for Ronan were the only things he couldn't control, and that was both good and bad.

He furrowed his brow as Ronan made him wait, stubbornly waiting for him to break, and he did. He was just as surprised now as he was the first time, which was to say, not at all. He hadn't known what Ronan was planning when he stepped into his bedroom that day, but he'd seen it coming from miles away. Again, he let it happen.

This time, though, he didn't wait before responding. He pressed back with fervor, telling Ronan clearly how he felt, holding the back of his head with his hand.

[somnioergosum]

Ronan reached up to touch Adam's neck. His fingers crept along his skin until he was cupping his cheek. If there was any more distance to close, he would have pulled him in, but there was none. The kiss continued with neither one stopping. He could take his time now. He knew how to breathe so he didn't lose his breath. He'd been familiar with Adam's mouth for some time and he took advantage of that knowledge. Adam might be Ronan's first and only, but the two of them had more than made up for his initial lack of experience.

He wrapped his arm around Adam's waist. He thought about pushing him onto the bed and pinning him there or pulling him onto his lap, but this moment felt too good to rush. Just like before.

[antietam]

The kiss was sweet and passionate, far surpassing that first kiss on Ronan's bad. It wasn't even quite like the kissing on the couch; that was wild and uncontrollable, the two of them saying everything that they'd been keeping in using their bodies.

Now he kissed Ronan every day, told him how he felt, so there was nothing waiting to be unleashed. It made this kiss perfect.

He realized, though, that they weren't making much use of the bed. Slowly, he pulled Ronan down with him until they were side-by-side, keeping the kiss going.

A few moments later, he pulled back just enough to speak. "I love you," he whispered, which should have been obvious by now. He didn't need to say it, but he liked to.

[somnioergosum]

Ronan smiled, not that anyone could see. His lips were too close to Adam's. He wasn't good with words, but these came easily to him. "I love you."

He kissed Adam again. He shifted his body, swinging one leg over Adam's and rolling on top of him. His body pressed against Adam's. As his hand moved down Adam's neck to grasp at his shirt, he felt the beat of his heart in his veins.

He wasn't good with words, but if he had to pick one to describe how he felt, he'd say alive.

[antietam]

Adam realized how surreal this moment was. If Adam from a couple years ago knew that he would be sharing a home with Ronan Lynch, in love and loved by him, and in a completely different universe, he probably would have had a heart attack.

He could never use words to describe what Ronan has done for him. He gave him love and patience when Adam believed it could never happen for him. Ronan gave him a future that seemed real, not just his fantasies about stainless steel condos and a nondescript spouse. This was a little sooner than he imagined, but it was not unwelcome.

He grabbed the back of Ronan's shirt, peppering kisses along his mouth and jaw. As always, Adam couldn't wait to get Ronan shirtless, so he pulled the shirt up over his head with one hand while the other smoothed along his back.

"We were supposed to save this for your birthday."

[somnioergosum]

When Adam reached for his shirt, Ronan pulled back to make its removal easier. He leaned in again as soon as it was off, settling against Adam. It was no longer so hard to keep balanced. He'd done this before, shifting his weight onto his legs, which were spread over Adam's, arching his back into Adam's touch, it was all familiar. But the thrill of it never faded.

Only Adam could make stability seem exciting. It wasn't that Ronan hadn't secretly wished for a boyfriend and a place to call their own. It was that it would be awful with anyone else but Adam.

Ronan kissed Adam's neck. He sucked lightly at the flesh before pulling one of Adam's hands away from his own body.

"You're the one who couldn't wait." He pressed Adam's fingers to his mouth.

[antietam]

Adam tilted his chin up to allow Ronan more access, watching as his fingers pressed against his boyfriend's lips. They'd done this plenty of times before, but now all he could remember was that first night. They hadn't said anything, just moved with each other and understood everything the other wanted.

He smiled up at Ronan, tracing along his lips. "Oh, well, we can always stop. Finish up tomorrow." It was an obvious bluff, but he felt that Ronan would take it.

"I can wait. Can you?" He pinched Ronan's lower lip between his thumb and index finger.

[somnioergosum]

With Adam's fingers trapping his lip, there was no way Ronan was going to answer. He stared down at him, pupils blown wide. His breaths were shallow and gasping. Each one warmed Adam's hand.

Ronan pulled his own hands away and pressed them to Adam's stomach. His fingers slid below his shirt and he dragged his hands up, bringing Adam's shirt with him. He stopped only when the tips of his fingers had reached Adam's collarbone. Through it all he kept his head steady, unwilling for Adam's fingers to be off him. To do that, he had to move his legs and bring their hips closer together. When that happened, it was clear that Ronan too aroused to even joke about that.

"No." The word was a little garbled, but the meaning was clear through tone alone.

[antietam]

Adam had not fully realized how much he enjoyed having some semblance of control over Ronan, but he was just as aroused as Ronan by the time he rocked his hips up to find some friction.

He swallowed a groan and slid his thumb into Ronan's mouth before pulling his hand away completely. Before Ronan could think to complain, he pressed their lips together forcefully. He needed both hands to undo Ronan's pants and push them off over his ass.

At some point, he would need to take his own clothes off, but that would require having both his hands and lips away from Ronan for a moment, which was currently too long.

[somnioergosum]

Ronan missed Adam's hands immediately, but as long as they were still on him, he didn't mind. And Adam was working very fast to make sure they would be on as much of him as possible. He shifted his hips to make it easier for Adam to get his clothes off. Then he reached down and helped, pulling them down and then kicking them off. He had to pull away from Adam's lips to do it, but he took advantage of that.

Ronan grabbed the collar of Adam's shirt and jerked it over his head. What he meant to do was to reach for Adam's pants with his other hand, but instead his fingers teased one of Adam's nipples. At the same time, he ground his hips against Adam's. God, he should have ripped his pants off first. Somehow, it was even more frustrating now that only one of them was clothed. Half clothed.

[antietam]

Adam didn't miss a beat when Ronan pulled at his shirt, lifting himself up and raising his arms to throw it off. He ended up arching into Ronan's fingers and hips and he swore under his breath. It had been too long since they had privacy like this.

He refrained from rocking up again, and instead reached down to cup Ronan through his boxers. The feeling of his arousal made Adam lick his lips and he teasingly massaged him with his palm.

He found himself similarly frustrated with the amount of clothing he had on, straining against his jeans. He canted his hips and impatiently rocked himself against Ronan's thigh, urging him to take action.

[somnioergosum]

Ronan gasped when Adam's hand went to his cock. He rocked against him. His eyes closed and his own hand almost went to Adam's guide him under his boxers. Instead he opened his eyes again leaned in to kiss Adam again. After that he slid his leg away from Adam, making enough room for his hands. He unzipped Adam's jeans. He stopped then to press his hand to Adam's cock and as he rubbed his palm against him, he nipped Adam's lower lip. Then he had his fingers hooked into his jeans and boxers and jerked them down. The moment they were down to his thighs, Ronan took him in his hand.

He didn't usually take his time. He didn't intend to now, either. But he stopped now to curl his fingers around Adam's cock and slowly stroke down its length.

[antietam]

Adam tangled his tongue against Ronan's, gasping into the kiss as Ronan touched him. It was obvious that Ronan was too impatient for Adam's teasing, and Adam's body seemed to agree. His hips moved without his permission, pressing into Ronan's hand to beg for a quicker pace.

He soon found the strength to pull Ronan's boxers down as well, sucking on his tongue as if to say that things were about to get even better. His hands went to Ronan's ass to pull him closer, attempting to find the right angle where they could press their cocks together. He squeezed his ass in the meanwhile, fingers carefully dipping between his cheeks to see what reaction he would get.

[somnioergosum]

Ronan would have gasped if his mouth weren't covered by Adam's. He had two conflicting instincts that his body wasn't sure how to resolve. He wanted to press against Adam's cock but also his hand. The end result had him writhing and grinding hard against Adam. He pressed his hands to Adam's hips and waist, pinning him to the bed.

He had to pull away from Adam's lips. At some point he lost the rhythm of his own breathing. He gasped. He cursed. He went back for more and bit on Adam's lip this time.

More.

[antietam]

Adam was expecting a little more hesitation, though he didn't know why. This was how he and Ronan had always done things, rushed and needy. They never ended up regretting it because they knew what they wanted with each other. Of course Ronan had thought about this before, just like Adam.

He lost concentration as Ronan rocked their erections together mercilessly, forgetting himself until he felt an insistent biting on his lip. He mumbled something in response, something he couldn't even parse, and tried to arch up despite being held down.

Once he steadied his hand, two fingers teased Ronan's hole, circling and pressing just the tip of a finger inside him. Then he started to move, trying to roll Ronan off of him. It was too difficult from this position.

[somnioergosum]

Ronan resisted, trying to stay on top until he realized what Adam was going for. Then he relented, rolling onto his side. He wrapped his arms around Adam's waist and coiled one of his legs around Adam's to keep him close.

He had yet to register on an intellectual level or really, any level that wasn't physical, what they were about to do. But he was aware that they needed something else, if only because of how uncomfortable it was for Adam to press inside him. Unless that was normal.

"I think we're missing something." Ronan didn't elaborate what or allow Adam a chance to respond. He kissed him again and moved his hips against him.

[antietam]

Adam grunted in frustration when Ronan kissed him again, but he kept it going for a few long moments before pulling back. "I know," he replied, irritated that Ronan believed he didn't know what he was doing. He had books, after all.

He leaned forward again to bite at Ronan's lip, fingers continuing to tease him until his other hand reached the nightstand. He had planned for this, of course, because that was what Adam did.

He brought out a small bottle of lube, one that had been passed out for free at a festival, and pulled away from Ronan to open it and concentrate. He was rubbing it between his fingers when he realized he should ask.

"Are you... sure? You could do it to me or we could just... something else. Doesn't matter."

[somnioergosum]

Ronan knew better. There was no excuse. He knew that Adam would have planned every aspect of this, any way it could and would go. And yet he was still surprised. The shock was enough to snap him out of his haze.

It was stupid to hesitate about this. God knew that they'd-- no, he needed to leave Him out of this. Ronan knew that they'd done about everything else but this. It shouldn't matter, but the fact remained that it was the most intimate act, in Ronan's mind, that they could do. He'd been told it was wrong in so many ways and still he wanted it. For once, Adam's hands weren't enough.

Oh, he wanted them. Teasing him open, around his cock, but he wanted more. And he was glad this was with Adam and he knew how Ronan needed it.

His silent struggle resolved, he finally responded. "Yeah, I'm sure. I can do it to you later."

[antietam]

Adam didn't mind the hesitation. It allowed him to think about what he was doing, breathe and steady himself. His knees shook slightly between Ronan's legs, and by the time he felt sturdy, Ronan replied.

Or maybe it was Ronan's agreement that grounded him. Adam gave him a lopsided, easy smile, full of anticipation. "Okay," he agreed, his clean hand running along Ronan's thigh, "Tell me if you wanna do something else."

They weren't used to careful, slow touches or open communication, but that was really the only thing that would work here. He took Ronan's cock into his lubed hand, fingers working around the whole of his length until his strokes were smooth and even.

He moved downward then, cupping Ronan's balls and stroking along his perineum. Nervous, he coated his fingers with more lube and then circled his index around Ronan's hole.

He reminded himself that it would be easiest with Ronan relaxed, and his clean hand went to Ronan's cock, pumping him the way he knew Ronan liked best.

[somnioergosum]

All it took was Adam's hand around his cock for Ronan to decide that he would never want to do anything else. He reached blindly for Adam, desperate to touch any part of him. He had to remind himself that those hands were exactly where he wanted them and didn't need to be guided anywhere.

He tensed when Adam teased his entrance. At some point, that was supposed to feel good. He assumed. But at the moment he had to force himself to think of something else. Fortunately, Adam was always one step ahead of him. As he stroked his cock, Ronan parted his thighs wider before snaking one leg up around Adam's waist. He hoped that would give Adam better access to anything he cared to or needed to touch, but really he just needed to move. He hated staying still as much as he hated the space between them.

[antietam]

Adam was patient and waited for Ronan to relax and spread his legs a little wider before he pressed the tip of his finger inside him. His breath caught, getting used to the feeling of that tight heat and trying not to get ahead of himself when he thought about what that would be like around him.

He exhaled a shaky breath and carefully slid the rest of the way in, then looked up for Ronan's reaction. His thrusts started slow, then gradually matched the rhythm of the hand on Ronan's cock.

[somnioergosum]

Ronan's first instinct was to close to his eyes, but when he watched Adam, he was transfixed. Any thoughts he had about how uncomfortable this was were soon replaced. The new ones centered around Adam's hands moving over and in him. When Adam looked up at him to gauge his reaction, Ronan reminded himself that he was no matter how he felt, he wasn't ready to have Adam's cock inside him.

Patience. He hated it. But when Adam thrust his finger inside him, he started to change his mind. Not at once-- it still felt too strange at first. Then he felt he pleasure building in slow waves.

"Fuck." He grabbed at Adam's shoulder. He tried to still his hips but the kept rocking up into the hand around his cock and then back to try and thrust Adam's finger in deeper.

[antietam]

Adam leaned in closer so Ronan could hold onto him, turning his head to kiss his wrist. He was trying to keep this slow and sweet, at least until he felt Ronan pushing back against his fingers.

"Oh," he said without meaning to, face going red. It was hard to express why the thought of Ronan desperately fucking himself on Adam's fingers was so arousing, so he didn't try to. Instead, he started meeting Ronan's thrusts, allowing him to set the pace.

Then he pressed his second finger in, letting Ronan adjust before scissoring them with each movement. It wasn't long before he impatiently added a third, hooking his fingers each time he pulled them almost-entirely out to make Ronan really feel it.

"Say when," he requested. He was already breathing hard and his pupils were blown wide with lust, but he tried to remain practical. "And―condoms, in the drawer."

[somnioergosum]

At first, Ronan fought to keep his breath even. It didn't take long to abandon that effort. Panting, trying and failing to bite back a groan, he moved faster and clutched harder at Adam and the sheets he'd just gripped with one hand.

He forgot there was a point to this beyond having Adam fuck him with his hands until Adam spoke. For a long moment, he could do nothing more than stare. Then his brow furrowed and his hips stilled.

"Why do we need condoms?" Ronan didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as that, but his voice was already breathless. He couldn't help the slight rasp. Still, he couldn't blame it all on that.

He thought that this was the first time Adam had done this. He thought it was just him-- so why would they need a condom? Was it someone Adam had dated before? He couldn't think that Ronan would cheat on him and Ronan knew Adam wouldn't do that to him.

[antietam]

Adam didn't notice anything was wrong until Ronan stopped moving. He thought he'd hurt him somehow, bent his fingers in the wrong way, so he also stilled and looked up in concern.

His boyfriend did look upset, but not in pain. He frowned and pulled his fingers out of him, forcing his brain to slow down and think beyond his intense need to be inside Ronan. Why did they need condoms? Mostly, Adam's habit of collecting them from the festivals stemmed from just always thinking condoms were necessary.

The books he read gave him a bit more insight, and he pulled from that. "Because I'm gonna―" He flushed, despite the fact that his fingers were just inside Ronan for this purpose. "It'll get messy and you'll have to... clean up." This was an incredible mood killer.