open ✧ moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars

[realists]

who: jyn & anyone
what: more memories to paw through
when: oct 9 - oct 23
where: it's all in ur head
warnings: death, blood, violence, terrible names for stuffed animals, rogue one spoilers if you still haven't seen it?
notes: if you'd like to turn any of the visions that have a visual representation into dreams, feel free to do so.

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( vision / flash ) lah'mu

[ it comes quick, hurried, panicked. pigtailed braids thump against shoulders and small, strong legs thunder across the damp green grass of lah'mu, of home. the backpack full of toys thumps bounces uncomfortably, always threatening to slip off thin shoulders but there's no time to stop and readjust.

it jumps to inside, feverish packing. it's time to go, but the stuffed animals and toys can't be left behind! stormie and koodie and sniksnak must come with, reassurances muttered to the stuffed animals as they're shoved into the backpack.

i love you, stardust and a hug, and it's over. ]

( vision / flash ) tamsye prime

[ "saw tried to keep her identity undercover, but i suspect she may be--."

fear balloons, but saw moves so quickly and the traitor drops like a stone. the fact that he's still breathing is a surprise. the ensuing fight is fast and sloppy, weapons drawn from hidden nooks that wouldn't be noticed, a knife in a boot, a blaster ripped out of a storm troopers arms.

but then the tie fighters come, a glimpse through high windows. the empire will destroy the entire planet just to get to one man and one teenage girl.

a green beam of plasma hits the power cells lining the walls and the world explodes, coalescing in saw's screams of agony as twisted metal and fire rain down, blood pouring from his body. ]

( dream ) jedha

[ "saw, if you're watching this, then perhaps there is a chance to save the alliance."

jyn hasn't seen her father in something like fifteen years, give or take a couple, but here he is, standing in front of her. a million emotions war inside of her but she stands still and listens to the recording, jaw tight and firm against the onslaught of pent up emotion.

"perhaps there's a chance to explain myself and, though i don't dare hope for too much, a chance for jyn, if she's alive, if you can possibly find her... a chance to let her know that my love for her has never faded and how desperately i've missed her.

jyn, my stardust, i can't imagine what you think of me. when i was taken, i faced some bitter truths. i was told that, soon enough, krennic would have you as well... as time went by i knew you were either dead or so well hidden that he would never find you. i knew if i refused to work, if i took my own life, it would only be a matter of time before krennic realized he no longer needed me to complete the project."

jyn sways on her feet, legs unsteady.

"so i did the one thing that nobody expected: i lied." jyn listens as her father explains how he lied so well that no one would suspect him of setting his revenge inside the empire's greatest weapon: the death star. she can't look away as her father goes on to explain the flaw he'd built into the weapon, so small and yet so powerful.

"jyn, if you're listening." her head jerks, choking on a sob as he addresses her directly, not even knowing if she would be there. "my beloved, so much of my life has been wasted. i try to think of you only in the moments when i'm strong, because the pain of not having you with me... your mother. our family. the pain of that loss is so overwhelming i risk failing even now. it's just so hard not to think of you. think of where you are. my stardust."

jyn crumples to her knees as the recording abruptly cuts off. ]

( dream ) eadu

[ rain blurs her vision but jyn doesn't stop climbing. her father is on that platform, or will be, she is going to make it up there whether cassian wants her to or not, not matter the pressure in her chest and the way her arms burn with the effort of pulling herself up so many ladder rungs. eventually her fingers find purchase on the platform and she hauls herself up, attracting the attention of a storm trooper. still half on the platform, she grabs his leg and gives a yank, sending him falling over the edge.

she doesn't look to see how he landed, she hears the crunch of his body hitting the ground hundreds of feet below them.

across the platform she can see her father. she creeps along the crates, keeping herself hidden in the shadows. the rain helps, even if she has to swipe her hand across her face, keep readjusting her grip on the blaster as she takes careful aim at krennic.

suddenly the sky is alive with the roar of starfighters, alliance jets firing on the platform with the flare of laser cannons and the wail of eadu's alarm. jyn ducks behind a crate, breathing heavily in the suddenly smoke filled air. her eyes water and she squeezes them shut to block out the images of bodies charred by the blast, as if closing her eyes will shut out the pained keening of injured imperials.

she pokes her head up, searching for her father and he's there, unsteadily pushing himself upright, alive. jyn runs. two more x-wings circle in, the platform lit up with red fire like some kind of nightmarish hellscape, jyn shoulders aside an officer, hurdles the burning body of a storm trooper.

"papa!" she screams, voice ragged and cracked.

galen turns to look at her, seeing her for the first time in nearly fifteen years. and then the world rends apart in an explosion. ]

( vision / flash ) scarif

[ it smells of blood and death and salt, stumbling across the sand, carefully turning cassian away from the bodies of fallen rebels on the beach. they've already seen too much.

the walk to the shore seems too long and impossibly short at once, the horizon blotted out by the swelling white glow of the death star's shock wave. it could be a sunset. cassian's leg buckles, but there is no more sand to be found so here is as good a place as any to abruptly stop.

a murmur of "your father would be proud of you" and clasped hands before an embrace that seems to stretch into infinity, swallowed whole by the blinding white light until there is nothingness. ]

( closed dream ) lah'mu

[ the girl huddled in the high grass can't be more than eight, clutching a kyber crystal in one small hand, hair plastered to her cheeks from the damp air, maybe tears. she watches, careful and silent, as her father speaks to the man in white, cape billowing behind him. she watches, hunched and small, as her mother approaches the two men with a bundle. she isn't close enough to hear them, but the crackle and sizzle of blaster fire rings clear and true, as does galen calling out for his wife.

jyn chokes back a sob, eyes glued to the fallen figure of her mother, the way her father crumples to gather her up in his arms. she doesn't move until she hears the man in white calling for his death troopers.

"they have a child! find it!"

she runs, short legs strong and sure as she races down the path to the hideaway, her satchel slams against her back, pigtails slapping her cheeks as she checks to make sure the death troopers aren't behind her. she keeps running until she makes it to the cave, prying open the hatch disguised as a rock. she throws her bag in first and climbs in after, carefully closing it behind her and hovering by the top, looking out through the crack as death troopers search the cave.

they leave empty handed and jyn creeps the rest of the way down into the tiny hole. the dark doesn't bother her but she shakes the lantern, lighting it up so she doesn't feel so alone. she clutches her necklace, the one her mother had just given her, and squeezed her eyes shut.

it's hours until jyn hears something, fear splashing across her expression as the hatch is lifted open, but it's a familiar face and a sob escapes her.

"come, my child. we have a long ride ahead of us." saw helps her out of hatch and when she slips her small hand in his, he doesn't let go, squeezing it gently and looking down at her with a frown. "we have to go."

saw brings her back to the house, acrid smoke from a fire making her eyes water as saw searches through papa's things angrily, making a mess of her papa's neat work space. she helps saw find all of papa's hiding places but they're all empty and jyn mournfully looks at the dolls the storm troopers had shredded as if abommy the gig held her father's research.

jyn left the house first and heard something heavy fall before saw closed the door. saw walked so quickly away from the house she almost had to run to catch up and suddenly there was an explosion, a rush of warm air as jyn turned to see her home in flames, fire licking at the damp grass. saw kept walking.

saw questioned her on his ship, about papa's work, what he studied, but jyn didn't know. he studied crystals, like her necklace, but saw already knew that. that couldn't be why the empire wanted galen so badly they sent a star destroyer for him. jyn couldn't answer and she looked at saw, his red-rimmed eyes and his heavy sigh. he looked at her, offered a reassuring smile.

"i don't know what to do with you, kid." ]

Comments

[evasives]

[he can see and feel her calming, and while it slowly eats at his own tension, it doesn't quite leave. it's not that he feels unsafe. there is no one he trusts more than jyn. the slow catch up to processing the relief and nervousness of it all barreling through him at once is just keeping him vaguely on edge.]

Okay. [it'll be better once they're away from the bathroom. he lets her tug him away from the toilet and out, and her ease seeps into him slowly with each step, chipping away at the tension. this is why he could let her toss it.]

[realists]

[ jyn pulls them back to bed, scrambling in without letting go of his hand, scooting to her side without thinking about the fact that she has a side. it's nothing.

she stays sitting instead of laying down right away, waiting for cassian to join her. ]

[evasives]

[it's a tiny bed with little space, but she has a side and he has a side anyway. it's a nice idle thought, something that dries up the last bit of tension lining him while he climbs into bed after her.]

[he sits up facing her and still holding her hand, waiting for her to go down first to make sure she's really ready this time. her hand is warm for once.]

[realists]

[ jyn pushes him down until he's laying on his back and curls up next to him silently, resting her head against his chest, listening to his very much alive heartbeat through his sleep shirt. she can feel it usually, when she's curled up behind him like a smaller parenthesis, but that didn't seem like enough now.

and so she settles draped across him, his very own blanket with cold toes, and pulls the blankets over the both of them. whatever tension was left in her melts away from the warmth of him underneath her, his breaths making her rise and fall against his chest.

finally she feels settled. ]

[evasives]

[he lets her maneuver him around, malleable under her hands. if he's surprised by the way jyn curls up against him (he is), cassian doesn't show it, even though it takes him a few moments to relax into it. he can offer this to her. it's a comfort for him in steps while he realizes she is not going anywhere, that she has his back like so few people ever did. she's his last resort, not death.]

[his arm tucks around her and he exhales as his eyes slip shut. he doesn't fall asleep right away, but he feels settled enough beside her to leech at her own peace, until they both finally drift off together in careful, safe pieces.]