riverviewlogs | ( open ) we live, we die

Entry tags:

( open ) we live, we die

who: cassian + you
what: another one for the memory sharing flood
when: mid october
where: dreams! or elsewhere in public spaces
warnings: spy things, death, murder, spoilers for rogue one, etc

( vision / flash ) i. the droid

[it's tanned hands, working on what looks like a very large robot: a black kx security droid, powered down. cassian tampers with the programming, fiddling with wires and hooking up the droid into his datapad. there's a brief reflection of his face in the black metal of the droid; he's younger, only a teenager, probably no older than fifteen with a prickly, patchy beard and less sallow eyes.]

[ten seconds pass, and he mutters something in fest to himself. then at last, he flicks the power back on. the droid's eyes light up, and he hobbles to his feet. it stands almost seven feet tall, and the angle suggests cassian is looking up from about a foot and a half lower.]

[i am k-2so. are you my reprogrammer?]

( vision / flash ) ii. the horizon

[there's a beach. the water is tinted with warm colors instead of blues, and out along the horizon is a giant sun. only it's not a sun at all, and there are puffs of air and explosions along the edges to prove it. the rest of the area around them is singing like a battlefield.]

[cassian walks weakly along the sand, upright only because of jyn beside him. his clothes are filthy and bloody as he looks down at them, his legs stumbling. as they reach the edge of the water, he collapses and she sets him down gently. he sinks into the sand, looking out at the very bright and damning fake sunset. each second that passes, it seems to grow closer. she reaches for his hand, and he looks down as he takes it.]

( dreamscape ) iii. the shot

[ visual. ]

[it's a very urban area, littered with people and voices and shops in all kinds of languages. cassian rushes through the streets, looking over his shoulder carefully. he moves like a shadow, breaking into a run when he finally ducks down an empty alleyway. there's a man waiting for him in a corner, his arm broken and pacing nervously about.

"news from jedha?" the man tells him about a defector imperial pilot who brings news about the empire building a weapon. a planetkiller. the message is from a man named galen erso. the conversation gets more frantic, nervous. "there's spies everywhere!" the man hisses.]

[the meeting is broken up by the arrival of stormtroopers. they ask for IDs. cassian jokes, laughs, plays it off, then shoots both troopers without hesitation. his informant starts to panic. "i'll never climb out of here with my arm!"

[cassian comes up behind him with a smile and a comforting voice. "calm down, we'll be all right."

[and then he shoots him. the body falls. cassian swallows, steadies himself against the murder, then leaps to climb up the wall's piping to escape.]

( dreamscape ) iv. the fall

[cassian is clinging to the edge of a data vault tower. above him is jyn, and even higher on the opposite wall, a door slides open. "jyn! he yells out, firing his blaster and initiating a quick round of firefight between a man in white and several stormtroopers.]

[one of the returning shots hits him, and his grip slips. he falls from the vault tower. his back slams into a metal beam, his arms briefly scramble for purchase on another, but he keeps falling, falling until he lands hard on a platform, his entire body limp and broken.]

[from above, there's an anxious quick yell of his name, "cassian!" but he doesn't move.]

( closed dreamscape ) v. the youth

[it's snowing outside. fest is a very cold planet, and even when you're small and aware of the dangers, the snow always has a level of adventure. twenty years ago, cassian was six years old. he's running through the snowy streets outside, scampering quickly as curfew approaches.]

[six year old cassian stomps back into the house, jumping on the floormat to shake the snow from his boots. there's a message sticking out of his pocket that he yells out is for his father, because even at six he's already running messages for the festian resistance. his mother comes over with a smile and helps him out of his coat, trading him a cup of something warm and steaming for his fluffy jacket. his father laughs in the kitchen, and cassian reaches for his mother's hand to pull her towards the sound.]

[he tells his mother excitedly about the other kids, how some of them were clonetroopers and they lost the big battle. his father beams down at him and ruffles his hair, but there is a fatigue to his eyes that the adult cassian shares. cassian just crawls into his lap and hands over the message, asking if he's allowed to read it too.]

[no, not this one. maybe next time. cassian shrugs it off, diving back immediately into his mug while his mother threatens to steal it for herself.]

[prose or brackets is fine; feel free to have a vision or a flash or both!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[he was going to offer his own apartment, but he sort of appreciates it on her end more. it gives him more control of the situation; he can leave if he wants to, whenever he wants to.]

I am right below you. Is fifteen minutes okay?

[it gives him time to prepare himself! excessively.]

That's fine. Come by whenever is convenient for you.

[She didn't know about his floor, but hers was relatively quiet. She didn't see much of anyone here, or maybe there weren't people stationed in this area. Regardless, they needed to talk..and give Rey more of a chance to sort out her feelings and thoughts.

This wasn't going to be a fun talk, was it?]

[he thinks too much for the next few minutes, trying to decide what the worst thing she could have seen was. if she wants to talk to him, it can't possible be something like jenoport; he assumes she'd rather just never speak to him again. but it's stressful anyway.]

[exactly fifteen minutes later, cassian makes his way upstairs and knocks at her door, mouth set in grim determination; it's the only sign he's concerned, because the rest of him looks fairly at ease whenever she opens it to see him there.]

[It's stressful for the two of them, and Rey is thinking it's more stressful for Cassian than her. The Force works in mysterious ways. Goes through her mind, nearly making her scoff. What was the point of her seeing those memories? To become closer to Cassian? To help him in some way? Fat chance.

She's drawn out of her thoughts when she hears that knock on the door. Slowly, she gets up from her bed to open the door. Cassian...is hard to read. Maybe stressed, maybe upset. She doesn't know him well enough to tell the difference. She side steps and invites him inside, gesturing to her bed for him to sit on. The seconds roll in and the room fills with tension. Rey doesn't know what to say, except to ask a single question:]

What was your last mission for the Rebellion?

[Assuming that was his last mission, but the color in the sky...what she was feeling. There was no mistaking what she saw.]

[she definitely wants to talk about something, but cassian doesn't broach it first. he just comes into her apartment and gives it a quick once over. he shakes his head at the offer to sit on her bed, too internally restless to sit down.]

[he doesn't like the silence, but he almost wishes it would come back when rey finally speaks up. he lets the question hang in the air for a few long seconds anyway, giving himself time to figure out how he wants to answer.]

Before coming here? [he doesn't wait for her to specify, running on that assumption. she had a vision, she already knows something presumably about one of his missions. maybe dropping facts will put off actual discussion.] I was part of a team that infiltrated an Imperial base. We stole the plans for the Death Star.

Yes.

[Before coming here. Before being brought into this place. What had he done before? She's fine with waiting. This...was a touchy subject for both of them. Her eyes go wide hearing he was part of that crucial team that got the plans for the Death Star.]

The Darth Star?

[This was huge, this was monumental. He was a key player and he...

He probably died getting those plans. The wonder and awe give way to sadness. She looks down, moving to sit on the edge of her bed.]

I don't know what I saw but...I saw a beach. I saw you and Jyn looking up at the sky and I knew...it wasn't a sunset.

[he's watching her carefully, trying to pick up signs of what's to come from her face. the way her expression shifts from surprise and awe into something much more sad is very telling, and cassian can feel his insides get all twisted up.]

[it's cemented the moment rey brings up the beach. he's too used to it just being a painful secret between he and jyn. but rey saw it. he wants to leave immediately.]

Scarif. [his jaw is very tight.] It was a tropical planet.

Is that all you saw?

[If Cassian wanted to leave, Rey wouldn't be able to hold him back. She wasn't going to entrap him here and make him tell her what happened. It's a painful memory, probably one of the last ones he had before coming here.]

Yes. That's all I saw from the vision.

[Her voice is nothing more than a soft whisper, trying not to make him upset or bring attention to her room. She wants to tell him he was brave for what he did. Strong in fighting until the very end, but those words would be meaningless, and probably make him more upset than anything.]

[she knows. even if the vision didn't go beyond a few moments on the beach, it's not hard to infer what happens - especially when someone knows about the death star, the rebellion, what his galaxy is like.]

[he counts to five and takes a silent breath for each second.]

It was not a sunset, nor even any kind of sun. [he sounds almost flat. mechanic. robotic, like it's a mission report. #coping.] The first time I saw the Death Star used, I was on Jedha. The last time was Scarif.

[Silence fills the room. It's tension filled, and heart breaking all at once. There is nothing Rey could say in this moment that would make things better. Nothing she could do to take back what she saw, what she learned of Cassian. The Force...it wouldn't help her here.

She will not give him pity, he doesn't need need it nor deserve it. He did what needed to be done to destroy the Death Star. He was a hero. telling him he was brave wouldn't help matters either.]

You completed your mission and stopped the Empire.

[The truth...it's all she could quietly say at this time.]

[for once he doesn't like the silence, because the reality of death is what fills it.]

[he appreciates that she doesn't ask him about it, or tell him anything stupid about how brave it was when he just died scared on the beach, clinging to jyn in the first time he'd been hugged in years.]

[her reiteration of the truth does help ground him though.]

It did not stop them immediately, but knowing the plans were successfully received and used is a relief. My whole life was spent fighting the Empire.

[There was a nod of her head, and honestly, she's surprised both of them are capable of talking this much. Yes, silence does fill the air, but they haven't moved form their spots. Neither of them have bolted for the door.]

And you are remembered for it. Everyone knows retrieving those plans was crucial in destroying the Death Star. It's still talked about even decades later.

[But no one knows who those people were. No one knows...but Rey would make sure of it. If she ever got off of Riverview, she would give Cassian his name back. Him and his friends who stopped the Death Star. They needed to be remembered.]

[he is honestly quite impressed with himself for staying here with her. the entire conversation is an uncomfortable one, and he's still not used to talking so candidly about being dead.]

[cassian finally glances at her. it makes sense, because it's not like the death star was anything close to subtle. but his work was always supposed to be subtle.]

[he lets out a puff of a laugh, but it's dry, with no actual amusement.] Decades, huh? [a beat.] Did you know it wasn't even sanctioned? We had to steal a ship. I'm sure they only want to talk about the success of it for morale.

[She tilts her head a little, eyebrows knitting together as she tries to process that information.]

I didn't know that. I would've thought they would have sanctioned it. [But she never asked even when she had some time with Leia. She didn't talk about the Rebellion or about Kylo Ren...or Han. Just...what their next move would be.]

It was talked about because everyone thought the Empire was unbeatable. The Death Star was supposed to be indestructible, and...you found the plans and got them to the Rebellion. [Her voice grows softer, trying to pay as much respect to what Cassian had done, what he gave his life for.]...and that changed everything.

Not all in the Alliance Command thought it the best course of action. The idea of the Death Star left some too hopeless. [he's familiar with that, but it never quite stopped him the way it did the alliance leaders.] Some of them thought it was unbeatable.

The flaw was built into the system. The plans were needed to exploit it. We went in to steal them, because no one else would. [and he felt like he'd done so many bad things before then. it was personal amends, in a way. he'd said himself to jyn: he wouldn't have been able to face himself if he gave up. he saw what happened to jedha firsthand. there was a chance to stop it, and rogue one took it.]

You can imagine how relieved I was to hear it had been destroyed.

[Well, when Cassian put it that way...she could see why some of the Alliance didn't want them to go and try to defeat the Death Star...Hence why the mission was unsanctioned.] But you had hope. It had to be done. [It caused a chain reaction, it brought hope to the galaxy, knowing the Death Star had a weakness and that it was exploited.]

A flaw built into it? [Did that mean there was someone on the inside who wanted that thing destroyed? Someone who had turned rogue...and allowed for the plans to be completed..] That...was never mentioned in the stories. [And she feels like an idiot for not trying to dig deeper.]

The look on your face said as much. [Some relief, and a hard time accepting it. He died never knowing if his mission was a success...at least she gave him some peace of mind. And it's stupid, but she feels a need to tell him thanks. For what he did, for what he gave up...but 'thanks' wouldn't cover it. Neither would saying it was an honor to meet him.] You and your crew, they changed the fate of the war...you saved a lot of lives.

The hope was not always there. [he knows jyn's little speech at the meeting carried weight, not just for his own inner battles, but for a lot of rebels.]

The man in charge of its design built into it a way it could be destroyed. The information leaked to us from him. The defector I spoke of - his name was Bodhi Rook. He brought us that message from the creator. We would have known nothing without his gamble. [leaving out the fact that cassian had almost killed galen, that he had died anyway. the flaw would have been unnoticed without bodhi's bravery.]

[he doesn't fidget, but he shifts in a way that's probably his equivalent, both for being so open about the news and the way her gratitude strikes him. cassian's done a lot for the rebellion, but he's never really been thanked like rey is doing now.] That's all we could have hoped for. Once we realized - [realized they weren't getting off the planet -] Knowing the Rebellion made use of the plans... it is a comfort.

[It was hard to imagine the Rebellion didn't have hope at the time, but when faced with the reality of the situation, hope was hard to find. But they found it, and used it to push themselves forward for the greater good...and it cost them their lives in the end.

And he's giving her a lesson in history, the stories that don't get told. The stories that were lost in the midst of war. The lives that were lost and the efforts behind their missions. Her eyes went wide hearing that the default had been part of the design of the Death Star. The odds of finding that out, of having someone like Bohdi defect and then finding the plans and giving them to the Alliance...it was a miracle they were successful....and he didn't know about it until she told him.

Rey could feel her eyes getting watery from the emotions running through her body, recalling those last moments she saw. She averted her gaze, taking in a deep breath to regain control of herself. She wished he could've been alive to see the destruction of the Death Star...but then he may have died in a different battle, or lived to see the First Order rise from the ashes of the Empire.]

They did...and I feel like...if it wasn't for you and the others...who knows, maybe I wouldn't have been born or maybe the Empire would still be around and so many other lives would've been lost or not created. [So many things could've happened...and it was because of his sacrifice, his and Jyn's and Bodhi's, that the Galaxy at least knew peace even for a short time.]

[it's everything cassian has ever fought for. to rid the galaxy of the empire, to make life better, for people like rey to exist in a world without the likes of palpatine. but talking about it so candidly, like it's just a fact: they won, the empire was defeated, the death star destroyed, all against the backdrop of his death and knowing he will never get to see it is a lot for him to process at once. spies aren't meant to be known. and he's not, not really by name, but his actions are.]

[it's probably fitting that he doesn't get to reap any of the goodness. maybe he never deserved to.]

We do not like to talk about Scarif. [UNDERSTATEMENT. he and jyn have barely mentioned it at all, and they've been here together for two months.] It was a success, in the end, and I am glad to know it galvanized an exhausted Alliance.

I do not mind speaking of the Rebellion with you. But I would prefer the details of Scarif be kept quiet. [not that he thinks rey would go blabbering about seeing his final moments on the planet, but he feels better having said it aloud.]

I wouldn't say anything, no. [That, she understood. She wouldn't go around telling everyone she met that she saw what happened to Cassian and to Jyn. That wasn't her story to tell. She wouldn't invade upon their privacy like that, or betray their trust. He didn't need to say it out loud, but she understands why. But she hopes he didn't tell anyone else what he saw either...

Not that she was ashamed of her past, but some memories were a bit more sensitive than others.]

Have you told Jyn about my memories?

[Just curious if he had. Jyn had already seen one of her memories, and if he relayed something else...well, then she'd know if she told one thing to one of them, the other would soon know.]

[he nods, and it's both a thank you and i believe you at once. who needs words!]

[cassian shakes his head, finding this part of the conversation easier because it's not about himself and the whole dying thing.]

No. She knows I saw something, but not any of the details.

[he and jyn do share virtually everything, but this is different. it's such a private matter. they'd just been venting about how frustrating the whole situation is for all the parties.]

[There's a nod of her head, grateful that as close as the two of them are, they don't share everything. Just like how close she and Finn were, she didn't tell him everything. Granted, they didn't have much time together, and when she last saw him he was recovering from a nasty wound...but she would tell him different things. But something like this? Something this deep and personal? Never.]

She saw a separate memory of mine.

[One of her being betrayed by the other scavengers who she thought were friends...]

Dunno if she told you about that or not. Seems like...[She has to let out a somewhat bitter or dry chuckle.] this place or the Force wants you two to know more about me than I've shared with anyone else.

[some secrets, like the privacy of memories, aren't meant to be shared, no matter how much he is compelled to be as open as he is with jyn. which is another whole matter he should figure out, but now is not the time.]

[he shakes his head a little.] She only mentioned she had seen one, but not what it was about. [a beat.] You believe the Force is sharing these parts of you with us?

[There's some relief in knowing the two of them don't discuss everything with one another. That they had enough respect for her to not mention what both of them have seen to each other.

As for the Force....]

It's the only thing I have to go on. How else would explain this? Magic?

[There's a slight scoff there, because magic could probably do a lot of things, but she doubts it's this.

Of course, she was also trying to hide the fact that she believed in the Force considering she did listen to it and used it in the past. But, no need to bring up those facts just yet.]

I am alive here, pulled from another galaxy. I am open to plenty of different explanations as to what's happening.

[he pauses.] I have never put much stock in the Force. Given we are in another universe, it has seemed especially distant.

[his parents were separatists. the empire has spent the last twenty years trampling on the force and the jedi, so while cassian knows it's all real, his belief and trust in it has always been more tenuous.]

( open ) we live, we die

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