riverviewlogs | ( open ) we live, we die

Entry tags:

( open ) we live, we die

who: cassian + you
what: another one for the memory sharing flood
when: mid october
where: dreams! or elsewhere in public spaces
warnings: spy things, death, murder, spoilers for rogue one, etc

( vision / flash ) i. the droid

[it's tanned hands, working on what looks like a very large robot: a black kx security droid, powered down. cassian tampers with the programming, fiddling with wires and hooking up the droid into his datapad. there's a brief reflection of his face in the black metal of the droid; he's younger, only a teenager, probably no older than fifteen with a prickly, patchy beard and less sallow eyes.]

[ten seconds pass, and he mutters something in fest to himself. then at last, he flicks the power back on. the droid's eyes light up, and he hobbles to his feet. it stands almost seven feet tall, and the angle suggests cassian is looking up from about a foot and a half lower.]

[i am k-2so. are you my reprogrammer?]

( vision / flash ) ii. the horizon

[there's a beach. the water is tinted with warm colors instead of blues, and out along the horizon is a giant sun. only it's not a sun at all, and there are puffs of air and explosions along the edges to prove it. the rest of the area around them is singing like a battlefield.]

[cassian walks weakly along the sand, upright only because of jyn beside him. his clothes are filthy and bloody as he looks down at them, his legs stumbling. as they reach the edge of the water, he collapses and she sets him down gently. he sinks into the sand, looking out at the very bright and damning fake sunset. each second that passes, it seems to grow closer. she reaches for his hand, and he looks down as he takes it.]

( dreamscape ) iii. the shot

[ visual. ]

[it's a very urban area, littered with people and voices and shops in all kinds of languages. cassian rushes through the streets, looking over his shoulder carefully. he moves like a shadow, breaking into a run when he finally ducks down an empty alleyway. there's a man waiting for him in a corner, his arm broken and pacing nervously about.

"news from jedha?" the man tells him about a defector imperial pilot who brings news about the empire building a weapon. a planetkiller. the message is from a man named galen erso. the conversation gets more frantic, nervous. "there's spies everywhere!" the man hisses.]

[the meeting is broken up by the arrival of stormtroopers. they ask for IDs. cassian jokes, laughs, plays it off, then shoots both troopers without hesitation. his informant starts to panic. "i'll never climb out of here with my arm!"

[cassian comes up behind him with a smile and a comforting voice. "calm down, we'll be all right."

[and then he shoots him. the body falls. cassian swallows, steadies himself against the murder, then leaps to climb up the wall's piping to escape.]

( dreamscape ) iv. the fall

[cassian is clinging to the edge of a data vault tower. above him is jyn, and even higher on the opposite wall, a door slides open. "jyn! he yells out, firing his blaster and initiating a quick round of firefight between a man in white and several stormtroopers.]

[one of the returning shots hits him, and his grip slips. he falls from the vault tower. his back slams into a metal beam, his arms briefly scramble for purchase on another, but he keeps falling, falling until he lands hard on a platform, his entire body limp and broken.]

[from above, there's an anxious quick yell of his name, "cassian!" but he doesn't move.]

( closed dreamscape ) v. the youth

[it's snowing outside. fest is a very cold planet, and even when you're small and aware of the dangers, the snow always has a level of adventure. twenty years ago, cassian was six years old. he's running through the snowy streets outside, scampering quickly as curfew approaches.]

[six year old cassian stomps back into the house, jumping on the floormat to shake the snow from his boots. there's a message sticking out of his pocket that he yells out is for his father, because even at six he's already running messages for the festian resistance. his mother comes over with a smile and helps him out of his coat, trading him a cup of something warm and steaming for his fluffy jacket. his father laughs in the kitchen, and cassian reaches for his mother's hand to pull her towards the sound.]

[he tells his mother excitedly about the other kids, how some of them were clonetroopers and they lost the big battle. his father beams down at him and ruffles his hair, but there is a fatigue to his eyes that the adult cassian shares. cassian just crawls into his lap and hands over the message, asking if he's allowed to read it too.]

[no, not this one. maybe next time. cassian shrugs it off, diving back immediately into his mug while his mother threatens to steal it for herself.]

[prose or brackets is fine; feel free to have a vision or a flash or both!]

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[They're back on this bullshit, huh?

Taako has been trying to cut down his sleep as much as possible, hoping it would help, but he still finds himself slipping into someone else's memories now and then. At least this one isn't his own.

He watches this dream Cassian make his way through the crowded street, moving like a rogue, and looks over to find the real one beside him.]

What're we in for, bubbale?

[He should start up a rating system.]

[all things considered, if there had to be a memory of a shitty thing cassian has done, this one isn't the worst! it's just one of the newest, which means the guilt is still fresh.]

[he frowns as he watches himself move through the streets, knowing what's coming. cassian spares a glance at taako.]

This is the Ring of Kafrene. Trading Post. I am meeting an informant.

[and it'd be really fucking SWELL if they could just wake up and leave before he does find the guy.]

Never heard of it, we must've skipped this one.

[They went to a lot of worlds, but he doesn't remember anything quite like this. There were worlds that were busy, but not crowded, like this feels.]

Seems like here are either real good or real shitty, and while normally I'd be hoping for the good kinda memory, I think I'm gonna have to vote for shitty. There's only a certain kinda good you get in alleys like this.

[Taako!!!!

(He's trying to lighten the mood)]

It's a planet. We don't have to have all the same ones.

[kafrene is very urban, but it's not even the most crowded planet out there. the streets thin out the closer cassian gets to tivik and his movements get faster, more urgent; it's strange to see it all happening again, the moments that lead to discovering the death star in the first place. so much for waking up sooner rather than later.]

[he recognizes this is taako's attempt at making things easier, but it kind falls flat for him.]

Shitty. [dryly:] Forgive me if I don't ruin the surprise.

You never know, I've met a couple thugs from Legato here.

[That was a singularly odd experience, and he'd lied through his teeth about what happened there, but he figures it's not too unlikely to get some crossover between realities, considering how many he's been to.

He's also not dumb enough to miss that Cassian is unhappy about the whole scene here, but there's not... really a whole lot he can do.]

If you're about to kick a puppy I'd like a warning, can't say I give a shit about anything else.

Legato is not a planet in my universe either.

[cassian takes a moment or two, pushing himself into a much more neutral posture, a calmer face. it's almost too still, but at least any sign of unhappiness is gone now! honestly he might even believe that taako won't give a shit about what's to come, but cassian still doesn't like his dirty laundry on display.] No animals.

[tivik appears, pacing nervously as the dream!cassian finally stumbles into the right alley. i came as fast as i could, is almost breezy. there's familiarity between them, tempered by urgency on both their ends. the information exchange quickly becomes clear; secretive, hurried, dangerous. talk about a planet called jedha.]

[blandly:] He's going to die. [that's the warning, he guesses.]

Edited 2017-10-21 05:15 (UTC)

Legato's a school, not a planet, it was on, um... you know what, I do not remember what the planet was called. Doesn't matter, I guess.

[His memory isn't the best, hasn't been since Lucretia stole a century and more from him, but it doesn't really bother him. Minor details are minor details, nothing that he'll really ever miss remembering.

As he watches Cassian talk with Tivik, he frowns a little, trying to work out what the problem here is, and he almost thinks he's got it when Cassian delivers the warning.]

Friend of yours?

[His thought is that this is a bad memory because someone Cassian likes is about to die, not because he's about to do a hit.]

[he hasn't heard of it either way, but it gives him something else to temporarily focus on.] A school for what?

[a pilot defector. talk about a planetkiller. the name galen erso floats by. a man named saw frequents the back and forth. spies, everywhere. the conversation is interrupted by two men in white armor, voices distorted. they ask what's going on and ask for scandocs.]

A contact.

[the dream cassian turns from urgent to airy in a matter of seconds, waving his hands. yeah of course, just, my gloves! he ducks around like he's about to pull out some documents, then quick as a whip he pulls out his blaster instead and shoots the two troopers dead. an alarm sounds in the distance.]

One of my informants from Jedha. [he tried to be kind to tivik when it suited the situation, but he would hesitate to call him a friend. even if tivik himself may have thought so.]

Edited 2017-10-22 18:40 (UTC)

I guess art, but like, their definition of art was pretty vague, I taught philosophy.

[Which, you know, shows how lax their standards are, or how high his roll was (it was the latter).

Taako watches the back and forth of the scene idly, frowning a little when the Stormtroopers appear, but Cassian handles them easily enough that Taako is a little bit impressed. The contact thing leaves him a little lost again, but he decides not to press it again, the answer will come eventually.]

What kinda gun was that? It looks kinda like the ones some of guards have.

[That's a safe topic, he figures.]

You were a teacher? [there is a very faint emphasis on the word you. not quite disbelief or surprise, but still a weird curiosity. what kind of school puts taako in charge of students??]

It's a blaster. They are usually set between stun or kill. [there's no question which one is his set on right now, with the stormtrooper bodies already ignored despite the alarms still in the distance.]

[in the dream, cassian starts to pace and analyze the alley for an escape, but tivik starts to panic, yelling at him about what he's done. are you crazy? i'll never climb out of here with my arm! cassian come up behind him, his voice very reassuring and comforting, and he even pats tivik on the shoulder.]

[calm down, calm down, he says with a smile. we'll be all right. and then he shoots him in the back.]

[the real cassian is very stiff and blank as tivik's body falls, having had the preparation for it, but watching the guilt flash over his dream self's face isn't helpful. shortly after, he leaps onto the wall of pipes and starts to climb his way out.]

Edited (whatever html) 2017-11-04 20:49 (UTC)

I know, right?

[It's amazing what you can do when you roll an eleven; but Taako doesn't seem too insulted by the unspoken implications there, because yeah he's not exactly suited to a school environment. But he - cared, about his students and he wanted them to be happy, even if it was a bit shallow because everything that has to do with other people is a bit shallow.

But he can pick up on the increasing tension in the dream and... oh, there it is. Taako casts a sideways glance at Cassian as the shot is fired, noticing the blank look on his face and he might not be great at like, caring about other people, but he's not stupid.]

Good call, he looks like he would've snitched in seconds.

[Taako is aware that Cassian doesn't need any kind of permission or absolution from him, but that's not why he said it. What he means is that he doesn't care, about this thing Cassian did. It doesn't change anything.]

[the only thing cassian ever really taught anyone was how to be a good spy. he largely created his own networks, recruited all sorts of people. some of that involved imparting advice and his expertise.]

[even though he hates the feeling of someone seeing this, cassian looks over at taako after it's over, because not knowing the other man's reaction would eat at him more. there's no sign of any nerves on his face, because even in a dream cassian is very good at keeping control of himself.]

[tivik was the first life lost in the quest to stop the death star, wasn't he?]

I know. [that's why he did it! but it's... a strange discomforting surprise to have taako's seal of approval, relativity speaking. he always assumes the worst. cassian doesn't have to offer any further explanations - taako literally doesn't care.] You get a sense of which informants are more strong willed than others after a while. [a beat.] He was not lying about the planetkiller, for the record.

[In all honesty, he's killed people for far less than something like this. He's not in any place to judge.]

Did you uh, win?

[He doesn't know what the right word is when it comes to something labelled a planetkiller, so win seems to cover it best.]

[it's such a tame death. there's been worse, there's been murder more justified. the most uncomfortable part is just taako being exposed to it without cassian deciding to share in the first place.]

I was pulled here before knowing the fate of the weapon. [casually skipping over the part where he died for now.] But I have since found out it was destroyed. [there's a pause. he doesn't literally gesture at tivik, but the gesture is in the words.] His information put that in motion.

I guess that sucks for him but - [a shrug] - seems like it was worth it. One life for a whole lot more.

[Taako has always been the pragmatist of the group, although it's easy when he doesn't know Tivik, doesn't care about him. If someone asked him to sacrifice a member of his family for the sake of the universe, he'd tell them to go fuck themselves.]

[it's the sort of logic cassian has used over and over again. it's the sort of logic he applies to his own death to temper any of his frustrations that the alliance did nothing.]

[but from what he has started to piece together about taako, both with the fight against the hunger and his own perspectives, there's little judgement he has towards anything.]

[it makes it a little easier for cassian to ask his question.] And if it has been many lives?

[Taako shrugs, and his answer comes easily.]

I'd kill every motherfucker on this moon myself it it was a choice between them and Lulu.

[He's not a good person to ask these questions, he's deeply selfish and he knows it.]

Morality is not a strength of mine.

[he is definitely not a good person to ask these questions, but it's not like cassian thinks himself a good person at all. morality isn't easy, it's not black and white.]

[weirdly, it makes it easier to expound further. not that taako needs it, or that cassian owes him an explanation.]

I have been combating an empire since I was a child. My own choices have not always been pristine either.

Sometimes there're no right choices.

[Those are words he's spoken to Lup before, they're some of the last words he spoke to Lup before he lost her for ten long and lonely years. Their whole lives have been about making choices they should never have had to make, and it's never as easy as right and wrong decisions.]

You do what you've gotta do to survive, there's no shame in that.

[he huffs out a laugh, but it's not really a laugh. a tired, understanding sigh, because he has no disagreement. it's a war, there are no good choices. cassian knows that. it doesn't stop him from feeling guilty about some of them.]

If you weren't so easy to read, you might make a good spy. [it's not entirely a compliment.]

[Taako's answering laugh is genuine, because - yeah]

I make a good mercenary, darling, same thing without having to do the tricky kinda lying.

[The lack of morals, being willing to do whatever's necessary, he's got that part down, but yeah, he's not cut out for undercover work.]

[cassian has known plenty of mercenaries. it suits taako, weirdly, but maybe not so weirdly.]

[his dream self finishes the climb up towards escape, and the edges of the dream seem to fade a bit. it's kind of a relief, even if things hadn't gone as bad as he assumed.]

I did not do it for compensation. I'm not sure I could have done it for so long if my only motivation was monetary. [there's only so many ways u can fuck yourself up for cash. for a cause, however...!]

I get it.

[Taako would call himself a mercenary and he'd be right, but he did believe in what the Bureau was doing, he thought there was something.... right, in trying to save the world, even if there were a lot of complicated other emotions tangled up in that.

But he's noticed the way the dream is faded, and he's done this enough times to know what it means.]

Hey, uh, if you wanna pretend this never happened that's cool. I'm good with these kinda secrets.

It's foolish to pretend it didn't happen. [as appealing as it is. he would rather know if taako ever had anything more to say rather than just overthink the need to know.]

These memories have been happening all over. I would just hope you would not share them with others.

[even jyn, who he tells virtually everything, hasn't gotten any of the content from dreams he's seen.]

[Taako immediately puts a hand on his chest, quick to offer the reassurance:]

Oh, fuck no, snitches get stitches.

[The only thing he's shared is a little vague detail about one of Cisco's dreams with Lup, the rest he's kept to himself.]

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evasives - 2017-11-23 07:01 (UTC) - Expand

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