[ It breaks Cisco's heart, the way that Eddie can't seem to look at him, but he doesn't insist on eye contact, turning over his hand instead so he can hold Eddie's, keeping it there, building an tether between the two of them, to anchor Eddie. His voice is quiet, full of affection and conviction as he says: ]
Listen to what you're saying. You would never ever say that to anyone else who was still... troubled by bad stuff from their past. If it was someone at the station, or a friend, or- or me. I have a fresh start here, too. But that doesn't erase the stuff that happened to me before.
[ Something that Eddie knows all too well. Cisco doesn't even need to specify the kind of stuff he's talking about. Eddie has seen, and heard, and felt at great length, the degree to which Cisco's trauma still matters, even though what caused it is not just in the past, but in the past in a timeline that was erased. But Eddie had never said it didn't matter - and, indeed, had never let Cisco get away with trying to de-legitimize it by saying that none of it actually happened in this timeline.
He doesn't even need to explain any of that out; he's sure Eddie will remember it, will know what he's talking about. The key is to get Eddie to see that the same applies to him. ]
Being 'like this' is okay. It's human. And I know you know that, 'cause you're a good detective, and a hell of a good boyfriend.
[ Now, finally, Cisco reaches over, touching Eddie's chin carefully to tip his head up, to coax him into eye contact so he can see all the fond sadness in Cisco's expression. He is not criticizing; he wants that to be clear, especially right now, when Eddie is in a very vulnerable state of mind. But what he's going to say needs to be said. ]
I just don't understand how you can have so much kindness for everybody but yourself. You've always been... really gentle with me. I just wish you could be gentle to you, too.
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[ It breaks Cisco's heart, the way that Eddie can't seem to look at him, but he doesn't insist on eye contact, turning over his hand instead so he can hold Eddie's, keeping it there, building an tether between the two of them, to anchor Eddie. His voice is quiet, full of affection and conviction as he says: ]
Listen to what you're saying. You would never ever say that to anyone else who was still... troubled by bad stuff from their past. If it was someone at the station, or a friend, or- or me. I have a fresh start here, too. But that doesn't erase the stuff that happened to me before.
[ Something that Eddie knows all too well. Cisco doesn't even need to specify the kind of stuff he's talking about. Eddie has seen, and heard, and felt at great length, the degree to which Cisco's trauma still matters, even though what caused it is not just in the past, but in the past in a timeline that was erased. But Eddie had never said it didn't matter - and, indeed, had never let Cisco get away with trying to de-legitimize it by saying that none of it actually happened in this timeline.
He doesn't even need to explain any of that out; he's sure Eddie will remember it, will know what he's talking about. The key is to get Eddie to see that the same applies to him. ]
Being 'like this' is okay. It's human. And I know you know that, 'cause you're a good detective, and a hell of a good boyfriend.
[ Now, finally, Cisco reaches over, touching Eddie's chin carefully to tip his head up, to coax him into eye contact so he can see all the fond sadness in Cisco's expression. He is not criticizing; he wants that to be clear, especially right now, when Eddie is in a very vulnerable state of mind. But what he's going to say needs to be said. ]
I just don't understand how you can have so much kindness for everybody but yourself. You've always been... really gentle with me. I just wish you could be gentle to you, too.