[ Cisco doesn't respond right away. For a moment, he is tempted to force a nod, even if it would be a bit of a lie. If Eddie's not bothered, then what's the problem? This isn't about Cisco, and the way he feels. It shouldn't be about him. And if it's easier for Eddie to brush it off, maybe Cisco should allow him that.
But he keeps hearing it in his ears, the way Eddie's breath had rattled a little as he picked himself back up, alone. Wiped the blood off his face, alone. Put himself back together again, alone.
Cisco gives a tiny, wordless shake of his head, eyes going a touch too bright with tears that he holds back. How can Eddie be so calm about this? But then, he realizes, maybe it shouldn't surprise him all that much. Eddie's used to putting on a good face. To making himself smile and pretend everything was alright, even when it wasn't. Maybe he'd had so much time to do that about the childhood bullying that he'd even convinced himself. But he's not convincing Cisco.
Swallowing, Cisco says: ]
Imagine- imagine if it was me. If right now you... closed your eyes and you saw me, as a- a cute little kid, just minding my own business, and then people started punching me and- and saying awful shit about my family and... and how I looked, or how I was too girly, or whatever. Eddie, how would you feel if you saw that? 'Cause that's how I feel. Right now.
[ Cisco knows, he's seen it over and over again, how much Eddie wants to protect him. How deep that need runs in him, through the very person that Eddie is. But he also knows that Eddie can forget, or doesn't quite yet fully understand or believe, that Cisco wants to protect him every bit as much. There's a ferocity in his voice as he says: ]
I wish- I wish I'd been there. I wish I could've helped you. Or tried, I mean, I was puny and I would've been like nine years old but I don't care. I just- I- nobody was there to help you, and I can't stand that.
no subject
But he keeps hearing it in his ears, the way Eddie's breath had rattled a little as he picked himself back up, alone. Wiped the blood off his face, alone. Put himself back together again, alone.
Cisco gives a tiny, wordless shake of his head, eyes going a touch too bright with tears that he holds back. How can Eddie be so calm about this? But then, he realizes, maybe it shouldn't surprise him all that much. Eddie's used to putting on a good face. To making himself smile and pretend everything was alright, even when it wasn't. Maybe he'd had so much time to do that about the childhood bullying that he'd even convinced himself. But he's not convincing Cisco.
Swallowing, Cisco says: ]
Imagine- imagine if it was me. If right now you... closed your eyes and you saw me, as a- a cute little kid, just minding my own business, and then people started punching me and- and saying awful shit about my family and... and how I looked, or how I was too girly, or whatever. Eddie, how would you feel if you saw that? 'Cause that's how I feel. Right now.
[ Cisco knows, he's seen it over and over again, how much Eddie wants to protect him. How deep that need runs in him, through the very person that Eddie is. But he also knows that Eddie can forget, or doesn't quite yet fully understand or believe, that Cisco wants to protect him every bit as much. There's a ferocity in his voice as he says: ]
I wish- I wish I'd been there. I wish I could've helped you. Or tried, I mean, I was puny and I would've been like nine years old but I don't care. I just- I- nobody was there to help you, and I can't stand that.