riverviewlogs | April Catch-All

Entry tags:

April Catch-All

who: Gladio and ~~a lot of scrawny dudes~~ YOU
what: Two missions, and a whole lot of ~~bad decisions~~ social interactions
when: April catch-all means... all of April!
where: Various
warnings: Warnings will be in subject lines!

Mission: Brownout (closed to Reaper, Sans, McCree, Gladio)

Mission: How to Train Your... (closed to Gladio, Sans, Gooeygetsu, Eichi, Sasuke, McCree)

I Never (closed to mission-goers; tag in with your I, Never and threadjack away!)

Training Sessions (OTA who wants to play out survival, weapons training, etc)

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[ At that he casts a look back to the camp, visibly thinking it over. ]

... I'll stay up. [ Well, that's decided. ] I don't know what all of them can do yet.

They don't look all that intimidating, but I guess you're right.

(while fairly sure they won't have a problem, suigetsu's motioning to a nearby rock, flat enough on the top to make a decent perch on the lake.)

You can stay here, if you wanna. (like he owns the lake, IT'S NOT YOURS SUIGETSU.)

[ It would make him feel more at ease to stay near Suigetsu even if he suspects that his former teammate is the one with the greatest chance of being able to harm him. Even now, two years later... well, he trusts him.

Already he's turning, footsteps carrying him over to that indicated spot to look it over. ]

... it still offers a good view of them. Might be a good idea.

I'm not really tired, either. I might try to sleep in a bit.

(a pause, watching him.)

This is familiar, huh? It's like we're on another mission together.

[ He has his doubts about the first comment but doesn't voice them, merely making plans under the assumption that Suigetsu will quietly pass out far earlier than he means to, surrounded by new water-bound friends. ]

I suppose.

... it doesn't really feel like it's been two years.

I know. Feels like it's been ten.

(that's definitely not. where sasuke was going with that, but he can't read moods to save his life and — it really has felt like ten fucking years.)

You've been on the go, Karin says you're afraid of going back 'cause you'd be endangering the village.

[ Finally he bends his knees, taking a heavy seat on that rock with a heavier, alcohol-breathed sigh. ]

That's blunt. [ In a deeper tone as he settles. ] Is that what you think too?

Would you rather I beat around the bush? ... I guess I don't have to tell you what we think about it.

(a sigh, relenting but rolling with the question. "blunt" and "honest" blur for him like they do for sasuke.)

Me and Karin have different opinions on everything, so why would we start agreeing on this of all things? ... I just figure they're sending you on a ton of missions for their own sake, like always. Kills two birds with one stone, protecting the village and figuring out what to do with you while you're gone, doesn't it? I still don't know why you wanna go back and work for those assholes, since the only one who matters there now is that Naruto guy.

(that's it, really, quieting down for a brief pause.

maybe it's a bit harsh, but — maybe he's a bit irritated.)

If your goal's still reforming the place like it was during the war, don't you have to return already? No, 'cause you're being held at arm's length, obviously. Change doesn't happen so quickly, definitely not in two years, and definitely not for those people.

[ The words weigh on an already unsteady mind, head heavy and tilting back as he lies flat against that rock. His hand rests against his stomach, one knee bent and the other leg outstretched as he stares up at stars he doesn't recognize; no matter where he's traveled the sky has always stayed the same. What a strange thing to feel nostalgic over. ]

It isn't that simple. [ The easy reply that means absolutely nothing, one that makes him want to sigh at himself. He's too drunk for this, he knows that. Suigetsu's words are finding a home with similar thoughts in the back of his own mind and that alone is dangerous. ]

... there isn't a better option for me. They're not going to be able to rebuild themselves if I'm there; I'm still a relic of a bad history for those that know my reasons, and for those who don't I'm an aimless criminal they blame their leader for freeing. I'm more useful if I'm away.

(finally crouching to stare down into the water, before deciding to sink back into it, letting it envelope him to the shoulders. like this, he can drift carelessly and without worry, sasuke easing a mind tense with wariness where the others at camp are concerned.

the alcohol would've been flushed from his system, but he kind of likes the way a certain amount can numb his nose and make his body heavy; relaxed.)

That sounds like a lot of excuses, Sasuke.

[ It's almost enough to make him want to close his eyes... but not yet. Sure, the topic is a difficult one, but not one he expects to remain unaddressed forever. Maybe that's what inspires his next words. ]

Is that really what you want to say when you're back with Orochimaru?

(pauses in his shift, the name causing him to sink down to his jaw, but...)

That's why I can say it. (simply, betraying how difficult the situation really is.) There's a couple other options, but in the end we settled. At least I'm not the one fooling myself, this time.

[ It causes him to turn his head, dark eyes fixated on his... friend? Is that what they are? ]

... it isn't the same, not with what he did to us. I'm living for the future of others in Konoha, not for myself. What are you trying to accomplish?

(he tries to get angry, but all he can feel is listless under the influence of a night's worth of alcohol. what is he trying to accomplish?

did he think that after losing track of the swords, he'd bide his time with orochimaru for a while and use his expansive information network to find them, or at least figure out what happened to them all? that after the war and sasuke's disappearance, it seemed like the less dangerous thing to do despite knowing what that'd mean for him later? that he didn't realize how heavily he was depending on the others and their company?

that's not it. the pressure on his chest makes him want to turn away to try and breathe through it.)

I don't know. Everyone left and I didn't want to be alone anymore.

(a regretful pause, suigetsu feeling a great deal of shame he doesn't know what to do with. so it gets internalized, like everything else. he smiles when he doesn't want to and continues the slow, slow drift, wondering if that's what he's been unconsciously doing his entire life.)

I'm just trying not to die, for some reason.

[ The words are given the weighty silence they deserve as Sasuke looks over at a mirrored profile half-sunken into the clear surface of the otherwise still lake, suddenly feeling very aware of their segregation from the rest of the group... and in so many ways.

What Suigetsu describes is a full-time job all on its own for people like them, waking up each day to secure safety and possibly to climb one rung higher on a ladder that keeps them from sinking down onto the growing pile of corpses the ninja world seems to demand. And for what? He remembers that purposeless feeling he'd been racked with after Itachi's death. Suigetsu's had it for years. ]

"Some reason"... huh. If you're still alive, then in your heart there's something. Otherwise you'd go to where your brother is. [ Just like Sasuke wanted to. ]

... do you feel relieved, being here?

(he wants to describe the feeling, but can't. his heart's already gone to where mangetsu is and what's leftover is a shell of a body that won't fucking die.

if someone understands it, though, out of everyone else who possibly could, it's sasuke. in their silence they can take comfort in the fact that the other is suffering quietly, too; misery always did love company. that doesn't make him think any better of himself, immediately considering the emotions weak in a knee-jerk reaction that'd literally been beaten into him. "relieved" is a strange word to choose for the moment, but it does at least serve to pull suigetsu out of his slow sink and the urge to spread himself out too thin beneath the water's surface.

there's a sniff of amusement, making the water ripple.)

It's better in every way, isn't it? No one from the hideouts are here, all of the locals are happy, the food is great, my job is something I like. (a "however" hangs in the air until suigetsu decides to voice the opinion.) No matter where you go, though, problems catch up eventually. It's all still the same, we're just looking at different things and being judged by different people.

So do you feel relieved?

[ This is as much as they've ever bothered to share with one another aloud and he wonders if the alcohol is to blame... or, as he instead believes, that it's the natural "us against them" mindset slowly sinking in. There's no one else here that he trusts, but Suigetsu? Suigetsu has saved his life. ]

... no. I don't feel anything. [ This is just one more chapter for him, not yet a new book. All he can focus on is finding a way back to that new isolated existence he's cultivated. ]

You're right, just being here won't change us or what we've seen.

(a nearby rock's claimed as an armrest, folding them over it. it's a quiet moment they're sharing and even suigetsu can be respectful of the mood, if only a little, propping his chin up on a forearm, letting the night air cool a water-beaded back.)

Can we stick together, for now, then?

[ Where his mind would want to complicate the issue even further and lose itself to self-reflection for the rest of the night, Suigetsu brings it back down to a nice easy question. Simple. ]

Aa. [ It doesn't require much thought. ]

That's what's best... for both of us.

(a look to the side, eyelids low. it's easy to keep the smile off of his face, but he feels it inwardly.)

I think so, too.

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April Catch-All

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