April Catch-All

[leatherdaddy]

who: Gladio and a lot of scrawny dudes YOU
what: Two missions, and a whole lot of bad decisions social interactions
when: April catch-all means... all of April!
where: Various
warnings: Warnings will be in subject lines!




Mission: Brownout (closed to Reaper, Sans, McCree, Gladio)

Mission: How to Train Your... (closed to Gladio, Sans, Gooeygetsu, Eichi, Sasuke, McCree)

I Never (closed to mission-goers; tag in with your I, Never and threadjack away!)
 
Training Sessions (OTA who wants to play out survival, weapons training, etc)

Comments

[finethanks]

[ Eichi actually claps a little with a chuckle. ]

Wow, Sasuke, that's so cruel. I can completely believe it but I'm still shocked~. [ That makes no sense. ] By the way, this doesn't count for humans, right?

[liquidate]

No way, of course it doesn't. (flippantly, completely missing the point.

and elaborating on his own...)

Humans don't really matter, in the grand scheme of things, Eichi-kun.

[finethanks]

Fufu, when you say poetic sounding simple things like that, you almost sound intelligent, Suigetsu. I'm impressed.

[liquidate]

...

(oh, he's being insulted. it took him a moment.)

You think I'm stupid?! Let's compare brain sizes, then, 'cause yours is probably all shrivelled up from the lack of oxygen. Not to be rude or anything, that's just how those things work, so I'm just really happy you've even got such an overbearing personality!

[bone_idle]

Hate to interrupt, but our first play of the night was weirdly specific, don'tcha think?

[ He's wadding up his hoodie to shove it between himself and someone's bedroll, stacked up by the cooler, getting ready to settle in. ]

Makes a guy wonder if you were a complicit accessory, y'know?

[liquidate]

Huh?

(looking over at sans with a tilt to his head, eyebrows high.)

I'd never hurt an animal. That'd just be needlessly cruel, y'know? They don't deserve that.

[bone_idle]

[ He leans there, steadily watching Suigetsu for a lengthy period of silence until--

He shrugs. Yep, he just shrugs. ]

Hey, take it easy. Just makin' conversation.

[ That is complete bullshit. ]

[liquidate]

Well, don't you think?

(motions to sans with his drink, crossing an ankle over a knee.)

Animals don't have the same brains, so they can't make the same choices. They're just following the natural order of things, the way they're supposed to. Like, food chains and stuff!

[bone_idle]

Sure, but uh...

Eh, you probably don't wanna hear this from a skeleton.

[liquidate]

...

Why not?

[bone_idle]

[ He's going to resist jumping to the conclusion that maybe this guy doesn't look at him and immediately assume he's dead. Or... Un-dead, as the case may be.

Not really enough to go off with. ]

What, exactly, makes a person and an animal unequal? Just the way they think?

[liquidate]

(oh, he definitely thinks sans is one or both, but it's not the weirdest thing he's seen before. creepy, definitely, but not the weirdest. that's a title reserved for orochimaru, in all of his eccentricities and insanities. sans is just a cool sack of bones with a personality and a soul and a comfortable fashion sense he's getting jealous of.)

Yeah, the way they think. Animals can't communicate to the same level we can and they don't have debates about their morality.

(kermitnod)

The fact that they're better than humans to begin with still stands. Don'tcha think? Humans are pretty shitty most days, so talking to a cat or a dog or even a fish would be way better. That's what I think.

[bone_idle]

[ Suigetsu's got him pegged, but only as far as a soul and his fashion sense goes (or lack thereof). There's a reason he's called Smiley Trashbag, but. Eh.

Story for, never? Never. ]

So what about the humans with no morals to debate?

[ Communication? That's too easy to punch holes into, or, as some would say, it's low hanging fruit. ]

Guess you're entitled to your opinion.

[ Here's the real kicker, as he points a thumb over his shoulder -- granted, that aims at the cooler he's leaning against, but he means beyond their cozy campsite. ]

What about those guys out beyond the perimeter fence? The 'monsters'?

[liquidate]

There's a difference between amoral and immoral. Animals don't have morals. Humans do, know it's "wrong", and choose to go for it anyway.

(actually sounds smart for two seconds.)

As for monsters... They can't hurt me anyway, so I'm not that concerned with fighting them.

[bone_idle]

[ He'd call that a 'unique' perspective... if he weren't Sans. Nah, to him, it's looking more and more like Suigetsu's supposed to be the 'bad guy', except he ain't all that good at that whole 'evil' thing.

Just kinda lukewarm bad? Bad Lite.

He can't tell what's funnier, this or the fact he's stuck with him in the Quarantine. With that disarming naivete and silly sense of humor, he could be dangerously underestimated, too. ]

So, are they people, or animals? Or do you only recognize 'em if they pose a threat?

[liquidate]

Oh, I dunno. I haven't run into any yet, so making a decision about that kinda thing wouldn't be too good.

(a smile, wide and toothy.)

What do you think about them, Sans?

[bone_idle]

Me? I dunno if I should say. I mean, it probably sounds pretty biased, a monster talkin' about other monsters.

[ He smiles.

Oh wait, no, that's just how his face always is. ]

What? Didja really think I was a human skeleton? C'mon.

[liquidate]

You're a monster? I thought you were more like a squat midget skeleton.

(faux-pas count: 84)

I bet you're not gonna like your buddies out there... Welcome to being human.

(flapping a hand, reclining.)

[bone_idle]

[ Listen, it's not really a faux-pas when Sans can't help but agree. ]

Well. [ A beat. ] You're not wrong.

[ This, said with a lazy shrug. He ain't even mad, even by monster standards -- and boy, do they come in a crazy disparity of shapes and sizes -- he knows he's, uh, unattractive. It works for him. ]

Monsters fight each other all the time. [ Granted, these ones fight differently than, say, a couple of monsters back home might, using their magic to form bullet patterns that express how they feel in an encounter meant to understand each other better, or themselves. These ones?

Heh heh, it's weird, but from the little he's seen, there doesn't seem to be any recognizable similarities between himself and them. The question here is how THESE guys view anything that isn't sufficiently 'human'. ]

Tell ya what, though: that doesn't make me human.

[liquidate]

Uh, no. Obviously not, you're a skeleton. (points at... all of him.)

Now that you mention it, it's kinda creepy to talk to a skeleton. How can you see out your head?

(annnnd we're back to being a dumb-ass.)

Since teeth are sorta bones and yours are as white as your skull, does that mean you brush your whole body with toothpaste?!

[bone_idle]

[ Now, Sans? Sans's laughs are usually wheezy chuckles.

This, though, is brief, high, and a little ridiculous. Oh man, Suigetsu, as disconcerting as you and, uh, all that LOVE is, you can be charmingly hilarious. Something about that almost naive, brutal honesty is endearing. Like a monster kid gone a little feral. ]

Ulna't deceive ya, pal -- tibia'nest, it's calcium that's better for bones, even magical ones like mine.

[ Ok, so not... precisely true, but milk is still good. Don't ask why, the answer's just 'magic'. ]

But sure. Anything to avoid a visit to the dentist. Just don't tell 'em I said so, though, they've got fillings, too.

[liquidate]

(so many puns at once, suigetsu has to strain his dumb ass to understand them, finally dropping a fist into an open hand.)

I see!

...

So you must drink a lot of milk, then.

[bone_idle]

Me? Heh heh, it's my brother who's the health nut. Takes a lotta work being so great.

I'm more of a ketchup kinda guy.

[ Fortunately, it seems Sans is accustomed to his jokes going over people's heads. In the short time he's been here, he's clued in real fast that a lotta the wordplay people understand in his own world don't necessarily work with people who, uh, aren't from the same culture. Or the same planet. Or are from the same planet but from another timeline.

Oddly enough, it's THAT he understands more readily. ]

Eh. 'Nuff about me--

[ And one thing he has picked up is that Suigetsu's attention span can be pretty short. And the longer he keeps him engaged, the less likely he's going to start butting heads or glaring daggers at Eichi. Not that it's any of his business, but Sans would rather not have a side of murder with his camping trip. ]

--how about you? Everyone's gotta favorite food. Let's have yours, pal.

[liquidate]

(sans has that right. his attention span is the main reason why so many people back home have long lives left, having been circumvented by sasuke. suigetsu seems perfectly content to stray away from any topic that may be annoying to listen to —
and "do not kill" happens to be one of those.)

I don't know how ketchup tastes, but I love anything soft most of all!

(his expression shifts drastically, a peaceable smile coming to him.)

Yogurt, pudding, jello... Those are the best. I like soup and stew and stuff, too...!

[bone_idle]

[ There's a funny thing that happens to those points of light in each empty eye socket when he's interested or amused or otherwise engaged in a conversation; they get a little bit brighter. ]

Wow. Really?

[ He doesn't know what ketchup tastes like?

Sans has a partially-emptied squeeze bottle of the stuff on him, and he actually gives some consideration to illuminating the guy. Expand his culinary world a little. But... eh, seems weird. It's one thing to suggest it if they're eating, but outta the blue? Nah. ]

You're in luck, it's about as soft as they come. We'll getcha a taste sometime.