So what if you can see the darkest side of me..

[hititwithacrowbar]

who: Jason Todd
what: October Catch All & Memeshare
when: 9th-22nd
where: All around.
warnings: This post will be full of triggery things as Jason's life has been a horror show. A quick overview, child abuse, drug use/overdose, under-aged smoking, child death, buried alive, and murder, illusions to drowning. Angst, buckets of angst. Anything else will be updated.
Note: Unless otherwise stated or plotted, each person who tags in will get a new memory. Feel free to poke me at opticon Dreamscape's can and likely will get more than one memory. Some memories will not only have text, but also pictures in which they were pulled from.



A: Mom checked out (Drug use and violence implied)
It looked like a abandoned room. No power, a dirty wooden floor, bare wooden walls and a mattress on the floor surrounded by candles. The most beautiful thing in the room was the woman laid on the mattress. A bandage on her arm. Her red lock's dyed black. He hated when she dyed her hair, but what she does when he's out he can't stop, out of everything she does with her life a bit of dye was the least bad.

"You see, Mom... I hurt someone today. I was getting us food." He spoke to the unconcious woman as he held her hand. She was the full focus of his attention. Guilt laced his voice. "I know you're not hungry much right now, but you need to eat something. Some guy came out of the alley. He tried to take it from me. From you. From us. I just got so angry, I couldn't think. I started hitting him over and over. When I caught my breath I saw blood on my hands. I let him run away... I mean, I think he's fine...but I didn't mean to do that. I didn't want to..." He rambles before tears start streaking his face falling from his eyes.

He knows she's not listening and he feels helpless. Nothing he does is helping her. "I wish you would stop taking that stuff. I wish you could hear me... I miss you." She wasn't going to answer...

[ Image]

B-Meeting the Bat

It was like any night, for Jason anyway, moving quietly through the streets of Crime Alley. People left him alone for the most part. Which in return got him left alone, again for the most part. Taking a turn down one of the desolate alleyways when he saw it. The Batmobile in all of it's glory. Well, why not. He thought as he moved forward with his tire iron. The big bad Bat's car didn't look like it was that protected. So he kneeled and got to work.

Once he had one tire off he heard someone clear their throat. Looking up his eyes went wide. "You do realize thats the Batmobile, right?" The voice spoke Batman was bigger than life. But he didn't run, no he did what he did best. He smarted off.

"Duh, you do realize you parked your car in Crime Alley, right?" Batman moved forward towards him and Jason swung out at him with the tire iron, he really didn't want to go to Gotham Lockup with his old man. The man dressed as a bat caught the Iron like it was nothing

"You wanna beat up on a kid, go enlist in the GCPD like every other bully in this city." He hissed at the man, who was now lifting him like he weighed nothing. That deep voice spoke again.

"I'm only going to ask you this once. So give some serious thought to your answer." Then he smirked, when Jason spat out a quick reply of 'what?'. "Are you hungry?"

---
Now sitting on the hood of the Batmobile Jason was scarffing down a burger and fries. It was like heaven at the moment.

"Slow down, Jason, You're going to lose a finger."
"Sorry" munch munch "This is the closest thing I've had to a home-cooked meal I've had since..." chomp "... I had a home."

He looks up realizing where the hillside their parked at is. "Funny, I was here once. Looking for Wayne Manor. Trying to case the place but I got lost."

The Batman looks his way. "Why do you think its okay to steal from other people?"

"You kidding me? Look at this view. Freaking "billionaire playboy" think's he's king of the world. Pfft." Jason grumbles as he eats.

"Sometimes you have to give people a chance, Jason. They'll usually surprise you." The bat spoke before silence swept over them and both ate quietly.

C: Dig Lazurus Dig (Buried alive, illuisions to drowning, and pain)

Darkness, darkness all around. It was hot and stuffy this much was clear as Jason opened his eyes to the purest blackness. Trying to sit up he knocked his head into wood before realization sank in. "BRUCE!" panic building in his chest, he knew exactly where he was. It was a coffin. "BRUCE!" His hands moved looking for anything, ANYTHING. His belt buckle was all he could find, Forcing himself to calm down. Instinct taking over, if he panicked he would run out of air.

The belt buckle was used to tear the silk and hit the fine wood above. It took what felt like forever his nails long ripped off as he dug himself up, forcing himself to breath slowly. His hand shot up through the dirt, he was lucky Gotham was always so rainy.

He pulled himself up out of the dirt taking deep breaths now, nothing seemed focus anymore. A few steps and down he went....


His eyes opened again, green liquid obscuring his view. For a moment he sees a beautiful woman above the water, her eyes wide... was that fear? What was happening? Then the pain rushed through like fire.

It burned, and yet he felt like he was drowning and couldn't escape. Her and reached down and pulled him up. "Come now." She spoke quickly. He knew her.

"Talia."

"Yes, your story is not yet over, Jason." She spoke in that beautiful middle eastern accent of hers. Next they were running, he had so many questions.

"Whats happening!" He called to her as they reached a cliff-side and she shoved a duffle bag in his hands. "You are unavenged! Do not go back to him, learn before you react." She spoke quickly, dragging him up and kissing him fully on the lips before shoving him off the cliff. Him and the bag falling as she turned and ran the other way. Jason watched the world spin around him....

Comments

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ Oh, Jason's laughing more.]

Shit, kid, are you really Supes son? Tell you a secret, I have one of the tires back in my place back in Gotham, I doubt he even knows.

[ It's Batman, he knows. Hell, Alfred probably sent it to Jason.]

[supersweet]

[ There's a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes before it smooths over. It's not as though Jon doubts his father, but at times, he still doubts his place. He has no Kryptonian name, no history. The Eradicator's voice runs through his head, speaking of his weakness, his human half. ]

He probably loses them every week anyway. My dad says he gets hit on the head every night.

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ He can't help a grin trying to picture Superman saying that, he wishes he got on better with the Man of Steel like he did in his youth, but he dug that grave himself by crossing the line many many times.]

I can pretty much say he doesn't, mostly because I've seen the system the car has. It's got multiple alarms and self defense settings. But, your dad isn't wrong, he gets hit a lot, but so do I, and I'm fine.

[ Besides his mental health and post-death issues anyway.]

[supersweet]

Maybe you just need helmets.

[ Says the super brat. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

I have a helmet, kid. I am actively aiming to avoid more brain damage.

[supersweet]

[ He nods slowly. ]

Was it worth it? Meeting Batman?

[hititwithacrowbar]

Well, that's a loaded question.

[ He speaks before taking a moment to put his words and thoughts in order.]

Yeah, I guess it was. I wouldn't be who I am now without him.

[supersweet]

[ Jon nods slowly. ]

As far as memory-dream-thingies go, this is pretty good. Better than some of mine.

[hititwithacrowbar]

I don't know, I feel like it's all pretty personal. I don't like sharing my memories with other people, though, I am thankful of all you could have seen this was it. This was a good memory.

You have bad ones? [ Poor kid, he was nice and he hated the idea of kids having to hurt.]

[supersweet]

[ Jon looks away. ]

A guy named Manchester Black set my home on fire. And he made me watch all of it. I saw — I saw terrible things.

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ There was a name filed away to remember when he got home. If Damian hadn't handled that already. He wasn't sure the boy's placement in time, but he also didn't know that Damian was gone from this world yet either.]

God, I'm sorry you had to see that. Did... was anything done about it?

[supersweet]

We stopped him but . . . it was pretty awful.

[ Jon falls silent for a few minutes. ]

He made me awful.

[hititwithacrowbar]

How did he make you awful? You seem very kind to me.

[ Jason spoke, but worried, what had been done to the poor kid? Like before the images of his mind started to flicker, but nothing of interest, just moments of being Robin and swinging next to the Bat. A minds theater after all.]

[supersweet]

He got into my head. Made me . . . [ Jon trails off, hunching his shoulders. ] It's complicated.

[hititwithacrowbar]

Jon, have you talked to anyone about this? Like someone who could help? Your a good kid, you can't let people get to you like that. People will listen if you talk about it.

[ He was such a hypocrite.]

[supersweet]

I told my dad and a bunch of other people.

[ Many who have left now. Jon's inner circle is dwindling and he tries not to panic about it. ]

But it doesn't make it go away.

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ A rare look of sympathy crosses Jason's feature's as he kneel's down, one arm draped over one of his knees as he looked at the young son of Superman. ]

Nothing will ever make it go away, Jon, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that. I do understand though, I've had a villain get in my head before. You doubt everything, question things you never would before. That, that doesn't go away, kid. I'm sorry, the truth is you have to learn to be stronger than the scars left behind.

[supersweet]

Being strong is why they wanted me in the first place.

[ A replacement, malleable Superman. One who could do the things his father would never do. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

I don't mean physically strong.

[ He's so bad at this, but, he feels like it's to important to just walk away from.]

I mean strong inside. Feelings and stuff, to not let the pain be more than anything else your feeling. Do you understand?

[supersweet]

[ Jon nods slowly. ]

I get it, but it's just — [ He ducks his head. ] — Never mind.

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ Jason didn't move to stand, only moved a hand over to place it on Jon's shoulder.]

No, no, go on. Say what you were going to say.

[supersweet]

[ Jon hesitates before speaking tentatively. ]

I just don't know if it's a good idea for me to be strong. It just keeps me alone.

[hititwithacrowbar]

If you aren't strong then he wins. Besides, your not alone, Jon. You have friends here.

[supersweet]

My friends keep leaving! My dad left!

[ But Jon rears back the minute he snaps, feeling hot and ashamed. ]

Sorry. Sorry, I just — I don't know anymore. Being strong doesn't feel good anymore.

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ Jason felt a painful pull in his chest at that. He couldn't keep the look of sympathy from crossing his face.]

I wish there was something I could say to help, but we both know there's not. I know it doesn't feel good to be alone. Have you talked to Dick or Damian?