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who: Undertaker, Ciel, whoever!
what: Memory swaps!
when: Oct 9 - 23
where: Undertaker and Ciel’s apartment, various locations around the city as needed
warnings: Sadness and possible gore and Undertaker being an adorable idjit

For Ciel

Dreams these days are random for him, born out of the weirdness that goes on in his head and in his daily doings in the city and often combining to make something too far out of reality to confuse him into thinking that he might be awake and doing something out of the ordinary, as some dreams are wont to do. But sometimes, they’re quite the opposite. Sometimes, they’re terrible and fill him with the kind of horror that his customers - living or dead - might have experienced shortly before they found their way into his funeral parlor back home.

This one is much like that, for wholly different reasons. For instance, the face looking back at him as he stares into the mirror, adjusting a tie over a suit that he hasn’t worn nor seen in decades, is one he recognizes and does not. Clear of the scars he now carries, eyes visible and a startling blue, hair shorter and decidedly more blonde than gray, it’s a face he hasn’t seen in well over a century.

Somewhere behind the scene, watching it from his current body in resigned unhappiness, he goes tense as a familiar voice calls to him in the memory.

”Ah, there you are, Cedric! We’re waiting for you!”

The view turns as the man in the mirror looks away from his reflection. From an open doorway, another man stands, smiling, clearly excited. This man is younger, with dark eyes and hair of the same yellow cropped close to his head in an almost military cut. He wears a darker suit and looks quite sharp as he shakes his head. Then a look of shy nervousness briefly darkens his features.

”I was starting to think you’d changed your mind.”

The laugh that comes from the man in the memory is not Undertaker’s own, and it is all at the same time. He approaches the younger and puts a hand on his shoulder. The nails are flesh colored and short and the scar on his pinky finger absent like the rest.

”Oh, Thomas, you know I wouldn’t do that to you. I’ll be out in a moment. I just want to…”

Undertaker turns away, unable to watch anything more, and it’s then that he realizes he isn’t alone in this. Away and to the side stands Ciel.

It isn’t the first time that he finds himself glad for the hair hiding his eyes, but now it’s for a whole new reason.

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He was awake. If he hadn't been, Ciel might have actually tried going back to sleep, using Undertaker's steady breaths to lull him back to sleep. It wasn't an option though, so the teen leaned up, eyes moving towards Undertaker's voice.

"I'm not sure I can go back to sleep. I had too strange a dream..."

The water could wait. That they'd both had strange dreams on the same night and been awake around the same time had his interest. He sat up fully and lifted a knee to rest an arm across it. "Did you? I did as well. I think we've spent too much time around each other, milord."

Ciel followed suit, sitting upright and on his legs, and made a little face. Tiny huff included but then he smiled.

"If that were all it took for me to have strange dreams then this wouldn't have been the first." Especially since he'd spent the last month frequently curling up beside him at night, had openly started telling jokes without needing to be asked.

"You were there though, and I couldn't recognize anything about where we were."

He tilted his head at that look and felt his braid slip to the side with the motion. "Indeed it wouldn't. I'd think that I would be in the same boat, but I haven't had dreams in some time, this being the exception."

Something in his chest flinched when the boy mentioned the happenings in his own dream, and he took it with as much humor as his waking self could manage. "You were in mine as well. It seems like we were wandering in a fog." Conveniently left out was the memory that had been drifting around them, nothing that needed to be mentioned. They had been spending too much time with each other, he thought without any seriousness.

He could remember fog. 'Thick as the worst fogs in London-' he could still hear. And he tried to bring back more details, the room and it's size, a mirror, the man.

"There was another man in the dream. Two of them." Ciel let a little frown form. "I didn't recognize them though. Cedric and Thomas. I don't think I've ever remembered a dream so clearly."

All at once his blood seemed to run cold. Of course the dream had seemed too strange to be anything of a coincidence, but that the boy had had the same dream he had - those names, there was no way that could be random happenstance - had him startled thoroughly and shaken. The look on his face said as much well before he could recover and hide under his veil of hair again.

"One of them was looking in a mirror, wasn't he? They met in a room, then went out to a wedding."

"Yes, he was."

Ciel stared for a moment, surprised at the reaction. How much ever actually disturbed Undertaker of all people? Eventually, he reached out to touch his hand, trying to offer the same reassurance Undertaker always gave him.

He wasn't entirely sure about the wedding but then, they had been dressing fairly well. And there had been something of a celebratory air to everything.

"I suppose they did, yes. You... know..?"

For several moments, he didn't move or speak. All along his spine and up to the top of his head he felt his skin prickling. Never had he felt so exposed, so much of him in so short a time laid bare. But, he reasoned with himself, Ciel had been through far worse. This really should have been a minor thing for him, and yet it cut so deep.

He wanted to remain mum on the dream's contents from there. All the Earl had were names and faces, so far. It would have been easy to chalk it all up to randomness and fantasy, but here he knew so much about the boy. This couldn't hurt him.

He sighed, the breath in it taking its time in leaving him. How they'd managed to have the same dream, on the same night, with each other in it while they watched a memory that the boy could not have possibly know was beyond him, but he intended to look fully into it later. "I know it well. Cedric was my name long ago. Thomas was my younger brother."

And it was Ciel's turn to freeze, realizing he now probably knew far more than anyone in his family had ever really known about him. Or at least his parents and brother, his aunt and uncle.

He tried to connect the face of Cedric to Undertaker now and, he could see the similarities. It was hard to imagine Undertaker with gold hair, or hair any shorter than it was now. The resemblance was there. And yet-

"You don't look like a Cedric." Was blurted out before he could stop himself, the teen slapping his hands over his mouth a second later.

The silence seemed to stretch while the Earl let that soak in, and he waited for it to click. The comment pulled a grin from him again, relieving some of his tension in just that tiny act. He tilted his head in Ciel's direction again, bemused by his reaction. Sure, he'd jump on that little distraction if he could. If anything, it would loosen the heaviness in the air.

"No? What do I look like to you, then, if not that? And don't say Undertaker."

"That's not fair, that's all I've ever called you." A little pout and he tried thinking about names that would have fit him. Nothing quite came to mind though. And it was still difficult to connect Cedric and Undertaker as the same person. They just seemed too different, personality-wise.

"I don't know... I can't think of anything else quite right for you."

That grin softened for once, and almost disappeared entirely while he let himself go to thought, then came right back again. For the most part, the chill in him had taken its leave, but he still felt uneasy in his stomach. He wouldn't be sick, but it was a hollow feeling, like something once safe in him had been destroyed. "Let it be the only thing you ever call me. I've not gone by that name since well before your father was born. It means nothing to me now."

In that, he'd lied. He carried two sides of himself and had for decades. One side was what the world saw and the other was the man he had once been. Slowly but surely, he'd noticed the two were starting to combine when the boy was around, but he'd refused to acknowledge it.

For now, he let it out of his mind. There was still the question of how the two of them had managed to dream of each other and his own memory. The frown did return then, only in thought. "It rightly bothers me, that this has happened. So many questions."

That was a long time, at least for him. Probably not for Undertaker or any reaper, at least. He was still full of questions, he couldn't help that, but he bit every one of them back and willed himself to let them go entirely. Undertaker had already given him more than he probably rightfully deserved.

"Undertaker it will stay then." He gave him a smile, reached out and gave his hand a squeeze. "I won't breathe a word of Cedric again."

It would have been hard to break fourteen years of habit anyway, so a part of him was glad there wouldn't be a change. And he couldn't help but be equally concerned.

"Knowing how would be nice. And why as we sleep?"

He gave a soft sound and nodded, relieved in part that the boy had decided to hold his tongue on the rest of the matter for now. Maybe in time, he would be prepared to give the boy a little tour in the history of his life, but not right now, in the dead of night after the strangest dream he had ever had - or shared - with anyone.

"I do appreciate that, milord. Perhaps one day, but today, it isn't."

He considered his phone on the night stand, wondering if perhaps the network had any answers for them about dreams and sharing them suddenly with roommates, but he shook his head against it. It was still dark outside and he hadn't the mind to fight his vision to see such a tiny screen. In the morning, he would be stalking it, to be sure, but at the moment he only wanted to sit in bed and relax for a bit.

"Others may know, but I haven't the mind to do any heavy looking right now. Bother me though it may, it's late, and I'd like to shake off this feeling before morning." Even if he knew well he might not sleep again. He turned and set his pillow against the headboard of the bed, fluffed it up a little and scooted back to lean against it.

"That's fine." It really would have bothered him before they'd gotten here. Ciel hated being in the dark, not knowing things that, even if they weren't important to his work, had at least captured his curiosity.

As Undertaker got comfortable again, Ciel glanced back towards his bed, the stand the held his own phone and his eye patch and then back to his roommate, grabbing his extra pillow and settling it close, pulling the blanket up further for Undertaker.

"Would you prefer being alone tonight, or..?" Was he welcome to stay, curled up beside him like usual.

Despite the circumstances, he shook his head without thought into the response he would give. None was needed. It was hardly the boy's fault that they were both given a brief glimpse into his very distant past.

"There'd be no reason for me to kick you out, even if you can stand a night to yourself. I'll let you decide where you'd like to finish your sleep."

He took a moment to consider, unable to resist a faint huff of irritation. He could manage a night on his own, it was just a matter that he didn't want to. It was comfortable curled up beside Undertaker, just as it had been when he was half this age, sharing a bed with his twin.

"So long as you don't mind, I am comfortable." When wasn't he though?

Always so indecisive these days, he thought, and let the humor get at him. He lifted a hand and used the fingers to brush over the dark hair once. Maybe he would sleep again tonight, maybe he wouldn't. He hadn't an idea of what time it was, but the sun wasn't yet out. He could try, perhaps for the boy's sake.

"Stay, then. I'm not going anywhere." Not for several hours at least, with luck. The water would wait until morning.

Could he be blamed? Stuck between letting himself live a normal life and trying to hold onto the noble air he'd built over the past four years. Almost like he was made up of two Ciel's who were fighting for dominance.

"Good." His voice went soft, and then he settled against Undertaker's side, head against his shoulder. "I'll move if you change your mind."

Their proximity loosened the tension running across his shoulders and down his stomach, much as it had to keep his chain in his hand while he slept. It kept him from feeling alone, kept the ghosts of those he cared for the most nearby, even if it wasn't the same as a living body.

He looked down at his roommate, considering. "If you do decide to stay, there is one thing I would ask of you, milord." Without vocalizing his request, he opened both arms in invitation.

At first, all he did was blink at Undertaker in confusion, and then his mind caught up and registered just what that request was and his heart clenched a bit. He didn't even answer, just shifted and then wrapped his arms around Undertaker, settling his head against his chest.

It wasn't nearly the hardest thing he could have asked for and it wasn't anything Ciel was unwillingly to give, squeezing the man slightly.

It wasn't contact that he absolutely needed, but was wanted. Arms encircled the boy and held him close, drawing the blanket Ciel had tried to use with him earlier up closer to the Earl's shoulders. He intended to keep Ciel here for a little while, even just a few moments, if he chould.

Head ducked close for a moment, he spoke into Ciel's hair. "If you can't sleep like this, I'll let you go. But just for a while..."

He lifted his head again and put it back against the headboard, keeping his arms around Ciel's shoulders, letting the warmth there seep in.

Ciel just shook his head, settling against him and enjoying the added warmth of Undertaker's arms around him as well as the blanket. It was comfortable, safe, just a couple reasons Ciel had gravitated to him since they'd arrived.

"Mm, this is okay." Hearing his heart, feeling his breathing, it was surprisingly relaxing. Maybe it had been he was younger as well, he couldn't remember. It was already enough that, if he wasn't careful, he'd fall asleep again soon.

Unexpectedly, just that weight of the boy against him, the feel of something warm in his arms, the thought that this was someone who trusted him, someone he would protect, slowly began to dissolve the remaining tension in him, shrugging the dream's remnants away little by little. He would sleep again tonight, he was sure, and he hadn't been so sure before. Now he was glad for it.

"That'll be just fine." Oh he was most certainly going to be sore in the morning. This position, the harsh wood of the headboard, would leave his back aching without a doubt, but he didn't have it in him to move them again. As they were, they could rest. He let his eyes close, turning his world from dark shadows into blackness absolute.

He slept again, sooner than he imagined he would.

Ciel was out again fairly quickly, content that he was safe, that Undertaker had seemed to trust him enough with what his real name had been. It had been a long time since he really let himself feel this comfortable and safe, and it was nice.

He would probably shift a bit in his sleep but throughout the night, he stayed mostly settled in Undertaker's arms.

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