riverviewlogs | introductory mingle: FEAST OF THE DYING

Entry tags:

introductory mingle: FEAST OF THE DYING

who: everyone in Riverview!
what: Introductory Log and Feast of the Dying
when: Feast of the Dying from October 1st-8th; various other prompts over the whole month of October.
where: Anywhere around the city.
warnings: please put any necessary warnings in the subject lines

feast of the dying

In the days leading up to October 1st, residents new and old will notice preparations beginning, a flurry of activity getting the city ready for the upcoming celebration: the Feast of the Dying. There is an old, widely-known, and widely-believed superstition or proverb in Riverview Quarantine: 'The greater your fear of death, the easier it is for death to find you.' This is a cornerstone belief of a lot of the residents of the Quarantine, most of whom have survived intensely difficult and violent pasts on their own worlds and who are still willing and eager to throw themselves into exploring and settling new worlds, starting their lives fresh. To honor this spirit, the Feast of the Dying is a celebration of the transition between life and death, an opportunity to face death both figuratively and literally, and come out on top.

celebrating the transition from life to death

During the month of October, a particular natural phenomenon on the moon weakens the boundaries between the worlds of the living and the dead, allowing for the crossover of those dead into the world of the living, with ghosts from the pasts of both the residents and the Quarantine itself to take corporeal form. The festivities during this time feature tests of courage in highly haunted places, escape rooms both virtual and physical with varying levels of danger, and the week-long Feast of the Dying itself, between October 1st and 8th this year.

i. ghosts from the past

During the 10th month of every year on the moon, due to a complex series of chemical, electromagnetic, and magical forces that no one has ever exactly distinguished or completely understands, the boundaries between the worlds of the living and the dead are weakened almost to the point of nonexistence. During this time, residents of the moon are able to see and interact with the dead - ghosts, manifesting in ways that run the gamut from being a strange sense of being watched or being visible or audible all the way to more corporeal spirits that can affect the world around them. The barriers are weaker in some parts of the city than they are in others, with some areas experiencing little to no ghost activity, while others are so populated with these ghosts that residents can barely go a few feet without running into one. The ghosts are generally the unsettled dead, people who died violently, or who were lost, seeking a place to call home, and their behavior is as varied as it was while they were alive. Some ghosts are angry and vengeful, some are simply lonely and lost.

While some people tend to interact with the ghosts only a little and as necessary, others avoid them as completely as possible, and yet others actively seek out souls who are suffering and try to ease that so they can stop coming back year after year. There are other people who have found that ghosts from their home worlds have come through with them, following them through the portal when they arrived, even if they did not die on the moon...

Whether facing death or making peace with those who have died, this is a time to reflect.

A Few OOC Guidelines:
● Characters may see or interact with ghosts from the Quarantine's past. These people will be as varied as the NPCs, from a multitude of different worlds, and characters are welcome to either engage or avoid, as players wish.
● Most Quarantine-based ghosts will have died in either the Great War with the neighboring reality or in the Pandemic that wiped out the population of the Abandoned City years ago.
● Characters may also see or interact with ghosts from their own or other characters' canons, providing the character in question is dead in canon and is not currently being played in the game.
● Canon-based ghosts should not be simply transplanted into the game as they were in canon - they are ghosts, and therefore 'not quite right,' and should not be used as an excuse to NPC a canonmate for a month. These ghosts are there to be used as plot devices to open up new avenues of CR, to create angst, to help a character make peace with their past, or other similar reasons.
● Ghosts should not be complete corporeal physical presences indistinguishable from living people, but barring this, how strongly the ghosts manifest and how much they can interact with the world around them is up to player discretion. Ghosts shouldn't be present the whole month straight, but can disappear and reappear at random times.

● Mod questions and plotting regarding this prompt can be found here.

ii. the feast of the dying

The month's holiday is named after a long-standing tradition in the Quarantine - the Feast of the Dying - that starts at sundown on the first day of the month and continues until sunrise on the ninth day. The Feast of the Dying is a costumed masquerade-style party that is continuously available for the entire week. Set up by volunteers specializing in both magic and science, the Feast of the Dying is hosted in a large conference center that has been decorated and magically altered to provide a very formal, intensely creepy atmosphere. The decor can run the gamut from fancy and classy decorations featuring iconic skeletons or ghosts to incredibly realistic catacombs or any other frightening settings that you can think of. Rooms often become more and more foggy the more people enter them to mingle, and in many rooms the air pressure will be slightly played with to make the atmosphere seem more oppressive and spooky. Costumes and masks are required, and anything from a Halloween-style costume to a formal outfit with mask is acceptable.

Players can feel free to go wild with ideas for decor at the Feast, including linking to inspiration images in their posts - it is, essentially, like having a Masquerade ball inside a disturbingly realistic haunted house.

The venue the Feast is held in includes several large rooms intended for dancing with different themes and decorations that can change off and on throughout the week, two large dining rooms where feasts will be held at mealtimes and snacks or drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) will be promptly served to anyone who sits at one of the tables, and a plethora of rooms meant for mingling and relaxing. Additionally, there are a large number of smaller lockable rooms set up for sleeping or private encounters.

iii. escape rooms

One of the fun and more commercialized aspects of the season are the many Escape Rooms that pop up throughout the Quarantine. Residents are encouraged to test their survival skills by grouping up with friends or strangers to escape difficult and scary situations together by solving a series of puzzles.

Escape Rooms can be either physical, set up inside buildings with realistic decorations, or they can be Virtual Reality, where the players don VR masks and cooperate in a virtual world. While the former can be more challenging and realistic, the latter provides for higher stakes. Physical Escape Rooms are generally set up to avoid any kind of physical harm to participants, but the Virtual Reality Escape Rooms can simulate pain and injury quite handily, and therefore can put participants in more dangerous situations.

While players can make up an Escape Room that uses whatever theme they like, some prompts are below:

● Zombie Attack
● Torture Machines or Traps
● Cannibal Warlock
● Wrongly Convicted: Escape from Prison
● Escape from Sewer Monsters
● Mad Scientist Experiments

iv. tests of courage

As mentioned before, there are certain parts of the city where the ghost activity is much stronger than elsewhere. These are places where terrible things have happened - hospitals that treated the ill during the Pandemic, insane asylums or prisons where inmates were mistreated, homes where terrible murders happened, places exposed to dark magic, and other similar places. Every year during October, these places are shut down or vacated (unless they were already sitting empty) and entrance is allowed to people wishing to partake in a traditional Test of Courage - to enter these deeply haunted and dangerous places, and stay there as long as possible, sometimes even overnight.

In these particularly vulnerable and terrifying places, ghost activity is intense and almost constant. Characters will encounter strange sounds, smells, and visions; will encounter ghosts that are capable of throwing items or people; and most of all, they will experience powerful and realistic hallucinations due to the sheer lack of boundary between the worlds of the living and dead in these areas. Whether the hallucinations are manifestations of their own worst fears, the ghosts retelling their own tortured stories, or any other kind of terrifying vision, they feel very real. While characters will not be injured by the hallucinations, the sensations of pain, pleasure, hunger, thirst, or other sensations will be almost impossible to tell from the real thing until the hallucination subsides at daylight.

While the haunted locations are highly unlikely to kill characters, whether or not they experience serious injury due to physical actions they do while under the influence of a hallucination (eg. falling down a flight of stairs) or attacks from ghosts (eg. an angry ghost throws books at a character) is up to player discretion.

v. roommates or wildcard

Feel free to use this prompt to meet new roommates, for the purpose of getting to know each other, or hit up the mod-posted prompt to create a Communal Housing floor mingle. Or, if you have an idea for a prompt that isn't in this list, set during the Feast of the Dying, feel free to write it up!

visual inspiration

click on thumbnails for larger view; images may contain disturbing themes

Credit: image i: Olivier Le Gall; image ii: John Watkiss; image iii: unknown (wallpapersfan); image iv: signed (pinterest); images v and vi: unknown (pinterest)

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ The first time he runs into Eobard, it's awful. Beyond awful. But he gets through it. It's only five minutes, maybe six, before his ghost dissipates. Cisco's body moves mechanically over to the steps leading up to some building (he'd been headed inside, but he's entirely forgotten about that). He pulls out his phone, full of a strange intense calm that accompanies a shock this severe. He writes, simply: ]

where are you

[Eddie's been kind of freaked out by all the ghosts too. They keep showing up just behind him, catching his peripheral vision, just out of the corner of his eye, making him gasp and turn. Eddie's gotten used to metas and aliens and even magic, a little, but ghosts isn't something he's sure he'll ever be used to.

The truth is, no one really close to Eddie has died, not really, so he hasn't run into any ghosts of a personal nature. In fact, he hadn't even really realized that they could run into ghosts of a personal nature. He only realizes Cisco is distressed because of the way he's texting.]

Just leaving the station. What's up? Are you okay?

can you come here?

[ The fact that Cisco doesn't answer, or give any clues as to where 'here' is, are also not great signs. A moment later he follows up: ]

please

Edited 2017-10-02 03:51 (UTC)

Of course I can, babe. I'm getting in my car right now. Are you at home, or the lab, or somewhere else?

[ It takes a moment for Cisco to answer. He looks at the street, doesn't see any signs, turns around to see the words above the doors he's sitting in front of, and: ]

i'm sitting in front of the library

I'll be there in five minutes.

[And he is. The library's pretty close to the police station in the city center, and Eddie drives as quickly as he can get away with in his unmarked police car. Pulling up in front of the library, he puts on his four-way blinkers and climbs out of the car, jogging up the steps until he sees Cisco, huddled on the stairs.

Biting his lower lip, he sits down next to him.]

Hey. Hey babe, are you okay? Did something happen? Are you hurt?

[ Cisco sees Eddie rushing over, still full of that strange, detached feeling, though a little of it starts to erode when he registers how worried Eddie looks. He shakes his head, realizes Eddie had asked more than one question, and then shrugs. The answer to all three is some approximation of those two gestures.

He'd wanted to wait until Eddie was here in person - his urgency hadn't been a desire for comfort, but because he wanted to get to Eddie and give him the news before he got a bad shock, too. So Cisco doesn't build up to it. He just says, a little breathless but otherwise kind of flatly: ]

Dr. Wells's ghost is here. I wanted to warn you.

Edited 2017-10-02 04:10 (UTC)

What?

[It comes out of him in a small, shocked voice, his eyes widen and he's immediately looking around while he scoots a bit closer to Cisco, puts an arm around his shoulders. For the moment, Eddie doesn't see Eobard anywhere, doesn't see that face with those unnerving eyes and the creepy expression, can't imagine him being more creepy by being a ghost. Can't imagine how it must have felt for Cisco to see him like that.

Turning his head, he presses his face into Cisco's hair.]

Thank you for the warning.

[A beat, while he wonders how to address this, whether he even should while they're sitting in the open on the library stairs, cuddled up together or not.]

Do you want to come home with me?

[ That cold surface of calm cracks, when Eddie presses his face into Cisco's hair like that, worried and tender. He can tell that this isn't going to last much longer. That there's a tidal wave coming, and he doesn't want to be out here in the open when it hits. So when Eddie asks if he wants to come home, Cisco nods, getting to his feet and walking with Eddie down to the car.

He gets all settled in the front seat automatically - his hands have been through the movements of closing the door and pulling on a seatbelt so often that they do them without needing to be told. But then he doesn't go back to being still. As Eddie drives, Cisco's hands pluck and twitch at his pant legs, smoothing out folds around his knees, picking at tiny pieces of dust and lint.

Unprompted, he says: ]

I was walking along the road and- he was just- he was just there.

[Eddie can feel it, the way Cisco is coming apart at the edges, a little bit. That he's being quiet and calm out of shock rather than any kind of nonchalance about the situation. It's exactly what Eddie would expect from a situation like this, the shock and the slowly building onset of emotion, the inevitable fall as it really registers.

Cisco buckles himself in on autopilot and Eddie's driving as soon as he can, pulling out into the street and being just a touch reckless as he heads toward their apartment. He wants Cisco to be somewhere safe, and confined, with a locked door and a blanket and comfortable clothes and someone to hold him, when this breaks through the shell of shock. He wants to make this as easy as he can.

But Cisco's voice is already shaking a bit when he explains how it had happened, that he was walking along the road and Eobard was just there and Eddie's throat feels suddenly tight with sympathetic fear.]

My god. That must have been terrifying.

[ Cisco can tell Eddie's driving a little faster than normal, but he doesn't know if that's out of concern for getting him home quickly or because of his own shock over the news. Probably the latter. Cisco can't blame him. At the very least, the two of them both know their apartment is in an area that's gotten almost no ghost activity at all. Cisco hadn't seen even a wisp of a ghost within three blocks, which is even more of a relief, now.

When Eddie says that must have been terrifying, Cisco opens his mouth to say yeah, but no sound comes out. His heart is beating fast - too fast, for just sitting there, in the car, with his boyfriend driving. Cisco can't seem to breathe right all of a sudden. His inhalations go thin and shallow and very quick. It's stupid, being afraid now. Pointless. But no amount of logic is going to convince his body to stop panicking, now that it's started.

Cisco folds his arms across his chest as he starts trembling, and he manages to nod, though he doesn't know if Eddie will catch it in his peripheral vision. He just has to hold it together a little longer. Just 'til they get home. But the momentum has already started, and Cisco can hear the little hitches of fear attaching themselves to every inhale, now. ]

[When Cisco doesn't say anything, Eddie shifts a bit, glances to the side and sees his tiny nod, out of the corner of his eye. Almost immediately, he feels the intense reaction in himself - his own fear, mostly for Cisco's sake, his own grief over his own death, his protective instincts, his anger at Eobard for doing this to Cisco again, somehow, even though Eddie had thought he'd taken care of that monster.

Eddie's quiet as Cisco crosses his arms over his chest, and he listens to the pattern of Cisco's breathing, focuses on getting them home as fast as he can. But after a moment, he can't keep quiet any more and speaks, voice soft.]

I know it probably won't help much right now, but I promise you, Cisco. You're safe. I'm not going to let him touch you again. No matter what it takes, okay? I've got you, Cisco.

[Turning his attention back to the road, Eddie speeds up a little bit, pulls into the driveway of their building, and pulls into their parking space. Getting out, he locks the door, heads around to Cisco's side of the car, opens the door like he would if he were doing bodyguard duty for a celebrity in danger, his body blocking any blind spots.]

Let's get inside.

Edited 2017-10-02 15:29 (UTC)

[ Cisco tightens his arms around his chest, as if he could hold it all in with force, keep himself from falling apart by the mere exertion of pressure. He's pretty certain he wouldn't have made it, staved it off, if it weren't for Eddie, murmuring hoarse reassurances from the driver's seat, glancing at him once or twice, all concern and protectiveness. When he says I've got you, Cisco, his eyes start to fill with tears, but he manages another nod, larger this time, impossible for Eddie to miss even with his eyes focused on pulling in to their driveway.

He is glad for Eddie opening the car door for him; he tried, but his hands feel strangely cold and he's clumsy and shaking. But he gets out, huddles against Eddie as they make their way inside. Cisco feels a little guilty for how glad he is that Yuri isn't there, when they walk in the door. He makes it in only a few steps, holds out just until the door is closed, before he's sucking in a loud, shuddery, sobbing breath and saying: ]

He said... said he'd been w-watching us.

Edited 2017-10-02 15:44 (UTC)

[By the time they get out of the car, Cisco is shaking and his eyes are wet with tears and he's leaning into Eddie's side, huddling against him as they go into the apartment, get the door closed. Eddie is focused on damage control, on locking the door behind them and then Cisco is crying, his voice coming in huge shuddering sob noises that break Eddie's heart.

Almost immediately, Eddie's moving away from the door and going after him, pressing a hand against his shoulder and tilting his head to look at him, then pressing in against his back, arms around his shoulders. Holding Cisco back against himself, he presses against him, lets Cisco lean into the solid warmth of his body, and then lifts his other hand, sliding it into Cisco's hair.]

How could he have been watching us? There's no way. He was just lying again, Cisco.

[Turning his head a bit, he presses his face into Cisco's hair, eyes falling shut. The way Cisco says it, though, and knowing Eobard, Eddie can feel his heart speed up, his breath go a bit faster, that instinctive and immediate fear reaction. Squeezing Cisco tighter, he tries to wrap himself around his boyfriend.]

He's a liar. That's what he does. Just because he said it doesn't make it true.

[ Cisco doesn't start crying properly until Eddie's arms are around him, crushing him, a little too tight in the best possible way. Right now Cisco wants a little too tight, a little too close. He hides his face against Eddie's chest, breaths going hiccupy and irregular as Eddie starts stroking his hair. It's comforting, and Cisco registers that dimly, but there's so much built up terror in him that he needs to purge from his systems. He cries, but it is almost silent, awful and wracking.

Eddies voice is soothing - the tone, the familiar low hum of it, but his words themselves are wrong, and Cisco knows it. He shakes his head, saying thickly: ]

He wasn't. Our date at the bistro this weekend. He- he knew what we ordered. He must've been so close and we just didn't-

[ And the thought of at - Eobard, close but unseen, spying on them when the two of them felt alone and safe - is enough to send him tipping down towards panic. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to remember the exercises he's learned, to make himself breathe in and out, slowly, but it's hard to force his uncooperative body. ]

Edited 2017-10-03 00:24 (UTC)

[When Cisco curls in against him, willingly pressing himself into Eddie's embrace, burying his face into Eddie's chest, something unwinds just a bit in Eddie's gut. Some of the fear leaves him, because if Cisco is here, safe, held in his arms, he feels more capable of protecting him, of keeping him safe.

Or at least he does until Cisco says that he wasn't lying, that Eobard had seen them at their date at the bistro, that he knew what they'd ordered, that he'd been close and they hadn't realized. Hands shaking slightly, Eddie closes his eyes against Cisco's hair, still holding Cisco tight, his whole body trembling a little. He wants so much to wrap Cisco up in a warm, safe cocoon where no one can touch him, where Eobard's ghost can't torment him, where he'll truly feel safe.

Of course, Eddie knows that there's no way he can really make Cisco feel truly safe because even the sacrifice he made wasn't enough to completely put Eobard down. But he wants to, he wants to so terribly he can taste it, he can feel it tight in the back of his throat, he can feel it in the hot stinging behind his eyes. Eddie's barely aware of how the air around himself and Cisco goes a little cold, how the light drains out of the atmosphere around them, just a little.

Then, abruptly, Eddie's eyes are glowing a soft blue-purple through his closed lids, his arms squeeze tight and the shield pops into existence around them with a hum of energy. It isn't like it was before, a big oval shield that Eddie can carry around - this is different. Thicker, shaped like a tall dome, encasing both of them.]

It's going to be okay Cisco. [Eddie breathes it out, not entirely aware of the shield just yet.] I'm going to...I'm gonna protect you. I'm gonna keep you safe...

[ Cisco takes a few moments to notice the changes, too. Parts of him do sometimes feel very cold, when he is having a panic attack - something about oxygen flow and hyperventilation - and he doesn't hear that hum at first over the pounding of his pulse in his ears. He notices the shield not because of any of his five senses; it's an instinct, more than anything else. An awareness of the energy that he doesn't understand.

But it's enough to get him to open his eyes, see that dark blue dome all around them, enveloping them, shifting and glowing but unbroken. Cisco draws back enough to see Eddie's face, the glow of his eyes. The surprise of it slows his escalating panic. Confused, he whispers: ]

Eddie, what...?

[When Cisco draws back from him and says his name, soft and quiet and confused, Eddie blinks and opens his eyes, looking down at his boyfriend's face and then lifting his chin, head swiveling as he looks around them. The shield is dark blue, vibrant, buzzing, and Eddie can feel more than see that it's powerful. Very powerful.

For a moment, his breath catches in his throat, he'd almost forgotten that this is something he can do. For a moment, his heart beats hard in his chest, he can't breathe, he can't speak for how overwhelmed he feels.]

I guess...all I could think about was how much I wanted to keep you safe.

[For a moment, his throat feels tight, and he lifts a hand, gently cupping Cisco's face, tracing his thumb against Cisco's cheekbone.]

I really...really need to learn to control this power. I made a shield without even meaning to...I just wanted you to feel safe, even just for a few moments...

[ It takes Cisco's panic-drenched brain longer than it would at a more opportune time, to work out the logic of what had just happened. Eddie is a metahuman, and his powers aren't triggered in the way Cisco's are - not by pure fear, but by the desire to protect. So it makes sense that right now, when Cisco is a total mess (he knows he is) and falling apart at the seams, that that would set Eddie's powers off. Except he'd only seen Eddie make a small, hand-held shield before, not this. Not a barrier surrounding the both of them, shutting the rest of the world out.

Cisco is tense and shivery from panic, and he starts a little when Eddie touches his face. But that initial flinch is merely reflexive; he leans one cheek into Eddie's hand, head tilting a bit as another few tears spill from his eyes. He thinks there isn't anyone he would want touching him right now but Eddie. No one he could stand it from. There's so much love in Eddie's face, even with those glowing eyes. ]

C-can you keep it up a little while?

[ He doesn't know if it's a reasonable request, if this is draining Eddie. He remembers the nosebleed Eddie had gotten, from drawing on his powers too much. Cisco doesn't want to hurt him. But that wall of blue, and the hum of it, and being in here where only Eddie can touch him and speak to him and get at him, is what he needs right now. To just be walled off from the world. His voice is quiet and a little pleading: ]

I just want to... want stay in here, only for a little bit. Is that okay?

[There's a spike of guilt when Cisco flinches away from his touch at first, but then Cisco tilts his head and leans his cheek against Eddie's hand. Gently, Eddie keeps touching, fingertips stroking Cisco's jawline, brushing away a tear as it slides down Cisco's cheek. In this moment, Eddie feels almost overwhelmed with it, with how good Cisco is, how much affection he feels for him, how much he wants him to be happy and safe and feel protected.

When Cisco asks if he can keep the shield up for a little while, Eddie is so suffused with affection and desire to protect him that he feels like he could hold the shield forever. Leaning in, he presses a soft kiss against Cisco's forehead before speaking, his voice soft and quiet.]

Of course it's okay. I'll keep it up for as long as I can, if it's helping you feel better.

[Eddie lifts his other hand, cupping Cisco's jaw between them, then brushing fingertips down the sides of his neck to his shoulders, dragging gently over his skin and clothing, feeling the warm, reassuring heat of him, thinking idly of how much he wants Cisco to stay this way. Warm and solid and perfect.]

I just want to help.

I think it is.

[ He realizes right then that he's no longer teetering on the edge of a panic attack. He feels wretched, all trembly and weak-kneed and weepy, but he isn't paralyzed with fear. Cisco doesn't know if that will last, but he doesn't care. The reprieve is welcome. He wraps his arms around Eddie's chest and hugs him tightly. There's a few moments of silence, just the two of them, embracing in that bright blue bubble.

When Cisco speaks next, it is calmer than when he was talking earlier, but still jerky and strained: ]

I don't think... I don't think the ghosts are dangerous. He- tried to put his hand on my shoulder but it went right through.

[ A particularly nauseating moment, which had of course brought to mind Wells's vibrating hand going into his chest, ripping his heart to shreds. But this time it had only been a feeling of cold, a prickling across his skin. Still, Cisco shudders, remembering it. He gnaws at his lower lip, voice hoarse with checked tears as he says in a rush: ]

Even after I realized he couldn't do anything I didn't- I just kept standing there. I couldn't move. I... froze.

Okay.

[It's a simple response, but there's nothing else to say, really. Just that Eddie is acknowledging that Cisco is afraid and that what Eddie is doing, his shield, is helping. In that space where only the two of them can stand, where no one else can enter, where no one else can interfere, where no one can interrupt the intimacy as they share their fears. As Eddie's fear slowly subsides in the face of being able, finally, to do something concrete and real to protect Cisco that doesn't involve hurting or killing himself, something that can actually keep Eobard away.

When Cisco speaks again, his voice is a little shaky and tight but it's not as disjointed as it had been earlier, Cisco seems to have some breath in him, he's communicating instead of just crying for help. Eddie nods, listening to Cisco's explanation of how he'd run into Eobard, then hears the tension in his voice as he explains how he'd reacted. Eddie can see the tears gleaming in Cisco's dark eyes, and he lifts his hands to cup Cisco's face again, making eye contact despite the glow of his own eyes.]

That must have been terrifying, having his hand go through you again like that. I can't imagine how scary. I don't blame you for freezing up.

[While he speaks, he keeps his eyes on Cisco's face, his voice even, his expression as calm as he can make it, though he's starting to feel a slight burn, a tension, from holding the shield in place. He ignores it, wants to give Cisco somewhere safe to have this conversation.]

Edited 2017-10-03 03:05 (UTC)

[ Cisco gives a tight nod; Eddie gets it, without him needing to lay it out explicitly, why the hand thing had been particularly awful. And maybe it's pathetic, but Cisco feels a little rush of relief that Eddie says he doesn't blame him for freezing in the moment. Cisco still blames himself, a little, but it's good to know that Eddie doesn't think he's an unforgivable coward. ]

I hate that I... that I get like this around him. I just. Hate him.

[ Eddie's hands are so, so careful when they touch his face. Cisco draws in a long, shuddery breath, then leans forward on his tiptoes to kiss Eddie. It is not a passionate kiss, or a long one. Just a brief touch of his lips, a gesture of appreciation. He takes a few more moments just breathing, and centering himself, before he says: ]

Okay, you can drop the shield, now. I kind of, um. Want to take a shower.

[ Perhaps it's silly, but it's a part of his ritual, a part of how he copes when things get bad. Eddie knows that, by now. Cisco asks, a touch of hope in his voice: ] Maybe... you can come with me? I still don't.... really feel like being alone.

[Tilting his head, Eddie looks into Cisco's face and offers him a soft smile.]

Hey. All of this is pretty normal, okay? I've seen a lot of people who've dealt with violence and manipulation like this, at my job. I've interviewed them, I've seen them at trial, and this is normal. I know it's not fun, I know it's awful to deal with, but it's not weird. You're not weird, and all of this is totally valid, okay?

[Gently, Eddie keeps touching Cisco's face, and when Cisco gets up on his toes to kiss him, Eddie kisses back. Presses another one to Cisco's forehead as Cisco says he can drop the shield, that he wants to take a shower. Eddie nods, and takes a breath, lets go of the feelings he's been holding onto to keep the shield up, and it falls, disappearing abruptly, his eyes going back to normal. He's a little fatigued, a little shaky, but there's no nosebleed. Smiling a bit, the expression sad and fond, Eddie pushes some of Cisco's hair and nods.]

Of course. I can wash your hair, if you want.

Okay.

[ Cisco is glad that Eddie reminds him about his job; it's easy to forget how much of his job involves not just pouring over clues, chasing criminals, and doing paperwork, but dealing with people who have been hurt. That had never been anything Cisco had had to do, when he was consulting for the CCPD, or while he was helping Barry as the Flash.

Whether or not it should, it means more to him, hearing reassurances about it being normal, when it's coming in the context of Eddie-as-a-cop and not just Eddie-his-boyfriend. If it were only the latter, he'd worry the words were empty, merely meant to soothe him but ultimately untrue. ]

I do want.

[ The signs of Eddie's fatigue are there, but Cisco doesn't see them. He wraps an arm around Eddie's waist, and the both of them make their way up the stairs to Cisco's attic room. He's been trying to do better at keeping things a little tidy, since he and Eddie started dating. He'd caught Eddie cleaning up, insisting that he didn't mind, but Cisco felt guilty about it all the same.

Today, however, is not a day for that level of being considerate. Cisco kicks off his shoes, starts peeling off clothes even before he gets to the bathroom, just leaving them where they fall. He twists on the tap and waits a few seconds for the hot water to reach his room. As he's waiting, he says: ]

I can't believe I ever bought his bullshit. I don't know... maybe the ghost version isn't all there, or maybe I've just wised up, but all the... the stupid emotional games were just so obvious. Trying to make me feel guilty for liking it better here. Trying to turn me against you.

[ Cisco doesn't know if Eddie wants him to stop talking about Eobard; they have had some serious talks about him, but not often. There's a lot, still, that he hasn't told Eddie. Probably some of it Eddie has guessed, because he's sharp, and as he'd said, he has dealt with people who have been hurt before. But it's not as if there's a good mood for him to ruin, and so he might as well just disclose a thing or two.

He tests the temperature and steps into the spray, holding the curtain open a little and waiting for Eddie to follow. ]

He... used to do that. Try to interfere with my love life, I mean. I honestly didn't put it together until later because I'm- an idiot, but since I started at S.T.A.R. Labs anytime I'd been on a few dates with someone or started talking about them at work, things wouldn't work out. We would get super busy, have crazy deadlines to meet, there would be emergencies. I didn't see the pattern, you know? I was just so happy I had this awesome job, that I was needed, that the work I was doing was that- that urgent, you know?

closed 👻 for eddie

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