( open ) slow i'm getting up

[evasives]

who: Cassian Andor + open!
what: rebel spy poorly adjusts to civilian life
when: mid september?? whatever is convenient
where: various! multi-choice.
warnings: will edit as necessary!



i. perimeter guard

[cassian has gone beyond the wall a handful of times by now, but he has yet to stay more than one night. when he's at the headquarters, he hangs out in the hangar, poking around at the transit, or with the maps, pouring over them very meticulously. sometimes he's hunched over his own map, adding details or working on a copy to keep. survey work is easy enough, because surveillance is key to being a spy. he's got a very good memory.]

[other times he's sorting through a haul of old scraps and pieces of technology he managed to pull in, figuring out what can be fixed, what needs to be tossed, and what can be reused. it's all sorted into three distinct piles, and once in a while he tinkers with some of it, trying to make it work again.]

K2, what do you - [oh. no. wait. it's instinct to just ask his droid for technical opinions, but he cuts himself off and his entire expression darkens while he turns his screwdriver a little too aggressively.]

ii. perimeter guard redux

[he's very prepared for monsters in the sense of combat experience. most of his life, however, has been spent fighting people not beasts. cassian is meant for stealth; he's a sniper, an assassin, an informant, and his kills tend to happen quickly and quietly.]

[of course this one happens when he's alone, having separated for about an hour from jyn to cover more ground, though he hasn't gone too far from the wall. he'd shot it from afar and knocked it out, but it hadn't been alone; the companion zeroes in on cassian's location as he switches his blaster from stun to kill, any sense of invisibility lost when he fired the gun the first time. great good monster times all around.]

iii. how do you food

[grocery shopping is bizarre. cassian has lived essentially his whole life off rations or basic levels of food (sometimes even whatever he could snag on the streets). he was fed appropriately enough, but the Rebellion hadn't exactly been brimming with fine cuisine. the stores here sometime feel like too many options. he spends more time staring at the choices before picking the least flashy, unable to break the habit. he also piles his basket with enough food for two people, a habit he's picked up in the month or so he's been here.]

[he's keeping a very cool and collected facade, but there are probably little signs of uncertainty that should not belong to someone who's just browsing through a grocery store. frowning at perishable packages and the rainbow of juices, squinting at labels warily. he may also have an obscene amount of water bottles. you can never have too much!]

[he's perpetually grumpy at nearly every box he picks up to read over ingredients.] These percentages are far too precise. How is this necessary?

iv. how do you escape hypercompetency

[the perimeter guard keeps him busy, but cassian hasn't stopped reflecting on what jyn said weeks ago, how he doesn't have to be a spy here anymore. there is no one to report to, no war on his heels, but the habits don't die out even when he tries to remind himself otherwise.]

[he goes to the library and tries to find books for leisure, but ends up looking between the shelves to see who else is there, skimming the titles belonging to the person sitting next to him. he takes out too many because this is a luxury at least he can share, and some of the books he picks aren't really leisure.]

[every time he turns a corner inside a building or out on the street, he looks around in a very calculative way. he steps around people and weaves through crowds too easily, turning over his shoulder to make sure none of them noticed him. paranoia doesn't sit well with civilian life.]

[he often goes for a run in the mornings, stretching it further each day to keep testing the strength of his leg and spine. sometimes it becomes too much and he has to rest on a bench, practically chugging his water as he watches the people slip by him. he catalogues them without realizing, huffing out a sigh.]

[he really doesn't know how to turn it off.]

Maybe I need a hobby. [muttering to himself is not a good hobby.]

v. wildcard!

[make up your own or hit me up: communism @ plurk, romanitas#5368 @ discord, pm this journal.]

Comments

[evasives]

[the controlled reactions make it hard for cassian to judge what sort of tone to take about all this.]

The Republic did not outlast your Order by very long either.

[empires suck.]

[jedies]

[ It seems Yoda's words were prophetic after all. It's hard to comprehend such a loss. It's gutting, for a war that Obi-Wan had been for, had seen the beginning of. Still, there's certainly a faint sense of shock. The Republic and the Jedi had been around for thousands of years. How could the twilight of their time come so soon, so swiftly?

Had Mortis been a sign? But Obi-Wan dismisses it. He dislikes thinking of Mortis and its strange messages. Below all of this reasoning lies one single truth that Obi-Wan is all too familiar with. That he failed. He failed Anakin. He failed the rest. ]

I would be surprised if they did.

[ He marvels at his own control. ]

I don't suppose you know how?

[evasives]

[he is a very remarkably controlled man, and cassian can definitely relate. it makes him sympathetic to see the tiny hints of it though, which is probably better than just being simply skeptical. his tone reflects that, shifting from dry into something more more serious.]

The good chancellor Palpatine declared himself Emperor. The Republic has become an Empire. The Senate still exists in name, but it's virtually useless.

[jedies]

[ The Force stills. It's as though the very air around him has been stolen away. Palpatine. For a moment, Obi-Wan can't believe — how could he when Palpatine had remained right under their noses? The whole time? But his breath quickens as the Force breathes back.

It made sense. The Separatist movements, Palpatine's passive-aggressive use of the Order, forcing them into roles and denying their autonomy. His fondness for Anakin, the most malleable of them all. And Obi-Wan had let him.

For a moment, Obi-Wan can feel the cold, brutal rush of anger and his expressions tightens, even as he does not reply. ]

[evasives]

[cassian lets the silence hang in the air for a bit, because he did sort of drop a bombshell on the guy in a matter of seconds. he shifts on his feet and frowns more.]

[there's at least something of a reaction now, a quiet anger that's more collected than uninhibited which is #relatable.]

I am sorry for being the bearer of bad news. [he doesn't sound too earnest about that, but it's not dry either.] The galaxy has not been a kind place since in the years since.

[jedies]

The galaxy has not been a kind place in a long time.

[ The sound of a whip echoes in Obi-Wan's mind. Jedi make everything worse. This time though, Obi-Wan isn't so keen to lay that failure on his feet. ]

But I'm not inclined to give up because of bad news.

[ A beat. ]

Thank you.

[evasives]

[cassian snorts, a very bitter sound of agreement. it hasn't been kind since he was a child, and probably long before that.]

If it helps, there are those in the galaxy who have not given up either.

[he doesn't like being thanked for that, so he just ignores it, cool cool.]

[jedies]

[ His lips twitch faintly. ]

No. I would be surprised if they did.

[evasives]

[talking about the rebellion might lead to talking about himself, and he doesn't really wanna do too much of that yet. but it's almost impossible to avoid it, because it's so ingrained in him.]

More people are turning against the Empire every day.

[at least, it seemed that way. he'll never know for sure now.]

Their hold will not last forever.

[jedies]

[ Obi-Wan nods, albeit a little absently. A part of him is still reeling over the loss of the Jedi Order. His people. All orchestrated by a man they had seemingly trusted. ]

No. There is still hope.

[evasives]

[yeah, obi-wan definitely needs far more time to process, and there haven't even been as many details yet. a little break from this topic of conversation might help??]

I am Cassian. I suppose it's only fair you know.

[jedies]

I appreciate it.

[ And he smiles faintly. ]

How long have you been here?

[evasives]

[he can't possible appreciate all this terrible news, but maybe he's just being polite.]

Roughly a month. [saying it aloud is weird.] And you?

[jedies]

[ Huh. He runs a hand through his beard. ]

Nearly a month. That's an unusual coincidence.

[evasives]

[that's three people from the same universe, all around the same time. even if they're not all, apparently, from the same time.]

[dryly:] Perhaps the portal just decided it liked our galaxy.

[jedies]

Or the Force has its own agenda.

[ It wouldn't be the first time. ]

[evasives]

[oh right. the force. the thing he knows is real but never put too much stock in.]

I am not sure the force has any sway on the portal or this place as a whole.

[jedies]

You'd be surprised.

[ Obi-Wan may hate Mortis, may chalk it up to a mass hallucination . . . but he won't fully deny the possibilities it brought up. ]

[evasives]

[there's about three seconds of silence.]

Not really, no. The force has largely kept itself away from me.

[jedies]

"Kept itself away"?

[ What does that even mean. ]

It hasn't gone anywhere.

[evasives]

Maybe so, but it has not cared very much about what I do either.

[it's never felt that way to him before. maybe on scarif, at the very end, but cassian always put more trust in himself than the force.]

[jedies]

[ His lips twitch faintly. This, at least, was familiar territory. ]

It does often seem that way. The Force is enigmatic and it is hard to trust an enigma. But do you feel your actions accomplished something?

[evasives]

[he crosses his arms. this guy is almost too mystically vague, and that's saying something coming from mr. vague and evasive himself.]

They have, yes. But my actions are my own and do not belong to the force.

[jedies]

[ Obi-Wan doesn't even blink, easily picking up on the next train of thought. Philosophy and the nature of the Force are his areas of expertise and he's spent many years impressing this on Anakin. ]

Of course they are. Nothing belongs to the Force or even can be attributed to the Force. Being present does not mean it is responsible for what takes place.

[evasives]

[he's not super here for any sort of philosophical debate, but it irks him on a personal failure level that he can't figure out what obi wan thinks the force is doing in any kind of positive sense.]

Being present does not make it active. People can exist in a space and do nothing worthwhile.