riverviewlogs | [Closed] The sun does not cause us to grow

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[Closed] The sun does not cause us to grow

who: Dodger, Cain and Abel
what: Dinner with the magic twins. No the other ones.
when: Evening of September 1st.
where: Sixth floor, kitchen.
warnings: Dodger. Also: Probably a lot of suicide talk.

--

Like clockwork, Dodger shows up every week for food. It may not always be on the same day, but sooner or late he will crop up and demand it. There have been a few bumps in the road recently, but today he finally decides that he needs Cain's help.

When Dodger shows up he's not as actively shaken as he was when he got his locket, but this is more... subdued. He looks like he hasn't slept, or possibly even eaten, in days. It's normal for Dodger to skip a meal or two, or a few nights of sleep, if he's gotten himself very invested in something. But then he'll be glowing with tired pride, not looking like a corpse dragged ashore.

Without a word he slips into the seat he normally takes, and lays his head on the table with his arms crossed around it. For once, instead of lighting up at the prospect of Cain's cooking, it seems more like it's a ritual he has to suffer through.

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Although Cain never really got advanced notice when Dodger would show up, he was never all that surprised by it either. Case in point: he dealt with his brother (more recently) and numerous descendants (all the time) just popping in whenever they pleased in a much more startling manner. This was hardly anything.

It was a little weird, however, when his brother was right there and speaking with him after going it so long alone. Not a bad weird, just something he had to make a quick adjustment to this time. "Hold on," he said to Abel, eyes already tracking Dodger's movements.

He moved away from where he'd sat down and came up to lean onto the table to catch Dodger's gaze. "Dinner, Jamie?" he asked mildly. That Dodger might come for some other reason wasn't impossible, okay?

Dodger is silent for a moment. It's not that he doesn't want dinner, but... he just wants Cain nearby, that's the main motivation.

It's a moment later that he notices Abel is there, and... something in his face shows a hint of shame, looking like such a mess in front of such a cool guy. Even someone like Dodger isn't immune to that sort of embarrassment.

"I need to talk to you about something." He mutters, and adds after a pause, "...And dinner."

It was a good thing that Abel was in the habit of staying visible even to those without the Sight, otherwise this would have been a weird situation with Cain talking to himself briefly. He takes a moment before following Cain over and getting a proper look at Dodger, not recognizing him until he hears him and then everything clicks in place.

"Ah, it's you. It is good to finally put a face to a voice," Abel says in his usual monotone, not giving any indication of whether or not that was a good thing. "If you would like, I could leave if you two need some privacy."

On the plus side, it doesn't really seem like Abel has any opinion on what Dodger looks like, so there's that.

"You can trust him," Cain said, almost off-hand, toward Dodger at Abel's inclusion. He nodded to the request, patted Dodger on the hand and stood himself up. If nothing else, he could get dinner started while Dodger decided if he wanted to continue with or without Abel's presence.

Speaking of, while he started the prep, he glanced over at Abel. "My son can be very skittish, so be mindful of what you say if it's not about killing toys," he cautioned in Latin, using the language built in to give his brother a better idea of who Dodger was to him without outright saying it.

He glances questioningly at Cain when he hears the Latin, but... he knows very few words himself, mostly the ones that crop up in English conversation, so he can't follow it in any case. Instead he focuses on Abel, watching him carefully before nodding.

"Sure. He can stay."

Even if... it's not what he'd like, showing such a vulnerable side of himself in front of someone he'd hoped would become a fair-weather friend who wouldn't get into serious discussions with him. He guesses he doesn't really need those as much as he just wants them.

"Eichi Tenshouin went through the portal last Sunday." He starts cautiously. "I'm not... taking it so well."

Abel perches up on the table, no weight bearing down because he's a ghosts and thus currently has no actual physical form. There is the slightest hint of confusion at the word Cain used because it didn't make a lot of sense, so he mouthed the words for a second before he realized what his brother was going for.

"Tools! Or just use weapons, you idiot," he responded before settling in and looking in the direction of his brother, not wanting to give much indication that he was listening to the conversation. He didn't want to be rude, after all, and he didn't know this man quite as well as Cain seemed to.

Cain was torn between two very different reactions right then. He wanted to snap back at his brother and start up the banter borne of his rustiness with Abel's generation of Latin, but what Dodger just said was much more important. He lifted a finger to point partway at Abel and raise his brows. He knew his brother could tell Cain had just forgotten the word and approximated, don't give him that.

Then he fixed his expression and turned around to Dodger. His tone was sympathetic, genuinely so, and he definitely cast back to the time he'd carried Eichi to the hospital during a particularly bad episode. That kid had shitty health anyway, perhaps it would have been better for him back in his own reality if it was far less periled than this place.

"You were close with Eichi-kun, then? Not just during that time your head was muddled?"

He shakes his head.

"We were dating. Sort of."

He's not even sure what he should call it... even after sleeping with the idol and sharing a very tearful goodbye, he's still not completely sure where they stand. Just that, without Eichi here...

"...I need a good reason not to kill myself tonight."

With harassing his brother for not remembering words is off the table, Abel listens to what Dodger has to say. Having been around for as long as he has, Abel has dealt with all kinds of people in different situations.

"It's not your time," Abel says calmly. "You should kill others instead."

Normally, Abel wouldn't give out a person's time, even as vague as that was, but he felt it was needed in this situation. Though he's sure Cain wouldn't quite agree on his alternative option.

Cain tilted his head at the admission, then turned completely at Abel's suggestion. He paused, mouth opening, then closing slowly. He could understand the vague allusion to Dodger's time, even if he had yet to explain the fact that it was a known quantity to some people where he was from... but honestly, he wasn't all that upset by the suggestion, either.

People died when they died and plenty of times that death came from another person. As long as they weren't actually influencing it themselves (Cain would have tried pushing Dodger off the track regardless, after all), then it usually didn't alter anything.

"I mean," he said hesitatingly, "if that's actually what Jamie wanted to do. Other suggestion: you stay here, I show you how to cook and make cheesecake and then we can try to teach Abel to swing dance."

Dodger just sort of... slides his gaze toward Abel, giving him a questioning look at 'not your time'. What the hell does that mean, exactly...?

But Cain pulls his attention back, and he frowns at the options. He'd love that if he wasn't having such a horrible week... hell, if it had been suggested the day before Eichi left he would have jumped on it immediately.

"Are you even taking this seriously?" He mutters. He can't help looking a little hurt.

There isn't going to be an answer from Abel about his comment. If Cain wants to explain, he is welcome to go ahead, but Abel has already said too much. Getting a read on the room, he then slams his hand down on the table with actual force, trying to pull attention away from Cain at least a little bit.

"You prefer guns, correct?" He moves his hand up from the table and creates a knife with his magic, dark purple flames changing into the steel of a blade. It's embedded in the table, but Abel doesn't make a move to pull it out. "Unfortunately, this is the best I can offer without concentration. Take it."

Cain moved to sit down next to Dodger when he noticed the reaction, holding in a sigh. He was indeed taking it seriously but that didn't mean he was taking it gravely. Dodger probably didn't understand what he was getting at, but he would explain... after he turned to give Abel an uncertain eye.

"For himself or others?" he asked. Suggesting he go out and do harm was one thing, but giving him the instrument to do it (even to his own suicidal self) while he was in this current state of mind was probably not the best idea. Rather than follow that up, he turned back to Dodger and carefully took his hand.

"Very seriously. When you feel like this, sometimes the best you can do is find something to keep you going one more night. Make a plan, do something, anything, that isn't what you're thinking about doing."

Dodger flinches when Abel hits the table - and his eyes are trained on the knife afterward, as if trying to decide what he should do. Cain is right... it's dangerous to give him something sharp, in the state he's in, and it's only the fact that Cain is closer to him than the knife that keeps him from acting on his impulse.

"I'm sick of distracting myself. I do it every fucking day." His gaze slides back to Cain, and he knits his brow. "I don't need suggestions on sweeping my problems under the rug, I want to know why the fuck I should keep doing it."

The look from Cain causes Abel to pull the knife out of the table and idly play with it in his hands, not at all worried about harming himself. He doesn't have a solid form right now, so he doesn't have to care about damaging himself and leaving the damage to not heal.

"Do you want an answer or an excuse? I am sure we could give you both," Abel states calmly while looking at the knife. "Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what to believe is an answer or not. Personally, I am only around because I made a promise."

"Because you've still got things to do," Cain said easily. Half of his attention would always be on his brother, but that comment about a promise had his hand tensing around Dodger's. He knew that promise well, and part of him wondered if Abel actually remembered making it or just that it existed. His tie to the world that was more of a fact than real attachment. "I'm sure there's got to be things you want to try doing before you can't anymore."

He couldn't help, however, glancing over to Abel again. "You'll still be waiting on that promise a while," he said wryly. An apology.

Dodger furrows his brow, huffing softly as he pulls his hand away from Cain. He isn't impressed at all by these answers, and... to some extent it almost hurts, because he's come to rely so much on Cain giving him comforting answers.

"What's the point if I can't do any of it? The shit that I want to do." He shakes his head pointedly. "Half of it is impossible. And the other half... just isn't going to happen. And if all the effort I've put into it hasn't done it, there's no point in trying any more."

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[Closed] The sun does not cause us to grow

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this is so late sobs