riverviewlogs | introductory mingle: DRAGOSTA

Entry tags:

introductory mingle: DRAGOSTA

who: everyone in Riverview!
what: Introductory Log and Dragosta celebration
when: The month of September.
where: Anywhere around the city.
warnings: please put any necessary warnings in the subject lines

dragosta

In the days leading up to September 1st, residents new and old will notice preparations beginning, a flurry of activity getting the city ready for the upcoming celebration: Dragosta. This holiday is in celebration of romantic love, and seen as a time of the year for Quarantine residents to try to find someone special to cuddle up with in preparation for the cold winter months. Romantic love is highly valued in Riverview Quarantine, as it can foster an incredible sense of wellness and belonging, and is often the cornerstone of found families as well as biological ones. While there are no official city-sponsored parties, there are various holiday traditions and a paid day off on September 8th so anyone who wants to indulge in them with their loved one can do so.

a celebration of romantic love

Rather than anything structured and organized by the city, Dragosta is a celebration usually left up to the citizens of the city to organize for themselves - there are a few traditions that many businesses (obviously) capitalize on, mainly the tradition of special date nights with small gifts exchanged for people who've already matched up or want to. There are also various singles dances intended to help people without partners find someone to share the special holiday with, and a tradition among the various magic users in the city of preparing soul mate potions and spells intended to help people find the person they're meant to be with.

i. soulmates

Almost as soon as it hits midnight on August 31st, booths and street corner vendors are popping up all around the city offering various magical potions and spells in little rows of bottles. The number of types are overwhelming, with a different concoction available for every type of magic that exists across thousands of different worlds. But the purpose of every single bottle and its contents is exactly the same: to help you find love. Specifically, these are the traditional magics that promise to give anyone who uses them the ability to find or identify their soulmate.

These little bits of magic can have various effects on the person using them (reminiscent of the soulmate trope in fiction), depending on the type of magic and the person who prepared them, and the options are almost endless. There are a few comfortable standbys, though, that pop up pretty much every year:

● Rainbow Potion: Tiny bottles of a soft rainbow-colored potion that affects the vision. Once drunk, the potion will remove the partaker's ability to see in color until the first time they meet their soulmate after ingestion, then all the colors will come flooding back.
● Time Spell: Purchasing a time spell will get you a little vial of liquid with a tiny hourglass inside. Pouring out the liquid and turning the tiny hourglass will result in the appearance of a timer counting down on the partaker's skin somewhere - like a moving tattoo, it will count down the days, hours, minutes, and even seconds until the person will meet their soulmate for the first time after the spell is initiated.
● Red Thread: Some residents might've heard of the legend of the red thread of fate, a red thread that is tied between the ankles or little fingers of two people destined to fall in love. Tiny jars with a delicate red thread attached to a note (the contents of which are unreadable) are sold to invoke this legend. Once opened, the user should tie the red thread around their smallest finger on the left side and a red thread only that person and their soulmate can see will appear, tying them together. It may stretch or tangle, but will never break.
● Ink Potion: Small vials of a mysterious black liquid are one of the more common offerings - this liquid, once carefully spread on a portion of the partaker's skin, will result in a tattoo-like marking in a particular shape, that matches the marking that magically appeared on their soulmate!

While these are the most common types, there are almost infinite numbers of other types of potions, spells, and magics intended to help people find their soulmates, of varying type and quality.

A Few OOC Guidelines:
● Soulmate potions/spells can be used multiple times with different partners, and the effect can last as long (or as briefly) as you want it to.
● Since there is a wide variation of different types of potions/spells, they can vary in effectiveness. Feel free to use this prompt for either serious shipping or silly pairings for comedic effect.
● There is no compulsion involved in this prompt. The potions/spells will only show the character who their supposed soulmate is, not compel them to fall in love with the other character.
● Because there is no compulsion or alteration of behavior involved, and all effects are temporary and mildly annoying at most, characters ARE allowed to use them on other characters without asking. If your character wouldn't take one of the potions/spells, one of their friends can definitely spike their drink with a potion or use a spell on their behalf. Also, only one party has to use the potion/spell in order for it to work, both parties do not have to partake, though it is up to player discretion how heavily affected the person who did not partake is.
● A long list of trope ideas and variations can be found here. I've only included specific potions/spells for the most common ones I've seen, but please go as wild as you'd like with the types of potions and effects they have, so long as everyone involved is on the same page.
● Mod questions and plotting regarding this prompt can be found here.

ii. singles dances

All around the city, various businesses are hosting and sponsoring singles dances. These dances are an ancient tradition of Dragosta, originating from the reality of a very early group of displaced arrivals. Observed since the founding of Riverview Quarantine, the events have grown and changed with the times, still serving the interests of the modern citizen. The dances will be advertised throughout the city and range in quality, size, and tone, but they will always have the same objective and methodology: to match people up based on chemistry on the dance floor.

All singles or polyamorous pairings/groups looking to add additional members will sign in at the dance of their choice, and attach nametags or stickers to their clothing - pink, blue, or purple to indicate their preferences in partner (female, male, or any), and a "P" or "D" for "poly" or "duo" to indicate their preference for a polyamorous match-up or only one partner. Once they've indicated these preferences, they head out onto the dance floor, where they can either seek out someone they're interested in or wait for someone to come to them. As the dance goes on, and one person approaches another (or a group or pair), the person (or people) approached can either accept or reject the advances, and after finding someone with chemistry, the happy couple (or triad, etc.) can leave the floor together.

Every person who attends and participates will receive vouchers for free dinners and discounts or gift cards for various places in the city to have a nice dinner and get a present for a new paramour, or two or three...!

iii. date nights

This one is pretty simple: restaurants, clubs, hotels, movie theatres, and anything else in the city that might even vaguely be construed as a date location will be offering romantic date night packages, discounts, and other promotions to the lovebirds of the city. There are a few highly-anticipated special events that crop up every year, though.

One of the most popular are the movies in the park, hosted on almost every night of the month, these are romantic comedies and other good date movies from dozens of realities featuring romantic stories in a multitude of different configurations. Lovers are encouraged to bring a picnic blanket and settle on the grass for a nice relaxed show, or tickets can be bought for special experiences such as the mini-deck, with romantic table settings, wine, and catering with a waiter, or the cuddlebug, where a comfortable couch is set up with popcorn and blankets for the lucky lovebirds to curl up on together. The variations are endless!

Another popular option is a retro-futuristic drive-in experience, where any type of vehicle can be driven up to a temporary drive-in diner for a meal, and then pull up to a temporary outdoor theatre. Once parked, the lovebirds can "park" - that is, cuddle and neck in the car to their hearts' content, probably instead of actually watching the movie.

For this prompt, any type of date night discount is cool to assume, or make a mingle top-level with a special event of your own imagining and earn bonus activity points!

iv. kiss and tell

Something a little different is happening during Dragosta this year - one of the magic researchers at Gramarye, who was recently married and only just returned from her honeymoon, got hit with a confusion spell by accident. A little muddled and love-drunk, she acted on her intense desire to make everyone in the city feel just as happy as her, and shared the love by whipping up a potent spell to do so. As a result, residents will see bright little glowing 'fairy lights' floating around the city throughout the entire month of September. What do the fairy lights do, though?

Two or more characters walking under one of these glowing, floating lights will get stuck for one hour, trapped inside an invisible enclosure with an approximate three foot radius. The only options are to either wait out the hour, or to kiss! Characters will know they're meant to kiss, because part of the magic spell is the sudden and intense knowledge that they should kiss in order to break free. There is no compulsion to kiss, just the knowledge that that's how to get free. What the characters won't immediately know is that any kind of kiss will work - a hand, forehead, cheek, or butterfly kiss will work just as well as a kiss on the mouth, but that will require some experimentation to find out.

v. roommates or wildcard

Feel free to use this prompt to meet new roommates, for the purpose of getting to know each other, or hit up the mod-posted prompt to create a Communal Housing floor mingle. Or, if you have an idea for a prompt that isn't in this list, set during Dragosta, feel free to write it up!

visual inspiration

click on thumbnails for larger view

Credit: image i: Anya Goo; image ii & iv: unknown; image iii: Raphael Grimm

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[All of that is obvious to Eddie too, that it's not really the potion making them feel this way, but the fact that they felt this way already, that they both had hoped so badly, wanted so badly for it to point to each other that they're reacting this way. It's strange to him too, how right this feels. Worlds more than Taako had, even more than Iris had.

Eddie doesn't feel like he needs to prove himself to Cisco, doesn't feel like he needs to compete, either with other people or other things in his life. Doesn't feel like he can't slip, can't ask for things, can't be himself. When Cisco says that he was already imagining arguments with himself about why he was going to keep dating Eddie even if the potion didn't work, that they're in for some destiny shit that's not awful, Eddie smiles, bright and broad and amazed.

Kissing Cisco back feels right, and Eddie lifts his hands to cup his face, watches as Cisco reacts to his fingers in his hair, tilts his head, leans his cheek against Eddie's palm. For a moment, Eddie's heart feels so full and he's so excited about everything involved in this relationship, in what he and Cisco have.]

I think you're right. And I'm so, so glad it's happening with you.

[A sweet smile, and he leans in to kiss Cisco's mouth again.]

Picnic sounds perfect. I can start on some sandwiches, do you want to figure out dessert?

[ Cisco can't seem to stop grinning against Eddie's mouth even as he kisses him. When Eddie puts him on picnic dessert duty, Cisco immediately quips: ]

So dump a bunch of marshmallow candy in a bag, right?

[ He laughs, then, because he knows that Eddie isn't big on marshmallow candies, and he likes that he knows Eddie's likes and dislikes well enough to make that kind of a joke. Cisco steals one last quick kiss before he is spinning away, a flurry of happy movement and flying hair as he makes the preparations. He gathers a blanket, a giant canvas bag, and by the time Eddie gets to the kitchen to start work on the sandwiches Cisco joins him, digging around in the cupboards for some cookies that he knows he has stashed away.

It's so clear, just from the way that Cisco is moving, that bouncy and almost manic energy, just how happy he is. When Cisco is sad, or frightened, or defeated, he doesn't pace, or rage, or make a lot of movements or noise. Instead, he just goes still. So for Cisco, this kind of almost frenetic preparation is just an outpouring of his happiness.

He locates the cookies and tosses them into the canvas bag, grabs a bottle of wine from by the fridge and puts that in, too. They are celebrating, after all. ]

[At that suggestion, Eddie wrinkles his nose, laughing softly. It's nice, to feel so connected to someone that they know his likes and dislikes enough to make silly jokes about it. It's nice that Cisco flutters around all frenetic energy and happiness and helping Eddie set up the picnic.

He's halfway through building them some tuna salad sandwiches when Cisco bounds into the kitchen and starts digging out a package of cookies to add to the big blanket he has in the canvas bag for the picnic. Eddie grins when Cisco tosses in a bottle of wine, and raises his brows.]

I see you're planning to drink in public, huh? Naughty.

[His eyes are twinkling, though, bright as he puts the second of the sandwiches together and adds them to the picnic bag, then starts shuffling things around in the cupboards, looking for more things to add. After a poke in the fridge, he takes out a big box of strawberries and opens it, rinsing some off and transferring them to a plastic container to bring along with them, considers bringing some oranges too, before looking over at Cisco with a little smile. Less bright and effusive, but very genuine and with something warm and intensely fond behind it.]

You're so good. How are you so good?

Mhhmmm, you betcha. In flagrant disobedience to the laws of the land. What're you gonna do, huh? Arrest me?

[ Cisco wags his eyebrows, smirking as he fishes around in the cupboards for a bottle opener, tossing it into the bag, as well. He knows that Eddie loves his job, that it is very important to him and his identity. But he also knows that Eddie is far from the stickler for rules that Cisco had thought he must be, back in Central City when they'd first met. So it's fun to tease just a little, when it's an infraction as harmless as bringing a wine bottle along on their romantic picnic. Anyway, there was plenty of outdoor drinking during the festivals - sure, that was all sanctioned and monitored and the rest of it, but is it really that much of a difference?

He peers into the bag, considering what it might be missing, but it looks like their supplies are almost complete. He is just reaching up to pluck a pair of sunglasses off a bookshelf when Eddie asks how he is so good, and Cisco laughs, shaking his head and shrugging, because what is he even supposed to say to that? Agreeing with Eddie would be egotistical, but he knows if he tries to argue the opposite Eddie is not going to allow it. ]

No comment.

[ He comes over to where Eddie is placing the oranges in the picnic bag, hugs him from behind, burying his face between Eddie's shoulder blades and sighing happily. Everything feels so sharp and bright and happy, all the colors oversaturated and warm. ]

Ready?

Ooooh, you're gonna go there, huh? And right after I called you naughty too. [Shaking his head, Eddie grins broadly, shoots Cisco a little wink.] I mean, if you really want to be arrested, who am I to say no...

[Truth is, Eddie's not really a stickler for the kind of rules that really don't hurt anyone if they're broken. A little wine on a picnic isn't going to do any damage, so he sees no real reason it merits more than a bit of flirtatious joking around.

When Cisco peers into the bag and seems to deem it complete, Eddie smiles and picks it up as Cisco gets his sunglasses. Eddie's feeling so much better than he has since morning, since the colours drained out of his vision. It's stupid, but somehow this just makes his relationship with Cisco seem more real, more committed, and that feels so good it almost hurts.]

Ready whenever you are. Where are you thinking we should go? Down by the beach?

Never been arrested before. Might be kind of a thrill. Especially if it's you...

[ Cisco is definitely leaning on the innuendo, now, being way unsubtle with the smug smiles and eyebrow wags. The truth is, he wouldn't mind trying a little of that in the bedroom, but for now he is mostly teasing his boyfriend, trying to see if he can make him blush in that adorable way he does, where the red goes all the way up to the roots of his hair. ]

Is there something in the police handbook about not having to arrest your soulmate? Like... a conflict of interest or whatever? Or is that just lawyers. You'd think I would know this stuff after consulting for the CCPD but nope.

[ It's mostly just an excuse to say 'soulmate' again, which Cisco thinks he is going to be doing for the rest of the day. Possibly the rest of the week, depending on whether Eddie gets sick of it or not. ]

Beach sounds good. We can go for a walk after we eat?

[ He distinctly remembers 'walk on a beach' being a feature in Eddie's ideal date, when they'd discussed them a while back. True, it's not going to be sunset for many hours, but better than nothing, right? ]

Oh believe me, I can make it a thrill.

[Eddie winks at him, grinning a bit, enjoying the fact that they can flirt like this with real intention, without it being awkward or weird. When Cisco asks if there's some conflict of interest about a police officer arresting his soulmate, and he feels a little thrill at it. Wonders if Cisco's saying it because he feels that thrill too.]

Well, I've never seen anything in the RPD handbook about not having to arrest your soulmate, but I think they'd probably make an exception if I was just, you know. Punishing you for being very naughty.

[A laugh, and then he lets go of it, picks up the bag and slings it over his shoulder, reaches out for Cisco's hand and twines his fingers between Cisco's fingers, squeezing gently.]

That sounds great. Honestly, I'm starving and I can't imagine anything better than sitting in the sunshine with you.

[A pause, and he tilts his head, glancing over toward the younger man for a moment.]

I...I've kind of been wanting to ask you something, anyway.

Is that a promise?

[ Cisco can't really keep a straight face any longer - he dissolves into giggles, and lets it go. They're about to head out and he doesn't want anyone to overhear them flirting about arresting one another.

As soon as Eddie's fingers are laced with his, Cisco starts heading out the door, grabbing nothing but his keys and those sunglasses. He perches them on his face and opens the door just as Eddie says there's been something he's been meaning to ask. On a different day, in a different mood, those words might have sent Cisco into a spiral of worry and fear. But it just goes to show how unbreakable his good mood is that he doesn't even fret a little.

He locks the door behind them and leads the way down the street, meandering in the direction of the beach, Eddie's hand and his joined and swinging gently between them. ]

Sure, shoot.

Of course. You know me. I always follow through on my threats, right?

[It's a light joke, and they head out into the early autumn sun together, Eddie smiles as he looks around. The weather is great and he feels good. Better than he has in a long time, like some weight is lifted and everything is okay, going to be okay. Except for one nagging little worry.

After a moment, he takes a long breath and glances over at Cisco as the younger man prompts him to start with his question.]

I just...I know I'm going to be staying here. I can't go back to Central City. So I keep feeling a little worried about this, about you and me. We're soulmates... [A pause, he can't help but smile about that, ducking his head.] But I'm a little scared that if your number comes up, if they find the way home like they did for Caitlin, that you're going to leave.

[Ducking his head, he looks at the ground.]

I know you said you wanted to stay here before, but...why? Why do you want to stay here when you have so much going for you back at home?

[ The question surprises Cisco, a little, and he doesn't bother to hide that, but it isn't a bad surprise. He just hadn't expected this was something Eddie worried about. It's so decided, in his mind. Has been for a while. But he realizes that even though he'd told Eddie, he hadn't ever really laid out the reasons to him. Not the way he had to some other people who had asked. Eddie had been sad and messed up over his breakup with Taako, and Cisco had been more focused on comforting him. ]

I don't just want to stay. I'm going to stay.

[ Cisco says it without hesitation, voice full of conviction, hand tightening around Eddie's ]

Think about it. What's better - living on an awesome moon with all this super advanced tech, and dope ruins, and freakin' magic, and aliens from all over the multiverse, or Missouri?! I mean... come on. We're somewhere over the rainbow right now, why would I ever wanna go back? You gotta admit, like, as a society, this place kinda kicks Earth's ass. Nobody here gives a shit if I'm a meta, or my name's Ramon, or if I've got long hair, or a boyfriend.

[ But it isn't enough, just to talk about how this place is better, and Cisco knows it. He needs to disillusion Eddie about his life back in Central City. Which is a little sad, and a little embarrassing, but better than letting Eddie go on worrying about something he definitely doesn't need to worry about. ]

I didn't have a lot going for me, I mean. I... told you already, my family's not gonna miss me. I loved helping to save the city, but I can help people here. I can help more here, make a bigger difference. And Barry and Caitlin... [ He breaks off a moment, a little of that impenetrable happiness leeching away. He swallows, speaking in a careful and light way that betrays him: ] ...they don't really need me around. Or even... want me around all that much. So. I'd rather be here.

[To Eddie, it doesn't make much sense that Cisco would want to stay here, not when he has so much going on back home - a respected position helping out more than one superhero team, a group of friends that are almost like family, a whole life. He's not like Eddie, who has nothing but a fiancée who would've left him soon anyway if he hadn't died. But Cisco seems so sure of himself, so certain that he's going to stay, like it's something already decided and not something that he's just sort of considering because of this new relationship with Eddie, something that Eddie would never imagine could be worth giving up an entire life for.

But when Cisco starts listing off the reasons, Eddie can imagine how those things seem appealing to Cisco in the short term, like they might be something worth capturing his interest for now, something he might consider staying for. Aliens and tech and magic and ruins and this kind of life is something he can see appealing to someone like Cisco, who loves those things in pop culture, who's embraced them as they work their way into his real day-to-day life. The social stuff...that makes sense too. Eddie squeezes Cisco's hand, gentle and careful.]

I get that. And I totally agree about this place being way better as a society than back home. I guess I just always thought you'd be really intent on going back and trying to make our world that way...

[But Cisco isn't done explaining what's going through his head, and Eddie falls quiet as Cisco continues, explaining that he didn't have much going for him. That his family wouldn't miss him, that he can help more people here than he could at home. And then Cisco says the thing that Eddie suspects is the crux of the whole issue, of Cisco's desire to stay here. That Barry and Caitlin don't want or need him around that much.

For a few long moments, Eddie's quiet, and he squeezes Cisco's hand again, looking ahead of himself with his lower lip caught between his teeth, considering what he's going to say before he says it.]

What happened, with you three? [A pause, and then, cautiously.] I mean, as much as I want to be selfish, and just tell you that staying is totally the right call, I can't. I want you to be happy, more than anything. And...it's hard, to believe that Barry and Caitlin don't want you or need you. I've seen you guys, you're like family...what could have changed that?

Nothing happened.

[ It is an automatic response, quick and just a touch defensive. A lie, and a bad one, and Cisco knows that the second he says it. Maybe there's a reason he and Eddie hadn't had this conversation until now, that isn't just because Cisco hadn't gotten around to it. It's much harder, talking about this with Eddie, precisely because he'd known Barry and Caitlin, had seen the three of them together.

Cisco turns with Eddie down the right street to head towards the river, and he swallows, saying in jerky, hesitant stops and starts. ]

It's not like we had a big fight. It wasn't... an event. Just- after the singularity they just- didn't want me around anymore. The first time we thought Ronnie died, with the particle accelerator explosion, and Dr. Wells was in the hospital and the media was a shitshow, Caitlin and me... we helped each other through it. But this time she- just never wanted to see me. I kept making plans and she kept canceling. I'd show up to her apartment and she wouldn't- she'd always have an excuse not to let me in. She got a job at Mercury Labs and after that just. Stopped calling back. Or answering my texts. I had to show up to her work to beg her to help when Atom Smasher was making trouble.

[ Cisco can feel Eddie looking over at him, as he talks, knows somehow that if he turns he will see - what? Horror? A sympathetic look? A gently baffled face, like he's making a big deal out of nothing? Maybe he is. But Eddie had asked, had insisted, so... Cisco is going to tell it as he'd experienced it. ]

It was the same thing with Barry. He- just didn't want to be the Flash anymore. I tried to ease him back into it but he wouldn't budge. I tried so many times. But... after a while I took the hint so I tried just- you know, I just wanted to see him as friends, but maybe I reminded him of Dr. Wells or something, I don't know. He avoided me, too. I'd text him a stupid meme and he wouldn't text back for two weeks, and it'd just be 'lol' or something like that. A couple times- cause I started consulting with the CCPD... a couple times I'd show up to Joe's because I had a question about work stuff, and Barry'd be there and he just. Would leave.

[ He knew that probably Barry had wanted to let them work in peace and privacy. Probably. But it didn't make it feel any less awful. Cisco looks down at their hands, Eddie's fingers laced with his. His voice is quieter as he finishes: ]

I know they were going through a lot, and they're both just... the kind of people who need space when stuff's bad maybe, but. I was going through some stuff, too. With the... you know. PTSD stuff, and the oh shit I'm a meta stuff. I didn't even want anything from them I just- wanted them around. But like. Even I can take a hint eventually.

[At first, Eddie thinks Cisco is just going to say that nothing happened and try to brush it off at that. Try to leave it at that. In fact, he's already ramping up and figuring out the words he wants to say when Cisco clams up afterward, all the gentle things he'll say to wheedle it out of him, to try to get him to open up. But he gives Cisco a little space before starting in on that, a little time to decide if he wants to open up more on his own.

After a few turns and some decent progress toward the beach, Cisco starts speaking and Eddie's almost a little surprised by how much he says. Staying silent, Eddie just listens, looking over at Cisco as frequently as he can while still walking, holding his hand and squeezing gently every time Cisco trails off a little, as if he might stop speaking, making little encouraging noises in his throat, eyes on his boyfriend. He really listens to what Cisco is saying, trying to read between the lines, but frankly there isn't much left to the imagination, Cisco is being pretty clear about what he's thinking and feeling, which Eddie thinks probably means Cisco's feeling pretty intense about it.

After Cisco is done his explanation, Eddie's quiet for a few more moments, just parsing things, working out what he wants to say, how he wants to say it. For a long moment, he's torn, very torn, because he desperately wants Cisco to stay here with him, wants Cisco to want to stay, doesn't want to be afraid that Cisco is going to go home. But he doesn't want it to be because Cisco thinks Barry and Caitlin don't care about him. Doesn't want it to be out of spite or because Cisco is feeling hurt. He wants, ultimately, what is best for Cisco, what will make Cisco happy.]

I get that. I get feeling abandoned, and left behind, and like your problems don't matter. They matter a lot, by the way, and I'm always, always here for you to talk about them if you need to. But...

[Pausing, he licks his lips a bit, eyes downcast as he speaks, carefully.]

If there's one thing I learned from being with Iris, it's that people can love each other very, very much but still be incompatible emotionally. Unable to give each other what they really need. It's natural to want support and compassion from friends when things are hard, at least to me, and to you. Like you said, Caitlin and Barry needed space to deal with grief and guilt.

[Eddie squeezes Cisco's hand, gentle and firm, and then looks over at him, eyes searching his profile.]

I don't think that means they don't love you. I think it means they didn't have the resources to be able to give you what you need. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being hurt by that, or questioning if they're friendships you can maintain and still be safe and taken care of, but I don't think it means they don't love you or don't want you around.

[Swallowing hard, he holds his breath for a moment, then exhales, pausing and reaching out to take Cisco's other hand, facing him, holding eye contact.]

Cisco...don't get me wrong. I think your feelings are completely justified, and I want you to stay here with me. More than anything. I just don't want you to make that choice from a place of anger or bitterness or feeling like you're not wanted back home.

[ Cisco knows that Eddie is right; it's what he'd hoped, what he'd told himself with every missed coffee date and unanswered text. He shouldn't expect Barry and Caitlin to be anyone but who they were, and a logical part of his brain knows that isn't a reflection on him. But... it still hurts. Some of that hurt is in the little lopsided smile on his face as he sighs: ]

I guess so.

[ It surprises him, when Eddie stops, turns to take his other hand and face him, Cisco looks up at him, the determination and gentleness in his face. It makes his heart skip a little, hearing Eddie say he wants him to stay more than anything. And he can tell there is some anxiety beneath this - that if Cisco makes this decision for the wrong reasons he will later change his mind, leave Eddie behind. And for all the reasons he'd just said, Cisco knows how awful it feels, being abandoned.

So leans up on his tiptoes and plants a kiss on Eddie's cheek, soft and quick, before he reassures: ]

I already told you, I'm not going back. That's not something that's changing. I was never angry or bitter, I just... I realistically re-evaluated how much I was needed there. And what I needed. Okay? I'm not... staying because this is the next best thing and I'm annoyed with them. I'm staying 'cause I want to, and I don't feel guilty about it because I know now that Barry and Caitlin can do just fine without me.

[ He kisses Eddie's other cheek and then pulls his hands free, so he can cling to Eddie's arm as he starts them walking towards the river once more. ]

[Eddie can see it, that Cisco doesn't entirely buy what he says, doesn't quite internalize the fact that his friends love him, or maybe something else, something Eddie can't quite decode on his own. Cisco doesn't seem to be overly forthcoming about it either - 'I guess so' isn't exactly an overwhelming endorsement of what Eddie was saying, isn't exactly agreement either. But for now, Eddie doesn't push it, doesn't demand more, even though he can tell it's brewing under the surface. Some things are best left until they come up more naturally, and not outside in public, on a good day where good things have happened.

But Eddie doesn't just leave it be for good, either. He notes it in his mind as something to bring up later, gently, when Cisco seems ready.

For now, he just smiles a bit, looking at Cisco as he reassures him, his voice gentle and kind, that he wants to stay here with him. That it isn't because he's bitter or angry, but because he didn't feel like he was very needed, like Barry and Caitlin will be okay without him. For a moment, Eddie's throat feels tight, because it hits him then, that he wouldn't be okay without Cisco, and that's a feeling that's both scary and wonderful at the same time.

It takes a few moments before he can speak, and during that time, Cisco has them moving again, toward the river. Eddie keeps his head down a little bit, licks his lips, and when he speaks, his voice is a little raw. More than a little vulnerable.]

I think...I don't want to say it because I feel like it's...like it's, you know, manipulative to say, but...

[A hard, dry swallow.]

...I don't think I would. Do just fine without you, I mean. I don't think I could.

[ Cisco hears it in his voice even before Eddie gets to anything particularly emotional, that he's about to say something important. He turns to face him as they walk, seeing the way Eddie hesitates, how he has to pull the words free. It makes Cisco's heart ache with fondness. How could he have been so wrong about Eddie, when they first met? Thought he was shallow, and effortless, and simple. When the truth is, he's entirely the opposite.

What Eddie says... after he'd been thinking about Barry, and Caitlin, and that whole period of his life... it's a lot to process.

Maybe the right thing to do is disagree with Eddie. Try to insist that he would be okay all on his own, that he is mature and independent and self-sufficient. But the fact is, as they've just been discussing, Cisco had gotten a hard crash course in just how fucking awful it can be without having someone close. To be on his own. And sure, Eddie has friends here. Coworkers. Yuri. But it's not the same, and he knows it.

So he just comes in closer, wrapping an arm around Eddie's waist. It makes the walking slower, and more ungainly, but right now Cisco doesn't care. ]

I... I don't, um. I don't think I'd do fine without you, either.

[ Cisco turns away from Eddie, only to rest his temple against Eddie's shoulder as they walk. Clumsily, he explains: ]

With them, I didn't- just before I came through the portal here, we got the team back together. Took down a couple metas. But it wasn't... I was so terrified I'd say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing and scare them off. I didn't even realize it, but I was suffocating. I didn't want them to know... anything going on in my life. That I was a meta, or... anything.

[ He doesn't know if he's told Eddie that, before. That even Barry and Caitlin never knew about his powers. That Eddie was the first (well, apart from Stein, and Eobard). ]

But with you, I want you to know everything. 'Cause... I'm not afraid, when I'm with you.

[Eddie couldn't articulate how nice it feels when Cisco moves over closer to him, wraps an arm around his waist and huddles in close against his side, pressing against him, making his presence obvious and impossible to ignore. It's good, he feels safe, his eyes sink shut just for a moment before smiling a little, and when Cisco says he doesn't think he'd be fine without Eddie, he exhales, licks his lips, and looks down at Cisco with an expression of raw joy.

He almost feels guilty about how good it feels to know Cisco needs him around. He should want Cisco to be self-sufficient and independent and totally fine, and it's true that he does want those things. But at the same time, he thinks it would feel good to have that self-sufficient independent person need him around to be completely happy. Cisco's head rests against his shoulder, and for a moment, Eddie can barely breathe with how much he's feeling, mixed bittersweet emotions.]

I know it's wrong, but...I'm glad.

[And Eddie falls silent again as Cisco explains how his relationship with Caitlin and Barry had been, the ways that he'd been afraid of them, felt unsafe and insecure, that they'd gotten the team back together but Cisco hadn't been able to open up. Hadn't felt okay with them knowing about the things in his life, that he's a meta. Eddie's arm comes up around Cisco's shoulders and he squeezes, gently, feels a little overwhelmed as Cisco says that he's not afraid when he's with Eddie.]

I...I don't know what to say, Cisco. I just know that...that I'm so glad that you feel safe with me. That's all I want, for you to feel safe and not afraid and...and happy. I want to see you smile, that real smile where it lights up your eyes like sunshine. I want to feel all your warmth. I want to listen to all your thoughts and feelings.

[Shrugging a little, Eddie glances downward, sucking in a deep breath.]

I really like this. I really like you.

I don't think it's wrong.

[ He says it simply, but without hesitation. Cisco has always valued company and community and collaboration, had not had ideals about autonomy and self-sufficiency drummed into him to the same degree that Eddie had, because of cultural differences, and because of the sort of people Eddie's parents are versus the sort of people Cisco's parents are. So it doesn't seem wrong to him one bit, that people should be necessary to one another, and happy about it.

When Eddie talks about his smile lighting up his eyes like sunshine, the solemnity of the moment breaks a little as Cisco bursts into laughter, flattered and hot-faced and giggling. He laughs and smiles in that way that makes his eyes go small and scrunchy (and, indeed, bright like sunshine), that shows off all his teeth, even the slightly crooked ones a little further back. ]

All of them? You sure? That's an awful lot...

[ But he sounds more gently teasing than actually nervous about it, and he leans up impulsively to plant a kiss on Eddie's cheek. He feels even better than he had earlier, glad that they had gotten that over with, laid things out clearly and set Eddie's worries to bed. ]

Yeah, I really like you, too. [ With a hint of laughter in his voice: ] Soulmate.

[There's something reassuring about the way Cisco says he doesn't think it's wrong. It doesn't occur to Eddie that the value placed on self-sufficiency might be a cultural difference - all he knows is that he's always valued a strong sense of self in a partner and felt a little guilty when he was pleased at a partner needing him.

There's no doubt in his mind, though, that Cisco is necessary to him, and when Cisco says it's okay to feel it, he takes a moment to just revel in being pleased that Cisco needs him too. Squeezing Cisco's hand, he glances over at him as he smiles in that particular way that lights his face from the inside, all his joy shining through in that beautiful way Eddie can't get enough of.]

I know it's a lot. But believe me, I want to hear all of them. I really like the stuff going on inside you, even when it's hard or sad, you know? It's part of you, and I really like, you know, learning about you. Knowing you.

[A beat, and he smiles back brightly as they head into the park.]

Soulmate.

[With a little laugh of his own, Eddie leads them into the park, glancing around for a place to sit in the grass, the river winding by lazily.]

What a good day.

[ Cisco follows along beside Eddie, and together the two of them find a good spot, under the shade of a tall tree. Little spots of light keep dancing over the grass as a light breeze tosses the tree's branches gently, and there's almost not one here - whether they're working or availing themselves of all the formal couple's events around town, who knows. But it's nice and rather private.

The moment that Eddie sits down, Cisco stretches out across the blanket, obstructing most of it and resting his head in Eddie's lap, hands folded on top of his stomach and beaming. ]

So I'm allowed to tell people about the potion and the soulmate thing, right? Like if you want me to keep it a secret I guess I can, but...

[ But he really doesn't want to. Sure, he's not going to post about it on the network, but there's a few people he wouldn't mind bragging to. Billy. Kate. Maybe Ed, who had seen him when he was struggling over whether to drink the potion or not. ]

[The spot they end up settling in is beautiful, a sun-dappled little patch of grass under a tall tree, in a nice little secluded area of the park. As much as Eddie's looking forward to the contents of the picnic bag, he can't help but think he's looking forward to lying back and letting Cisco lie against his chest and look up at the sky through the leaves above them.

When Cisco settles down with his head in Eddie's lap, Eddie's fingers go into his hair immediately, instinctively, stroking it back from Cisco's temple and behind his ear.]

Of course. I mean, why wouldn't you be allowed to?

[The tone he says it in doesn't exactly match the words - what he says sounds matter-of-fact, off-hand, but the tone is different. Light, a little disbelieving. Cisco actually wants to brag about their relationship, and after how his relationship with Iris had started, that's...well, it's a little overwhelming, in a good way.]

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introductory mingle: DRAGOSTA

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