(closed) god, it’s been a hell of a week

[scholiast]

who: lucretia + others (hmu if you'd like a starter!)
what: catch all for a couple things + canon update time :)
when: end of aug start of sep
where: here there everywhere
warnings: will be updated if they occur

Comments

[dancingmd]

(It's not so surreptitious, when they are so close to each other, but Beverly won't call attention to it. No wonder Lucretia didn't want to be alone after leaving Taako's.)

Do these dreams happen often?

[scholiast]

Yes. Less than they used to, but they always flare up whenever I'm stressed.

(Having a year's worth of bad memories makes for substantial nightmare material, unfortunately.)

[dancingmd]

I used to have them, after Jack... Perhaps it might help if you talk to a therapist about it? I know it helped me and Wesley both to go to a grief counselor.

[scholiast]

A therapist?

(She's never thought of that before– but, then again, during the stolen century it hadn't been possible to seek this kind of help, nor much easier after it. Too busy. But here she has a lot of time on her hands, and the means.

She's silent for a long moment before she speaks again.)

I... I don't know. I'll think about it.

[dancingmd]

Please do. I know it can be a bit... scary to think about but I really do think it will help.

But right now, what do you need? I'll stay up with you as long as you want.

[scholiast]

Okay.

(She takes her hand back from Beverly so she can give her eyes a final wipe, before running both hands through her hair with a sigh. Now that she's starting to calm down she just feels quiet, pensive.)

Oh, I'm– I'm not going to go back to sleep. (If she tried she'd only wake herself up again in another hour or so. The forced alertness always accompanies the nightmares, takes her back to a time where she was constantly, painfully aware of the people chasing her, hunting her down.)

You should, though. I'll just– get up, do some work.

[dancingmd]

(Beverly lifts her head and with a knitted brow, considers Lucretia before shaking her head.)

I won't be able to sleep if you can't.

[scholiast]

(Oh.

Lucretia gives her a tired smile.)

If you want to stay up all night too I suppose I can't stop you. I promise that I'm fine. It's just– if I try to sleep I'll probably have more nightmares, so.

[dancingmd]

I understand. I just don't want you to be alone.

[scholiast]

I... (Lucretia's expression turns stricken; for a moment, she's concerned she might cry again, but manages to hold it back after a few deep, even breaths.)

I don't really want to be alone, either.

[dancingmd]

(No, no, no, she sees that expression and worries for a moment that she said the wrong thing. The desire to fix this, to make it better is intense, though she knows there's no easy solution.

Instead, she settles on a hug.)

You won't be.

[scholiast]

(On the contrary, Beverly absolutely said the right thing. Lucretia isn't used to talking about this: she had shoved it all down after the fact and left it to simmer away in the back of her mind, because it was easier. She's belatedly aware that she's paying for that negligence now.

A hug is greatly appreciated; Lucretia sinks into her embrace, and links her arms gently around Beverly's waist with a sigh.)

Thank you. I know this is a lot, but– it really helps.

[dancingmd]

(Beverly will hold her for as long as she needs, rubbing her back gently.)

It's what friends are for.

[scholiast]

Yeah.

(This is something that she needs to remind herself of, instead of assuming she's only burdening people by talking to them about what happened. She lets Beverly hold her for a little bit longer, then pulls away, smiling quickly, embarrassed as she wipes her eyes again.)

[dancingmd]

(She smiles back, then reaches over to her bedside table for a tissue, which she hands to Lucretia.)

Here.

[scholiast]

(Lucretia exhales in a big rush as she takes it gratefully.)

Okay, I think I'm done. (Crying, that is.) I'm gonna get up.

[dancingmd]

Okay. Do you need me to get you anything?

[scholiast]

I'm good, I know where the kettle is.

Will you go back to sleep if I promise to wake you up if I need anything?

[dancingmd]

(She hesitates, wanting to stay with Lucretia but then she gives in and nods.)

If you're sure.

[scholiast]

I'm sure. And I promise.

(She pulls back the covers, swinging her legs around to stand.)

Is... uh, is it okay if I leave the door slightly open, though? Just so I... know that somebody's there.

[dancingmd]

Of course.

(She smiles softly.)

Good night.

[scholiast]

See you in the morning.