riverviewlogs | [open] cancel your reservations

who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all, amnesia event
when: august
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up!
warnings: discussion of murder, use of alcohol to cope, will add more as needed

i. pre-amnesia (august 5-10)

[ Cisco knows that he is probably opening himself up to a world of headaches and unnecessary trouble, but there have been plenty of new arrivals, and more and more he is noticing that people who show up from non-technologically advanced worlds simply have no support system to really teach them all the cool things they can do even with their phones, not to mention other machines and devices. So, one day when there's a lull between projects for the RPD and other emergency services, he goes to a print shop and has flyers made:

TECHNOLOGICAL CULTURE SHOCK??? NEED LESSONS ON HOW TO USE YOUR PHONE, LAPTOP, OR OTHER ELECTRONIC GADGET??? STOP BY THE ADDRESS BELOW FOR A FREE INFORMAL LESSON!!!

Normally it's the kind of announcement he would make over the network, but what if someone is really struggling and can't even get on there? No, flyers seem like the way to go for this crowd. Cisco adds some fine print at the bottom, below the address for his workshop, but all it says is:

*NO HIDDEN AGENDA JUST A HELPFUL DUDE WANTING TO SHARE THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY, LESSONS ARE FREE BUT TRIBUTE PAID IN CANDY IS ALWAYS ACCEPTED]

ii. amnesia (august 12-19)

[ The changes in Cisco are not, at first, as obvious as they may be in other people. He remembers Riverview, and everyone he has met here, and all the details of his life in this place. He remembers his name, all the movies and video games that he loves, all the technical skills and scientific know-how necessary for his job. He even remembers most stuff about his own past - that he worked at S.T.A.R. Labs, that he's a member of Team Flash and friend to Barry Allen. That he is a metahuman, with various abilities tied to manipulating multidimensional energy.

The only thing that has been carved away from his memory is, in fact, Eobard Thawne. Cisco doesn't remember his mentor's betrayal, or being murdered, or the circumstances that surrounded him discovering his powers. All of the shame and dread he's been carrying about his powers, because of Eobard and the things he'd said and done, has just vanished. In addition, Cisco's trauma over that whole experience is, for the moment, covered over. To anyone who knows him even a little he will seem inexplicably younger. Quicker to smile and laugh, volumes more trusting, and also a lot more inclined to talk about some guy named Dr. Wells in a positive, even devoted manner.

Cisco will spend this week doing what he usually does - working at his workshop (still offering those lessons), trying out new restaurants, shopping for graphic tees and games and movies, exploring the safe parts of the city a little - but with an extra spring in his step. If you've wanted your character to find out about him being a metahuman, now would be a good time for it! ]

iii. post-amnesia (august 20-31)

[ The not-remembering? Had been good. But when that's done, and all of Cisco's memories are restored to him, the transition is... rough. Putting it mildly. Back when all of it had happened, there had been so much going on - one life-or-death situation after the other - that he hadn't had time to linger too much on how he was changing, being shaped into an older, sadder, more broken version of himself.

Now, though, there is no big crisis, no distraction to divert his attention. One minute he is the old, sunny Cisco - the one he still thinks of as the person he was supposed to be - and the next, it all comes rushing back. The contrast is stark, and it's kind of fucking him up a little. Or, rather, a lot.

He goes back to having nightmares almost as often as he did in those first weeks after his death, which means he isn't getting a whole lot of sleep, and it shows in the dark circles under his eyes. Cisco withdraws somewhat - not enough to worry that he's abandoning anyone, but he takes longer to answer texts, doesn't reach out to people first, doesn't go out and about in the evenings. He is quieter, with considerably more strain behind his smiles. He throws himself into his work, staying in his workshop long hours, sometimes falling asleep there, for a few fitful hours. When he can't work any more, he spends a little more time than he should in some nearby bars, drinking a little more than he ought to, trying not to think about the person he is now compared to the person he was the week before. ]

iv. misc

[ Come plot something! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I mean, it's- [ Yuri started, and then had to stop, his throat feeling tight, eyes stinging. He scowled, squeezing them shut and folding in on himself again, hiding his face away, because the last thing he wanted to do was be caught crying. He didn't cry, not over this shit. Not anymore. He refused to be so hurt by it-

But if only telling himself that was enough to make it stop hurting. ] It's not like it matters. They're gone. So fuck it, right? [ Yuri forced himself to laugh, hoping that it didn't sound as soft, as sad and broken as it felt. Cisco was right, maybe too right. Yuri did feel like the flaw was with him. That he hadn't been something he should have been, and it left him flawed. No wonder Viktor and Yuuri hadn't wanted him, no wonder Viktor hadn't wanted to stay on as his coach like he had promised. No wonder they all left-

No wonder, because not even his mother had wanted him around. ]

It's a- like a hotel. Built over a natural hot spring, but Japanese style, obviously. [ Yuri's throat was still too tight, his emotions too close to his sleeve for his liking. It made him want to scream, want to rage and shout and get angry... if only so that he wouldn't burst into tears. ]

Stupid asshole, I don't even want it. A business is too much work. Th'hell am I going to do with it, I'm not like that fat pig who grew up in the stupid place. I wouldn't even know where to start.

Edited 2017-09-17 07:31 (UTC)

Well... it matters to me that they did that. 'Cause... I mean, I hope you don't mind me saying this but I'm gonna say it anyway, fuck them.

[ He can see how hard Yuri is working not to cry, to convince Cisco - and maybe himself - that he's hard and tough and invulnerable. Cisco doesn't buy it. Not for a second. But he knows that if he says anything about how it's okay to cry, and own up to that hurt, Yuri will probably react with hostility. So instead, he just gets up and moves over on the couch, closer to where Yuri is curled up. ]

I'm gonna hug you, okay?

[ Cisco might phrase it like a question, but he doesn't wait for permission, and he clearly isn't really about to accept a refusal. Not when Yuri is so hurt, and so guarded, and so clearly in need of being held. He's such a small person, and sitting so compactly, that it is easy for Cisco to wrap his arms around him, draw him in close and not let go. ]

I know it's not exactly the same, but you got people here who care about you, okay? There's Eddie, and... me, too.

[ He's sure there are others, too - that DJ guy Yuri is always spending so much time with, and his friends. But what's important right now, Cisco thinks, is making sure Yuri knows that this is his home. That the people who live with him are invested in him, and his happiness. ]

That sounds way fucking complicated. I wouldn't know what to do with a business, either. Maybe, like, you can... sell it? Or find somebody willing to run the business and just pass some profits off to you? I don't know... maybe ask Eddie, he seems like he'd know more about that kind of thing than I would.

[ It's not much, by way of advice, but at least it's something. ]

[ The soft noise of protest that slipped from him at the other's words said it all about how Yuri felt in regards of Cisco saying that it mattered. Mostly because Yuri was trying so hard to act like it just didn't matter, and damn it, if he was going to sell that he was going to go all out and stick to his guns. Do everything he could to act like he wasn't hurt. No matter how much that was a lie.

Yuri squashed his face in against his knees, squeezing his eyes shut and curling his toes so tight that he could feel the muscles in his feet begin to charlie horse; cramping them purposefully for the grounding ache of it. At the other's shift, Yuri huffed, getting ready to tell the other not to, that he didn't even like hugs-! But before he could even get it out, Cisco had already wrapped his arms around him, and what could Yuri do?

He gave a cursory, protesting squirm, at least. He had an image to uphold, after all. ]

I don't need to be babied. [ He mumbled, lifting his head out of his knees, enough to rest his head on Cisco's shoulder, not even making a half-hearted attempt to push the other away. ] Like I said- it doesn't matter. [ But the way Yuri was shaking a little, the tremor in his voice- that said all too much that it did. That Yuri had been hurt deeply by Viktor and Yuuri's actions- and frankly, Yuri didn't know where to start with moving on. ]

Ugh, don't get all sappy on me. [ Yuri complained, hiding his face against the other's chest a minute, before hedging to squirm a little, pouting at the extended hug. At the talk of people who cared about him. Sometimes Yuri still worried that what the other said about the people who liked him wasn't quite true- but none of them had let him down, yet. So he... he was still trying to have faith. To trust them, like they deserved. ]

I don't want to sell it, I mean... I guess... Katsudon must have left it to me for a reason, right? Wanted me to take care of it? It's... [ as much as it hurt, it was still important to him. Taking care of something that Yuuri had given him. It was why he hadn't thrown away the stupid white tiger training chopsticks they had gotten him for his birthday- the night everything had gone to shit. ]

I dunno, I guess I'll figure something out. I don't want to ask Otabek because he's just... he's so busy lately. He's becoming a way bigger fucking deal than he wants to admit and he has a lot on his plate and he's gonna burn out and I don't want to add to that stress. Maybe I'll ask Eddie, but- same sort of problem. He already has so much shit to deal with... I don't want to add to it. I don't want him to think I'm a burden.

[ It's taken them a while, to get this close, partly because Cisco and Yuri are so different. But now that he knows Yuri a bit better, Cisco doesn't worry about that tiny wriggle of supposed unhappiness, when he first hugs Yuri. He has no doubt in his mind that if Yuri really wanted his space, he would not hesitate to yell and elbow his way out of Cisco's hug. Since he doesn't, and since he lays his head on Cisco's shoulder that way, he guesses that it was the right call.

Cisco doesn't know what it was, that made Yuri like this - so prickly, so insistent that he doesn't need anything from anyone, ever. Nothing good, he imagines. There is such a sweetness to Yuri, sometimes, when he thinks no one is watching. Cisco wonders why he insists on pretending to be so much harder and sharper than he really is. ]

Can't help it. I was born with an incurable sap disease, and I am condemned to live out the rest of my life like this.

[ When Yuri starts squirming again, Cisco gives him a brief squeeze and then lets him go. His breathing seems a little steadier, at least - a little less like he's about to burst into tears at any moment. Cisco's not going to kid himself that he's made that big of a difference, but he hopes he's at least lightened the weight a little. And it's certainly gotten his own mind off his awful nightmares, talking to Yuri like this, trying to care for him. ]

I get that. Easier not to ask, than to ask and get told no, right? Or even worse, to ask and get told yes but then to find out they resent you for it.

[ Cisco knows that exact line of thought all too well. He's felt that way many times in his life - most recently when his powers started manifesting and he didn't understand what was going on, thought he was crazy, but didn't reach out for help. He looks Yuri right in the eyes and says: ]

Sometimes asking for help is the scariest thing in the whole world. And... I don't know about Otabek, 'cause I don't really know him, but I know Eddie pretty well. He's busy, sure, but he'd never think of you as a burden. If you ask me, it can't hurt just to ask.

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