[open] cancel your reservations

[franciscoramon]

who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all, amnesia event
when: august
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up!
warnings: discussion of murder, use of alcohol to cope, will add more as needed

i. pre-amnesia (august 5-10)

[ Cisco knows that he is probably opening himself up to a world of headaches and unnecessary trouble, but there have been plenty of new arrivals, and more and more he is noticing that people who show up from non-technologically advanced worlds simply have no support system to really teach them all the cool things they can do even with their phones, not to mention other machines and devices. So, one day when there's a lull between projects for the RPD and other emergency services, he goes to a print shop and has flyers made:

TECHNOLOGICAL CULTURE SHOCK??? NEED LESSONS ON HOW TO USE YOUR PHONE, LAPTOP, OR OTHER ELECTRONIC GADGET??? STOP BY THE ADDRESS BELOW FOR A FREE INFORMAL LESSON!!!

Normally it's the kind of announcement he would make over the network, but what if someone is really struggling and can't even get on there? No, flyers seem like the way to go for this crowd. Cisco adds some fine print at the bottom, below the address for his workshop, but all it says is:

*NO HIDDEN AGENDA JUST A HELPFUL DUDE WANTING TO SHARE THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY, LESSONS ARE FREE BUT TRIBUTE PAID IN CANDY IS ALWAYS ACCEPTED]

ii. amnesia (august 12-19)

[ The changes in Cisco are not, at first, as obvious as they may be in other people. He remembers Riverview, and everyone he has met here, and all the details of his life in this place. He remembers his name, all the movies and video games that he loves, all the technical skills and scientific know-how necessary for his job. He even remembers most stuff about his own past - that he worked at S.T.A.R. Labs, that he's a member of Team Flash and friend to Barry Allen. That he is a metahuman, with various abilities tied to manipulating multidimensional energy.

The only thing that has been carved away from his memory is, in fact, Eobard Thawne. Cisco doesn't remember his mentor's betrayal, or being murdered, or the circumstances that surrounded him discovering his powers. All of the shame and dread he's been carrying about his powers, because of Eobard and the things he'd said and done, has just vanished. In addition, Cisco's trauma over that whole experience is, for the moment, covered over. To anyone who knows him even a little he will seem inexplicably younger. Quicker to smile and laugh, volumes more trusting, and also a lot more inclined to talk about some guy named Dr. Wells in a positive, even devoted manner.

Cisco will spend this week doing what he usually does - working at his workshop (still offering those lessons), trying out new restaurants, shopping for graphic tees and games and movies, exploring the safe parts of the city a little - but with an extra spring in his step. If you've wanted your character to find out about him being a metahuman, now would be a good time for it! ]

iii. post-amnesia (august 20-31)

[ The not-remembering? Had been good. But when that's done, and all of Cisco's memories are restored to him, the transition is... rough. Putting it mildly. Back when all of it had happened, there had been so much going on - one life-or-death situation after the other - that he hadn't had time to linger too much on how he was changing, being shaped into an older, sadder, more broken version of himself.

Now, though, there is no big crisis, no distraction to divert his attention. One minute he is the old, sunny Cisco - the one he still thinks of as the person he was supposed to be - and the next, it all comes rushing back. The contrast is stark, and it's kind of fucking him up a little. Or, rather, a lot.

He goes back to having nightmares almost as often as he did in those first weeks after his death, which means he isn't getting a whole lot of sleep, and it shows in the dark circles under his eyes. Cisco withdraws somewhat - not enough to worry that he's abandoning anyone, but he takes longer to answer texts, doesn't reach out to people first, doesn't go out and about in the evenings. He is quieter, with considerably more strain behind his smiles. He throws himself into his work, staying in his workshop long hours, sometimes falling asleep there, for a few fitful hours. When he can't work any more, he spends a little more time than he should in some nearby bars, drinking a little more than he ought to, trying not to think about the person he is now compared to the person he was the week before. ]

iv. misc

[ Come plot something! ]

Comments

[wingedman]

[Sam would say that you can't choose your trauma, and that it isn't relative; something small can affect someone just as much as being in a warzone might affect another person. There's no way to tell how different brains react to different stimuli. The reassurance is there precisely to counter those negative thoughts, because he knows Cisco has them; nearly everyone does.]

Yeah, well, if you ever get involved with the Guard, come see me. That's actually what I specialize in. But any of the people on those list can help you, I promise.

[He's hazarded a guess that whatever's bothering Cisco is probably on the larger end of the scale, as far as traumas go - he'd mentioned someone's death, someone he wasn't ready to let go of yet. Not necessarily a grief counselor, but someone who deals with death in different forms.]

Basically, a panic attack is when your body goes into fight or flight mode. It gets keyed up and tense, so what you wanna do is try and calm it down. Get yourself settled somewhere and focus on relaxing your muscles, one at a time. What you wanna do is tense each muscle group, hold it for a count of five, then relax - that's another thing a meditation group'll teach you. Start with your toes, and work your way up your body.

[franciscoramon]

I mean... technically I make armor and tech and stuff for the Guard, so I don't know if that means I count or not, but also...

[ Cisco hesitates for a moment, taking a sip of his coffee because he's not sure how to say what he wants to say without sounding entitled, or even maybe a bit creepy. He doesn't want to seem like either of those things. He shoots Sam a wan smile, a little apologetic for the pause, and explains: ]

...you're really cool, and I sorta feel like maybe we could be friends someday, if we hung out, and if that was something you wanted. And in that case, it's probably better if you're not, like, my therapist, y'know? I've never done the whole... professional help thing but I think if I did I'd probably want to have someone to say stuff to who wasn't, like, in my life, otherwise.

[ What Sam says about the nature of panic attacks makes sense, from Cisco's experience of them. He'd never heard of that trick, to tense his muscles first and then focus on relaxing them. It feels like something concrete - a strategy that he'll have in his back pocket, the next time things are starting to go bad. ]

Got it. Tense, then relax.

[ Cisco feels a modicum better, now. Those are two things he can try - breathing, and muscle exercises. It's a start, and a start is exactly what he needed. He huffs out a tiny laugh and admits: ]

Y'know, it's kinda funny actually. I... know stuff about this sort of thing from like, a scientific viewpoint. Like, I've read studies about dopamine levels in people with PTSD, and the role of adrenergic receptors in hypervigilance, but I don't know the first thing about, you know... the practical stuff.

[wingedman]

That is absolutely the right thing to say, and, man, you get some serious points for realizing that. I've known people - not many, mind you - who wanted to be my friend 'cause they wanted free therapy. Didn't hang out with them for long, you know? Plus the whole power imbalance thing just really screws up a friendship.

[Sam grins at him. He'd made the offer because it felt like the right thing to do, but Cisco's right, too; it'd be massively unethical on his part, not to mention awful in a lot of ways. Hopefully, he'll be able to find a civilian therapist he clicks with, and Sam thinks he will. Violent trauma isn't at all uncommon among people here, although he suspects most of them don't seek out treatment.]

Yeah, I've read my fair share of those papers, too - well, you know, grad school. The science just doesn't always connect with what's really happening to you. Like, you don't think about it because you can't. Although if you can get your brain off the track of panic and think about it in logical, scientific terms and dissect what's happening to you, it might help.

[franciscoramon]

Seriously?

[ Cisco hasn't been looking at Sam, up until this point, but when Sam says that some people have befriended him wanting free therapy, that is enough to make Cisco look up at him. It surprises him, at first, but he also doesn't doubt it. He's known plenty of people who wanted to be 'friends' with him because they wanted things from him. Still, imagining it happening to Sam - who seems like such a fun and likable guy - makes Cisco frown. He shakes his head a little from side to side. Sam deserves better friends than that. ]

Okay, cool. I didn't wanna presume about the friend thing...

[ He gives a tiny shrug; he and Sam had only met the once and a part of Cisco had been worried that Sam would say he wasn't interested in being his therapist OR his friend. But... he hadn't. Which is nice. Once he gets his shit sorted out a little, gets a little better at just functioning in a day to day way, then maybe he can text Sam and invite him to a party or a movie night or something. Get to know him properly. ]

I... know about the science 'cause I worked with metahumans back home, and some of them, their powers are connected with their brain chemistry. Means I got a bit of a crash course in all that neurotransmitter stuff. Normally not really my field.

[ It's not exactly a lie. He had learned it because of a particular metahuman whose powers are tied to his brain chemistry. He's just neglecting to mention the fact that that metahuman is himself. Sam doesn't need to know that, and quite frankly it isn't really his business.

The thought of turning to science during one of his panic attacks is alluring in theory, but Cisco isn't sure if he could pull it off. Not yet, anyway. Maybe when he's got a bit of practice with the meditation stuff, and after he's talked with his new therapist a little bit, gotten a little sleep. ]

Worth a try, anyway. Can't hurt.

[ Cisco takes another long sip of his coffee. The way Sam had said that... it sounds like he's speaking from experience, about not being able to think about certain things when he is too scared. But it's also possible he's just good at his job. Either way, it would be crossing a line to ask, Cisco thinks. Instead, he diverts the conversation ever so slightly. ]

I didn't realize therapists go to grad school. I mean, maybe I should've guessed, but I don't really know anything about it, as a field. Engineering's probably pretty different...

[wingedman]

Sure, we can just keep having coffee, getting together to talk. Or if there's other stuff you like to do, that's fine.

[Sam's false friendships hadn't happened often back home, but yeah, it had occurred more than once. Since he's naturally a friendly, well-meaning sort of guy anyway, it's not hard for some people to think they could take advantage of him. But Sam's also pretty clearly not stupid, and friendly he might be, but he has little tolerance for people jerking him around.]

Metahumans? You mean people with superpowers and stuff, right? I got a few friends like that. And I know a guy who sorta...changes when he gets angry. Wouldn't be surprised if his brain chemistry was involved there.

[There's a wry grin when Cisco mentions engineering being pretty different from therapy. It is, but Sam's been known to dabble in both.] I took a few physics and engineering classes at community college, before I signed up for the Air Force. Though most of my experience is more...hands-on, from my tours of duty in Afghanistan.

[franciscoramon]

Coffee and talking is good. I've also got, like, a ton of video games if you're into that sort of thing. And movies.

[ Cisco imagines - though he might be wrong - that with a job like Sam's sometimes it might be nice to just not talk for a little while, to just shut off his brain and watch a bad sports movie from the 90s or get competitive playing Mario Kart. He smiles as he's making that offer, and for a moment a glimmer of a different person shines through, past the dark under-eye circles and huddled body language and general air of unhappiness. Cisco knows he isn't exactly much fun to be around, since he got his memories back. But he wants to be. ]

Yeah, that's what we call people with powers in my world. [ He thinks about what Sam said - someone with superpowers activated by anger - and nods a few times. ] Sounds like a safe bet. Chemically speaking, anger and fear aren't all that different. Probably whatever transformation he goes through happens once he's got a certain level of adrenaline, combined with a certain heart-rate, maybe cortisol levels factor in, who knows.

[ Cisco drinks a little more of his coffee; now that they are talking about things other than himself and his various issues, he is a little livelier, and certainly having a much easier time speaking and actually looking at Sam across the table from him. When Sam mentions he'd taken some engineering classes, Cisco actually smiles - something he hasn't been doing a whole lot of recently. ]

Wait, no way, seriously? That's awesome! Okay, add on to the list of potential hangouts: 'come to Cisco's workshop and build fun shit'. I mean. If you want to.

[wingedman]

I can do either of those things - I'll even bring some snacks. Might be kinda rusty on the games, though, I haven't played in ages.

[Sam is definitely up for both bad movies (and good movies) and video games; playing video games isn't something he does on his own, but he gets into playing with other people. Of course, when your best friend is a centenarian, you don't exactly end up playing a lot of video games, although he wonders for a moment if Steve would get into throwing red shells at people.]

You got a lot of people with powers? [It's the sort of thing he's interested in. Cisco doesn't seem to be from one of the variations on his own world, but people with superpowers is close enough, and obviously relevant to his interests.]

Yeah, well, I'm no Tony Stark. [He's just assuming Cisco knows one of them - after all, if he's an engineer, it would be stranger if he didn't.] I'm pretty much self-taught, but I can dabble a bit. Don't know how good I am at building fun things; I'm better at working with stuff that's already been made.

[franciscoramon]

Don't worry, I'll go easy on you.

[ If Sam hasn't played in ages, all the more reason why he should now. And besides, it's more fun, playing with a friend, and someone who can make video games into a lively experience. Cisco might not be so sure about a lot of things, but he knows for a fact that he's fun to play video games with, and that if Sam gives it a shot, he'll most likely end up having more fun than he thought he would. ]

I mean, depends how you define a lot, but... yeah. Particle accelerator blew about two years ago, gave about 1% of the population of Central City powers, so that's about... three thousand metas? Give or take? It's hard to say, exactly. Most of those people are just living their lives, not making trouble for anybody. It's pretty much just the problem cases and the brave, stupid, heroic types that you end up hearing about.

[ There's clear affection in Cisco's voice at the end there when he is talking about 'brave stupid heroic types'. ]

Oh, hey, you know Tony? Neat.

[ Cisco had just been out drinking with Tony, the night before. The whole amnesia situation had left the both of them significantly worse for wear, so they had taken a night to apologize for their behavior to one another and get drunk so they didn't have to think about all the bad things they remembered about their lives, now. Tony's told Cisco multiple times that he is super famous in his own world, but it's still a bit weird hearing him referred to in the way Sam just did - like he's a household name for a genius, like Einstein or something like that.]

[wingedman]

Huh. Yeah, we got about...ten in my world. Although, like you said, might be that there's more people who're just living everyday lives that nobody knows about. Things sorta started with Captain America in my world - he was a science experiment back during World War II. The Army wanted to make a new kind of soldier - a super-soldier - but the Nazis sabotaged the program just after they succeeded on one soldier, and the formula for the serum was lost. Scientists spent decades trying to recreate it.

...although, hell, you've probably met at least one of the Steves here. They don't get around as much as Tony does, but not many people do.

Supposedly the other universes like mine have a ton of people with powers just doing...whatever. [He gestures vaguely. Honestly, he can't imagine it. The world had lost its shit over just a handful of Avengers; he's been told that theirs was fairly tame compared to what had happened in other worlds.]

You got any weird alternate universe shenanigans? 'Cause apparently the multiverse I'm from has numbers and I'm just from the world that's too damn dumb to figure out other universes exist.

[franciscoramon]

[ He has heard parts of this story before, but only bits of it, and never so directly and clearly. It's fascinating, honestly, and Cisco kind of wants to ask Sam a million questions about superhero history in his world, now. But he approaches it cautiously, not wanting to seem like he's prying. He's too accustomed to thinking of this stuff as very secret. ]

You know, I haven't actually met him. But I know about him, which sounds weird when I say it out loud. I know Peggy a little? She works at the police department and I make tech for them. And Tony, 'cause... engineers. I mean, um, I know one of 'em.

[ It's always weird reminding himself that there are multiple Tonys in this place; he's just very used to the one he's befriended. ]

A few alternate universe shenanigans. We got an Earth-1 and an Earth-2. Most of our shenanigans are time travel related, not multiverse related.

[ He says it like it's a joke, and it kind of is - but it's also the truth. The weird weird truth. ]

[wingedman]

Better to just stick to one Stark. [Sam nods sagely, the sign of a man who is burdened with Too Many Starks.] You know the tall one, the short one, or the sad one? The short one's from my world.

[Although height is probably relative if he hasn't met any other Tonys.]

Short one's about as tall as I am.

[NOT THAT SAM'S SHORT. ...okay, he's short. And, really, he doesn't mind answering questions and talking about these things. God knows he's spent enough time asking the people from his own alternate universe questions about things.]

Alternate universe version of me has actual superpowers. You know what I got? Nothing. [Which isn't strictly true these days, but that's thanks to being in the Quarantine.] I mean, I'm not sure what kind of superpower communicating with birds is, but it sounds cool. Not as cool as lifting a tank or something, but I'm okay with that.

Can't say I've heard anyone talk much about time travel. My friend Stephen, he does magic and shit, and he talks a lot about hopping from one dimension to another. But I guess time travel's harder without a DeLorean, you know?

[franciscoramon]

[ Once Sam tells him their relative sizes, Cisco nods, amused that there are different epithets for the various Tony Starks in this place. ]

Yeah, I know the one from your world for sure.

[ Seems wrong somehow to call him the short one, when he still had an inch or two on Cisco. It pleases him in some obscure way, though, that he happens to know the same Tony who comes from Sam's world. This multiverse stuff can get pretty confusing, and that just seems simpler, neater somehow. ]

Wait, he's a meta? Or- y'know, whatever they call people with powers over there? [ Then Sam says what his powers are, and a little smile tugs at the corner of Cisco's mouth. ] He's a bird whisperer?

[ Cisco has a sudden mental image of Sam - a different Sam, maybe with a pair of glasses and hair a bit longer - letting out some horrible honks and then siccing some angry geese on a bank robber. How is he supposed to not smile, thinking of that? And it feels good to smile, after the week he's been having. ]

Still better than some of the powers I've come across working with the Flash.

[ Cisco shakes his head a little, amused by the reference (it really is nice talking to people with similar cultural touchstones), but also a little hesitant to get into the question of time travel in too much depth. After all, there isn't much in the world he wants to think about less right now than one time traveler in particular. So he gives a little shrug and says. ]

I wish DeLoreans were involved. Instead it's just dudes running really, really, really, really fast.

[wingedman]

That's what everyone's told me. Which, hey, if you're in New York, probably isn't a bad gig. Just cover a dude in pigeons till he can't move, you know?

[Sam laughs, shaking his head. He still hasn't found an especially practical application for it, but he hasn't really been trying much. And, to be fair, he can only talk to big birds right now - eagles and the like - which are mostly out in the jungle.]

Yeah? A friend of mine had a brother like that. Never met him, so I don't know if he could time travel. [And he's not about to ask Wanda anything like that, for obvious reasons.] It's the kind of thing that sounds cool, but I bet it ends up being a huge damn mess.