[open] cancel your reservations

[franciscoramon]

who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all, amnesia event
when: august
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up!
warnings: discussion of murder, use of alcohol to cope, will add more as needed

i. pre-amnesia (august 5-10)

[ Cisco knows that he is probably opening himself up to a world of headaches and unnecessary trouble, but there have been plenty of new arrivals, and more and more he is noticing that people who show up from non-technologically advanced worlds simply have no support system to really teach them all the cool things they can do even with their phones, not to mention other machines and devices. So, one day when there's a lull between projects for the RPD and other emergency services, he goes to a print shop and has flyers made:

TECHNOLOGICAL CULTURE SHOCK??? NEED LESSONS ON HOW TO USE YOUR PHONE, LAPTOP, OR OTHER ELECTRONIC GADGET??? STOP BY THE ADDRESS BELOW FOR A FREE INFORMAL LESSON!!!

Normally it's the kind of announcement he would make over the network, but what if someone is really struggling and can't even get on there? No, flyers seem like the way to go for this crowd. Cisco adds some fine print at the bottom, below the address for his workshop, but all it says is:

*NO HIDDEN AGENDA JUST A HELPFUL DUDE WANTING TO SHARE THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY, LESSONS ARE FREE BUT TRIBUTE PAID IN CANDY IS ALWAYS ACCEPTED]

ii. amnesia (august 12-19)

[ The changes in Cisco are not, at first, as obvious as they may be in other people. He remembers Riverview, and everyone he has met here, and all the details of his life in this place. He remembers his name, all the movies and video games that he loves, all the technical skills and scientific know-how necessary for his job. He even remembers most stuff about his own past - that he worked at S.T.A.R. Labs, that he's a member of Team Flash and friend to Barry Allen. That he is a metahuman, with various abilities tied to manipulating multidimensional energy.

The only thing that has been carved away from his memory is, in fact, Eobard Thawne. Cisco doesn't remember his mentor's betrayal, or being murdered, or the circumstances that surrounded him discovering his powers. All of the shame and dread he's been carrying about his powers, because of Eobard and the things he'd said and done, has just vanished. In addition, Cisco's trauma over that whole experience is, for the moment, covered over. To anyone who knows him even a little he will seem inexplicably younger. Quicker to smile and laugh, volumes more trusting, and also a lot more inclined to talk about some guy named Dr. Wells in a positive, even devoted manner.

Cisco will spend this week doing what he usually does - working at his workshop (still offering those lessons), trying out new restaurants, shopping for graphic tees and games and movies, exploring the safe parts of the city a little - but with an extra spring in his step. If you've wanted your character to find out about him being a metahuman, now would be a good time for it! ]

iii. post-amnesia (august 20-31)

[ The not-remembering? Had been good. But when that's done, and all of Cisco's memories are restored to him, the transition is... rough. Putting it mildly. Back when all of it had happened, there had been so much going on - one life-or-death situation after the other - that he hadn't had time to linger too much on how he was changing, being shaped into an older, sadder, more broken version of himself.

Now, though, there is no big crisis, no distraction to divert his attention. One minute he is the old, sunny Cisco - the one he still thinks of as the person he was supposed to be - and the next, it all comes rushing back. The contrast is stark, and it's kind of fucking him up a little. Or, rather, a lot.

He goes back to having nightmares almost as often as he did in those first weeks after his death, which means he isn't getting a whole lot of sleep, and it shows in the dark circles under his eyes. Cisco withdraws somewhat - not enough to worry that he's abandoning anyone, but he takes longer to answer texts, doesn't reach out to people first, doesn't go out and about in the evenings. He is quieter, with considerably more strain behind his smiles. He throws himself into his work, staying in his workshop long hours, sometimes falling asleep there, for a few fitful hours. When he can't work any more, he spends a little more time than he should in some nearby bars, drinking a little more than he ought to, trying not to think about the person he is now compared to the person he was the week before. ]

iv. misc

[ Come plot something! ]

Comments

[franciscoramon]

[ Eddie's warm breath stirs Cisco's hair just a little, and there's no mistaking the enjoyment in those soft exhalations. Cisco can feel Eddie's cheek pressed against the crown of his head - his cheekbone, his jaw. It would be difficult not to be flattered by such attention, such obvious delight in him. More and more, these last few months, Cisco trusts touch more than words - he and Eddie had had some miscommunication and hurt between them, when they tried to communicate entirely with words. But this is some damn compelling evidence. ]

It's not stupid. I miss it too.

[ Cisco had tried not to let himself grow used to it: the warmth of someone else nearby, the sound of steady breathing, the way Eddie would drape a strong arm over him protectively and make him feel safe like it was nothing.

He'd failed, obviously. ]

You're welcome in my bed any time. You know that, right?

[causational]

[Eddie has no problem with his interest and enjoyment being obvious. Now that they've cleared things up, made sure to collaborate about what page they're on, what they want out of this, it feels safe and easy to just give in and do what he wants. It feels perfect to cuddle up against Cisco, to gather his warm solid body up against his own and inhale the smell of his hair and curl around him when he shivers and feels afraid in the night. To protect him, and make him feel as safe as he can.

It feels natural.

When Cisco says he misses it too, Eddie smiles and presses his mouth into Cisco's hair again in a mindless kiss, eyes sinking shut.]

I didn't know. But I do now. So...good luck getting me to ever leave.

[Shifting a bit, Eddie squeezes the younger man gently, breathing into the soft hair at the crown of his head.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco is in that warm, hazy, just starting to be sleepy headspace where all he wants to do is ramble about any thought that enters his mind. And he indulges himself, this time, because Eddie keeps planting those soft little kisses into his hair, and it's making something he hadn't even realized was tight in his chest loosen. ]

I've probably already slept with you more than anybody else, by now.

[ He huffs a very soft laugh, fingers curling against Eddie's chest as he nestles himself a little closer, clingy and appreciative of Eddie's body heat. ]

I mean sleep sleeping. Obviously. I mean I've slept in people's beds and stuff but never more than a couple times. I think the whole cuddling thing might be outta fashion or something. Or maybe it's just me, who knows.

[ Cisco starts to trace idle little patterns with his fingertips, along Eddie's chest and ribs and side, just enjoying the fact that he is allowed to touch him. ]

Anyway... anyway the point is, I don't need luck. 'Cause I don't want you to leave.

[causational]

[Eddie likes it, the way Cisco talks, comfortably and openly and a little drowsy, while Eddie holds him and listens to him, intensely attentive in the way that only comes from being sleepy and interested in something at the same time.]

Mm-hmm. [It's a soft hum, while he shifts just enough that he can slide his fingers into Cisco's hair, as the younger man nestles closer, his head on Eddie's chest, his arm warm and solid across his belly. Making a satisfied noise in his throat, he buries fingers into Cisco's hair, rubbing a smooth strand of it between thumb and forefinger, scraping blunt nails against Cisco's scalp.]

I've slept with you more than I did with Taako.

[It's soft, and quiet, and it is, Eddie thinks, a pretty good explanation of the type of relationship he'd had with Taako. And he'd thought that was what he wanted at the time. Something low-commitment, not too much. But it isn't. That's not the kind of person Eddie is, he's only just realizing that, noticing that he's never had a relationship like that where he felt happy and free - it's always felt like he was missing something.

Right now, he doesn't feel like he's missing much of anything. He thinks maybe that means he should make it official soon, actually ask Cisco out. Eyes sinking shut, he smiles into Cisco's hair.]

Oh good. Because I really, really don't want to either. I could do this every night and be happy.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco can't help thinking but not more than Iris. She and Eddie had lived together for months and months. As far as he knows, they'd shared the same bed every night. And that's something Cisco has never had, not with anybody. His longest relationships had been a few months, in college, in separate dorm buildings. Not anything real, the way Eddie and Iris were real.

But all of that is too complex and too emotionally fraught to voice right now, so he just sighs and smushes his cheek against Eddie's chest, trying not to make it into something he worries about. ]

Even with the nightmares?

[ Eddie had handled them really well, for that space of time after he got his memories back, when Cisco was a total mess, and could barely go a few hours without waking up in a cold sweat, or else with his throat aching from screaming in his sleep. Eddie had held him and soothed him back to sleep. But that had been a temporary agreement. A favor Eddie performed for him. Cisco doesn't think it's the same, looking forward into the uncertain future. He's not having as many nightmares, now. But he still gets them once in a while, and he isn't sure that's ever gonna change. ]

You're very warm. Anyone ever told you that? You're like... a space heater. A huggable one.

[causational]

[That thought had crossed Eddie's mind, too. That he can't say more than anyone, because he'd shared a bed with Iris for so long, but he also can't deny that part of him feels like that was wasted time, like it was a waste of his effort and his investment and his emotions. It feels wrong to feel that way, but it's not like he can change his gut feeling either, so he just keeps it to himself.

It's easier, when Cisco asks him if he'd enjoyed it even with his nightmares, and he makes a soft hum in his throat.]

Mm-hmm. Even with the nightmares. [A pause, and he exhales softly into Cisco's hair, eyes closed, trying to gather his thoughts.] They don't bother me. Of course it bothers me that you have them, but I get back to sleep afterward, really fast. And I like being able to help you feel safe. I know that sounds bad, but...

[He shrugs a little bit, licks his lips, and keeps stroking Cisco's hair, dragging his fingers through it and exhaling a little.]

I like being able to help you. And you're not the only one who gets nightmares, I do too. You're not alone.

[Eddie strokes Cisco's hair back from his temple, presses a soft kiss there after he does.]

You're warm and huggable too.

[His breath is soft and warm.]

[franciscoramon]

Got so used to just not feeling safe.

[ It's the sort of thing he might have a harder time admitting, if the lights were on and they were facing one another, but it's easier to mumble half-sleepily, curled against Eddie's side. It's the truth, too; he hadn't realized just how not good things were, until some of them started to be a bit better. Hadn't realized how unreliable Barry and Caitlin could be until people he could rely on showed up. He hadn't realized just how miserable he was, sleeping alone, dealing with nightmares alone, living alone, living with what he'd been through alone, until Eddie had come back into his life, and changed things around. ]

...Always worry 'm not gonna wake up when you have one and then I can't comfort you like you comfort me and that's not good.

[ Cisco finds himself blinking slower and slower, and says through a yawn: ]

Think 'm gonna sleep soon. But we should do this. Just permanently. That's not weird, right? I mean... I know it's weird, but not bad weird, right?

[causational]

I'm sorry.

[There's not much else he can say to that, because he is - it hurts that Cisco has had to deal with everything by himself, alone, that he hasn't felt safe for so long that he just got used to it. And Eddie knows he's not a perfect shield, that he can't provide complete and utter safety for Cisco, but if he can alleviate that feeling even a little, that's something.

Gently, he keeps stroking Cisco's hair, touching gently while Cisco curls up against him, buries his face into his chest in a way that makes something in Eddie's chest twist up tight, in the best way possible. When Cisco speaks, his voice quiet, Eddie smiles a little.]

It's okay. You being here is enough to comfort me, most of the time. Just not feeling alone. That's usually what I have bad dreams about, being alone and forgotten about and starving...it's a lot quieter, I think, and just having you here helps.

[A pause, and then, softly, close to Cisco's ear.]

It's not bad weird. I...I think I'd like that a lot. If we just did this permanently.

[franciscoramon]

[ When Eddie mentions the contents of his nightmares - how he dreams of being alone and starving and feeling forgotten - Cisco holds him tighter, squeezing him momentarily, as if that would banish all that trauma and fear. Of course, he knows that it won't, and he loosens his arms after a few long seconds.

There is a brief temptation to apologize again, the way he has more than once before, for not finding Eddie sooner. For not saving him. Cisco still feels the guilt of that like a stone in his stomach, but saying sorry again right now would likely only make Eddie feel worse. It would be selfish. So Cisco just gives him that tight hug, entwines one of his legs in Eddie's, and leaves it be. ]

Then we'll do it. Until one of us says otherwise. We can alternate beds. It'll be fun.

[ His voice is getting just a touch slurred from oncoming sleepiness. Cisco heaves a brief sigh, fingers going back to tracing little patterns on Eddie's side, the loops gradually growing more erratic and slower as he sinks towards sleep, limbs feeling heavy and warm, heartrate slowing. He is asleep quicker than he thinks, his face tranquil and still. ]