[ If anyone else that he knows only as well as he knows Tony had asked, Cisco would've papered over the fallout with a smile, a joke or two. It's just his usual method, now. Pretend everything is fine, until people believe it or pretend to. But he feels like he kinda owes Tony more than that. He'd invited him here, and Tony had opened up to him. If Cisco were to dismiss that genuine question with a glib lie, that would be pretty shitty.

Still, it's hard, being honest. At first all Cisco does is give a bare shrug, eyes fixed on the table like it's suddenly fascinating to him. Which is pretty clearly a 'no', even though it's meant to seem neutral. ]

The thing that's weirding me out the most is... I guess 'cause it happened gradually and in the middle of all this other chaotic shit, I didn't really realize how much he- how much this stuff changed me.

[ It's the truth, but it just sounds so maudlin, even though he's trying to keep his voice clinical and detached, that Cisco scoffs at himself, scornful, shaking his head. He finishes the rest of his drink (so much for moderation for him) and explains: ]

Like... I survived, sure, but I'm never gonna be the me that I was before. That Cisco didn't make it out.

[ And he concludes with one last shrug, as if he could convince Tony or himself or anyone that this is only some weird annoyance he's making a detached observation of. ]