genji shimada | 島田源氏 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flowlikewater) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2017-08-06 05:16 pm
flowlikewater) wrote in riverviewlogs2017-08-06 05:16 pm
(semi-closed)
who: genji and you!
what: river festival shenanigans, friendship hang outs!
when: during river festival and after
where: all around the quarantine
warnings: none yet! will add if needed
i — beach borg
ii — fireworks
iii — date! (closed to shigeru)
ii — tea bros (closed to eichi)
what: river festival shenanigans, friendship hang outs!
when: during river festival and after
where: all around the quarantine
warnings: none yet! will add if needed
i — beach borg
[ Genji hasn't been to the beach proper in quite a long time. And between helping clear it out and trying to distract himself from the fact that his brother had vanished, it seemed like a good decision as any to head on down.
He's sitting under an umbrella, probably the most of his cybernetic prosthesis removed as he possibly can manage. His face is fully uncovered, as well as his neck (the extent of his jaw replacement is obvious now, jutting down into his throat) and his left shoulder and arm up to his elbow is noticeably still flesh. Scars are scattered on his still organic parts, and the cybernetic forearm and hand looks as if it was surgically added later instead of a result of his previous physical trauma. He's also got swim trunks and a black sleeveless shirt on, with three streaks of sunscreen on his cheeks reminiscent of a certain somebody.
Genji is taking the time to spray sunscreen on his still fleshy parts, because rubbing lotion when you've got metal and silicone hands and joints that can easily get gunked up his not enjoyable. Oh, he's also sitting in front of a curiously large and pink mecha of sorts.
If someone approaches him, he smiles. ] It is keeping an eye on me. [ A pause. ] And I am instructed to tell you 'Do Not Touch.'
ii — fireworks
[ Now fireworks are always fun! But only if you get a great view. And thankfully Genji has an uncanny ability to scale just about anything, so those pesky cliffs you might be thinking would be a great vantage point are no problem at all.
He easily climbs it, limbs lighting up green in the ever darkening sky, and reaches a metal hand down to you. ] Here, I will pull you up!
iii — date! (closed to shigeru)
[ Once the festivities for the time seem to have died down, he figures it's a good time to invite Shigeru out on his promised 'date.' It may have been a 'date' in the eyes of the auction, but Genji was just thinking of it as a reason to see someone he was starting to think of as a good friend.
Especially after that... interesting text conversation he'd had with that person. What did they say their name was, Dodger? Roger? Something? Hm. He definitely wants to bring it up... he worries that there might be people trying to take advantage of Shigeru's kind demeanor.
Genji decided to bring him to one of his favorite meditation spots, a beautiful serene place by the river. Just far enough from the main parts of the city that it wasn't loud, but not far enough to be dangerous. He's brought a little thermos of tea and some snacks and he figures they can just have a nice chat.
He gestures to it when they arrive. ] Is this all right?
ii — tea bros (closed to eichi)
[ Since seeing each other at the parade, Genji and Eichi had run into each other a few times to have tea at a local little cafe.
Genji is waiting for him at the table they have apparently claimed for their chats, but his expression is just slightly more melancholy than usual. He has come to the realization that his elder brother is absolutely gone, vanished without a word and a trace. Back through the portal, it seems.
Genji is... Genji doesn't quite know what to do or how to feel right then. But he doesn't plan on letting it sour his or his companion's mood. He smiles whenever Eichi approaches. ] Greetings.
no subject
One he'll actually see. While Genji may not have noticed due to the shadowing of his hood while Reaper was sitting with his head down--when he raises it to cast the ninja a glance...
His mask is off. His face isn't quite as rotted and falling apart as it had been the first time he'd shown the ninja, however. It was far more stitched together, even if the skin was still pallid and greying. Even if his eyes were still dark and glowing red.]
...Didn't take half as long as I thought.
In a hurry to get this over with?
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He does silently suck in a breath when he sees his face. Something about seeing him look more like he was is harder than the grotesque disfiguration of before. Far too many memories with that face, good and bad.
Genji scoffs. Since Reaper is maskless, he might as well do the same; show that he's at least attempting to speak to him on an even playing field. He reaches behind and undoes the airlock, air shooting out from the slides, and he slowly removes the helmet. It's strange to be the only one who looks a little older, so to speak. ] Lena was the only one faster than I was, if you remember.
[ A pause. ] I was around. [ Genji stands there, holding his helmet, and then puts it on a nearby table. He looks visibly pensive for a while, the beginnings of crows feet around his eyes pulling tightly. ] I suppose there is a lot to be said.
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Of course he's aged, is all Gabe can think to himself. Genji was still part human under all that wiring and metal, not a ghost who'd stopped aging and only started to rot under the confines of a mask and hood.
He brushes the feeling off, and opts to continue his conversation.]
I haven't forgotten anything like that. My memories from back then are still my own.
[As if needing to emphasize that becoming... whatever he was. Didn't change who he was. Just his views.]
I'm shit at icebreakers. And dancing around hot-button topics. [Obviously. He HAD been the leader of Blackwatch, and was often chastised for saying what needed to be said, but noone wanted to hear.] I tore your brother a new one while he was here. I'm sure he came back to tell you how cruel 'The Reaper' was to him.
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[ His anger leaves him quickly though and he sighs. His brother isn't even here any longer, so that protective urge has nowhere to go. Perhaps that's why he feels it's 'safe' to speak with him now: less risk of collateral damage. ] But that isn't why I agreed to speak with you.
I— [ He frowns, closes his eyes, shakes his head. And opens them again. ] I was furious but I can't say I wasn't surprised that you did. You— [ He says it, intentionally acknowledging that Reyes and Reaper and indeed one and the same. ] —did know me in the aftermath of that. When I was at my worst.
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We both know you have every reason to blow me off. [Tearing his brother apart, working as a terrorist, not telling everyone he was alive--and of course, their last meeting before he'd 'died'... they'd had an argument that should have ended things between them.]
Guess old habits die hard, for both of us. You're not someone who knows me anymore. And I'm not someone who should be protective of a kid who clearly doesn't need it anymore. You're not at your worst anymore.
Not with how carefree you've seem to have become.
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[ He looks down at his chest, at the green lights there. It's strange to not be lit up with red while speaking with him, like before. Half cobbled together and so full of rage. ] You are right. We both are all but strangers now, aren't we? And I still remember what I said the last time we spoke.
[ He had just wanted to leave it all behind, sever any times. He'd 'paid' the debt he owned from saving his life with no love lost. Or so he thought at the time. The peace he eventually found gave him a different perspective. ] Being 'carefree' was never a luxury I could have until now.
[ Genji's silent for a few more beats before meeting those blood red eyes. ] I mourned you, Commander. I did not fully realize how much your guidance and instruction had meant to me until you were gone. I never got to tell you how much I appreciated and respected you and now—
[ He closes his eyes and shakes his head, a lump in his throat. His voice is quiet, more gravelly than usual, thick with his emotions. ] Just help me understand.
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To help him understand.]
Hard to make anyone understand, kid. [A low sigh escapes him, followed by a black plume of twisting smoke.]
My motivations are my own. Maybe a little selfish.
But could you really imagine me. Looking like this. Come crawling back out of the rubble of Zurich and expect you all to welcome me with open arms?
Knowing everything I worked to build was stolen from me, to be betrayed and left behind by everyone I had? To work for a group of people that had left Ana behind to die, let Amelie become a Sleeper Agent...
[He shakes his head.]
I couldn't do it anymore. Being a 'hero' turned me into this thing. So why would I come back to it.
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[ He swallows and has to look away for a moment, look up to the sky. There's a natural buzzing in his ears that has nothing to do with his mechanical parts. ] You know I would have understood. I had to be put back together and you assume I would not have understood?!
[ He swallows again, closing his eyes tightly, corners of them prickling. ] Do not act as if I have no idea what it is like to be lose everything, even a sense of yourself.
[ There's an undercurrent to his words: I hate that you did not tell me. Why didn't you find me? ]
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And while normally, he's got enough training and common goddamn logic to keep any sort of show emotion off his face... it flickers across his face. The effect of the others' anger-filled words, the easy question of why, of all people, didn't he go to Genji first.
His fingers curl into a balled fist at his side as his eyes finally fall away from Genji's form. Why didn't he go to Genji first, of all people? If anyone could understand...]
...
I was in a bad place.
The Split Overwatch was going through. People were making tracks left and right.
You left. McCree wasn't far behind. Jack left Ana to die.
For all I knew, there wasn't a damn person left who'd give a damn that my life was spared.
[A pause... and he gestures down at himself. A plume of black smoke escapes his mouth.]
If you can call this life.
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He touches his eyes with the heels of his hands, shaking his head. Deep breaths. He thinks of the tune of his master's orbs, that calming little song. ] I cannot fault you for not trusting anyone when I was much the same.
[ He drops his hands as his shoulders straighten up. Genji looks calm again, although his eyes are a little more bloodshot than normal. ] I hold no real love for the Overwatch of old, or at least what it became. I know I was partially rescued just to help dismantle the clan so I saw no point in staying when I was no longer needed. [ The arrest of Doomfist had been the final straw.
Genji shakes his head. ] I found peace. I am just sorry that was not the case for you.
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[His irritation in the attempted Recall had burned a hole in his chest--even if it was his near-second death at the hands of that fucking monkey that had been the lead-up to it.]
The world didn't need any of us anymore. That's why the building blew up. That's why Jack fucking Morrison was made into a Martyr. To bring it all back...
[He shakes his head, watching the lights flicker on Genji's robotic armour, trying to concentrate on the almost gentle green glow to center himself.]
I couldn't find peace. Not after they took everything I worked for. And what turned me into this.
[He raises that hand that settled at his side, the balled fist unfurling... and the entire limb turning into a pillar of fog only to reform again in a matter of moments.]
A body that rapidly regenerates at the same speed it breaks down...
[A pause, and he speaks something he hasn't yet told a single person, not between home or this place.]
You can't imagine how much it hurts.
Feels like I'm falling apart.
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He can understand that, he supposes. When you work so hard to do good and have it all literally blow up in your face. Genji opens and closes his fists with a faint mechanical sound. ] How did this happen to you, then? Who— What did it to you?
[ He frowns though. He may understand, but he doesn't necessarily agree. ] Things change. It would never be the Overwatch of old, because that is long dead.
[ He understands better than most that things, and people, can change for the better after being at their worst. It's why he's finding that ember of hope in his chest for his Commander is brighter than he thought. ]
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It was a blur. When it first happened. All I knew was that the building was coming down around our heads. Mine and ... [Jack's. He doesn't say his name, but he waves his hand.] ... All I could smell was smoke, and all I could taste was blood.
And then I was awake. I'd felt like it all slipped away, like goin' to sleep. But all at once, I was alive again. I don't fucking know if it was a side-effect from the SEP chemicals that ran through my body when I did that damn program, or...
[He scoffs, softly.]
If Angela had a hand in it, with her experimental technology. Didn't get a chance to ask her when she was here. She couldn't even recognise the sound of my voice when I spoke to her.
[She was so ignorant to whom she was speaking to about death and loss--she was so blind to the fact that one of the names she had on her little ferry boat to the dead was standing just three feet away from her.]
...So what, then. Bring it back as something different, better?
[He pauses... and then he smiles. Remembering something.]
...Do you know what the definition of insanity is, Genji.