riverviewlogs | ( closed ) blind ninja meets whatever it is she is

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( closed ) blind ninja meets whatever it is she is

who: Matt Murdock & Jessica Jones
what: Super cool neighbors have a super friendly meeting!
when: August
where: Floor 9 of community housing
warnings: None, of course, absolutely nothing can go wrong!

[ He'd check to find out if Foggy and Karen were here, if they'd somehow been displaced like he was. Finding no hint of them, he wasn't sure whether to take it as something of relief or not. Not knowing enough about this place, it was hard to tell whether it was safer or more dangerous than Hell's Kitchen. Whichever was the worst, Matt didn't like not being with them to protect them.

The day had already been long, but it was just the beginning of his research, deciding to take it all one step at a time — all as Matt Murdock, and Matt Murdock alone.

Cane clutched in hand, he makes his way down the hallway of his floor, tapping at the ground in front of him. There's no need for it, not with his senses alerting him well of his surroundings, but he senses movement behind some of the doors to the other room. One in particular is about to be opened, sensing it in the way that feet tap across the floor, closer and closer.

When it opens, there's a woman there, practically his own height, with a heavy air about her.

Matt tilts his head up, facing her general direction, making sure not to look directly at her before shifting into a smile. ] Hi. You must be my neightbor.

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[ Matt's always considered himself rather adept at sensing someone's emotions, and while he's gradually come to be able to read the different paces of Jessica's heart, there's still always an air of unpredictability that comes from her.

You can stay here, she says with an invitation, and his own heart manages to be offset with a few words.

His face stings from the sheer rub of the blade on his skin, but a pulsing grip within himself presents a more effective distraction. When he tilts his head, it's inevitably so near hers from the close proximity the shaving creates, and he can sense her breath, hot, steady, sincere.

Quietly, he asks, genuine in his tone, ] Is that what you want?

[ the question catches her off guard, the intensity of his voice startling her. she nearly cuts him on accident, yet manages at the last moment to spare him that unfortunate fate.

jess lifts her brow, then offers a scoff to conceal the sudden tension that permeates the room. ]

Don't make this weird. Not the first time you crashed at my place.

[ to distract herself, she steps back from him, dipping the razor into the bathroom sink to rinse the blade. ]

[ She's not wrong. The incident that left his apartment crisp and unhabitable for weeks made him a temporary resident. But everything had been so different then; it was only on his final night here that she'd kissed him, a predecessor to everything else that'd altered their relationship into a swirling storm of denial and inevitable attraction.

And then there was everything else, everything that came with new memories of Hell's Kitchen. They were hardly the same two people they were when he'd last slept here.

Even so, he huffs a breath of a chuckle, licking at his bottom lip. ]

Well, from what I remember of the last time, you couldn't wait to get me out of here.

[ after she washes off the razor, jessica places it to the side. then, she grabs a small towel, drying off her hands before shoving it against his chest. the movement is careful, no genuine strength behind the act; she can't risk injuring him.

the truth of the matter is that he's right — they're both different now, changed by circumstances that evolved both during their time here and back in new york. however, she's reluctant to acknowledge any of this, not to him and much less to herself. ]

Look, Murdock. [ she realizes her poor phrasing a second too late, though she doesn't bother to comment on it. ] I won't twist your arm.

[ if he doesn't want to accept this fleeting offer of generosity, that's fine by her. ]

[ The towel gets pressed against his chest and he doesn't move immediately, focusing on her words, on her voice. He thinks of how careful with her he's had to be, not solely for her sake, but his own.

With Elektra, with Karen, even with Claire — he's exposed only pieces of himself which he'd been so hesitant to allow. Neither Karen nor Claire wanted the devil within him, the natural fierceness of the Murdock boy that was never meant to be tamed. That was the piece Elektra sought out to consume. It was the dangerous part that was all too unpredictable, up until the building collapsed overhead.

If he was still alive, there was no doubt that Elektra was too. And he knows a part of him seeks to find her, that she may not be here, but she was somewhere, and he needs to seek her out, to save her as the addiction continues to devour him from the inside.

But when he'd woken up, the overwhelming swirls of parallel memories invading his mind, his thoughts returned to Jessica, to the night spent together in his bed, to holding her in his arms, to wanting to protect her from the terrors of her dreams. She never tried to tame him — she mocked and ridiculed for the sake of her own guards, but there was an understanding between them within the silence.

Matt needed to let his flame flicker in the way that he could never have with Karen, but all the same, he couldn't allow his skin to fully burn until there was nothing left.

He doesn't know the extent of her fire, but standing next to Jessica, he feels warm. ]

I want to stay. [ He says with soft honesty, before he could give it another thought. His body was still tired, not merely physically, but he wanted a rest from battling his soul, even for a short while. ] I'd love to stay.

[ With you, he doesn't say. But he doesn't need to. ]

[ jessica jones has never possessed a talent for social interaction. even before the trauma she endured with kilgrave, she hardened her heart, refusing to let anyone inside. even now it's tempting to push matt away, to insist that he means nothing to her. jess only wished she had the strength to succumb to that impulse.

this is all unfamiliar territory. she's spent most of her life being alone, preferring solitude over the inevitable destruction she would cause if she didn't push others away.

matthew murdock, the stubborn idiot that he is, always refuses to listen. history repeats itself — from their first encounter in that interrogation room to him watching over her when the nightmares wouldn't cease. she bites down on her bottom lip, knitting her brow as she swallows hard. ]

Fine. [ then it's settled. he'll stay. with her. ] Jesus.

[ the defense mechanisms are back in place, instigated by the sudden moment of vulnerability. ]

You aren't moving in or anything. So wipe that look off your face.

[ He responds with light laughter, prompted by the instant turn around of her reaction. There's no real surprise, but there's amusement in it all the same, because he always appreciates the bluntness of her phrasing.

Gripping the towel that remains at his chest, pressed by her fingers, he brings it up to his cheeks, wiping at the lingering blotches of shaving cream, smoothing it all away to expose his now bare skin.

Matt holds on a smile, more visible now than it had been before. ]

Wiped. Thanks to you. [ It does feel miles fresher, the previous scruff around his cheeks having done little more than remind him of how long he'd been under. ] What do you think? Do I pass as presentable?

[ another smug comment about his appearance — that asshole can probably sense her attraction to him or something, with his weird ass powers. ugh, she loathes him. ]

Mediocre. At best.

[ folding her arms, jess scoffs. ]

Now can you crawl back to bed, or do I have to hold your hand the whole way?

[ The answer she gives is the answer he deserves. That doesn't stop him from continuing to sprout that cocky grin of his. ]

I think I can manage alright.

[ Movements still bring about sparks of pain, but it's eased with the hours. He did get this far just fine, even if his reckless journey to her apartment temporarily took him some steps back.

Despite his playful tone, his voice is sincere when he says, ] Thank you. [ He points to his face, gesturing to a clean chin. ] For this.

Whatever.

[ her scowl softens, as she dismisses his gratitude in an instant. even after all this time, jessica jones doesn't know how to handle his appreciation, or even accept it.

with a quiet exhale, she extends a hand in his direction. her thumb brushes over the remnants of shaving cream along his jawline, cleaning off the small portion of foam that he missed. ]

[ The lightness of her touch gives him a shiver and he closes his eyes for the briefest of moments, a heavy breath of air released from his lungs. He knows he shouldn't when he lets his fingers fall over the back of her hand, knows that his body, his mind, all of him is exhausted and simply longing for something, something to fall into.

For all her harsh lines, there's something soft and inviting about Jessica's presence. As if he could actually believe things will be alright — somehow.

Leaning in, his lips find hers, nothing like the desperate ones exchanged in their beds, but something soft and quiet, brief before he draws himself back. ]

Edited 2017-12-06 04:12 (UTC)

[ she doesn't expect the sudden shift in movement, yet there's no resistance on her part as matt captures her mouth. in fact, she leans forward slightly, tempted to deepen the kiss before he pulls away. fortunately, she's also brought back to reality as a result.

her gaze widens, then narrows. licking her lips, jess stares at him incredulously. ]

Are you high?

[ perhaps the hospital staff gave him heavy painkillers. that must be it. ]

[ It feels long since they've kissed, time a complicated thing since he'd woken up again, and he's almost tempted to let it last. But everything's become tentative and cautious, and he isn't sure how much of himself is still buried under the rubble. Partially there, partially here, he feels the pressure of her lips draw in closer before they separate and he considers letting himself linger.

He huffs a sigh at her question, pressing his lips together. ]

Unless you slipped me something, I'm pretty sure I'm stable.

[ furrowing her brow, jess shakes her head in disbelief. he appears so nonchalant, so confident in what just occurred, that she's at a loss for words. matthew murdock is actually flustering her, goddammit. that asshole.

this isn't right. she shouldn't dwell on how soft his lips felt, or how much she relished that brief yet gentle kiss. those thoughts can only spell disaster. huffing a breath, jessica steps back and glowers at him. ]

You almost killed yourself trying to save your ex.

[ she reminds him, her tone accusatory. it's much easier to deflect, to pretend that there's nothing more lingering beneath the surface. ]

Now you're swapping spit with me?

[ He's a lot more surprised at her response than he initially expects himself to be. Jessica being angry doesn't take him aback, it's become more of a routine to see her glowering over this and that, but his brows pinch together briefly over her reason.

It's not that she's wrong. It's simply the way she brings it up, the way the temperature rises against her cheeks. ]

You know it's more complicated than that. [ Why he'd done what he did, giving up everything to stay behind at the bottom of that pit, the weight that had hung on his shoulders, the guilt. He wasn't denying that he loved Elektra, that was inevitable, but it'd been a curse too, one that clawed at him from the inside, eating away at him in the months after her death.

Except his memories had divided during that time.

His hands perch at his hips, his eyes unfocused and facing behind her. ]

And you know things weren't the same there with — [ He takes another breath, licking his lips. ] With us.

[ she wants to reject his explanation, even if a part of her embraces it at the same time. jessica knows that, in spite of everything, his response is sincere.

accepting it, however, is another matter. ]

There is no us.

[ jess insists without missing a beat, along the edge of a scoff. her heartbeat quickens, thunderous in her chest, as powerful recollections flash through her mind. cradling murdock's frightened face within her hands, watching him regain his sight with wonder in his gaze, being comforted by his presence after waking up from a nightmare — she shakes her head again, refusing to linger on those memories. no, she can't fall for this bullshit. she won't. ]

[ He can hear the frantic rush of her heart, a speed that assures him his words mean something to her. Not that he has any need to listen, not when he knows the emotions they've exchanged, time and time again. They may have only briefly met when they were together in Hell's Kitchen, but here — months being consistently side by side had taken them down a different route. ]

There isn't? [ He says without real question, not when he's confident enough to know the real answer to that.

Her patterns of denial are too familiar now, not nearly enough to make him stagger, not that they ever were. Heartbeats aren't ever a requisite for them to read one another. ]

Don't lie, Jessica. Don't lie and tell me that you don't feel something with us. Because I do.

[ trepidation grips her heart, which only sharpens her glare. they bonded well enough at home, brought together by circumstances that neither of them could prevent; however, here — they grew closer than she would ever have imagined. physically, of course, but she could handle that aspect with ease. it's the emotional intimacy that she's obstinately denied for so long.

jessica jones knows how this will end, and she won't take part in any of it. ]

You hit your head harder than I thought. [ a dismissive snort. ] Get some rest.

[ It's an obstacle with her, because the willingness to admit much of anything has never been her way. He tells her not to lie, and she doesn't, instead pretending there's nothing to lie about at all, which in itself, is plenty telling.

He could badger her more, battling the resistance of both their stubbornness. With Jessica, there are borders that need chipping as persistent as that on his own personal walls, and a few words won't be enough to convince her otherwise. He knows because they never convince him.

The weight of what had happened in Hell's Kitchen still carries on both of their shoulders. The ache of their fight still burns against his ribs. This isn't the time. Not yet. ]

Yeah, I'll — I'll do that. [ He follows along, but the press of his lips show that he isn't taking back his previous words. He's quiet for a moment, before he begins to step around her, pausing to lean at her ear. ] You know, you said you don't read heartbeats. But you do read people.

[ He knows she believes him; they both know that. He'll give her the time to let that sink, to let her decide. Even if that won't happen now, not as he steps away, leaving her in the doorway as he returns to the room. ]

[ the past few months have taken their toll on jessica. while she would never acknowledge the truth, she misses their world — trish, even malcolm, and of course, luke cage. her chest aches from the memory of him, which always lingers in the back of her mind. despite witnessing what awaits them in the future, this dump, for better or worse, has changed her.

it was bad enough, with glimpses of stephen shithead strange inexplicably entering her thoughts. but now matthew moron murdock consumes her vision, with every soft breath he takes and infuriating word he speaks. his breath is hot and low against her ear as he walks off, and her slender frame shivers in response. ]

You goddamn prick.

[ she's too stubborn to let him go, not like this. eager to prove her point, jess follows past the threshold into her bedroom. ]

You don't know if any of that shit was real.

[ it's a logical possibility, according to her. there was the magical potion bullshit, not to mention the fire on their floor. crazy crap happens all the time in this place; she wouldn't be surprised if this was just another trick meant to bring them anguish. ]

[ Matt pauses in his step when she name-calls him, actually surprised that for someone who typically fights to drop the subject, Jessica is keeping it going — possibly if only to get in the last word, he imagines.

Hands posed on his hips, he sighs as he turns back around to face her, letting her get her criticism across, even if he doesn't buy a word of it. ]

Don't tell me you're still trying to use the potion excuse. [ With a scoff, he huffs a short humorless laugh. ] Cut the shit, Jessica. That was one night out of the months we've been together. You're gonna tell me that with everything we've been through, we just happen to keep being pushed together by some external circumstance? It's one thing to pretend you don't have feelings for me, I don't blame you for that, but don't go making up excuses for why they're there.

[ he won't stop. no matter what jess tells him or how hard she pushes back, he refuses to halt. growing more exasperated, she complements his demeanor, as her own fingers twitch in irritation.

despite the denial, her voice never loses its sarcastic edge. ]

Are we in high school, Murdock? You gonna draw hearts around my name next?

[ If she wants to let it go for now, he's willing to offer her the space she needs, under the circumstances of everything they'd freshly gone through. But if she's going to push, he's only going to push back, tagging along with her frustrated persistence.

If she wants to play with sarcasm, he'll give her a partner. ]

You know I wouldn't be able to tell where I'm drawing.

[ this... bitch...

rolling her eyes, she scoffs in return. whatever. she's had enough of this, as well as of him. maneuvering her body, she heads in the direction of the doorway, fully prepared to end this argument by ditching his ass. ]

[ He repeats to himself, if she wants to let it go, just let it go. But there's a burn in the air when she spins on her heel, a heated vibration that feels like strike at his skin. Her heart moves with the fury of her temper and he swallows hard, as he takes in a painful breath.

Before he can catch himself, his feet move, pacing behind her in a slight rush. ]

Jessica, wait.

( closed ) blind ninja meets whatever it is she is

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