riverviewlogs | [closed]

who: Ozymandias (

dendera ), Noiz (

bunnyblock ), Aoba (

bottombitch )
what: Teen hacker puts fancy grandpa into his video game. Also Aoba is there.
when: July 19th, 3AM
where: Floor 11 of the residential building
warnings: YELLING

[Well, when Noiz had said "I'm ready for you, come see me on my floor whenever is convenient for you," he'd probably meant sooner than almost two weeks later, in the middle of the night. Either he's unaware of what time it is, or he just doesn't care, because when he's entered the floor, he just starts shouting.]

NOIZ! SHOW YOURSELF! I have arrived to do modeling for your strange game!
[He's not going to go looking for him, since he's Pharaoh and all. So he's just going to stand here and talk loudly. What do you mean "that's rude to the other people on the floor? They should be honored to look upon him too.]

I still do not understand what it is you are making! However, I cannot fault any artistic endeavor that requires my glorious visage! Though you are a rude child, in this, you have shown sound judgement!
[Please come collect him so he'll stop yelling.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He's only replicated your image.

[ Guess who's back? This time, he's dressed in jeans and a dark blue shirt, complete with a pair of truly puzzling (and yellow) ankle socks. In his hands is a small tray of simple and cheap design, something you'd find at a discount store. But there's a plain teapot and three cups, as well as a bowl with a small assortment of crackers.

He wasn't about to cook at 3 am in the morning, otherwise he would've attempted donuts. Aoba smiles at the laugh, even though it's too early for any of this, but he seems to be getting used to it. More importantly, he seems less cranky. ]

But hearing you say that makes you seem more approachable, Pharoah.

[ Not wanting to interrupt, he sets the tray down and drops down onto a clear space on the floor and sits cross-legged, his hands gripping his ankles. ]

[Ah, there's Aoba. He was wondering if the blue-haired guy was going to go back to bed, or if he was just going to rage-cook something in the kitchen until their loud guest left.

His eyes flick from the Pharoh to Aoba... before reaching down to grab a few of those crackers from the bowl they're sitting in, crunching on one, idly.]

It's a camera. It can catch and record images and sound.

[He should probably explain HOW it works, but...

He looks over at Aoba. You do it.]

[If you think Pharaoh is eating your unlevened bread squares you're a madman, Aoba. Especially now that Noiz has touched them. He would take tea but as if he'd pour it himself, you fool.]

I... I understand cameras! I simply meant I had not ever seen my image recorded by a camera before.
[The understanding part is an absolute lie, but he is at least aware of the concept, thanks to phones. He peers at the image a moment longer, before turning to Aoba, hands on his hips.]

I am perfectly approachable, as long as I am spoken to with the proper respect. This seems to be a concept foreign to you people here, however, so I understand your confusion.

[ Don't you worry your sun-kissed godlike head over doing something so menial as pouring tea. Aoba's from a place where it's commonplace and expected that he do them the courtesy of pouring it. JUST GIVE IT A FEW, gosh... it's not even done steeping. ]

Really? You've never had your picture taken, even once? Not even a selfie?

[ Aoba's genuinely surprised, who doesn't at least have one of those?! Finally, though, he seems to think enough time has passed that it's safe to start pouring. He starts with his cup, ensuring the weakest falls to him if it's too soon, but the color is right so he begins filling the other cups with a light, spring-green tinged tea.

Wait, isn't this... kind of a perfect set-up for a prank, a little lighthearted getting even for a few hours of lost sleep?

While he pours, he glances at Noiz and grins. ]

Noiz, have you ever heard of a Pharaoh who didn't have a good picture up on their Friendr profile? Isn't that a little embarrassing?

[ For the love of god, play along. ]

[He takes a moment to think about that. Looking at Aoba, and then to his new Egyptian friend. He shrugs his shoulders.]

Maybe he doesn't use websites like that.

[It sounds like he's not playing along at first, but...]

But I remember reading somewhere that Rameses himself has a passport.

[The mummy itself, he means. It has a passport to move between countries. That's pretty impressive, right. That aside...]

...I think Ozymandias is approachable.

Halt. Explains yourselves and your strange words. What is a selfie, websites, and a passport?
[HE WILL UNDERSTAND THE MODERN WORLD DAMNIT YOU JUST GOTTA WORK WITH HIM!!! He seems incredibly serious about this, which frankly probably just makes it 100 times funnier. After a moment's pause, he turns to Noiz.]

If you are intent on using that name, which I do not recall giving you permission to do, in any case, it will be Ramesses the Great or Pharaoh Ramesses. Do not address me so casually.
[He does seem.... slightly pleased that Noiz apparently knows Of Him, though. Yes, he is truly legendary.]

[ Aoba has no idea what Noiz is talking about, but he nods along emphatically anyway - giving a show of support and affirmation to lend some credibility to their joint prank. If they can pull this off, Noiz has earned himself a free pass. ]

Noiz, we're really fortunate that he's taken the time to let plebs like us understand. It's the least we can do to make up for the failings of others, right?

[ He puts a hand over his own heart, feigning dismay over the injustice done to this great... something or other guy. ]

We can show him how to take a selfie and put together a Friendr fitting for such an amazing Pharaoh. Discretely, of course. Obviously, someone of his greatness doesn't need help from people like us, right?

Will you accept our humble gift of Knowledge of... Social Media and Memes, O Ramesses the Great?

[closed]

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I'd typed a response but forgot to login so it didn't post. I'm a fool.

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caitie is my favourite fool

wheezes

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