riverviewlogs | OTA LOG: ACID RAIN EDITION

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OTA LOG: ACID RAIN EDITION

who: loki laufeyson (616) and you!
what: prompts taken from the july tdm
when: post-july 20th
where: all over
warnings: tba

1. RESCUES IN THE ACIDIC RAIN.

[ Whenever Loki ventures out into the foul weather he conjures a green magical shield, the same he last used when Leah's construct was attempting to sever his head in Mother's dimension. Droplets that spatter all over it flash a pale lime-gold so that it appears he may be walking around in a glittery bubble, but the fact remains he only dons the protective enchantment to get from Point A to Point B; reaching outside of it is an unpleasant experience even for him.

That's how it starts, anyway.

He eventually finds himself an inadvertent taxi service for anyone caught in the downpour. Whether it's a person hunched down against an abandoned vendor's cart, someone shrieking in a panic as their tenth umbrella of the day turns to tatters, or reluctantly agreeing to ferry food from one household to another (no good deed is too menial for him this week) the God of Mischief is obliging to those in need.

But he doesn't decline any rewards for services rendered, either. ]

2. FIREFLY AT 2AM.

[ The magical shield also happens to glow in the dark, making it a point of interest for anyone with eyes who happens to spot Loki moving around the Quarantine like a mobile nightlight, along the streets and up the glassy walls of skyscrapers. Green orbs swish overhead and light his way as though streetlamps are bobbing along at his request.

If anyone wants one, they are free to shout him over from their hidey-hole. There's not much else to see out there that wanders around so casually in a corrosive downpour, let your curiosity take over. ]

3. A REAL BOAR OF A TIME.

[ With his spellcraft invulnerable to something as ordinarily challenging as acid rain for everyone else, one way or another word gets out about what Loki can do and he feels compelled to help some of the teams ranging out into the jungle intent on setting up their scientific dohickies. The most important turn of events, he feels, is that with his full-body bubbleshield there is no need for a fugly bodysuit, while on the flipside his permanent shimmer in the drab conditions mean that Loki is often requested to head up the front of a party.

When boars attack, the green glow of his shield is joined by the crimson glimmer of his ancestral blade Laevateinn, slashing down their beastly opponents in two or three nimble strikes. Curious why it doesn't take much more effort than that? Loki himself will shrug and tell you, ]

The blade cuts through any hide.

[ It can be intensely handy sometimes when people can bear to have such a dangerous thing around, much like Loki himself. Additionally, he provides marshmallows for those hard at work in the jungle. ]

4. DRAINED.

[ A near daily, constant use of sorcery has Loki on edge during rare moments, rubbing his head as he takes refuge in shops and under eaves of buildings when his headache worsens. He can be found with his feet up on overcast veranda benches, taking a break from supporting his own shield and the magical orbs loaned out across the city, tired-eyed and usually nibbling at a snack for an energy boost. Not that he needs to eat anything, it's more a comfort thing. Mental rousing.

Anyone who spots him will find he doesn't leave in a hurry when approached and those who depend on his magical orbs are free to call him up and find out why their rooms have suddenly gone dark. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Tony doesn't say anything as Loki breaks the kiss and presses his face into his shoulder. Tony just wraps his arms around Loki, lets his fingers slide between layers of fabric, and moves them in slow, soothing motions. the engineer keeps his lips pressed to his temple, murmuring apologies whisper quiet into the dark hair. he feels like he should have done more, that he should have realized that Loki was not aware, that Loki would have doubts and assume the worst of all things because of who he was, who they were.

wonders how many times he has made Loki think of himself as less than and hates himself a little for him.]

I am sorry, that I never-- that I wasn't clear.

I duh-didn't expect that fuh-from you.

[ He really hates being an ugly crier, rubbing his sniffling nose on his sleeve and smudging fat tears out of his eyes. It's an effort to raise his head just enough to do that, keeping his eyes down and long black bangs like a veil of bars between them. ]

Suh-Sorry.

[ Give him a moment to stop being a mess. ]

[ Tony doesn't hesitate to push Loki's hair from his eyes, smile soft as he leans in and kisses the corner of Loki's eye, the crease where tease still pool as if to help stop them.]

Not sure you are the one that has to be sorry, love.

[ the words are quiet still, but pressed into the skin of Loki's cheekbones, trailed down as Tony nuzzles the god and holds him close. there is still that undercurrent of guilt, the knowledge that he is the one that has brought Loki to tears, has made him doubt. it isn't a good feeling. but he ignores it for now and ensures that Loki knows that he means what he said.]

And what didn't you expect?

[ They are angled close and every soft brush of Tony's lips over Loki's face draws out more truths like poison from a wound, hiccups diminishing. He keeps his head down, rubbing his nose. ]

I didn't expect you to want more ...

[ Wherein lies a lot of guilt admitting that, so Loki hurriedly tries to out-speak the way Tony thinks. ]

You didn't ask for anything, I thought you didn't care either way. [ Nothing was held back when it came to other people. ] I'm sorry.

Edited 2017-08-06 21:09 (UTC)

How is that-- Loki that isn't on you. Like you said, I didn't ask. I didn't--

[ there is a pause where Tony tries to gather his thoughts, keeps a hand on Loki moving in slow circles as he thinks and tries to put together all the things they never said and all the times that Tony missed the chance to make sure this misunderstanding didn't happen. ]

You didn't seem to -- I didn't want to ask more of you than you could give. More than what you wanted to give. Which I believe is still up to you, Starshine.

What are you asking for?

[ Loki can fully accept he has made mistakes and missteps with this amorphous Thing they have been nursing behind closed doors and under their breaths, he can make himself okay with keeping it that way ... but he has to hear it from Tony first.

Finally raising his head to share some blotchy cheeks and red eyes, he sniffs and determinedly stares down the genius, willing some common-sense into him. ]

Tell me what you want.

[ there is a moment where Tony doesn't say anything, not because he doesn't have an answer, but because he knows that there is honesty that needs to be shared all around and he refuses to make that mistake again. he refuses to not be honest when it is something that they both deserve.]

I want whatever you will give me Loki. But I also want you to know the truth of things.

[ perhaps he is being dramatic, but since the masquerade just a few days ago, Tony hasn't exactly been able to stop thinking about Steve and the way the blond kissed him, like he cared like he wanted Tony as something more than a friend. they haven't talked about it, though he knows that they will.]

You know that the Steve's won us, the other Tony's and I, at the auction, yeah? Well Steve, my Steve... [ Tony lets his hands fall away, light and barely there against Loki's thighs.] He kissed me. We kissed. I won't say it wasn't a mutual thing. Steve-- [ there is a wistful look on his face, something utterly besotted about it because Tony was more emotions than logic no matter what he might say.] I've loved him for a long time, and I won't ask you to be with me without knowing that.

But that doesn't change that I do love you.

[ His lip curls as he sits back a little, tired as he shakes his head. The familiar feeling of hitting his face on the ground lurches up in his memory because the sensation in his guts is the same when Tony admits what he does. Instead of responding to it directly, sighing as the hope wheezes out of him that he could have this one person to himself just this time (you can never be anyone's forever), Loki needles home his point with a look.

I wonder if the other Laufeyson feels as warm inside knowing that.

But if that isn't sufficient, he voices something closer to home, too. ]

You say you love me, although he's your first choice. The romance is rapidly dwindling from your claim.

Edited 2017-08-06 22:19 (UTC)

[ what Loki says isn't wrong, not entirely. thought Tony has some nuances to pick at. there is a quirk of his brow, something that isn't quite defensive but isn't really neutral either. he will never regret telling Loki this truth, can't because it is something that has always been a truth for him, even before Steve made any overtures. ]

I don't recall saying he was my first choice, Loki. I simply stated that I love him, and that it was a fact I wasn't about to deny or hide. We're not-- we've never been anything more than friends, hell might never be, but I also am not going to lie that it happened, especially not to you. You deserve the truth, so that is what I am giving you.

My face is still wet from literally crying over you and you're letting me down over some other guy. Incredible.

[ He covers his face with his hands and his laughter turns into hiccups again until he presses harder and forces himself to stop that. When he drops them he doesn't quite look Tony in the eye and shrugs with careless abandon. ]

Whatever, you haven't exactly had a monopoly on me either.

[ oh my god, Loki he isn't-- that isn't what is going on here at all. though, beyond the swell of frustration (emotions are so much easier to dredge up at times like this) Tony knows that it is easy for Loki to see that, easier perhaps than to see what Tony is saying. safer even.

Tony curls his hands around Loki's wrists, not hard or demanding, but anchoring. he doesn't let go even when Loki drops his hands and tells him that Tony 'didn't have a monopoly'. and while Tony knows what that means, he doesn't know how to respond. for all of his brains, knowledge on how to deal with wounded godlings isn't something he knows well enough.]

I never asked monogamy of you, so that-- that is fine. But-- gods above Loki are you actually telling me you don't think it possible to love more than one person? That any thing I feel for Steve somehow negates the love that I have for you? Is that what you are trying to tell me? Or are you trying to tell me you don't want this, don't want me?

I don't want to be loved second! I want to be everything and enough, not an addition.

Not again.

[ His wrists twist in Tony's grip not to escape but for emphasis, willing him to understand why Loki doesn't want to play runner-up to yet another burly blonde ... which is how this feels. ]

We can still do this but don't tell me you love me too, or as well. I don't want to be loved just because Rogers isn't stuck to your face, Anthony. You can't say a game-changer like that and then dilute it, I'd rather you didn't bring it up at all.

[ there is a moment where Tony just stops. stills with his hands barely there against Loki's skin as he watches and listens and puts things together. for someone who is a genius, there are times when he misses things that are obvious, and this seems to be one of those times. he thought that being honest with Loki, the way he always promised he would be with Steve, would be the best course of action. that lying or hiding anything would be the worst thing to do (who tries to lie to the god of lies, after all?).

now, Tony sees that perhaps that wasn't what was best for Loki. it was what was best for him, and that wasn't fair either.

there is a quiet noise caught behind his teeth as he drops his forehead, gentle against Loki's shoulder just in case the god wishes to leave. ]

....I'm sorry.

[ as if that could change things, because he won't take back what he said, he does love Loki, but he also knows that maybe that isn't enough. ]

[ Letting Tony lean on him, Loki closes his eyes and resists the urge to vanish; that would be childish and fix nothing, it's a stupid instinct when things go wrong and he has to train himself out of it. This hurts now, knowing that neither Loki is enough for either Avenger and he isn't sure his respect for Steve and Tony is as high as it was moments before that confession, because at the very least Tony is being honest (foolishly, but still, he has good intentions) yet his twin deserves better in an effort not to push him into a lonely insanity. No one ever seems to care what happens to any Loki until they have one burning down houses on their street and it's too late to ask why.

Taking a deep breath, he turns his wrists around in Tony's weak grip and takes his hands with a grounding squeeze. ]

I know you and he are irreversibly bound, one way or the other. If we were both hanging off a cliff and you could only save one, I've never been in any doubt you would choose him every time. I'm still here despite that.

[ Loki touches the back of Tony's head, stroking through his hair to try and underline his words. ]

How did the saying used to go ...? I am Loki and I will not sit long in any box made for me ... [ With a new amendment as he speaks into Tony's crown seriously. ] ... especially if it's your crowded heart.

[ In a small voice, he clarifies, ]

Pretend it's just us.

[ the fact that Loki doesn't vanish, worn thin or not, makes Tony a little pleased. makes him a little thankful that they can at least talk this out, that he is given the time to process and reconfigure the information that he has apparently looked at so very wrong. Tony grips Loki's hands when the god turns them in his own, head tilting enough to look down at them as if that might help him process this. usually, people were easier to understand than this, but then again that is on Tony for thinking that Loki might be anything like a normal person. wasn't half the reason why he loved him so much because Loki was anything put predictable?

the fingers in his hair make his shoulder sag, the words that Loki speaks resonating in his bones. he wants to deny it, that he would find a way to save them both even at the cost of his own life, but he knows that at the core of the statement, what is being said is true. Tony has always chosen Steve, and the times where he hasn't, he has regretted it immensely.]

Schrodinger's Loki then. [ the words are whisper quiet as he pulls his head back, small smile on his face.] In the box and out of the box at the same time until you make it pick one.

[ there is another beat, Tony searching Loki's gaze as he does before he nods, even as his brows furrow, like he is trying to solve an equation that is still missing a variable.] And you are okay with that?

Edited 2017-08-08 15:01 (UTC)

[ A wan smile hides in Tony's hair until the engineer moves and Loki finds himself with two very blue eyes to drown in, anchors of knowledge weighing down the happiness of what could have been in this moment.

That's the closest you've come to happiness in a long time, Ikol. You didn't deserve it, of course. ]

I'm okay with being enough that you want me in spite of your feelings for the Captain, yes. To even contend, I imagine ... that must be a lot.

[ Muted though the agreement is, he slides a hand along Tony's jaw and kisses him chastely, lingering to taste the sweet softness of his lips and rub his smooth chin on bristle, demurely affectionate. ]

[ the engineer is trying to figure this out, lay out the lines and solve for x when he thought he had it down. he doesn't want to lie to Loki, doesn't want to make the godling think that he is anything less than amazing because to Tony he is so much more. he has been given the time to see that, to see beyond the masks and the stories and the false smiles and he likes what he sees.

for a moment he wonders if he is enough for Loki.

but when he looks up and meets Loki's eyes he can't really hold that thought. not really. there are things he wants to say, apologies to make really, but Loki kisses him softly and Tony wonders just what the fuck he has done for this to be a thing that is okay. a thing he can have, even if it is briefly.

he holds no doubt that, eventually, Loki will grow tired of him, but--]

You are more than enough and know now that I will never compare you. [ couldn't compare them really. but he swallows down the rest of his words and moves to kiss Loki again, this time a little longer, fingers moving up to slide around Loki's shoulders and into the hair at the nape of his neck.]

Hmmm ...

[ Humming his approval, he pushes up Tony's shirt and paws over his skin with a spread palm, seeking out the soft hairs that trail south and following them up and down from navel to collar.

He trusts that Tony means what he says. Although, still shaken as he is by very nearly believing he had something precious and all for him, he decides to stop being a fanciful fool and embrace the reality they are now stuck in, ugly and possessive as it can only be whenever Loki thinks of Tony's love for the Captain. ]

I have a proposition.

[ Kisses turn sticky as he licks his way into Tony's mouth, briefly tasting him as nails scrape down Tony's chest. Loki nips his tongue, eyes green slits in the gloaming of a dismal, rainy afternoon. He never stops touching Tony for a second, stroking his way lower to cup him through his pants with light pressure, a hand braced on his heart. ]

Whatever you swear to your other lovers, whenever they come along and whoever they are, I'm the exception to it all. If you promise them a happily-ever-monogamy-after then I won't hold you to any of it, you can still have me in the shadows and the night, when they're fast asleep and dreaming of you beside them.

[ A long lick travels up a rough jaw to Tony's ear where Loki's offer purrs, nuzzling the softest skin behind. ]

You can have me in the daylight too, when you bore of striving to be better for them, of straining to meet their expectations, and I'll take you without question.

I'll keep you, Anthony.

[ the noise Loki makes settles something in him, makes Tony feel-- not better, but less like he is falling down a hole with no way out. less like the darkness is trying to consume him and more like it was an embrace. it leaves Tony humming, a quiet exhale that hitches when Loki's hands, cold and deft, make their way along the lines of his skin. when he shivers it isn't entirely from the cold.

there is still a sense of loss in his bones, even as Loki chases the sharp exhales of his breath, brings small noises of want to fall from his lips with the scrape of nails on his skin. like even in this, there is something he has missed. but he ignores it and kisses Loki back, aware that this is as much a distraction as it is a balm to soothe, and doesn't try to stifle the groan of pleasure when Loki nips and presses and plays Tony so easily.

like he knows exactly what it takes to slow down his thoughts and get Tony to just feel.

blue eyes are clouded when he looks to green, one hand coming up to settle over the hand that is on his heart while the other presses fingerprints into Loki's hips, waiting and listening. he doesn't respond right away, shivers at the touch behind his ear and sighs before turning to catch Loki's mouth with a kiss.

unlike before, it is not soft or hesitant. it is demanding and scorching and Tony trying to say everything he has failed to say thus far; that Loki is enough, that Tony loves him, that he is sorry, that he wants this in whatever form makes Loki happy. he bites at the gods lips, tugs him closer when he sways away, and presses his hand to the swell of Loki's back to keep him right where he is, straddling Tony easily in the rain.]

Is that what will make you happy, Lokes? [ the question is bitten against his jaw, the thin skin where a mark blooms easily even if it fades quickly.] Because I will give you that, I will give you me in that capacity if you want it.

[ It's a soothing game on his own nerves, playing with Tony's senses and lulling that brilliant mind's defences so that Tony becomes a creature of hedonism. Groans rumble in the back of Loki's throat as he arches into every touch, pouring an ardent answer into That Kiss because he can't say any of it out loud either; they're both ironically useless at words when it comes to this.

He certainly feels loved again. It's enough to forget everyone else for the time being and simply gasp as teeth rake down his jaw, letting Tony hear how desire burgeons even when Loki's cheeks are drying from tears. Lets him feel it in the press of a half-hard cock through leather pants as they drag over Tony's lap. ]

I'm happiest whenever I get to have you, end of story.

[ there is the faintest whisper of doubt, that this will be enough for Loki. and while he never thought that the godling might want him, in any capacity beyond a bedwarmer, he is starting to realize that he was wrong. that there was more to this and perhaps in being honest, he has set it alight before he even tried at it. is thankful that Loki knows how to pull his attention elsewhere, outwards to the body astride him and the noises of promise and pleasure against his skin.

between one heartbeat and the next, Tony makes a vow to himself to do whatever he can to make sure Loki knows that, no matter how things go with Steve, Tony does love him. that it isn't a question or a competition. he digs his fingers into skin, slides his hand up to cup Loki's jaw and leaves a softer kiss, a sweeter one, a contrast to the way his hips roll up as best they can.]

Then you have me. Beginning of story, if you will.

[ Beginning of story. That's good, it sounds much better than a love confession served up with cracks in it.

Loki nods as they kiss on the bench for a while longer, soft noises parting whenever they briefly break for breath. The summation of his day (and a more than stressful afternoon) takes its toll, however, and the state of his arousal remains languid and lazy, unable to truely inspire aching limbs and a worn out heart. An arm is wrapped around Tony's neck and there Loki buries his face for a second time, one hand still glued to the front of a hot mortal chest where it shows great reluctance in leaving.

He shakes his head, barely stifling a yawn. Sags into Tony. ]

I can't ... not right now. [ It would be easier to enjoy his slow-burn lust if they were in a bed as Tony suggested earlier, away from the acidic dangers of the oncoming night as the wind picks up. What with everything they have gone through today he doesn't mind admitting why he was really stuck out here like a stray cat. ]

I couldn't summon a shield to get back to the Sanctum on my own, it was supposed to be easier after I took a nap ...

[ even without Loki speaking, Tony knows that the god isn't up to anything more than lazy kisses and slowly burning pleasure. and really? Tony is more than okay with that. he wonders if Loki will hold to his 'proposition' when there is just quiet moments and each other's presence to be had. because Tony-- Tony doesn't just want sex and secret rendezvous, that hasn't been his thing for a long while. and while he knows that he falls in love too fast and too far--

well, he doesn't regret it.

as the kissing slows, Tony hums against the curve of Loki's ear, smile finding itself pressed against the skin there as Tony wraps his arms around him tighter.]

The Sanctum? Is that where you have been hiding then. [ he moves his hands to leave slow, calming circles against Loki's back, leaving another kiss against his temple. ] Firstly, do not think I only want you around for this, for physical things. I wasn't lying when I said my door was always open, hell I can teach you more welding if you would like. [ he hopes he isn't pressing too hard on this, the small cracks still fresh. ] Secondly, I am sure if you give me a moment with the armour I can configure it to give us a bit of an umbrella if you want me to carry you back there?

Edited (lets pretend i can type) 2017-08-08 20:00 (UTC)

[ Loki sticks out his tongue when Tony easily susses out where the godling has been crashing. He would like to pretend he turns into an omnipresence whenever he isn't around the apartment but that just isn't true, Loki requires a roof over his head and some cosy blankets as much as anyone.

It never occurs to him to curb his affection or pretend he wants more from Tony. That clause stands as a safety-net in case Tony is stolen away (he's not really yours, Ikol) by some blonde beefcake or other, it doesn't affect Loki's natural inclination to turn into a limpet around him without shapeshifting. ]

That sounds really dorky.

[ But also very sweet. The truth is he worries over his precious boots and coat, which can't be easily replaced without an awful lot of magic that he isn't in the mood to conjure tonight. Loki turns his head and noses the indent of Tony's cheek, wheedling even though his cause is a lost one; it's supremely unlikely he'll get his way, but no one ever got anywhere for a lack of trying. ]

Isn't there a spare suit I could borrow?

[ Tony's laughter is bright at the face, the thing curled around his gut loosening ever so slightly. he understands why Loki wouldn't want to be around the apartment all the time and he knows that Stephen is as trustworthy, if not more, than most. not to mention the two of them probably get along well with the magical side of things.

it is probably more comfortable than the workshop Tony has as well.

either way, Tony appreciates the way Loki stays against him, lets something amused and almost childish wriggle into his words as noses at Tony's cheek. it keeps the smile on Tony's face even as he squeezes at his hips in an apology.]

Mmm, sorry love, no spare suit. I am sure I can piggyback you with the suit, and make sure all of you is covered. This does have the capabilities to turn into the HulkBuster if needed. [ there is only the smallest of flickers of grief in his eyes at that, barely there. ] Unless you want to nap here and wait it out?

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