[closed]

[alchemyfreak]

who: Catch-all post for Edward Elric
(Alphonse Elric, Jacob Kane, Frankenstein, Tony Stark (MCU) - will add if/as needed)
what: varies - catching up, explanations, and new meetings.
when: Sometime after the exploratory mission debriefing on floor six / the next day / 7/23
where: Mostly the beach for Al / Floor six for Cain and Tony / Coffeeshop for Al and Frankenstein
warnings: Discussion of rather graphic death, potential for details. If you're FMA '03 familiar, think Nina. Cain's log will also be about death!

Appropriate tags will have warnings in the subject line, should this come up.

Comments

[alkahestic]

Al watched as Ed's posture changed. It was one he'd seen before, but not for a long time. The posture of a broken Edward who had lost everything, the posture of a boy who'd seen how even a loving father could become a monster. And the reason is worse than he could imagine. Again, he was reminded of that night below central. After he'd disappeared because he'd used the Stone to revive Ed, he didn't see what happened next. He can imagine, though. And the image in his head is not too different from the one standing before him.

But the difference here was that Ed had saved him. Had done so many times while in that place called Purg, Ed was forced to do the worst thing possible. Al can't imagine what it must've done to his brother. Being unable to touch him must have been the least of that. Of course, not touching him, not reaching out was a bad enough nightmare for Al as things were. They had already sacrificed so much to achieve just that.

"Brother..." he murmured, lifting a hand to set on his brother's shoulder if Ed allowed him. It's hard to come up with words to say in response, but at least he knows that Ed would never have done it of his own accord. In Al's mind, it was whatever had taken control of him that was responsible.

"It's not your fault," he continued, shaking his head. "You never would've done that, even if I asked. It was the thing inside you, right? It's not..."

His words faltered and he could come up with more reassurances. In the end, he would have to hope that Ed would believe him.

"I've done terrible things too," he finally said after a few seconds of silence. "When I opened the Gate in Central- When that woman and her army attacked, a little girl was killed. It was my fault. So many people died because of my selfishness."

His head hung in a mimicry of Ed's expression, bangs covering his eyes.

"I just wanted to see you again so badly. I missed you so much. But... now we're together again. It's... It'll be okay, right?

[alchemyfreak]

His gaze snaps up at Al's voice, he doesn't shy away from the touch - but it was different. He could handle Al touching him, it was when he put his hands on Al that the memory flooded his mind, reminding him what those same hands had done to his brother as if it was only yesterday. It was, it had been what took control of him that made him do it, but that wasn't much of a reassurance to him. If he was weak enough to let it happen the first time, how could he trust himself not to do it again? It didn't matter that the first thing he'd done after Al died was ask Soma to help him kill it. Despite the protests of others, they had gone through with it, and it worked- but not realizing how out of control he actually was, how much of a danger he was to his own brother... That made him question whether he could honestly know he was in complete control now. It was a completely illogical fear, but the panic in his heart every time he even thought about touching his brother was still there, every day.

At Al's words, he exhales slowly. It wasn't his fault, Al was right about that. He hadn't done it, it was out of his control - but he'd been unable to stop it, either. He'd fallen right into that thing's trap, isolated his brother where he wasn't safe and killed him in the name of protecting him, and that thought wasn't so easy to forget. No matter how many times his brother insisted it wasn't his fault, no matter how many times he insisted he forgave him - all Ed saw in that was a weakness, an opening for it to happen again if Alphonse was so trusting. The worst punishment of all came when his too forgiving brother disappeared sometime after, and Ed never really taken the time to process what happened, instead shoving the memory aside as if he could pretend it didn't exist as Ed tended to do.

Golden eyes widened as Al continued speaking, head tilting to watch him as he hid behind his own bangs. "You didn't... cause that, Al. What she did when she came through the Gate... You couldn't have predicted that- you didn't kill that girl, she did." He doesn't know the details, and his reassurance may sound hollow, but - for all of Al's responsibility in the actions of opening that Gate, he wasn't the one killing people.

Ed actually steps forward at the question, expression still full of grief but calmer now - still making no move to touch his brother. "We are, Al... and it will. We're together... and as long as we're here no one else has to suffer for it."

[alkahestic]

Al was tempted to shake his head, to insist that it had been his fault because he was the one that opened the Gate. But it wasn't an argument he wanted to have with his brother. Al knew he had faults; he was far from perfect. His brother was the same way, and for all the damage they caused, at least they were together. They could fix things, right wrongs, and even make up for what they'd done. That was Equivalent Exchange, after all.

Vaguely, he wondered if Ed still believed in it.

As he noted his brother stepping forward, even if he made no attempt to touch him, he watched the grief pass over his brother's expression. It would take some time, he figured. For Ed to fully recover from what had happened. At least he knew his brother was resilient. He had faced worse or would in time, and through it all, Al was certain his brother would be okay. He was certain that they both would be. So he smiled softly, affection gleaming in his eyes as he regarded his brother.

"You're right. We can make this place our own, protect people, and even make up for the things we did. As long as we stick together, we can do anything," he said, tilting his head and longing to give his brother a hug. He wouldn't, though. He didn't want to make Ed uncomfortable.

"Don't worry, Brother. I know we can make it through this. We've faced worse."

[alchemyfreak]

Ed had not had a reason to even consider those beliefs lately, he hadn't been challenged in a way that made him question whether or not he still believed in Equivalent Exchange, if Al brought it up now he might not even have an answer for his little brother.

He was also confident that they'd get through this, if anything he was frustrated that it was taking as long as it was, but that had been his own fault for not dealing with it before now. For acting as if he wouldn't have to if he just ignored it long enough. Edward actually smirked faintly at his brother's words, nodding as a more sincere smile crossed his features.

"You're right, Al." Wasn't he always? "We always make it through worse, we can handle this too. We'll do it together." Just the fact alone that Al wasn't scared of him or minimizing things was more than enough to make this easier for Ed, not acting like it was no big deal - but something that they needed to accept as a challenge that they could face together.