Cisco Ramon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
franciscoramon) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2017-07-05 03:37 pm
franciscoramon) wrote in riverviewlogs2017-07-05 03:37 pm
[open] it's time to tip it off
who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all
when: july
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up!
warnings: discussion of sex & drinking
i. tech testing
[ Most of Cisco's work is done within the privacy of his workshop, but there comes a time when he has to leave and find a nice quiet place to actually test some of the tech that he's made. The one time he'd done so outside the wall, things had gone very very badly. So he makes a compromise, finds an alleyway that is within the city but deserted. Sure, he might blow up a dumpster or two and make quite a racket, but he is less likely to get attacked by monsters here, and if anyone disturbs him he can just tell them to clear out.
That's the theory, anyway. But some of the stuff he brought with him might be a bit more powerful than he'd intended... ]
ii. nesting
[ Cisco had been very tentative about his new living situation, at first. He didn't want to get too comfortable, in case Yuri changed his mind, or Eddie got sick of him. But after a few weeks, with no signs that they want him to leave, Cisco starts to think about maybe settling in to his new room. It's fairly stark, still - just a bed, some sheets, and an old couch. All his clothes are still in bags, but the first thing on his list is some dark curtains for the windows. He was never meant to be a morning person.
He can be seen in various shops in the quarantine, looking at furniture, rugs, curtains, etcetera. Cisco's not above asking random strangers for their opinion, either. ]
What do you think, this one or this one?
iii. misc
[ Come plot something! ]
what: catch-all
when: july
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up!
warnings: discussion of sex & drinking
i. tech testing
[ Most of Cisco's work is done within the privacy of his workshop, but there comes a time when he has to leave and find a nice quiet place to actually test some of the tech that he's made. The one time he'd done so outside the wall, things had gone very very badly. So he makes a compromise, finds an alleyway that is within the city but deserted. Sure, he might blow up a dumpster or two and make quite a racket, but he is less likely to get attacked by monsters here, and if anyone disturbs him he can just tell them to clear out.
That's the theory, anyway. But some of the stuff he brought with him might be a bit more powerful than he'd intended... ]
ii. nesting
[ Cisco had been very tentative about his new living situation, at first. He didn't want to get too comfortable, in case Yuri changed his mind, or Eddie got sick of him. But after a few weeks, with no signs that they want him to leave, Cisco starts to think about maybe settling in to his new room. It's fairly stark, still - just a bed, some sheets, and an old couch. All his clothes are still in bags, but the first thing on his list is some dark curtains for the windows. He was never meant to be a morning person.
He can be seen in various shops in the quarantine, looking at furniture, rugs, curtains, etcetera. Cisco's not above asking random strangers for their opinion, either. ]
What do you think, this one or this one?
iii. misc
[ Come plot something! ]
no subject
[Billy's relieved that Cisco isn't having some kind of emergency on his hand, but there's a mark of confusion clear in his expression when he continues on. Billy doesn't rush him though, lets him take his time-- just from personal experience. It's not easy to tell stuff you've been holding on to for a while.
Although when Cisco finally gets it out? Well, Billy sort of had his suspicions honestly, but Cisco hadn't seemed ready or willing to talk about it, or be prodded into it.
He leans back in his chair, and he's quiet for a moment.
Billy isn't one to exploit people, no, or hurt them deliberately. He figures this is a big deal to Cisco-- and that? Well, he definitely understands. Powers can be terrifying things, isolating too.]
I have to say-- this is the first time I've had someone come out to me. [He offers a short smile to show he's just teasing, trying to awkwardly lighten the mood or put Cisco at ease... something.]
But is it something that's just sort of now kicked in or something you've suspected for a while? [Billy isn't one to judge, not about this. They may come from different worlds, with different approaches to powers, but... being judged for just being yourself? It's not something he's okay with, whatever the circumstances.]
What sort of power is it? I mean-- if you want to talk about it.
no subject
It's the first time I've told anybody. I mean, that I've wanted to. There's a couple people who know, but that's just, 'cause they saw me using my powers and then I didn't really have a choice. So... how'd I do?
[ The question is rhetorical, Cisco's own way of lightening the mood some more. He doesn't expect or even want an answer. Because even if it had been fumbling, he'd done it, and Billy is being completely chill. His heart is still racing, but it's a little more relief and a little less fear, now. ]
My powers kicked in about eight months ago, but I didn't actually figure out that meant I was a metahuman until maybe six-ish months ago. I just thought I was going crazy at first, and then I didn't know what the hell was going on. And -
[ He hits a snag, here. The explanations get thornier, more complicated, more fraught. How could he possibly explain his own reaction to being a metahuman, without laying out the whole horrible history with Dr. Wells. Without explaining the contents of those first vibes, without delving deeply into stuff he wouldn't even feel comfortable talking about with his closest friend? It's so hard, to pull out just a few strands from that tangle, and lay them out as if they're the whole story. ]
- I'm not exactly happy about being a meta. Um. At all. So I didn't tell anyone and I lied and stuff and just figured if I pretended nothing was happening, I don't know. It wouldn't be real.
[ He pushes forward, before Billy has time to say anything else or ask any more questions: ]
But lately my powers have been, I don't know, getting stronger or something? And denial's not doing the trick so I want to learn to control them and that's the whole reason why I'm telling you and why I asked you to come here. I'm not just, like, confessing to you. Your powers sound a lot like mine. I mean... you said you can see things, right? Other timelines, other worlds. Stuff that hasn't happened yet. I can, too. That's my power. And... and some other stuff, too.
no subject
[But that could just be Billy's tendency towards pessimism too. But he's-- kind of flattered that Cisco apparently wanted to tell him, for whatever the reason.]
I'm glad you felt like you could trust me with it, especially when it doesn't sound easy for you at all. But you know-- no matter what you are, you're still you. You've still got a choice in what you do with yourself.
[But honestly-- Billy might have been ecstatic about powers at one point, but then he was told he's going to be some sort of magical messiah and it's just...
Yeah, he can understand not being thrilled by powers a little more readily nowadays.]
But you're right-- denial doesn't really do the trick. If you've got powers, you've got the responsibility to know how to control them... for your sake and others'.
[Sometimes it can be downright dangerous to ignore them, and Billy doesn't want to see Cisco's powers blow up in his face or anything. He's too nice of a guy for that to happen.]
I can help you though. Or at least try. I'm sure there will be differences... I mean, I'm a mutant, you're a meta, but we'll adapt as we go. [And maybe a little more selfishly, it'd be good for him to help someone else with their powers for once, instead of constantly focusing on his own constantly.]
But I mean, I'll need to know what other stuff is. Is it all time-related? And is any of it stuff you can actively control now?
no subject
It helps, though, that Billy calls it a responsibility, to learn to control his powers. That gets Cisco to look up once more, nodding, jaw set. ]
That's why I changed my mind. If it was just for my sake, y'know, who cares - [ Let's just ignore the blatant and easy disregard for his own happiness and well-being, there. ] - but I've had visions of other people's lives. Seen stuff that isn't any of my business. I don't want to- to violate people's privacy, just 'cause I hate being stuck with these powers.
[ He nods his understanding, that there will be differences, that Billy's ability to help may be limited. Cisco had thought all that through, before he made the decision to call him here. It's still the best option he has available.
And since it is the best option, he's not going to mess it up by holding anything back. No matter how hard that is. ]
It's not exactly time-related, at all. I just- someone told me I was seeing through the vibrations of the universe. So I can remember stuff that happened to me in a timeline that got rewritten. And I've seen into the past in other versions of reality. And the future, too. Sometimes, if I touch something that belongs to someone- [ He reaches over, picks up a screwdriver off the nearby desk as a demonstration ] -I can see where they are right at that moment, hear what they're saying, the whole nine yards. It's not like you said about your powers. I don't have to want it, or concentrate. Hell, I can't stop it. These... these vibes just come over me, out of nowhere.
[ He is delaying, and he knows it. The explanation is an important one, sure, but there are other things he's leaving off. Things that feel... bigger. Harder to talk about. ]
As for 'other stuff', I can... shoot these blasts of energy out of my hands. It's only happened once before. Eddie and I got attacked by a monster out past the wall, and I just- [ Cisco demonstrates throwing out one arm, palm forward, fingers just a little curled. ] -there was this bright blue light, kind of... vibrating, and it blew it back about fifty feet. I think... I might've hurt it pretty bad.
[ The words seem so small and insufficient; Cisco remembers vividly how the monster had yelped, how quickly it had scurried away despite limping badly. ]
Apart from that, I met someone here from my future and she told me I can... open breaches between universes, I guess? Which sounds crazy to me, believe me, but... I don't think she was lying.
[ He folds his arms tightly over his chest, finishes off with a rather weak little shrug. ]
no subject
[He manages more of a smile as he leans forward, elbows resting against his legs as he listens. It's amazing really, and he'd probably be a little more visibly excited about it if he didn't know it was giving Cisco a lot of grief. ]
It happens when powers first kick in sometimes, you know. It takes a while to control.
[He pauses, holding out a hand and focusing a small ball of energy in the palm of his hand.] That I can totally help with, I think. Well, all of it, maybe, but energy I can understand. Even timelines being rewritten, different versions of reality...
[He's a man who's going to go on to make things like that, apparently. His own utopia, his own people... he can't bring himself to say that though, especially when he'd rather focus on Cisco than dump his own problems out.]
Remember I told you I was bullied a lot in school? I learned to avoid the guy for the longest time... If it was just me, I didn't want to fight. I wasn't strong, I wasn't special. I was just a nerdy gay kid and fighting for myself wasn't something I wanted to do. Then I saw him giving some other guy the crap usually reserved for me and I had to stop it...
[He gives a wry smile.] That almost got me punched repeatedly in the face again, but then these kicked in and... okay, so I nearly killed the guy and I don't feel good about it. [He really doesn't and it probably shows in how his expression falls, not even bothering to hide the guilt.]
But my point is-- the energy thing... it seems to happen when you're in a tight spot, right? When you feel like you're in danger or you're desperate. It did for me for a long time... when I was startled or when certain nightmares would kick in. It felt like I was the energy equivalent of a porcupine sometimes. It helped when I actively learned how to control it though, when I learned how to keep my focus...
[Although, man, poor monster...]
That's-- really cool, Cisco. I know you don't feel like it right now, but-- you're pretty amazing, whether you want to actually use the ability or not. [He leans back again, thoughtful.] How strong do you get? Did she tell you that? Does it stop with just breaching between universes, seeing vibrations... or do you think you'll be able to actively control them? I'm just asking because we've got reality warpers where I'm from. People who can actually rewrite and change things.
no subject
He doesn't know where the story about being bullied is going at first, but he listens, quiet, nodding a little with understanding. A lot of it sounds, well, rather painfully familiar. The corner of Cisco's mouth tugs into just a hint of a smile, at Billy talking about how he couldn't stand seeing someone else hurt. What can Cisco say - he has a real soft spot for heroes. Then Billy is saying how his powers first emerged at that time, and Cisco understands why he's telling the story. The smile disappears, and he says in a hushed voice: ]
That... must've been so awful. Finding out about your powers like that.
[ Another thing the two of them have in common: discovering their abilities in shitty situations. Before he has too long to think about that, Billy is drawing a connection Cisco hadn't before, about what had triggered those vibe blasts. Cisco actually lifts a hand to cover his mouth, sitting back in his chair. There are a few long seconds of silence before he responds, speaking fast, mouth struggling to keep up with his racing thoughts and realizations. ]
You're right. But... not just the energy thing. The visions, too. A lot of the time, when they've happened, I've been really really scared. I mean, my abilities didn't even start showing up right after the particle accelerator like everybody else's. Something bad happened to me, and then... I don't know how I didn't see before...
[ He trails off, shaking his head. Is terror just such a frequent part of his life, these days, that he didn't even spot the pattern? But that's a thought for another day. Right now, Cisco is reeling from the truth of it. He'd been so baffled about why he had visions at such random moments, and Billy had solved it in about a minute. Clearly, coming to him with all this had been the right choice.
He is still distracted as he answers: ]
I don't know. She didn't realize I didn't know already, and once she figured out that I was from the past she wouldn't say any more. But she said I'd gone to her universe to get her when the Flash needed her, so it sounds like I was doing it on purpose.
[ When Billy mentions warping reality, Cisco looks up at him sharply, face paling, expression horrified. The conversation up until now has been a bit of a rollercoaster: admitting he has powers, explaining what they are, Billy figuring out their possible trigger. And now, this. The suggestion that he might be able to do something as massive as alter reality. It's nothing short of terrifying. ]
I don't know. I... I hope not. I don't want that kind of power.
no subject
[Maybe a little too well. Billy had always wished to be special, to have powers, to be stronger... and he kind of got that in spades. But at least it seems like he might be helping Cisco... or at least sharing some different perspective.]
It can happen, I mean. It's part of you, all of it... and it can kick in like a safeguard, I guess... a reflex.
[Same as people who run at the first sight of danger or lash out. It's just... not always fun when it's something like a future or timeline you don't necessarily want to see, honestly.]
Hey-- [And crap, he had to open his stupid mouth and scare him, didn't he? He holds up a hand in a pacifying gesture, looking maybe just a bit sheepish about it.]
I didn't mean to put something else on you. That's just-- speculation and probably not even the case. Probably definitely, even. [Nice save? Nice save...ish.]
And yeah, it's kind of a really lame power.
[He really knows that first hand. But moving on--]
I think to start, we kind of really need to work on control. I mean, we can't have you flinging monsters everywhere... although sometimes it's kinda necessary. Also, the visions sound pretty distracting too.
[He gives a pause, looking at Cisco thoughtfully.]
You said you didn't get powers right off like everyone else, right? Is it possible they're more... natural than that, or because of that timeline rewrite you mentioned?
no subject
It's... strange, thinking about his powers as a safeguard. Zoning out for half a minute at a time isn't exactly a great way of keeping himself safe from immediate danger. But when he thinks of them as a reflex, that's somewhat more fitting. Reflexes aren't always useful, or logical. They just... are. ]
Yeah. Yeah... you're right. Probably not.
[ Cisco doesn't really remotely convinced or comforted, but he does seem eager not to talk or think about it for now. There's a heavy, sour feeling of dread in his stomach that he'd managed to avoid up until that point. Billy doesn't actually have a clue one way or another if Cisco could warp reality, and neither does Cisco. Who knows what kind of awful things he might be capable of? What that power that he feels in himself sometimes could do, if he let himself use it?
Billy was right before. Denial isn't enough; he has to acknowledge his potential just enough to prevent himself from ever ever finding out the answer to that question. ]
I get why you'd ask that, but there's never been anyone in my world who had powers naturally, the way you said mutants do. I know I said 'everybody else', but there've been a few other cases of powers manifesting for the first time after a few months, or even a year. I think... [ Cisco trails off, folding his arms tightly over his chest, chewing at his bottom lip. ] ...its not so much about the timeline itself changing. From my understanding of time travel, anyway. It was only a day and a half that got changed. Plus... if you're right about feeling trapped and desperate sometimes kickstarting powers that were latent before...
[ Cisco breaks off with a short sigh, frustrated with himself. Hadn't he promised himself he wasn't going to hold anything back? And yet here he is, talking circles around something that could actually be fairly important to figuring out his powers, just because talking honestly is unpleasant. He closes his eyes and explains quickly: ]
I died. In the other timeline. That guy I couldn't decide if I wanted to make a lantern for or not? He murdered me. Which, like, sucked, obviously. And luckily the dying part didn't happen the second time around, but feeling that uh, that scared and helpless must've jumpstarted my powers and I didn't even realize it for a while.
[ He's looking everywhere but at Billy right now, tense all over, arms crossed protectively in front of him. He can keep his words casual and his voice in some rough approximation of normal, but the body language is speaking volumes. ]
The first few months I pretty much only ever had visions of that, over and over, but I don't really know if that's a powers thing or a trauma thing. Kinda not great at telling the difference sometimes.
[ Cisco shrugs, as if that'll somehow magically convince Billy that this is all no big deal. ]