[open]

[spellslots]

who: Taako & whoever wants in on this
what: Fighting monsters in a tunnel basically counts as a dungeon crawl, right?
when: Late March
where: Those tunnels!!
warnings: Uh, violence, eldritch horrors maybe, he's got some weird spells
notes: If you wanna do something that doesn't involve fighting hmu at batsecretary!!


[Regardless of who asks, Taako will maintain that he had a shitty cleric back home, but suddenly being without one at all is making him appreciate Merle way more than he ever did. Not having a team to rely on makes battle a lot more uncertain; there's no Magnus to take the brunt of the damage, no Merle to heal or buff them as needed, no helpful NPC to swoop in and save the day.

But a threat to the city means a threat to him, so he's signed up to help cull the creatures in the tunnels. He needs the experience, too, if he's going to level up and figure out a spell strong enough to get him home.

Really though he's just hoping that these creatures are easy enough to dispatch, and mostly he's right. Compared to some of the shit he's had to put up with, over-sized lizards aren't particularly scary, nor particularly threatening, though the amount of them is concerning. Luckily he has a lot of area of effect spells.

In the interest of not immediately running out of spell slots, he starts with low level spells and his single attack cantrip, which results in a lot of frozen creatures leaving a trail behind him, although a few of them have also been on the receiving end of a magic missile, leaving them just straight up dead.

Eventually he moves on to stronger shit: a large sphere of fire moves through the tunnels, directed by Taako, held still when he comes across any allies so that they can move around it, and he'll encourage people to stick with him, since he's used to fighting in groups. At some point, a little troupe of water elementals follow after him, attacking any of the creatures that get too close.

It starts to take it's toll, though, both the spellcasting and the attacks that the creatures manage to get in. His clothes are torn and bloody, and he leans a little more heavily on the Umbra Staff at some points, just needing to take a breather. Finally, he realizes it's worth spending two spell slots on fixing himself up, and waits until he comes across a large group of the lizards.

Sleep knocks them unconscious, and Taako kneels down in the middle of them, reaching out with a hand wreathed in shadow. When he touches the creatures, they awaken for a very brief struggle, before they just... die. Taako's wounds knit themselves back together, he sits up a little straighter, and moves on to the next one and the next one until they're all dead.

And then he gets back to work.]

Comments

[nikolaievich]

[He's not so sure what he thinks about his accent being complimented, but Taako doesn't seem to be joking so he lets it go.]

It could be, I have not heard of either name. What do you have, apart from humans?

[spellslots]

One second.

[He hears something coming, so he gestures for Illya to stay put as Taako steps forward. Three lizards come crawling out of a hole in the ceiling of the tunnel, but he points the umbra staff towards them and casts scorching ray; three bursts of flame hurtle towards the lizards. Two of them take 10+ damage, killing them, but the other only takes 6. It's not exactly well, though, so he finishes it off with a ray of frost.]

Okay, cool, so. [He turns back to Illya with a grin.] We got dwarves, halflings, gnomes, drow, orcs, dragonborn, and tieflings. And you can mix 'em up if you're creative.

[It's still weird that humans are the only highly evolved species on a planet.]

[nikolaievich]

[He wasn’t exactly surprised at Taako’s magic right now, not now that he’s seen it in action. He knows what to expect. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t startled by the suddenness of it, as much as he tries not to show it. He figures this is how this battle is going to be: showing off each other, trying not to be left behind. That’s fine, he can dig that kind of competition.]

I only know what half of those mean. [He frowns at he glances at the magician.] Are you human?

[The walking manifestation of tact, this one.]

[spellslots]

I'm all elf, my dude! It's almost insulting you even need to ask.

[He's just being playful; it doesn't really bother him that much, although he would like more elves around.]

[nikolaievich]

[He knows he's being teased, but he finds it hard to focus on that now that he's found he's talking to an actual elf. The signs were there- not elf, specifically, but something other than human no matter how... humanoid.]

My apologies. It's the first time I have met anyone who isn't human. I don't know protocol.

[spellslots]

If I could give you some tips on that one, I absolutely would, but the shit that holds for my world isn't gonna work everywhere.

[His tone is still light, but the comment is genuine. There are going to be landmines for every different world, things that are sensitive topics and just plain awkward topics.]

Personally I give no shits. If you got questions, shoot.

[Most humans have questions.]

[nikolaievich]

[Illya, who has his own personal set of landmines that people always seem to be stepping on can understand that completely. He’s also not exactly good at socializing, in general so he was honestly asking to avoid making any future conversations more awkward than what needed to be.]

No questions. I like finding things out myself, no trusting others. [He shrugs. It’s not personal, he just knows people will only tell you what they want you to hear. Truth is usually close, but not quite. And the questions where Taako could be cut and dry answers are probably kind of rude.]

Though I would like to know if there are more of your world in this place.

[spellslots]

Smart move, can't argue with that one.

[Trusting people is for suckers, even if people here seem to be doing their damned best to make him trust them.]

And nope, as far as I know it's the all Taako show.

[If it bothers him, he doesn't show it.]

[nikolaievich]

[Illya nods.]

It must be hard to be thrown into a world where nearly everyone is a different species. I am having a hard time getting used to it and at least I have the advantage of being human.

[He points his gun at a nearby hallway when he hears some rustling sounds. Some monster is probably going to come out any moment.]

I shoot now.

[spellslots]

[Taako makes a sweeping gesture towards the space in front of them, a silent do your thing.

Although in those few moments before the lizards turn up, he adds:]

It's not all that bad, really. Most of the elves I run into are trying to kill me anyway, so might as well get a break from that.

[Seriously, why are all their villains elves????]

[nikolaievich]

[And shoot he does, hitting the lizard between its eyes and making it go down in one shoot. It gives him a few seconds to process what the other said.]

It sounds like there's a story there.

[spellslots]

[Taako does better on the not-flinching this time, and he gives a little impressed whistle at Illya's aim. He's never actually tried firing a gun, but he assumes it's not easy.]

Oh, like - I work for this secret organisation trying to recover powerful magical items. A lotta thugs wanna get their hands on them, so most missions involve fighting some asshole or another, I just realized a lot of them are elves.

[Even Sloane was a half-elf.]

[nikolaievich]

[Illya gives him a slight nod in acknowledgement of the praise. He’s not an expert marksman, it’s not of his best skills but he’s still rather proud of what he’s able to do with a gun in his hand. Specially when dealing with monsters- though, at this point it’s become apparent to Illya they are doing this more to pass the time and not because they are in any actual danger.]

So you fight your own kind, out of loyalty to your organization? [Which, Illya think, can’t be all that secret if he’s talking so openly about it...]

[spellslots]

Ehhhh, I mean, usually they start it with the whole - [wait, he has to put on a Magic Brian accent here:] - "I want to use this powerful item to rule the world" - [He drops the accent.] - bullshit. And we're not super into that at the Bureau, cause when that happens a fuckload of people die. Which is, uh, not great, ya feel?

[nikolaievich]

I feel.

[He's pretty sure that was the only way to reply to that, really.] Where I'm from we live in fear powerful weapons will end up in the wrong hands. I can't imagine how bad it would be with magic involved.

You job sounds very important.

[spellslots]

[That's cute.]

It's not great, these guys make people wanna use 'em, so even someone who's actually a decent fucking person is gonna end up wrecking shit. And then dying. Usually.

[He says it easily, but... it still sucks, not saving Sloane and Hurley.]

So yeah, guess it's kinda important. Dunno what else I'd do, anyway.

[nikolaievich]

[Illya nods because he can relate to that feeling, even if he can’t say so out loud. Not without risk of revealing more about who he is than what he’s comfortable with (which is pretty much everything). Being part of the KGB, being a spy… there’s not much more to him than that. Take that away from him and he wouldn’t know what to do.]

Wouldn’t an organization like that be secret, though?

[spellslots]

[That gets a shrug.]

It's secret back home, but listen, no one here is gonna fucking get back to my universe and steal the already destroyed relics so I don't think my boss is gonna give a shit if I talk about work.

[nikolaievich]

But what if someone from your world ended up in here? Someone not from your organization, someone who could use the information against you. I’m sure the rules are there for a reason.

[Even though the bracelet Taako is wearing hasn’t escaped Illya’s notice. He wonders if his collaboration with the organization isn’t exactly something he’s doing willingly.]

[spellslots]

Oh, uh... [It's not a bad point, but it's a moot one because of the voidfish, which Taako isn't really sure how to explain succinctly. He hesitates a moment, humming thoughtfully, before he kinda just gives up and decides to go for it.] There's a creature that like, hides information? Anyone from back home who turns up isn't gonna be able to hear half of the shit I say about the relics cause the memory of 'em is gone. It'd just be static to them.

[And then he shrugs.]

Worst case scenario I'll just murder 'em!

[So casual about murdering.]

[nikolaievich]

[Illya takes a moment to process that. So there’s something that can… hide things? Or make it so people never see it, never notice it. So Taako can talk about things like his supposedly secret organization and it’s fine, because even if someone who wasn’t mean to hear that as around they would still not… actually hear it.

After a second his body tenses up visibly. But that’s the only sing that the idea makes him slightly uncomfortable. And yes, that makes him more uncomfortable than the idea of Taako murdering to protect a secret. What kind of spy would Illya be if he judged him for that? It’s not like he hasn’t done it more than once. Or twice.]

I don’t think I could live in a world with that… creature. I’d be second guessing what I hear and see all the time.

[spellslots]

Most folks don't even know it exists and it's, well. It stopped the war.

[His memories of the war are fuzzy at best, but that's because he suspects there's a second voidfish involved and that it's taken more than just the memory of the relics, but it's not the sort of thing he's going to discuss with someone he just met.]

And you definitely know if you're hearing something that's been eaten by ol' fishy. Here...

[He casts minor illusion and uses it to let Illya hear, well, static, the same way a badly tuned radio would sound.]

So you know when something's up.

[nikolaievich]

[Illya is used to working with bugs of all kinds, so the static while he looks for the right frequency is indeed very familiar. But it’s not quite the same- not enough to make him paranoid that every time he was doing just that there was something he couldn’t hear, anyway.

It still makes him uneasy.]

You know when they hide something from you? Wouldn’t that make you more curious? I would want to know what they are hiding.

[spellslots]

[Taako makes an executive decision not the mention what happens when people die, that their name is fed to the voidfish and the memory of them erased. It seems like it'd just upset Illya.]

Usually if someone's hearing about the relics and the Bureau they're either about to get dead or get hired, so like... it works out?

[If they've found out about a relic or had a run in with someone from the Bureau and survive it, they tend to get hired, so no one is left wondering for too long.]

[nikolaievich]

[Illya nods, because even though the idea still makes him nervous he can see the usefulness of it. And Taako has probably dealt with it for long enough to know how it works. Illya isn’t that naive, he knows Russia would use the heck out of that fish if they got their hands on it… but that doesn’t mean he has to like the idea.]

Your Bureau sounds a lot like my government.