riverviewlogs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

who: Clark and Bucky
what: Making friends and influencing people.
when: Today.
where: The abandoned part of the city.
warnings: None.

[ There are a lot of areas in the abandoned city impassable for humans. Clark's been exploring them when he can: most often he's out here for short periods of time, or with Ellie.

The past week he's been here on his own, hard at work clearing the rubble and securing the area. It's a distance from the outer fence, but that won't stop any of the bigger monsters. Clark is more worried about others with abilities coming across it when it's being used, but he plans to be here with its intended occupant during that time. Looking after him is the same as promising to be there when it's needed.

He tracks the whir of Bucky's arm, and waits until Bucky's alone. Clark lands slowly a few metres away, speaking with concern. ]

How've you been?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He can't help but turn a hard-eyed glare on Clark now, almost annoyed that he's not condemning already. Why is he being so understanding?]

By killing anyone they pointed me at. Dozens, maybe hundreds, for seventy years.

[ Clark has an instinct for the truth. So does Lois. She gets her stories by being determined and unyielding. Clark finds his through patience and his desire for connection. ]

You look good for your age.

[ It's just to misdirect while he comes up with the real question. ]

Why did you leave them?

[ If Bucky wants him to believe he's the kind of person to destroy with impunity, he has to show it. All Clark has seen is his unwillingness to be around other people because he's afraid of hurting them. That fear makes him more than a killing machine. ]

[A part of him wants to run. Not just from Clark, but from this conversation, and from having to voice any of what happened. His grip on himself is still so fragile and fractured, he's scared of losing it again.

But Clark can contain him. He's proven at least three times that he can be trusted. And, most of all, he reminds Bucky too much of Steve without actually being Steve.]

I still don't really know.

[His memories of Steve are few and far between, but something in him had stopped the Soldier in his tracks.]

I don't know a lot of things. They wiped me after every mission. No memories, no emotions, makes for a better weapon.

What?

[ He's very glad he wasn't holding anything. It would have crumbled in his hands from the shock at experiencing this much anger this suddenly.

Clark's been angry before. He can usually get through even the worse times after years of practice. This is different. It makes him want to tear something apart just to feel it crushed by his power.

He spoke too sharply, so Clark softens his voice. His expression is still rigid, and he's staring openly at the arm. ]

They did that to you?

[Bucky's every muscle tenses at that anger, instinct combining with fear to put him so far on edge that he'd be amazed if he didn't end in taking a swing at Clark again just to make this all stop.

Somehow he's found himself on his feet, backed up several steps from the campfire, expression so carefully shuttered and voice deliberately neutral.]

The arm?

[He closes the fingers of his metal fist, soft whirring sound filling the air.]

Yeah.

[He can't explain how he lost the original arm, because that's just a blur of cold and pain. But he does remember the operations that followed.]

They called me the Winter Soldier, or the Asset. [He hesitates, before trying oh-so-awkwardly to draw attention away from this.] I prefer Simon.

[ Clark too is standing. He moves away, behind one of the storage units.

If this were home, he'd be listening to his mother's heartbeat and the sound of her walking around their house. He closes his eyes and remembers it instead.

The anger's not gone away. It might not, because he'll be reminded of it when he hears that arm whir. Clark will figure out how to keep it from surfacing around Bucky.

While he's finally calm, he keeps his distance. ]

I scared you. I'm sorry.

[He doesn't know what Clark is thinking, and that's almost more unnerving than the anger. He stares for a long few moments, silent, before he takes a half step back towards the fire.]

I told you that some things shouldn't be talked about.

[And that's just the surface, it's best not to go digging for horrors.]

[ He shakes his head. ]

I still don't agree.

[ They can disagree about it all night. Clark has a more pressing worry. ]

What if someone from HYDRA comes through the portal?

[It's one of the reasons he's so careful about trying to hide. Not the only one, but definitely a big consideration.]

There's no way of knowing one already hasn't.

[It's not like they broadcast themselves, they came from all walks of life, and even the mass release of SHIELD and HYDRA files couldn't possibly eliminate all of them.]

I can tell if someone is lying.

[ He can't very well go up to people and ask directly if they're part of a secret Nazi organisation, so Clark will just be more alert for incongruencies. He remembers everything clearly, and nobody can pretend forever. ]

I'll let you know if I think something's up.

[He raises an eyebrow just slightly. Maybe that's why Clark has been so trusting, because he can tell Bucky isn't lying about what happened, or about his desire not to hurt anyone any more. He's not sure if that's a comfort or not.]

Not me.

[It's probably best if he isn't alerted to HYDRA operatives, the temptation to slip and kill them would be great and they could trigger him if he gets too close.]

The man I told you to look out for. Tell him.

All right.

[ He'd be very tempted to pay them a visit wearing the cape and not caring who he scared with his strength or heat vision.

It's an extremely selfish thought, and that's why he decided it should be someone directly affected by it. ]

Let's have something to eat. I think the soup's about done.

[It's another few seconds of weighted silence before Bucky comes back to sit by the fire in implicit agreement of eating together.]

If you can tell when someone is lying, why didn't you call bullshit on the name I gave you?

[There's no trace of shame in having given a false name.]

I'm not exactly in a place to judge you for that.

[ He's not always in the red and blue, and he himself used his middle name while he drifted. ]

[It takes a second before he understands - Kal El and Clark Kent.]

I'm not giving you another name.

I'm not calling you the Winter Soldier.

[ Or the Asset. 'Simon' is fine by him, honestly. It's a better name than either. ]

Should I be using 'Simon' in front of others?

[He would probably punch Clark if he called him the Soldier, even if it would only end in his own knuckles being broken.]

If you want, but you're the only one who has that name.

[ He smiles wryly. ]

You don't look like a Simon.

[ The soup's been cooking and smells done now, so Clark offers the ladle to Bucky. ]

I'll avoid names where possible.

[ He'll follow Bucky's lead if it's necessary. ]

[He takes the ladle in his metal hand just in case it's too hot, and tries a sip.]

It's good.

[Though, with the stolen fare he's been eating, anything hot and fresh would taste amazing. He hesitates a second. He doesn't quite smile, but his neutral expression gets slightly more peaceful.]

And what does a Simon look like?

Help yourself.

[ Now that Clark doesn't have to pretend in front of Bucky, he probably won't take any soup. ]

I'm an alien, remember?

[ This is how he gets out of the weak joke, with another one.

At least he didn't say all humans look the same. ]

[He raises one eyebrow just slightly.]

Will you tell me about it?

[It might be easier to handle having revealed some things about himself if he has secrets of Clark's in return.

He sets the ladle back in the pot for now and pulls his backpack, always with him, closer to his side so that he can rummage inside and take out a tupperware container that will work as a bowl.]

[ He hesitates.

Lois was the first to ask. His parents said there'd be people like her, but Clark finds it hard to let go of a lifetime's wariness.

Though, trust sometimes comes later. ]

What would you like to know?

Everything.

[Even though the answer is deceptively mild, there's an undertone of hardness to it. He does want to know in order to figure out how much he can trust in return, but it's also a test of what Clark said.

Is there nothing that can't be talked about, or does he have a double standard when it comes to his own secrets?]

[ He's not used to talking about them. Clark fumbles.

What was the first thing Lois asked? ]

Er. [ He gestures to his chest. ] This isn't an S. It's my family's crest. It means hope.

[Hope. That's a good family crest to have, maybe it explains a little of why Clark is the way that he is.

It's probably not at all comforting, but Bucky doesn't say anything. He just sits and watches with intense eyes, focused fiercely on Clark to absorb every bit of knowledge, waiting for the whole story.]