Taako (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spellslots) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2017-06-17 11:34 am
spellslots) wrote in riverviewlogs2017-06-17 11:34 am
[open] we tried to bury it and rise above
who: taako/taaquito and you
what: catch-all + an open prompt for AU shenanigans
when: latter half of June
where: all around!!
warnings: violence/threats of sexual violence in the thread withsmokedout
what: catch-all + an open prompt for AU shenanigans
when: latter half of June
where: all around!!
warnings: violence/threats of sexual violence in the thread with
smokedout
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(It's her turn to sound cold.)
People are counting on us- the entire planar system is counting on us to do this. It isn't fair to give up. This was never about us. (It's so hard to swallow that all of this work so far is going to amount to nothing, and culminates in her going behind her teammate's backs and changing everything, taking Lup from Taako. Letting the others fall to ruin.
She loves the six of them deeply, complexly. But what is six lives compared to the multiverse? She hates herself for this realisation.)
Maybe I can do something about it, (she mutters, eyes narrowed.) Now that I know. Maybe I can stop it, or- or change it.
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[That's how this works, it's how it's always worked because that's just who he is, and this is a stark fucking reminder. Taako never wanted to save the world, he just wanted to be happy and safe, with Lup.]
Me and Lup, and now I don't even have that, so forgive me if I'm sick and tired of dying and suffering for the rest of the universe. Maybe it can do something for me for once.
[He wishes this argument didn't feel so familiar.]
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But doesn't he care? How can he stand there and tell her that none of it matters?)
I've been dying for you, (she says eventually, and stands, digging her book out from where it had been resting, squished between her hip and the chair.) You, and Lup and Merle. Magnus, Barry, Davenport. I've died for all of you, and this mission, and I'd do it a hundred times over if it guaranteed your safety.
I thought that might mean more to you. The universe can't do anything for you if you allow it to be destroyed.
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[They've all died, it doesn't make it fucking special, it just makes it shitty and painful. Merle has died the most, Magnus has died more times than him, but he doesn't think it should be some mess up competition of who can sacrifice the most.]
I just want my sister back. [His voice cracks, and he fails to swallow it down, collapsing into a chair because he doesn't trust his legs anymore.] I just want Lup back.
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I... (She doesn't want to know. She wants to know. Lucretia has no idea what she wants any more.) When... when did she...?
i swear to god if i get jossed by griffin
[Does it matter, really, if he spent those ten years thinking that being alone was how things were supposed to be? If he's only had the last few months to really mourn her?]
griffin let it be nine or eleven years ill lose it
I... I'm sorry.
(And she did it. She did this to him, for whatever reason.)
dont tempt fate!!!
It doesn't make him able to look at her.]
I didn't wanna do this, Lucretia. I wanted it to be fine.
[He wanted to keep pretending.]
ur the one jinxing it!
(She laughs, but it's tight, forced. There's no denying that she's thrown herself straight into the deep end by probing too much for her own good- and not for the first time, sure, but never to this extent before. She genuinely doesn't know what to do from here.)
I- no, I'm glad you told me. (Maybe if she says it out loud enough times, it'll become true.) Now you can stop pretending to like me.
shhhh
Don't. [He's suddenly grateful that Lup never invited him to become a lich with her and Barry, and he also understands why. There's no way he could keep it together.] I love you.
[It might be the first time he's said it, it might be the only time he'll ever say it to her, but it's true. She's family, he loves her as much as he hates her.]
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How could you love me? (Her voice breaks; she falls silent, breathing steadily through her nose until she's sure she won't. Still, her hands tremble, betraying her false calm.)
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[Sometimes they felt safe, happy, protected. There were good times amongst all the horror.]
How could I not?
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I... I don't know, Taako. I wouldn't love me.
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[He wouldn't love himself, either, and he's pretty sure Lucretia can't hold him in very high regard, after what he's just said.]
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(Yeah, she's got a lot to sort through. She both wants to leave, and is very scared of being alone with her thoughts.)
I... (she heaves a sigh.) I don't want to fight with you.
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[It doesn't have quite the edge that some of his other words have, but there's an I told you so somewhere in there.]
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And yet. (She drops her hands down by her sides with a sigh.) Thanks for telling me, I suppose.
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[He can keep all the meaningless things secret, but when it comes to something important, he can't hide it.]
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(If he hadn't made the whole thing so transparent, maybe she wouldn't have been so tempted. But- she can't blame him for this. She wanted to know, and now she knows, for better or for worse.)
I... I think I'm going to go make a cup of something. Do you want anything?
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[He's the opposite of good.]
Can I like, go? I think I need to go.
[It's his place more than it's hers, but he doesn't really think about that, because he just wants to be anywhere but here.]
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Of course.
(She wouldn't dream of trying to keep him for a moment longer.)
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Taako does none of these things; all he does is pick up the umbra staff from where he set it aside, and disappears. He doesn't have any destination in mind, he just needs to be away from this mess.]