(open) why is he like this: the log

[heavyhead]

who: Noctis and u, new and old CR welcome!!
what: some prompts feat. Noct and also Noct, but 8 years old
when: June
where: around
warnings: doubtful

A. not a literal child

[Not by age, anyway. When Noctis isn't on his shift at the petting zoo, he can be found out and around Riverview, usually with his nose in what appears to be a strategy guide for a Riverview-equivalent of the wildly popular!! (not really) board game Kingmaker. Nerds and children might be familiar with this game, but besides them: there's Noctis.

Every so often during his intense study, he checks something on his phone, scoffs in disappointment, and looks at the book again. Occasionally he makes a note with a pencil. This is the most studying he's ever done in his life, for the record.

Eventually he'll stick a finger in the book to hold his page and flag down a passerby, complete stranger or not.]

Hey, can I ask you something? I need a second opinion for, uh, work stuff.

[it's fucking board games, he's full of it]

B. actually a literal child; after June 14

[Once 8-year-old Noctis has slipped cleverly away from the clutches of his various babysitters, he quickly realizes something very important: it's hard to make a daring escape in a wheelchair. Thankfully (uh, maybe) he doesn't need it for more than a slowly healing injury, so he makes the wisest choice an 8-year-old child could make:

He just abandons it, because an empty wheelchair just sitting in a public space isn't a concern, or anything. The boy himself doesn't make it far—in fact, he's quite literally up a tree nearby. Not very high - he is tiny - but he sure did get up there.]

Whoa—this is higher than I thought. [genius]

C. still a literal child; still after June 14

[Other fun things kids do: make a lot of noise and a lot of mess. Noctis isn't as rowdy as plenty of 8-year-olds, certainaly, but he's bored and when you're a child stranded in a weird place with no friends to keep you busy, you make a lot of noise and mess.

He appears to be playing with fireworks because he is literally playing with fireworks; little round ones that seem to go off not because he's also playing with matches, but just because they... go off after he tosses them high enough in the air. After a few he gets bored of just tossing them and takes to batting them higher and further with a giant, squeaky rubber mallet.

Surely this is not annoying.]

D. choose your own age-defying adventure

[hit me up via pm or @ melodrama if you'd like a starter! Nocts of all ages available!!]

Comments

[heavyhead]

[He thinks about this Great Dilemma while coloring the rest of the statue bright red. Hmm...]

Sugar isn't a fruit, so sugar is a vegetable?

[No comment on forgetting. He's going to try real hard.]

[cookingmama]

No, sugar is... an... ingredient. You can't eat sugar on your own like pickles.

[He's still got this argument in the bag, just you wait.]

... Why is that man red? Does he like tomatoes?

[heavyhead]

[The second Noctis is the correct age again he's going to remember this and he's going to roast the shit out of Ignis with pickling facts and he will say "pickles don't grow on trees" at least once, to prove his point. Retroactively.

It's going to go great. Right now, he's Coloring.]

Sugar is a food because you can eat it. [obviously,] Do you turn red when you eat tomatoes?

[cookingmama]

[And then Ignis will buy nothing but tomatoes and put them in all his lunches so he will just have to Suffer at work.]

You can eat dirt too, but that's not a food. And I don't turn red. I was simply asking why he was red, then if he liked tomatoes.

[heavyhead]

[i can't believe ignis is arguing semantics with an 8 year old, get over it ignis]

He hates tomatoes. They're gross and slimy, just like dirt.

[What now??]

[cookingmama]

Then he'd be a big baby, because tomatoes are good for you.

[He is truly running out of intelligent responses here.]

Why is he red, then?

[heavyhead]

[Which one of them is 8??]

There aren't enough crayons to make him look better.

[cookingmama]

He could have been... not red. [He has given up here, spare him.]

Noct... If you take one big bite of your sandwich, you won't have to eat any more. [Is Ignis aware he can just take a bite of it that doesn't have tomato? Yes, but like always, he's just bound to cave.] We'll take the crayons with us.

[heavyhead]

Really? [Well, that gets him to perk up, especially the part about taking the crayons. He doesn't have any good coloring materials here, so he'll have to make do with... diner crayons.

It's fine. He puts the crayon down and takes up his sandwich instead, considering it and how big a "big bite" is. Hmm.]

You promise? Don't take it back.

[cookingmama]

You have my word, your majesty. [Ignis even sits back and crosses his heart, like he's actually still like 10 years old. What a man.] One bite and we'll be on our way. You still better hurry before it all melts.

[He's not actually watching this bite, the man truly has a soft spot for letting Noctis do whatever he wants by the end of the day. Like he promises, he's packing the crayons back in for the trip, and even the paper even if he still looks at the red tomato man with disdain.]

[heavyhead]

[No, no, please continue acting 10 years old, this is something he appreciates. He still looks warily at Ignis like he's going to be caught taking a bite of bread and cheese and nothing else, but once Ignis has dutifully packed away the crayons, Noctis will present him with his clearly once-bitten sandwich.

Well, maybe not so clearly, but he's 8 and a "big bite" is only so big for a literally tiny child.]

I did it! [ok he also still has his mouth full because he's gross, so there's more proof]