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(no subject)

who: katniss everdeen + [OPEN]
what: general catch-all / out-and-about
when: mid-March and on
where: inhabited area + along the wall
warnings: n/a

She's traded one Game for another. A new arena in place of the one that had started to become familiar. It's been a few days now and she hasn't grown any more comfortable with that fact. Katniss hadn't liked the Alpha Complex. Far, far from. As arenas go, this one seems infinitely better. There's sun. Forest. Fresh air. That she can be above ground again makes up for all future dangers at the moment. But there's one thing the horrible Complex had that made life worth living again. Prim had been there. Her sister had been a part of the Computer's Games, but she had been alive and well.

Prim isn't here. It's enough to make her wonder if it had even been real. The Computer had claimed memories of their lives had been little more than glitches. Prim's arrival had helped to convince her otherwise. Now she's not sure. Had that been real? A hallucination? Had she still been in Panem that entire time, stuck in the hospital as her body slowly recovered from the skin grafts and burns? Those are back. The orange jumpsuit she still wears thankfully keeps most of them hidden.

Although she's been assigned to floor 2 in the community house, Katniss is rarely there. There are too many people, new and unfamiliar and therefore untrustworthy. She feels too disoriented to bother reaching out. She misses Prim far too much. Is her sister still in Alpha? Had she ever really been there? At least, without Katniss there to distract her, Prim might be safe. She had done an awful job protecting Prim there. Worse in Panem. That's another reason why it's better to keep to herself for now. She only gets people hurt, doesn't she?

So Katniss spends most of her time walking along the southern part of the inner wall, eyeing the deciduous forest with longing. That's something familiar. Something real and solid and all Katniss wants to do is lose herself within the foliage. She wants to hunt. Wants to bury the grief that eats at her every day within the area outside of the wall. When was the last time she could do that? Spend hours in the forest with her bow and quiver as she seeks out the night's dinner. If she's going to do that, she'll have to change her clothes. She's too conspicuous in the orange jumpsuit.

Although it's not nearly as comfortable a surrounding, she forces herself to explore the entertainment and shopping area. Supposedly she has a month's salary. A month until she has to find a job to support herself with. For now, she needs clothes and boots that will let her hike. And she needs a bow. Maybe then, she'll start to feel safe.

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It occurs to Derek a few seconds too late that he should really warn her why he's hanging back, because he knows how uncomfortable she is with...this sort of thing. Derek is comfortable in his own skin and he's never been particularly bothered by nudity, so it only worries him that she'll be bothered when she realizes, but he doesn't stop her when she hugs him, because he missed her.

He gives her a squeeze and smiles into her hair, taking her scent in properly as he does so and he nods against the side of her head before answering. "It's real. I'm here, I'm right here," he promises. They've bonded over their issues and Derek understands where that question comes from, because of it. It's all he can do to assure her that this isn't in her imagination, although he imagines when she sees his state of undress, she might find it weird enough to be doubtful.

"Katniss, I'm...you kinda caught me at a bad time for a hug, just...can you promise me you won't freak out? And, for your own sake, maybe don't look down just yet?" he asks, sounding equal parts apologetic and amused as he loosens his hold on her, but doesn't step away.

Even if there's the potential for future awkwardness, in the moment, Katniss is happy that he hugs her back. It means that he knows her and he might have even missed her for however long he's been here. And it means that whatever might have been building between them in Alpha Complex might have been real, too. That makes her feel a little less alone in this new place.

"I won't," she begins slowly, her brow furrowing a little in confusion. He's never minded hugs from her in the past and up until right now, he didn't mean to mind it here. Then it starts to sink in. As his hold loosens, and she looks down just enough to see the bare skin of his chest (and thankfully? not much more), it sinks in. He's standing behind these bushes for a reason. He's preserving her modesty and the thought is touching. But it's also embaressing to realize that she's standing here hugging a naked Derek. "Oh."

"Oh," she repeats again, quietly and bashfully. Katniss wants to freak out but she had made a promise. She stands very still instead. Her cheeks must be bright red by now. "I, uh... Do you want me to let go?"

At her realization, Derek smiles a little apologetically. It's less important to him that she not see the rest of him, but he knows that she's a lot more modest than that. The thing is...he'd told her about the whole werewolf thing, but he isn't really sure she believes it.

"It's okay, Katniss," he says fondly. "I just...I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I don't care. Nudity isn't really a big deal for me; it never has been. That sort of modesty isn't something I was brought up with." This is a man who thought nothing of seeing his mother or sister naked when they transitioned out of their full wolves, because he'd been raised not to really notice it beyond the action of giving them something with which to cover up once they'd come back out of it. This is a man who took on a Berserker with his bare hands while naked and surrounded by a handful of teenagers and hunters. Alcide has seen him naked. His younger sister has. Peter has. His own modesty is the last thing on his mind.

"I...listen, I do have clothes, but...they're kind of a ways out...do you want to wait here while I go back for them or...?" he offers. He can shift back into the wolf and race back to his clothes in maybe a minute or two and it'll take him a few more minutes to get back to her on two legs, but whatever makes her more comfortable he's okay with. "You could come with me if you want. I can shift back and then you won't...you know. Have to walk with me while I'm naked," he offers. "But...you'd have to walk with a wolf that can't talk to you for a while. It's up to you. I don't mind. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

She's tried to get better about it. Tending wounds in the arena left her little choice about preserving her modesty, be it with her own nudity or that of others. It had been easier when it had been a matter of survival. She hadn't grown up with any enforced stigma toward nudity. It was her own problem and quirk to contend with. Derek's understanding, his willingness to put up with her modesty, means a lot. And goes a long way in making her more comfortable.

However, there's a big difference between sleeping beside a shirtless Derek and seeing him in his full glory. A big difference. And if Katniss had any doubt that this wasn't Derek, they're completely obliterated by his willingness to once again put her needs before his. He always does this. Always seems to put her first. By now, she's stopped expecting that she owes him anything in return. This is just who Derek is. It's endearing. More than that. And it's one of the many reasons she had tried so hard to understand his explanation of a werewolf. He's right in thinking that she didn't entirely believe it.

"Wolf," she echoes, trying to remember everything Derek had told her that night. He's not a muttation - he's too good to be anything the Capitol could come up with. But he's not entirely human, not like her. Her brow furrows in thought and even though she should probably let go of his arm, her hand stays tight around one wrist. It's almost as if letting go risks losing him again.

That train of thought solidifies her decision. Walking in the forest with a naked man seems... Well, that's something she can't seem to put into words. It's extremely different from stripping to patch up wounds in the arena. More practically, what if he steps on something and injures himself? Then there's the fact that she just wants to see it. She wants to understand. Katniss presses her lips together, trying to look resolute and brave even as she wants to give into her nerves instead. "I want to see it. You. Shifting. I..." Katniss trails off. Admitting she doesn't know something is still hard. "We don't have that in Panem. I want to see it."

See for herself that he's still the same Derek she cares about.

When she parrots the word back to him, Derek nods slowly, uncertain whether she's forgotten what he'd told her, whether the memory has been forcibly taken from her — because that's a thing that's possible in the Complex, from what he gathered — or whether she's just trying to process it now that it's something he could be potentially proving to her rather than simply telling her about. He's quiet for a moment while he watches her face and he smiles just a little once she seems to decide a few seconds before she speaks.

"Okay," he says agreeably enough. If she wants to see it, then he'll show her. Derek gently extricates his wrist from her hold and takes a little step back. "After I do it, follow me, okay? Alcide and I stashed clothes in a few places out here, so we're not far from one of my stashes. I'll make sure you can keep up," he assures her, a reminder mostly to himself not to take off running just because he can.

With that Derek takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he closes his eyes and rolls his neck on his shoulders to stretch a little. At first, nothing happens; at least, that's probably what it looks like to Katniss. To Derek, he's slipping into the mindset and finding his focus point. And then, just like that, in only a few seconds worth of time, Derek goes from a man standing upright and smoothly fades into an especially hairy man standing upright, to a wolf standing on its hind legs before finally dropping forward onto all fours. His eyes light up as he looks up at her and he bows his head just slightly as if to remind her that he isn't a threat just because he looks like one. He's still Derek in there.

The small smile that appears on his face causes Katniss to smile back crookedly, feeling a little more at ease than she had moments ago. This isn't something he had been capable of proving to her back in the Complex. He wouldn't lie to her. Still, it had been difficult to entirely believe his claim. Even now, standing in front of a naked Derek in the middle of the woods, she has a hard time believing it. Impossible things are possible. For all the Complex is awful, her sister is alive again. It still takes seeing to believe it though.

"I'll follow," she promises. And she won't panic, she promises herself. This is Derek. She trusts him. That's not something that she does all that easily.

For the first few seconds, nothing seems to happen. He stands in front of her with his eyes closed, completely naked. Despite her determination to keep from embarrassing herself, she can't help but look him over from head to toe. Curiosity about the werewolf thing is the lie that she tells herself, even as her cheeks flame a little. Then, unexpectedly, he becomes extremely hairy. Despite expecting it, the sudden change still comes as a shock. Even more so when he drops on all fours and becomes a wolf.

A wolf. Just like he said.

She gasps, unable to stop herself, and stands there uncomfortably for a couple of moments. The wolf's head bows and she takes another sharp intake of breath. It is possible. He's become a wolf. He's nothing like the canine-like muttations that had hunted her in the 74th Hunger Games. Not that she expected him to be. Really, Katniss didn't know what to expect. She takes another breath and finally forces herself to take a step forward. Katniss is unarmed. If he wanted, he can attack easily. Instead, the wolf just stands there. Cautiously, she kneels in front of him to better look into his eyes. There's intelligence in there, more so than the animals she's seen in the wild. It's human intelligence and in that way, he's like the muttations. But there's no malice in his eyes. He's still Derek. He's still safe.

She smiles a little now, and chuckles despite herself. "Derek." She says his name fondly as she places her hand gently on the top of his head. Her smile widens. "This is..." Katniss shakes her head, unable to find the words to describe how surreal this moment is. After everything that's happened to her, there should be no more surprises. Nothing should be impossible. And yet? Her fingers dig into his fur, stroking gently as she continues to watch him. "You really are a wolf." Then, with a bit of amusement, she adds in: "You might come in handy when I hunt."

Katniss's response is not too far from what he expected to see. She could have believed him completely that he's a werewolf and still actually seeing it right in front of her eyes is going to be a shock. It isn't something that an average human being can do and she's only know him as exactly that this whole time. He's careful to hold very still to keep from frightening her while she processes what she's seeing and can accept it for what it is: real. She struggles with that, sometimes, he remembers; what's real and what isn't.

She takes a step forward and then kneels down in front of him and Derek sits back on his haunches, rather than continuing to stand there which, as far as he can tell, would put him in a much easier position to attack than if he's sitting. He wants to make sure that she realizes fully that he's really still in here underneath all the fur and fangs, and he isn't going to hurt her.

As she rests a hand on his head, he lifts his head slightly into her touch. He's feeling significantly more relaxed knowing that she does, in fact, recognize that he's in here, even if it's a lot to take in just to look at it for the first time. If he could laugh at her comment about the hunting, he would. He's probably a better hunter than she is if only because she probably can't chase her prey anywhere near as fast as he can. Then again, maybe she doesn't have to; maybe she's good enough that she wouldn't need to chase it. ...admittedly, half the fun for Derek is the chase, in this form.

Derek gets back to his feet again, tail swishing as he turns in a circle and starts to lead her further into the woods to find the stash of clothes he's left. It's a good mile out, so it's probably going to take a good twenty or thirty minutes to get there, but the longer they stand around in the clearing, the longer she's going to be without someone to talk to. Derek stays close to her, largely at her side and only just slightly ahead. If she were to reach out with her dominant hand, she'd still be able to reach his back at about her hip level.

It is a lot to take in. It's a lot to process. Real or not real, she thinks, and this is so very, completely real. This boy that she feels safe around, the boy who has held her through the nights in Alpha and has soothed and kissed her nightmares away, can become a wolf. That shouldn't be possible. But neither should this new world she's found herself in, or the one she had been in previously. Her life has taken a turn for the surreal and strange sometime in the past few weeks and there's no ending in sight. It has to be better than the constant tragedy that has also been her life. It has to be.

His fur is soft underneath her hands. It's a lot softer than Katniss expects it to be. She's never been much of an animal person, certainly not in the way her sister is. But Katniss respects wolves for the capable hunters they are. And this isn't just any wolf standing in front of her. It's Derek and really, it's kind of amazing. A little frightening, yes, but still amazing. She probably should be more afraid than she is but Katniss' fears have focused much more on matters of survival. Her own life, the lives of the people she cares about. And as long as she continues to remind herself that it's Derek, and reminds herself of how wonderful Derek's been to her, it's a lot harder to be afraid of the wolf in front of her.

He gets to his feet and Katniss takes that as a signal to stand. She wishes they could talk right now. Find out where he's staying, how long he's been here, if he's seen anyone else. Those questions can wait. Besides, Katniss likes the silence. There's solace in the woods. Although she would rather be holding his hand, touching skin instead of fur, she's happy to have any kind of contact with him. Her fingers continue to brush his back as they walk. Wolf or human, it's the same premise: letting go risks the chance of Derek disappearing. Katniss doesn't want that.

She's in good health, and has always been inclined to walking. In District 12, it had been her primary form of travel. She's used to forest terrain too. Without even trying, her steps remain quiet. Even if she isn't out hunting, it's habit to avoid stepping on branches or leaves or anything that might give her away. This is the closest to the feeling of home she's had since before the Quarter Quell.

It doesn't escape Derek's notice that she stays close and keeps a hand on him even as she walks in silence beside him. He has a feeling that she's trying to tell herself that it's real; this place and him, both looking normal and looking like an animal. It's a lot for anyone to wrap their head around and he knows that, but it's probably especially true for Katniss, who has already been through so much. A person's mind can only bend to so many whims before it snaps, after all. He's hoping he won't be that snapping point.

The walk goes on for about half an hour, which isn't much longer than Derek had thought it would take, before he finds the spot where he's hidden his clothes and he breaks away from Katniss to duck into the brush to shift back into human form. Once he's transitioned back out, Derek gets dressed and looks back out from the brush.

"You okay?" he asks, just to be certain, as he makes his way back into sight again. He'd rather wait to make sure that she's not still processing it all and dizzy with reality before he tries to hug her again. Which, quite frankly, he'd really like to be doing just now. So long as it's not as the expense of her comfort. ...again.

She had thought it difficult enough to understand when she had seen Derek go from man to wolf. But that feeling lingers as they trek through the forest. There's a tame wolf walking beside her. Except he's not tame, not really. He's a human that's capable of turning into a wolf. That's not the same thing at all. Katniss suspects that this will take days to fully comprehend and accept as real. It threatens to break her mind but she refuses to let it. She's come a long way from the mental Avox she had been in Snow's mansion and all in a short few weeks. She doesn't want to be that girl again.

When he changes back again, it's just as surprising as it had been before. It shouldn't be. She should expect it by now. But it still takes her aback. The wolf disappears in the brush and when he comes back, it's Derek. He looks exactly the same, as if the transformation never took place. And why should he look different? He's still human, isn't he? Still Derek.

Katniss laughs a little in disbelief when he rejoins her, shaking her head in disbelief. He had been a wolf and now... Quietly, Katniss closes the distance between them and wraps her arms back around his waist. She's still trying to process it all but the contact helps to ground her. It helps to remind her that this is real.

She exhales and her breath comes out almost like a sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if I died that day with Prim," Katniss admits, the words a whisper. "Life has never returned to normal. It's only gotten stranger."

This time when Katniss hugs him, Derek doesn't show any reproach. He hugs her back and pulls her closer, smiling a little. At least she's laughing; he'd prefer laughter to panic. There are plenty of ways she could've reacted to seeing what she's just seen and most of the ones that come to mind when he thinks about that are negative. There's more than a little relief in the fact that she went with a more positive response, instead.

Derek strokes her hair, smoothing it against the back of her head in a gesture he hopes she finds at least a little bit soothing, if not reassuring. "I know, but I promise...this is real. I'm real. This place is real. No more soylent, no more stupid jumpsuits. No more being told our memories are 'glitches' and that everything under the sun could get us arrested and torn apart," he promises.

Just them in this place and this place isn't home but Derek is fine with that. This place is better, anyway. He finally releases her and takes a step back, his hands still on her arms to keep in contact with her. "...is Prim here, too, then?" he asks. He never did get to meet her...

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