riverviewlogs | open: gold & glitz

open: gold & glitz

who: Bryn Zethir & Guests
what: A Gold & Glitz House Party
when: Evening of June 1st
where: Bryn's apartment
warnings: Alcohol, tobacco, and weed.

[Welcome to Bryn's apartment. The door is unlocked, and personal belongings can be tossed up onto the bed just at the top of the stairs. The party's theme is apparent at once. As mentioned on the network post, gold and glitz is strongly encouraged (though no one will be turned away for lacking either) in clothing, jewelry, accessories, or however creatively someone would like to incorporate it. Those interested in participating but lacking anything gold or glitzy will find gold glitter body gel to spread on their skin, compliments of the hostess.

There's a bar cart by the front door with a sign that reads WELCOME in gold script. It's laden with short shot glasses filled with what looks like liquid gold. When imbibed, however, it tastes like a faintly peach-flavored vodka. The rest of the alcohol and mixers can be found in the kitchen. Clear plastic cups feature labels that can be written on in gold permanent marker, then filled with any number of beverages. Really, there's no real rhyme or reason to what's available, as guests have been encouraged to bring whatever they like and add it to the kitchen island. For those who don't drink alcohol, there's a sign on the fridge indicating that non-alcoholic drinks and mixers are kept within. Anyone looking to fill their stomach a little between drinks will find platters of finger foods available throughout the apartment. Gold macarons, cheese and crackers, sliced fruit and vegetables are plentiful, but guests who are quick enough may find they can grab some of the thinly sliced beef arranged around a bowl of spicy dipping sauce. Of note, there is also a plate of gold fortune cookies for guests. While it's noted there's only enough for one per person, the fortunes feature not only a fortune but a party challenge. Dance with a stranger? Eat nothing that isn't fed to you? Try your hand at inventing a new drink? Why not try it and see what happens? Play a game of party jenga for that matter.

Beyond all this, anyone attending is encouraged to mingle and enjoy themselves. There's ample seating throughout the apartment for people to sit back and enjoy their food and drinks, including a plush rug in one corner covered in floor cushions and pillows around a hookah with a variety of flavors of tobacco. For those who are more inclined to activity there's space enough to dance to the music that booms throughout the apartment. With the windows open the space stays well aired out and comfortable, inviting any who attend to linger as long as they like. By the looks of things the hostess has no intention of kicking anyone out no matter how late it gets...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Parties aren't always his thing, but curiosity brought him here... and an itch to get out of the communal hall after his week of recovery. He's still limping, and he has a gauze patch over where his right eye should be, but he's doing a good job of hiding his injuries to the best of his abilities. Even if he's pointedly avoiding the glitz in favor of his dumpy regular fashion.

Seeing Karamatsu, though... wow, he officially needs to check this kid before he wrecks himself. And Dodger slides over to lean on the wall beside him, looking him over critically.]

Fuck are you wearing, Matsuno?

_{[ Oh, right. This was the guy who wanted him to befriend people, or something.. and report back to him. Which sounded kind of sketchy, but if Karamatsu thought he could be useful, did it really matter what he was participating in?
He does take notice to Dodger's injuries and shows some concern in his face, but the second his attire is commented on: ]}

Ah, it is perfect fashion. Clearly, you have not heard of it.

_{[ okay, he's a very kind guy, but there's this salty side that you probably should know about.. ]}

Uh-huh.

[It looks like fashion suicide to him but hey, who is he to judge. He's worn the same hoodie every day for about three years now.]

Just figured you'd wanna know that dressing like that makes you look simultaneously desperate and unapproachable. Lethal combination if you're trying to actually get people to talk to you.

[Unless you're like Dodger, and just love involving yourself in the car accidents you see on the highway.]

_{[ You know, he remembers having a conversation similar to this with his older brother once and he came to a remarkable conclusion about what to do in this situation. He brushes off some wrinkles on the sleeve of his blazer and scrunches his nose up slightly. ]}

If it were any different, it wouldn't be honest. Ah, it wouldn't be Karamatsu-like any other way.

_{[ So he's admitting to being desperate and unapproachable, but-- he likes the flashy attire mostly because it is attention grabbing, but there is a genuine like for it as well. ]}

Do you wear something so dull to every party you attend? What is that to say about your kind of personality, then?
_{[ we're off to a great start! He's pretty defensive about his wardrobe; it's a sensitive subject. ]}

[Christ, sometimes this guy reminds him so much of his little brother. Duke takes all the flashiness of a greaser and combines it with just... a desperate, silent plea for someone to notice and validate him. It's absolutely pathetic.]

It says I don't need to force people to take interest in me.

[As he's speaking he takes a carton of cigarettes from his pocket, flips one in the air and catches it in his mouth before lighting it with a snap of his fingers. It's a smooth, subtle and graceful movement, one he's practiced countless times. It's the sort of thing that always made Duke jealous, so he figures it's likely to work on Karamatsu as well.]

_{[ While Karamatsu reminds Dodger of his little brother, Dodger reminds Karamatsu of his little brother. One of them, at least. He's got four of them, and technically they're the same age, but Karamatsu was second to come out if we're being technical about it. ]}

I see.

_{[ He doesn't seem as bristled about the conversation now, but.. ]}

Perhaps you should wear a surgical mask as well if you wish to keep people away from you, as such an accessory is used to indicate sickness.
_{[ That's what Ichimatsu does anyway-- but maybe Dodger doesn't want to look like absolute trash like Ichimatsu. He hadn't thought that through. ]}

My scars do just fine for keeping people away. The eye might help too.

[He offers Karamatsu a lazy shrug. He's honestly surprised at how few comments he's gotten about his scars in his time here, since they were quite the conversation-starter with recruits back home.]

Point being, if someone chooses to talk to me they know what they're getting into. Which... I guess that's true for you too, but it tells 'em 'if I talk to him, I won't be able to get away for an hour'.

Heh. You say that as if it's a bad thing. I would much rather engage in conversation with somebody for a longer period and build our friendship than have many friendships with little conversation.

_{[ speaking of.. ]}

Surely you're one of those people who wish to talk to me for an hour, oui?

[This gets a smirk out of him.]

I don't mind talking to you.

[He reaches over to ruffle Karamatsu's hair playfully, as if it wasn't clear enough he sees the guy as a little kid.]

Speaking of talking, you an English major or something? [There has to be some explanation for the purple prose. They cannot live in a world of chaos.]

_{[ Okay, well.. that is another thing he doesn't like, and he grimaces. The second Dodger pulls his hand back, Karamatsu reveals a comb from his back pocket and combs it straight down into place once more.
He looks completely taken off guard by the question, though and shifts his eyes away from Dodger for a second before looking back at him, hand frozen on place over his sleek, black bangs. ]}

Major? Ah.. as in a university?

[There is a flash of affection in his expression, but he manages to hide it a moment later. Seriously, just like Duke and his dumb pompadour.]

Yeah, college shit. You talk like someone who's been reading one too many of T.S. Eliot's great works.

_{[ He could be like his youngest brother, Todomatsu, and lie about attending Keio to impress people, but..
He's just a little bit better than him. Actually, he's a lot better than Todomatsu if you can look past the embarrassing side he has.

The look of surprise is replaced with another confident face that he tries so hard to fool people with: ]}

Ah, in regards to education.. I have.. no plan! As far as reading goes, I do read a lot, seeing as there isn't much busy work for me to do..
_{[ He does read a lot, it's very true. He reads.. a lot of porn and fashion magazines, but Dodger doesn't need to know that. ]}

Ah.

[Well, if Karamatsu was aiming for a sort of familial disappointment, he sure got that.]

I uh. Never ended up going to school, so college is outta the question. Figured you'd have your life in better order, but I guess we're both fucked, huh?

[That's his weird way of saying stay in school, kids.]

_{[ Karamatsu just stares at Dodger for the longest time. Figured you'd have your life in better order, huh? Did he really give off that impression? If so, that was a first. Maybe it's just because they're well-known (I wouldn't say popular—) back home. It was hard to not be known when you're apart of a set of sextuplets. That being said, everyone watches everything you do-- everyone knows that all six of you are lousy losers who can't make something of themselves.

Maybe that's why nobody ever told Karamatsu they thought he had his life in order. Everyone already knew that he and his brothers didn't. ]}

W-Well.. when I remember things like this, I tell myself..
It shouldn't matter as long as I've got love-- friendship-- some form of companionship that allows me not to be alone.

[Karamatsu isn't a wanted criminal, so he's still got his life together as far as he's concerned. With everything that Dodger's been through, he figures it's always a safe assumption that anyone else is not as much of a loser as he is.]

Friendship is great and all, but friends come and go. You need a life plan to keep yourself afloat when they're gone - because most people worth knowing are still gonna leave you if you've got nothing to give.

[Or, in his experience, they'll die. But he has the sense that's not as big an issue for other people.]

While we're on the subject, why not study here? Seems pretty straight-forward, and the Quarantine doesn't seem too preoccupied with credentials.

[Which brings up the question of why Dodger doesn't try his hand at getting an education, but... he sees himself as a grown adult, and it would be embarrassing enough to be learning math at a 5th grade level without enemies that could find out about it.]

_{[ That's fair-- he's not a criminal because he hasn't real been given the chance to be a criminal, but you know.
The whole atmosphere of this conversation is negative and it makes Karamatsu squirm to be reminded of the truth. It's a touchy subject and he doesn't like it. He's not going to comment on it now-- he's too insecure about the topic. ]}

Studying here.. ah..
While you have brought up a valid point, I must say..

I have no plan to succeed in an education!

Then I guess I'm wasting my time around you, huh.

[There's no heat to the comment - it's actually very matter-of-fact, like he expected to have to point it out. Dodger had no chance for an education back home, but to hear someone so adamant about just not doing it... he really wasn't expecting to feel this much disgust about that.]

If you're not planning to succeed, you might as well kill yourself.

_{[ Oh-- well this is sudden and kind of harsh, and maybe the average person would understand that after having the previous conversation with Dodger, but he's a little too naive to really catch the vibe this person puts off. Whatever optimistic expression on his face falters. He feels bad, guilty, because he's disappointed somebody even if he doesn't know this guy well at all. It stings cause it's true, and nobody has really given it matter-of-factly like that to him-- but all six of them have had a hard time leaving the nest, being successful, getting a job, making something of themselves-- no doubt this very thought has crossed his mind before.

He clears his throat, bothered by the conversation again, but tries to maintain a chipper demeanor: ]}

I didn't say I was not planning on succeeding. There are plenty of other things I can succeed in without attending a university!

[Dodger's listening to him, at least - it's more than can be said for most people he disagrees with. He's watching Karamatsu with a focused expression, almost like he's trying to see into him.]

I'm saying this because it sounds like you need someone to tell you. You're a fucking idiot. [More of that matter-of-fact tone, as he watches Karamatsu for any sign that his comments are really sinking in.] You've got every opportunity to make something great out of yourself. Saying you'd rather find a job that doesn't need a degree is like admitting you're drowning in a kiddy pool. Other people are in real deep water and you've decided your problems are too hard for you. So how do you expect to make anything but a disappointment of yourself with that attitude?

_{[ If Dodger can see into him-- see any kind of sincere feelings he has, he might see a more melancholic picture than what he displays. Fearful, insecure, lonely-- those are probably the biggest ones. Though, his eyes trace over Dodger's and his insult doesn't cause him to react like the previous statement for some reason. It could be because he hears it a lot from people he loves. What Dodger might see is that he is attentive and not ignoring his words.

Something about this almost makes it seem like he's talking to himself.

He raises a finger, as if he is asking permission to speak-- an oddly polite trait that he manages to have somehow in that obnoxious personality of his: ]}

A-Ah, but I already have gotten a job here... it is not my dream job, but it is something that I enjoy doing and thought I would never have the chance to obtain!

And if it was really worth that much you'd be telling me you already had succeeded.

[He sees all of that in Karamatsu - the fear, the loneliness, the overarching sense that this is someone who has been told he can't succeed and just internalized it. And if there's anything that really cements that he should take Karamatsu under his wing, it's realizing how much they have in common.]

Be serious for a second, kid - what do you wanna do with your life?

_{[ It's successful for him because he's never quite really gotten a job. Sure, they worked in a factory for a brief while-- they worked in a restaurant for awhile and rotated out shifts. Since they're identical, their boss never found out until later since their personalities are quite different. It was a "good idea" for a short time, though.

The question he asks is one Karamatsu isn't sure if he can answer correctly because he isn't exactly sure of who he is or what he wants, but one thing he has always been passionate about has been...: ]}

I want to play music and captivate hearts of the sad people. I would like to have a solo concert at the Budokan!

[For a second, Dodger's brows lower a bit. He almost looks... sympathetic.

Dodger had wanted to be a musician when he was younger. As a teenager the only thing keeping him sane was his weekly hideaways in a junkyard, smoking weed and playing guitar. Having his guitar broken in front of him was one of the final straws that led to him killing the man that gave him his scars.

And then his expression has hardened again, and he shrugs slightly.]

Can you read music sheets? Do you know the basic history of your chosen genre? How to compose outside of 4/4 time and C Major?

[It's a goal he can get behind, honestly, but he's an objectivist at heart. He'd rather make sure the kid knows what he's doing rather than just support him blindly.]

_{[ Luckily for Dodger, Karamatsu is shit at reading other people and their emotions, so that brief moment of sympathy goes unnoticed. He rubs the back of his neck, uncomfortable with the questions because he doesn't know all of the answers. ]}

I.. see, well. I suppose a little training wouldn't hurt.

_{[ It's kind of been a distant dream that he never fully pursued because of his lack in faith in himself since he doesn't get any validation and support from his brothers. ]}

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