open

[heavyhead]

who: Noctis and open
what: various open prompts including baby animals at the petting zoo
when: throughout May??
where: the zoo, other miscellaneous places
warnings: nothing

A. zoo/this is technically 2 prompts

[For someone who's only ever held down one job (and not for long), Noctis is doing pretty well at this petting zoo attendant thing. He gets to sit around and pet cute animals for most of his shifts? What's not to love? It almost makes up for having to clean up after them at the end of the day.

He has zero complaints about the uniform, complete with nametag, either. Actually this is probably the best part of this job.

What's not so great is how many people he has to talk to and supposedly educate, because damn, he is not great at that. The little kids are easily entertained enough, aside from the precocious ones who keep trying to correct his Animal Facts(tm), but it's a lot harder to remember everything he has to say about the various animals in the petting zoo area when there are actual adults around... He has petting zoo stage fright.

But he tries. Mostly, to varying degrees.

If you come by the petting zoo in the morning, when he's giving it his best shot, you'll probably catch him holding, at the same time, a bunny and a rough-looking, folded-and-unfolded-too-much piece of paper. The bunny is quite literally tucked into the crook of his arm, while he frowns at the paper and flounders.]

Okay, so this type of bunny— rabbit, this type of rabbit usually lives in, uh... [please save him, ask a question or something.]

[ORRRR if you come by later in the day, when he's just tired and wants to clock out and go, he'll hold up what looks mostly like a baby alligator, but for some reason, orange, and sigh.] You want to hold a lizard?

[professional.]

B. not the zoo

[When he's not at work, Noctis can be found loitering in public spaces like shopping centers and food courts, minding his own business and playing on his phone... or buying too many fishing lures at a time, or actually standing around looking like he might want to talk to someone.

The thing is: he had shit to do at home and it was pretty dang important, and now he's here and as much as he'd like to stay in his room and sleep all the time, there are people there and so he needs something else to keep busy. Which is dreadful in and of itself, but finding something to do besides mobile games? Even worse. He's compromised and gone back to the only thing he knows how to do: favors for other people. So while he loiters, there's a little sign set next to him that just says 'ODD JOBS' on it in marker. Hire him to pick vegetables or something.

He's still wearing the lion hat.]

C. etc?!

[plotting available @melodrama!]

Comments

[carrotkeeper]

[You get what you pay for and her help is always free.]

Yeah, they eat that stuff and then their families come with them to eat too. So that's why rabbits are everywhere. Even right here.

[With that, she points to the rabbit in his arm to direct their attention back to Noctis. Sorry.]

Okay, now raise your hand if you think it's super cute!

[A bunch of kids raise their hands. Can they just do random rabbit polls until closing time? Someone help them.]

[heavyhead]

[Ack, don't swing the spotlight back on him. Noctis responds with a brilliant "uh, yeah" and holds the rabbit out so the kids can see it better. Yep, just let him be a rabbit-holding prop, that's good...]

Annnnd we can feed them here. If your parent or guardian hands out the rabbit food that's right over there...

[There he goes, cleverly diverting the job of having to stand there cranking the creaky wheel on the pellet dispenser to whoever's chaperoning these kids. Genius. Give him a raise.

While the kids swarm the feeder for the next two minutes, he looks at Iris.] Rabbits live everywhere? [gurl]

[carrotkeeper]

[This tactic spares her from coming up with anymore questions like 'who's the fluffiest?' and she's able to breathe again. This is more stressful than she thought. Good thing it's not her job. Still, there's a tiny hint of embarrassment in her expression as she looks away and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear.]

It turned out fine in the end. They seem pretty happy with the outcome.

[The outcome being petting and feeding, not so much with the teaching.]

But I gotta say, I was surprised to see you up there. Almost didn't recognize you with the hat on.

[heavyhead]

[Who really comes here to learn all about rabbits, though... They didn't crash and burn, so it was good enough. The kids are happy.]

You don't like my hat? [He reaches up to pull it so it tilts forward, very punk rock, and also still a stupid cartoon lion face. It's called style, Iris, look it up.] I think it adds a little something.

[ha ha...... ha]

Anyway, I'm here 'cause they told me to be. It's not that bad.

[carrotkeeper]

[The hat is great, Noct. Don't let anyone say otherwise.]

It seems like a nice job. There's just one problem with the uniform.

[And she boops that stupid lion hat right on its fake nose.]

They should have made it a cub instead and given you the lion when you were promoted. You know, to the actual zoo.

[That's the logical progression right? Graduate from petting zoo, go to real zoo, let Iris get in for free on school days and play with polar bears.]

[heavyhead]

[He loves this hat slightly more than he loves his awful lion sweatshirt. This job is great.]

Not sure it works like that. I think "petting zoo boss" is the best I can do from here.

[King of Lucis becomes boss of petting zoo... it's fine. He can probably still swing a free season pass.]

[carrotkeeper]

That's it, huh? Then you better do your best to get there.

[Make the Lucian royal line proud. She knows he can become the greatest petting zoo boss in all of Riverview. The Astrals will smile upon him, or something like that.]

But I guess you'll have to learn more about the rabbits first.

[She flashes her phone, still open to to the rabbit homepage that she glanced through earlier.]

You wanna review before they come back?

[heavyhead]

If you're gonna breathe down my neck about it, what choice do I have?

[Ha ha. Can't disappoint his People, after all. He'd really rather not review rabbit facts, but, sigh-]

Yeah, let's see... Quiz me, I guess. Maybe I'm really a natural at rabbit trivia in disguise.

[carrotkeeper]

Alright! Now as the host of this game, I need to tell you a couple rules-

[And up her free hand goes to count down the two very important rules.]

One, you can't use your phone. Two, you can't use the kids. It's all up to you.

[At least she'll grade on a scale. Maybe he gets a prize for his efforts. Either way, now she studies the phone in her hand to get a good question.]

Let's start off easy. How long do rabbits sleep?

[heavyhead]

Wait, rules— [No, he didn't sign up for this. Iris!! Both of these rules have sealed his fate, he will never be King of the Zoo, this is the end. This is it.

How the fuck long do rabbits sleep why would he know that? Because he works here, shit—] Ten... hours?

[source: his own personal goals]

[carrotkeeper]

Close. You get a half point for that. It's actually 8 hours.

[Close isn't how winners are made Noctis. Oh well, she's still proud of him for being in range of the real answer. Her plan had been to progressively go to harder questions, but maybe she'll stay on the easy side.]

Okay, round 2! What are a group of rabbits called?

[heavyhead]

Only half? I should get a 'B'. [You know, because 8/10... let him live.

In any case, judging by the look on his face, this question is a lot harder than the first one. What??]

...Rabbits?

[carrotkeeper]

[It's okay. That's a trick question and she probably worded it wrong because there's no way Noctis wouldn't know that. She still believes in him.

Yeah.]

Okay, close again! I'll give you another half point. Groups of rabbits are a colony. Think of it like a rabbit town!

[She scrolls up and down the page, trying to find an easy question to ask him.]

Alright, final round. Double or nothing. What do rabbits eat?

[The answer is literally in a child's hand behind you Noctis come on you can do this.]

[heavyhead]

[Iris, no, he's hopeless. Another half point- he won't argue for a 'B' on that one, unless B is for Blew It.]

Pellets that smell funny. [Ah, but does she mean in the wild...] And grass.

[Tell him he did good on at least one question, please.]

[carrotkeeper]

Oh, you win! I'll even give you extra points for two correct answers.

[Nevermind the fact he absolutely bombed the previous two questions and that the double or nothing round essentially means he went from 1 point to 2. It's okay. This is fine. ]

Guess that's it for the review today.

[She hesitates on asking this next question, but might as well ask.He might say yes.]

You wanna study again sometime? I'll come up with even better questions for you.

[heavyhead]

[Ah... 2 points. That's a 'B', right? Out of, uh- no, it's not a 'B' at all. She's too kind with her fake points.]

Looks like I need it... You sure? I mean, you don't have to waste time quizzing me about rabbits.

[carrotkeeper]

[He deserves this fake A for something. Maybe not for rabbit q&a's, but there's a good deed unrewarded out there. Probably.]

It's not a waste. It'll be fun. So I guess that decides that. Oh, I'll even bring snacks.

[heavyhead]

[Well, he's wearing this lion hat? That's worth points.

That said: snacks!! He's way more interested in studying all of a sudden.]

Sure thing. You know where Gladio's room is? I'm right next door.

[carrotkeeper]

[Honestly, the lion hat is worth a half point at most. If only the Lucian people could see him now.]

Got it. Just leave it to me. I'll make you a rabbit expert in no time.

[Rabbit expert-A very impressive item to put on his Riverview resume. Worth a small raise at least.]

You wanna start tomorrow?

[heavyhead]

[Maybe they'll give him a hat with bunny ears when his Rabbit Facts level goes up. He'll just pretend animal fact studying is a cool video game, then it will be... fun...

Whatever, it seems to make Iris happy, so how could he say no?? Impossible.]

Uh- yeah, let's do that. I'll be here 'til late, so I'll meet you? [She can just heckle her brother until he gets there.]

[carrotkeeper]

Sure. I'll be waiting so don't be too late.

[Waiting! With snacks! Don't you forget her.]