riverviewlogs | [Closed] Everything is a privilege

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[Closed] Everything is a privilege

who: Cullen Rutherford, Dorian Pavus, Relm Hawke and etc
what: Checking on the electrical fences (Re: this post)
when: 9/3 - 9/12
where: Southern Fence of the Quarantine
warnings: language, violence, Thedosians?

A few days after asking if anyone else wanted to go with him to the Southern Quandrant to check on the electric fencing that keeps the Quarantine safe from the wildlife, he has assembled the group that has agreed to come with him. It's not about running away from the Dragosta festivities so much as it is getting away from the crowds of the Quarantine during these particular holidays.

At least for him it is.

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[Normally, sharing a bed with Iona has been a pleasure. However, there are moments, like now, where being touched and seen to be struggling as he does that are more stressful than he could even formulate with words.

Except, he's seen her injured and low and thinks no less of her for that than she does of him. Logically, he knows this. It's just his pride. He knows it. And yet it's still difficult for him.

There's no position of Commander to put aside in case he screws up here because of what he's going through. No, there is only the chance to royally screw up things with a woman he adores if he's not careful. So, when she touches his arm, instead of pulling away as he would normally, he runs his other hand down his face to try and get himself together before speaking.]

Nightmare. [Kirkwall this time, but same difference in the end.] Sorry to wake you.

[She sighs, softly. He tries so hard to make what he goes through less than what it is, tries to make it smaller, unimportant. Hates that she sees him struggling. There’s nothing that could drive her away, could make her think less of him. And while she suspects (she hopes) he’s aware of that, logically... sometimes it just doesn’t matter.]

There’s nothing to apologise for. I would rather be awake, with you, than asleep and unaware you’re dealing with nightmares.

I’m not going anywhere, Cullen. I swear it.

[He is aware that she is as stubborn as he is and they've bumped heads on more than one occasion, though never for very long. Also, he knows, somewhere, that she wouldn't leave him or demean him for the constant nightmares that he has. In fact, if anything, they've been less intense with her around and he's absolutely fine with that.

But he's so tired of the constant nature of things. For a while, it had been easy to forget about Thedas and the troubles there, but the longer he goes without taking lyrium, the harder persevering can be. Except, the Inquisitor he knew and the one he knows here have both expressed a desire to support his initial decision to go without the damn stuff, to make a break from the Chantry as best he can going forward.

He also knows that now that they're both awake, it's going to take a miracle for them to return to sleep. It's why he leans over to kiss her on the forehead before he leans against the headboard in the hopes that she'll curl up beside him as she's normally wont.]

I know, but that doesn't mean I like the fact that I'm disturbing your sleep. [Especially since she has her own nightmares to contend with.] It means I miss out on the faces you make.

[He kisses her on the forehead and she smiles, before shifting to curl up beside him against the headboard.]

My sleep is disturbable. I would rather be awake with you. [He is far more important than sleep.] So that’s what you do when you can’t sleep and I’m not yet awake? Watch me sleep? [She laughs softly and kisses his cheek.] I’m glad the faces I make are entertaining, at least.

[He wraps an arm loosely around her shoulders and back, trying to rein in the thoughts swirling in his head as he attempts to anchor himself in the present, not the past.]

I would rather you sleep. [She has her own issues. He would rather she be rested.] And why wouldn't I? I happen to like the look of your face. It's very lovely.

[The peaceful feeling creeping in is ruined by his sword hand cramping suddenly. He hisses under his breath and moves away from her so that she doesn't get hurt by his reactions.]

[His arm curls around her, and Iona nestles against his side. It’s comfortable there, and she does her best to provide a warm reassuring weight against him. Trying to ground him in the here, and now, rather than wherever in his past the nightmare had taken him.]

I can sleep later.

[She feels him hiss under his breath as much as she hears him, and he might move away from her but she follows right behind, reaching out for his sword hand, concerned but hiding it lest he mistake it for pity. And it’s anything but that.]

[His first reaction is to take his hand away. He doesn't want to be seen as weak, either here or on Thedas. (He can't afford it there.) But he especially doesn't want her to see him like this.

Not that he thinks she'll change her mind or anything, but he still feels that it would be difficult to be any good as a support if he's less than 100% at all times.

Yet, he allows her to take his arm because he trusts her and doesn't want to hurt her either.]

I suppose it would be difficult to sleep through this. Perhaps I should go sleep in another room.

[She can see him warring within himself, but he lets her touch him, lets her take his arm, and her touch is gentle, fingertips trailing down his arm to his hand. If he allows her, she will gently start massaging his hand, working at relieving the muscle cramp as best she can.]

Nonsense. You’re not sleeping anywhere else but with me.

[He grits his teeth and lets out a soft grunt of pain as she starts to try and relieve the cramping in his hand. He'll need that if they're attacked while out on the mission, but he'll also need his right hand for mundane day-to-day measures.

If he didn't already adore her, this would definitely help. As do her words.]

I suppose I'll concede to your words in this instance.

[Such a hardship.

While she massages his hand, he looks at her and thinks about a conversation he'd had with someone else before.]

Would you rather have stayed here for this festival and gone on a picnic?

Good. I would hate to argue sleeping arrangements at this time of night.

[She looks up at him and smiles, her fingers never pausing in their gentle massage of his hand.]

As though I would ever let you and Dorian go somewhere potentially dangerous without me.

[That would be a no, Cullen.]

Ah, so you'd rather save it for the morning then?

[He's not going to fight her over leaving their bed, ever, but he's trying to be less serious with her, at least.]

I didn't mean that. I meant, would you rather we both stay here and join in on the festivities or something like that?

[She’s smirking at him, and her voice is playful.]

Exactly. Mornings are the perfect time for arguments regarding sleeping arrangements.

[He’s trying to be less serious, and she had to respond in kind.]

Festivals are rather numerous, here. Another will roll around like clockwork. I don’t mind missing thing one.

[Despite the reason they're awake, seeing her smirk and her playful nature at work make it easier for him to try and banish everything else.]

Then I fear that we'll be fighting in the morning. At least with Hawke, as she seems to think that we can't control ourselves while out on our trip.

[Not that he would turn her down should she want to have sex, even outside and under a tent, but he knows that after going years without sex, a week isn't the end of the world.]

This one is supposed to be geared more towards romantic endeavors and certain others seem to think I am taking you away from something you might enjoy with this mission.

Is it wrong that I am sorely tempted to see how well we can keep Ser Hawke awake during our trip?

[Her expression is innocent enough, but there is cheekiness in her eyes that she can’t quite manage to hide.

And then she frowns slightly.]

... do they think I need some sort of festival for romantic endeavours? Do they think you do? We do just fine on our own, thank you. No festival required.

I see you've been spending too much time with Dorian.

[Although, he knows for a fact that she was incorrigible long before the Tevene mage showed up in Haven. That perfect innocent look she's wearing is too perfect to be be real.]

I believe they might. I was told that I have no romantic bone in my body. [Which is false. He's just not a hopeless romantic like certain others. He's quieter with his passions.] I just find it ridiculous to rely on a predetermined date for romantic gestures.

[He moves over to kiss her again, holding her as close as he possibly can. The fact that the nerves in his hand still feel as if set on fire will have to wait.]

Also, no torturing Hawke, no matter how much she deserves it. She's already sore that she's single, I think. Besides, perhaps we can use this as an opportunity to see how quiet you can be.

Never! There’s no such thing as spending too much time with Dorian.

[He kisses her, and tugs his hand out of hers to hold her close. She lets him, reluctantly; his hand is still cramping, she could feel it under her touch. She has no intention of letting him distract her from her efforts for very long, but for the moment... she allows it.]

I agree. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

[She huffs a sigh.] Must we? [His suggestion earns him a smirk.] Sounds like a challenge. [An enjoyable one, and one she is bound to fail. But it would be a well earned failure, and one she doesn’t mind.]

I would disagree, but I'm afraid that I would be outnumbered by the both of you.

[That, and he actually happens to like Dorian. It's not as if they can spend every moment of every day together, and they're safer together in his experience.

Besides, he has much better things to attend to than to fake being upset that she's so partial to another man. Like possibly flirting with her before the rest of the house wakes up.]

It would be the polite thing to do. [However, this is Hawke they're talking about. Manners are.... optional a great deal of the time.] But if you feel you're not up to the task, my dear, I suppose I should sleep in the same tent as Dorian and you can share one with the Champion.

Yes. Yes you would be.

Polite seems to go out the window. At least from the woman herself.

[Calling Hawke rude? She would NEVER. ~~Yes she absolutely would.~~

She arches an eyebrow at him.]

Oh, you should know I am. Perhaps it will be you that cannot keep quiet. It could very well be either of us. [She laughs.] And no. I’m not sharing a tent with Hawke.

She can manage it. When it suits her.

[It's just getting to that point. He and she seem to be a bit like oil and fire, in that when they spend long periods of time together, it gets messy and things burn. Which still feels like a shame because he and Garrett Hawke got along fine, both back in Kirkwall and when he came to join the Inquisition to help with the Warden situation. However, Relm is not Garrett, no matter how much alike they might be on the surface.

At her laugh, he smiles softly. It's such a light, carefree thing and he could listen to it for ages. Not... that he is going to tell her that. Right now, anyway.]

Then I suppose we will both have to try very hard so that the rest of our party doesn't feel as if they've yet to leave the Quarantine proper while travelling. Or restrain ourselves for a few nights in the wild.

[Iona smirks.]

Can she? Are you sure?

[She leans up and kisses him gently.]

Or perhaps some combination. It will be a few nights that we’re gone, after all.

I believe she is physically capable of it.

[He meets her half way and turns the kiss into something more than just the chaste thing she wanted.]

Or we can work out some of the tension before we set off for a trip with our "friends".

[She doesn’t quite expect him to kiss her like that, and it sends a warm shiver down her spine as she kisses him back. When it finally breaks, when he makes his suggestion, she’s just a little breathless.

And thinks that that sounds like a very good way to spend their time.]

That sounds like a very good idea.

[And then her hands are tangling in his hair and she is kissing him hungrily.]

[Of course he's going to kiss her. It distracts them both from the reason they're awake and is possibly going to lead to sex. Which they both enjoy a great deal.

When she returns it, he pulls her into his arms and lap.]

It's a good thing that I have a few good ideas now and again.

[He'll probably regret not letting her massage the rest of the cramps out of his hand later.]

[She settles herself easily and comfortably in his arms, his lap. Creators, she could spend a very long time in his embrace and be perfectly content. Perhaps after this mission of theirs they’ll have to do exactly that. Just... stay in bed.

She smiles at him, her voice teasing.]

Oh, I’d say it might be more than a few.

[She has no intention of letting his hand go unmassaged. Later, when they’re lying in bed again she will finish what she’d begun before he kissed her.]

[He breaths out a soft moan as she settles into his lap. If he hadn't wanted to fuck her senseless for personal reasons, that would settle it for him. Just a thin barrier of cloth is what separates them from being joined already.]

You're still far too dressed, my lady.

[He's not sure if she would prefer him to remove her nightgown or if she would like to do it. But, as much as anything else, he lets her lead their relationship int he way that she wants.

And if she decides later to message his hand that he is keeping at her waist right now, he won't stop her. It might even help him go back to sleep before they have to officially wake up.]

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stumbledfromtheashes - 2018-10-07 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

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