riverviewlogs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who Alex Reagan and You.
What: Alex needing company while she's being bored out of her mind and supposed to be taking it easy for a week.
When: Whenever you want it set for this week period!
Where: ~~Howard's~~ her and Strand's house
Warnings: None.

[Alex Reagan was not a still person by any means. She was someone who normally was a ball of energy, even when she was entirely sleep deprived and exhibiting all sort of bad judgment. Even the nights where she couldn't sleep, Alex got up, did work, did something so she wasn't just... laying there and not doing anything. This was something that she was seriously having a problem with after she'd spent the first day following the rescue basically sleeping and not being aware of the world. But now that at least some of that sleep debt had been paid off, Alex was bored, and restless and had proclaimed to Richard that she was losing her mind more than once.

Because she'd tried to work, he'd taken away her devices, which reminded her of being home when she was supposed to not use her electronics after ten pm. It was frustrating, because she was a god damn adult, but she'd also agreed to take it easy if he didn't push for her to go to the hospital. It wasn't Alex's fault that she couldn't manage to simply be stubborn and wear him down until he let her go back to normal. Nope, it was all Richard's.

Still, she'd managed to compromise for the big and comfy sofa and company so it wasn't a total loss. After all, she'd declared, that she didn't want random people in their bedroom, and she knew that he'd agreed, because well, Strand was private, save for when Alex put him under a microscope and she was making a good faith effort not to do that anymore. At least not here.

So, when people showed up to the stupidly ornate Victorian house that was still in the process of being put together inside, they were greeted by a annoyed Strand who informed them that "The insufferable one is over there on the couch. You deal with her. You may need wine, or scotch." Before he retreated to a nearby room. And when they came into the living room, Alex was propped up on pillows, and her bruises were in various shades of fading, and she just chirped out as if they were her best friend in the world even though they may not be:]

Hey!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Alex was bored. She was bored bored bored. She'd already read all of the books that she'd had access too, it wasn't like there was netflix, and if it was her apartment there'd at least be her own bluray collection. Here the only movies were Black Tapes and those were forbidden as work. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. Alex Reagan, intrepid reporter had resorted to picking lint of the blanket and counting it. Picking. Lint.

Sitting forward, Alex just looked at him in what she hoped was an imploring way.]

Okay. But I'm bored. Let's look at one tape. Please? I'm losing my mind Richard.

[Richard was sitting in the chair he'd brought over days ago, reading a book by Hawkings. For him, it was light reading, and he was doing his best to ignore the child-like ranting of the woman he loved who was, as she said, bored out of her mind.

He would have gotten something for her to watch or read, but he couldn't leave the house, knowing that she would root through everything until she found something to write on and with. Until she could strain herself by focusing on work, something that would be no help on her body; especially since she subsisted mostly on pastries and coffee when she did so. What she needed was rest, and quiet and books if that suited her. Not work.

The black tapes were work. They'd wind Alex up and make her wriggle and move around. Cause her mind to wander to thoughts of the people inside them and the concept of the contents being real. That wasn't what he wanted for her right now. Besides, it wasn't as if they could go investigating anything when these tapes contained content from their world rather than this one (he would never tell Alex that he was starting to believe that this stupid place wasn't a creation of Warren's. She'd never let him live it down.) ]

Black tapes will only make that worse. I have 'The Odyssey' downstairs if you're interested.

[Alex let out a small huff, because she knew she was being annoying, she just couldn't help it. This wasn't her, and all of the effort of trying had been used up in the first day that she was awake. After all, Alex was used to going to far and doing too much and stretching herself as thin as she could until she was almost see through. The problem with living with Richard is that he didn't let her do that.

And Alex didn't know how to not.

Sitting back, Alex wrapped her arms over the top of the blanket and huffed again, shifting and trying to get comfortable, both inside of her body and with her body. Being honest she shook her head.]

I don't think I could focus on reading right now, as enthralling as your voice is, Richard. I need something more active. Even if it's just with my brain.

[A compromise, because she barely felt any effects from her concussion, and most of the pain in her head came from her face.]

Can we play a game? Something dumb? Twenty questions?

[He paused, raising a brow at the request. To be fair, Alex had said something dumb, and twenty-questions was about as foolish as it got. He thought he might have played it a few times in elementary school and thought it stupid then. There was also CHarlie's version of twenty-questions; where she asked as many questions as she could until she'd thoroughly annoyed him. He got the feeling that this would be the Charlie-style version of the game.

At the same time, if it would keep her relatively away from the nagging, annoying Alex that she had started to become, it was probably worth it; especially since he was still all too positive that she would try to leave if he chose to get up and read in another room. Or worse yet, try to watch one of the black tapes and manage to bring up her cult kidnapping trauma all over again. Neither option seemed ideal. So he closed the book after marking his place and put it and his glasses down, turning in the chair to face her.]

Charlie used to play a game like this once. She called it 'annoying dad'.

Yeah, my dad would say the same thing honestly. And then he'd try to make me play the quiet game. [Alex's eyes grew distant for a minute, and there was a little smile on her lips as she considered it.] It never worked of course, because I'm me.

[Suddenly Alex was reminded that it was seven months since she'd talked to her parents. Twenty-eight Sunday calls she's missed with her mother making little comments about when was she going to bring "the nice young man from the show" with her home so that they could meet him. Marie Reagan was already of the opinion that the two of them were involved, so the hassel always was one of meeting her new boyfriend rather than meeting that asshole who was the subject of her podcast, but she wasn't going to mention that.

Knowing that they wouldn't know about these months didn't help. Neither did the fact that she'd told them she'd be off the grin. But she couldn't do anything about that so instead she just focused on the here and now.]

I'll let you go first, [She offered with a smile.] You ask me as many questions as you want to. I'm an open book. An open bored book for whom talking isn't a task that she's forbidden to do so I mean... You really should take advantage of it.

My version of that game with you is entirely different from your father's.

[Of course, Richard's version of getting Alex to play 'the quiet game' generally turned into 'the loud game,' and she was in no shape for that sort of thing. So he supposed it would have to be one of Richard's least favorite things. He wished she'd just asked to play Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit. It would have been far easier than trying to figure out useless questions he didn't care about while she avoided asking questions about the thirteen years of his married life when Coralee was still in it.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he began to think, trying to mull over all the pointless questions that had no bearing on their life together. This game was stupid, and he was pretty sure that he already hated it before even the first question had been asked.

Still, he had to think of something.]

Favorite ice cream.

Edited 2018-06-26 06:57 (UTC)

[Alex just smirked at him with that, because she couldn't help it, even if the ribs and everything else made that a certain impossibility. Stupid ribs. Shifting uncomfortably, Alex knew that sigh quite well. Knew it well enough to know better and to try and find something else to do, but Alex was competitive enough to know that an actual game might possibly end their relationship even when well... everything else couldn't.

There was a reason that Monopoly, Uno and things of that ilk were banned at PNWS game nights. Alex and Nic had nearly gotten physical last time. As for Trivial Pursuit, there was no way she was stupid enough to play him in that unless they were doing a pop culture edition; Richard Strand was a walking encyclopedia of knowledge and Alex Reagan was someone who relied heavily on Google. It would be an effort in futility.

So she just smiled encouragingly at him before she answered:]

Yeah, I know you hate this, but there has to be things that you've wondered about me that you didn't get to ask because of professional lines or there just wasn't time. Don't worry, I'm not going to get into the Coralee/Charlie/Cheryl thing. I promise.

Anyway, I love this really great raspberry lime rickey ice cream from this little place in Seattle in the market. If I had my choice of any ice cream in the world I'd pick that. For commercial stuff, Ben and Jerry's Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz.

And a question for you if you want to answer it: what's a food that you miss from home and can't get here. Home can be Seattle or Chicago. I'm not picky.

[Of course she wouldn't. Richard already knew she wouldn't be getting into those thirteen years of his life. If she added into that the twenty years that he had been searching for Coralee, that would take up a substantial part of his life that she wouldn't be asking about. Adding his sister into the whole thing would enlarge the 'no question zone.'

Which left her idiotic questions like the one she asked now. Questions that didn't matter. Questions that Richard cared little to nothing about. Richard would rather find out about her favorite ice cream in an organic manner, like actually going to get ice cream with her, or one of them bringing it home for dessert. It was the experience that mattered in these sort of situations, not the blind knowledge.

And yet, he'd agreed to play this idiocy with her, and it had stopped her from annoying him to the point of walking out of the room, or worse yet, snapping at a woman with several broken ribs who had just recently been about to be sacrificed to a cult. A woman who was also the woman he loved.]

Cheesesteak. It's something I only get when there's a layover in Philly.

[And now it was his turn to ask an idiot question. Several moments of silence before he asked a less than idiot one. One fairly important actually.]

When I spoke with Amalia, why did you listen in?

[It was something that had been nagging at him. Was it really just Alex's general curiosity, or was it something else? He couldn't believe it was any sort of jealousy. They weren't, like this then. Not even a hint of these kinds of feelings, so then why was it so important that she listen?]

Cheesesteaks are good.

[It was easy to agree with him with a quick smile, and she'd been about to tell him that even though nothing actually came close to an actual Cheesesteak in Philly, The Coffee Shop had a steak sandwich that was pretty damn good. She'd even opened her mouth to tell him that before her asked her question.

For a second it just hung open like that because this was not what she expected when she'd started this game. Alex thought that it would be light and soft and easy, and not this at all. But the question had still been asked, so she was going to answer it.

Eventually.

First she sighed softly and wrapped her arms around herself again, settling back into the pillows on the sofa. If she didn't have the painkillers in her making her lips loose, she might have tried to avoid the question. But she still gave him her seriously look, because really?]

There were a lot of reasons. I wasn't sleeping you know that, so my judgment was off. Way off. And I was worried about Amalia, she'd been off ever since she'd gotten back from Russia. Just off enough to notice, as if someone was doing a really, really good Amalia impersonation. But when she kissed me, [It was said without embarrassment or judgment about the kissing. Her and Amalia had been on and off again since college when she was around. It was never a real relationship, just like Amalia and Nic wasn't.] It just... didn't feel like her. So, I was worried about her. And I was worried about you, because you were the one losing it then.

And I think I was a little jealous. Not of you talking to Amalia, but both of you, two of the most important people in my life were sharing a secret that might be dangerous to both of you. and I felt like I wasn't important and the two of you coming together would shut me out completely. Both personally and professionally so I had to know what you were both saying. My brain was stuck on it. I was stuck on it because my judgment was way off.

[Richard had known about Alex's not sleeping, he'd just tried to ignore it as best he could. It was better that way, or so he thought at the time. Now, he wondered how accurate that assessment had been. Letting her and her friends deal with her lack of sleep, not saying anything when he'd heard her sleep notes once he'd finally listened to the show. He probably should have done something, but that was in the past.

While he hadn't known about Alex and Amalia's relationship, it also wasn't something he should have been privy to at the time. And now it didn't matter. He trusted Alex not to be in a romantic relationship with anyone other than him. The rest, well, it was a different sort of surprise to him. The idea that Alex had been jealous, that she had already considered him a friend rather than a subject of the investigation.

Looking back, he supposed he should have seen it, known that Alex thought more of him than what he'd thought at the time, but he was too wrapped up in the correspondence with Coralee. The knowledge that she genuinely was alive; that he'd been right all along (not that it changed anything other than verify his beliefs).

They weren't then though; they were at now, and Alex meant so much more to him now than she had then. So he stood and made his way over to the couch where she was sitting. Crouching down, he reached out to brush stray hairs from her face before leaning in to kiss her forehead.]

You've always been important to me, that won't change.

[Granted, that importance had changed over the years. From a useful person who could help him find his missing wife, to a friend, to a woman who he couldn't help but love and worry over.

Since the moment Alex came into his life, she'd begun to overtake it, and somehow, he didn't mind.]

[It was more freeing than Alex had expected to tell him about what had happened, and it felt like there was a lightness there that wasn't before. When she'd found Richard in his office-turned-bunker at the Institute, she had dragged him back into the world because she considered him her friend and there was the whatever was between them that Strand had said at the time. It had been true ever since he let her back into his office, and showed her the first Black Tape and had only grown and strengthened since then and now Alex was damned sure that Apocalypse or no it wasn't going to be something that broke.

Strand had too many things in his life that had broken, and this between them wasn't going to be one of them. Alex was too damned stubborn to let that happen, either because of things in Riverview or because of whatever trap Thomas Warren was threatening to spring onto them.

Smiling up at him when he kissed her head, she sat up a little more and just hugged him. She hugged him because she needed a hug after that, after admitting that she'd been jealous. Alex knew that she was a jealous person by nature; she couldn't help it. So of course she'd be jealous of Amalia, and of course she was jealous of Coralee. Despite everything else between them, Coralee was always going to be a sore spot or a pressure point that she didn't want to put her fingers on. That was why she bit down on her tongue so she didn't ask the question that she wanted to.

Honestly, there was a part of her that didn't want to know if Strand would have ever told her about Coralee's correspondence if the woman had shown up in the flesh and kidnapped/saved them, depending on the day. ]

I know I am now, but the not sleeping made me just question all of my relationships. I'm lucky that Nic still loves me after how I treated him during season two, and I mean, I destroyed my friendship with Amalia without even meaning to do it. I still don't know if I was the one who sent her the Unsound or not. [She was leaning towards someone else though.] I realize now that I'm lucky that Paul and Terry didn't fire me after the stunt I pulled. So I really wasn't all that rational. I was paranoid as hell, and I honestly am sorry for it, Richard.

[Giving him a quick smile, she shifted her legs so that he could sit on the couch next to her. And of course be a leg rest, being as he was the one who was insisting that she stay still, he could deal with that.]

So, anything else you want to know now that we're clearing the air?

[He moved to sit where she had indicated, turning so he could still face her. After the question, he'd asked, it was understandable that Alex would need contact. It was the sort of person that she was. After all, she was the reason he's started taking her hand and holding it. That wasn't something he'd done before, not even with Coralee. Of course, Coralee hadn't been anything like Alex.

There was something more to this, however, something that he knew she'd kept saying throughout the podcast. How Coralee would come back to him, and maybe she believed that, but Richard knew without a shadow of a doubt that it would never happen. It had been twenty years and, if he were honest, their marriage wasn't the best even without adding in the secrets that she had been keeping from him. Richard had suspected that she was having an affair with Thomas Warren, that wasn't a supposition that a man with a strong faith in his marriage would come to. No, if he thought about it logically, his and Coralee's marriage had already been cracking at the seems.]

She's not, coming back.

[The words were soft and held a bit of wistfulness to them. There was still a part of Richard that wished she would come back, that loved Coralee and would always love her, but that night in the cabin, he'd had to face facts. It was over.]

That time, Coralee and I, it's never going to be what it was. And I don't, want it to be. This,

[He finally actually looked at her, having been looking off toward a corner of the carpet since sitting down and beginning to contemplate his words.]

This is what I want.

[There were things that Alex was never expecting Richard to say. There were the obvious ones of course: admitting he was wrong about anything, especially when involved in the supernatural. That he actually had some sort of psychic ability, or that Alex was a good cook. But this? All of it? Was really high on the list of things she didn't expect. How could she or why would she? Every time Richard had spoken about his wife, or nearly every time anyway, it had been because Alex had pulled the words out of him in one way or another, be it with a question or just him being angry enough at her to bring it up.

After all, for six months, the last memory of him was her speaking about the kids in the painting and the Eastern United States and being very sternly reminded that Coralee remained his wife rather than his ex or his former wife. Given some time thinking about it, Alex had assumed that it was because he was still angry with her for going off to Turkey without telling anyone until she'd landed there on her own dime so that Nic couldn't say anything about it. One thing that Alex hadn't expected to come out of that trip was Richard probably never forgiving her for going alone in the first place.

She had mentioned him getting his wife back, because despite her feelings for him, because she had always assumed that's what he wanted. That that was the reason that he'd spent so long and invested so much money and energy and hell, even the show in finding the woman. In finding Coralee who flittered into his life like a ghost, sending messages and leaving Alex to deal with the pieces of Strand that Coralee left behind. It was hard to love someone that you firmly believed was in love with someone else, and Alex had deflected a lot of it by way of well, making it so that Coralee's return to Richard and them getting back together was the goal.

If at least she could have made him happy that way, he would have been happy and he wouldn't have been alone.

Alex Reagan was firmly of the conviction that Richard Strand should never be left alone; when he was too much in his head it was too lonely, and he needed someone to draw him out of it.

Focusing on him as he sat down on the sofa next to him, Alex folded her legs up to give him space and against the protests of the bruises on her ribs, she leaned forward. Once on her podcast she said that it had been hard seeing Richard torn apart like that, pressed into pieces by Coralee. That was the sort of thing that she was feeling now, especially when there was that wistful tone in his voice. Alex knew that there would be a large piece of his heart that carried Coralee's name on it, that belonged to the woman who had been his wife for thirteen years and who had been there for birthdays and Christmas mornings and long nights when Charlie was sick. Those were the sorts of things that made a family, and on the other hand, what he had Alex had consisted of her barging into his life, breaking things and grabbing all off the shades off the windows and leaving him vulnerable in the sunlight.

But it also had her.

Letting out a deep breath, with a smile that was entirely made of hope, she reached out and took his face in her hands and moved until they were close enough to almost kiss, but she didn't kiss him. Instead, she wanted to see his eyes, watch his expression in the same way that he always seemed to watch hers.]

I'm only going to ask this once, because I believe you but... I would hate it if I never gave you a chance to have an out. But. Are you completely sure? Because I am. There's no one but you, Richard.

[For a moment, he was quiet, his eyes casting downward as he worked through his reasonings. Finished admitting the whole truth to himself. Things like this were more than difficult for him to vocalize. He was a private person, but he also felt that Alex had a right to know. Especially since it involved what they were; what they'd become over the course of their three years of knowing one another.

Richard, of course, hadn't been taking the words he'd said about Coralee and him lightly. In fact, it was something he never thought he'd admit, not even to himself. It was a form of defeat, knowing that he'd failed at his marriage. That his wife would never again return to him of her own volition; that she'd never planned on returning to him in the first place.

He'd thought Coralee had been the love of his life, for twenty years he'd believed in their reunion. He'd done everything he could think of to find her again. He'd lost his family, his fortune, his hope. He'd even gone so far as to believe in the impossible to try and find her. Everything he was had gone into the woman who had just vanished without a trace at a gas station. Even his reputation as a person had been destroyed and dragged through the mud.

Coralee's disappearance had even cost him his only daughter. A daughter who was now grown and finally willing to talk to him now that he was able to tell her what had happened to her mother. And yet, he still loved her, always hoped for reconciliation even when he'd learned that she knew everything for the past twenty years and still stayed away. But once he'd found her, she'd left again.

Perhaps stopping them from talking to Warren that first time, telling him everything, maybe that had been a sort of penance for her. A way of putting right the twenty years of searching, of justifying all the things she'd caused him to lose because of his desire to find and be with her again. But none of that truly mattered, she'd still left. No matter how much he wanted her to stay, no matter how much he wanted to go with her, she still left.

And Alex was there. Through everything, she'd been there to pull him out of his pain and misery, there when Coralee had chosen to leave all over again. Alex had driven with him all night, drank with him. Alex had even hesitated to ask questions. Questions they both knew that she'd wanted to ask since he and Coralee had exited the room, so many hours before. And Alex had given him so many choices, so many moments where he had made the decision. Even if she were persistent and pestered about what she'd wanted, she'd still given him a choice. She'd offered to give up her entire life to be with him, to try and keep him safe and keep him from a madman's attempt to end the world, and she'd still given him a final choice in that. She'd put her entire life in his hands; it was his decision.

At this point, there was no question in his mind what he wanted. He loved Coralee; he always would, but that life was in the past. Coralee had chosen to put it in the past. A choice that she hadn't involved him in. But he also loved Alex, a woman who he knew would stay by his side through anything. Through fights and disappearances, through assumed apocalyptic crises. A woman who would stand toe to toe with the most dangerous man either of them had ever met and threaten him, for Richard.

No, there really was no other choice in his mind. So his eyes moved back to hers and he answered with one simple word.]

Yes.

[It was so odd that Alex was a woman of so many words that one word could just stop her and sort of just take her out of everything like that. Richard could be monosyllabic sometimes when he was tired or angry (she and Nic once played a drinking game when they were editing an episode and taking a shot for every time Richard simply said the word 'yes' in an interview. The two of them had gotten so drunk they couldn't finish the episode and Alex had a massive headache the next day.) but the tone of his voice spoke so much more than the word did almost every time he said it.

That single word could be an angry 'fuck off' or a sad 'leave me alone' or an annoyed 'shut up Alex.' It could be approving when she tried to be more rational and explain things on the tapes that he'd shown her in the way that he did, and he could be annoying as hell and enigmatic as always, keeping everything close to his chest and using the word as a sort of non-answer to something that she'd asked and he really didn't want to entertain the idea of.

But this yes, this was something different. This yes was the sort of thing that had a promise in it, something that was important and almost sacred. Alex could feel the heavy way that it was a vow, and she couldn't help but wondering if Richard had thought about it before she'd asked him. She wanted to ask him now, but now wasn't the time. No, now was the time for just beaming at him and drawing her thumb over his cheek for a moment before she leaned forward and kissed him very gently.

The gentleness in that kiss was something that was more for him than it was for her, because she knew how he needlessly worried about hurting her since she'd been injured (their rather large fight about him not sleeping in bed with her came to mind) and she didn't want him to think that this was causing her pain when right now, all she felt was happiness. Hell, Alex was the sort of person who poked both her physical and emotional bruises before saying ow, so the smallest brush of her lips against hers wasn't anything.

Pulling back before she kissed him more deeply or ardently (because she expected a protest from him if she did it, and Alex didn't want to ruin this moment with anything approaching a fight. The two of them did it too often, and hell, at least she wasn't bored and complaining right now, right? That was definitely a plus. Her thumb stroked over his cheek again before she spoke:]

I love you, Richard Strand. To hell and back.

[It was her way of saying that she wasn't leaving, and she never would. No matter what ever happened to her, either here or at home, if Thomas Warren did his worst and took her she would never stop fighting to get back to his side. After all, the two of them were at the center of this together.]

[The pure bliss coming from Alex was, if he were honest, a bit confusing.

The idea of him being in any relationship would always have demanded deep thought and, as some called it, 'soul searching.' To himself at least, Richard was still married. Coralee had never been dead; he'd never believed that she was for an instant, so he'd never been a widower. Not once in the twenty years had he thought of anyone else as a romantic partner or allowed himself even to entertain the idea of having anyone other than her.

Then came Alex with her, Alexness and her charm. Richard could imagine anyone would become easily smitten with her. She was enigmatic and vibrant, and of course, he expected nothing to come of their meeting. She was also more charming than he'd expected, not that a man who loved his missing wife should or would notice that. And as they became deeper entwined in this mystery that he'd finally allowed himself to share with someone, Alex had become more and more important to him. More of a lifeline that he couldn't be without, no matter how many times he tried to run or take back all of what he'd given. It had become no longer his own. He was no longer alone in all of it. There, beside him without fail, was Alex.

But there was still Coralee, and the mystery of Coralee turned into the fact of her being alive and the reality of her abandoning him again. And yet, Alex was beside him, picking him up and forcing him to continue. Richard had thought about her, about every part of Alex as time moved forward. Of course he had, it wasn't as if Richard were blind to beauty or charm, he'd just been loyal, he hadn't wanted anyone but Coralee. Now Coralee was gone. There was no more hoping or wishing or trying to rely on psychic powers that weren't there. There were just abandonment and the enigmatic, beautiful woman who seemed to go against reason and remain by his side no matter how deep the rabbit hole of strange, disturbing and dangerous his life became. The longer and more time they spent together the harder it became to continue to deny his attraction to her. Her mind and wit were a perfect kind of sharp; her laugh had become something he looked forward to; even their arguments were a bright part of his formerly dimmed world.

But there was still Coralee and his convictions. Still the knowledge that she was out there, that he was still married, no matter how far apart they were or how unlikely it was that she would come back and be with him again. So of course, he continued to deny his feelings, push them aside and instead focuses on the insane and every creeping into the supernatural world that seemed to keep pushing toward him. His feelings, leaking out when he told Alex that they were in this together, in his glances and his softened words. Those leaks were what forced him to remind them both that he was married, that Coralee still existed, that she was still his wife.

It wasn't until Alex had asked him to run away with her that the dam broke; when he was no longer able to deny his feelings anymore. Where Coralee had taken everything, Alex had given it freely. She'd given her life and everything in it for them to run away together, and it took his breath away. So, of course, he'd thought about it, about leaving everything behind and just being with Alex. The answer, undeniably had been yes. Yes, he would be with her, give her as much of his heart as he could (even if Coralee would still hold a significant place in it), even break the vows that he'd stayed so faithful to for twenty years. Simply for the sake of staying by her side.

In that moment he'd known there was no other answer. There was only the promise of being with Alex for however long they had before Warren inevitably tried to kill them.

When Alex kissed him, he leaned in, just enough to let her know that he wanted the same thing. He wanted to kiss her just as much and as fervently as she wanted to kiss him. But someone had to be responsible while she was in this state, and he was much older and knowledgeable. He had more control than she did.

Her words, 'I love you, Richard Strand,' caused his heart to catch in his throat, a quick breath catch before he let it out once again. It was still surprising when she said that, and he felt that it probably always would be. Then she added 'to hell and back' as if a challenge, and his placid happiness turned into a small smirk. She knew well what he would say to that, and it wasn't 'I love you.']

Hell, doesn't exist, Ms. Reagan.

Edited (You'll take my word vomit and like it) 2018-06-29 05:29 (UTC)

[Alex had known how Richard would have responded to those words of course, because there was no way he couldn't not. Even with how he had loosened some of his doubts with what was going on here and with her kidnapping (she had read his asking for magic sources, even if Alex hadn't commented on it for good reason. At least not yet. She was reserving the right for when he said something about the magic here next time.) she knew that his disbelief in such a place as hell was going to be steadfast and would always cause that same reaction of the smirk that matched the one she gave him in return after the words.

Of course, she hadn't missed the softness of his smile at her telling him that she loved him, and she hadn't missed how much younger and happier it had made him look, as if it had chased some of the specters (yes, there's no such thing as specters Alex) of the life that had haunted him since he was a child and since Howard Strand had become "interested" in him and had begun to attempt to 'prepare' him for the rest of his life with nights in caves and arcane presents and abuse in the form of attempting to strong arm him into a reason that may or may not have been actually helpful in his life. But those weren't the only memories that they'd chased off; it was also Coralee and every heartbreak that she'd brought with her since she'd forced herself into his life.

Alex wasn't an idiot. Even though Strand had denied that he was married (one of the few times he'd actually out and out lied to her rather than be evasive and the like) she had known. She'd known through the research and vetting that Nic and the studio had done before she'd reached out to him with those eleven calls, but she hadn't said anything in front of the Torres family because it wasn't her place. She didn't know him well enough to have it be her place at that point. But Alex knew that Strand considered himself a married man even though he had flirted with her (even if it was subconsciously) when the two of them had met.

While it hadn't been a lie, what she'd told him in his office here about how she'd had a flash of a fantasy of having sex with him in his office in Chicago when he mentioned people actually listening to the radio , it wasn't something that Alex would have ever acted on. At least not then. Richard had the oaths that he'd made to his marriage and to the wife that wasn't dead, and Alex had journalism ethics, and knowing that she shouldn't let herself become too close to him, and to close to the story. Being in a relationship with him other than being his friend (and being his friend was probably stretching it a bit, honestly) was something that would destroy any credibility that she had.

More times than had been recorded on the show, Nic had lectured, warned and attempted to coerce her into creating more boundaries between herself and Strand; it had never worked, and Alex had argued more than once that their friendship tended to make the podcast stronger and more accessible. Even if they hadn't agreed, Alex wouldn't have withdrawn her friendship from him; he had all too rapidly become an important part of her life.

Yes, Alex was someone who tended to make friends wherever she went, but she was also someone who lived and breathed and ate her work, so friends who weren't involved with it tended to fall along the wayside back home. Oh, her email and answering machine was always full of invitations to things, but Alex was far better at giving people her regrets than her time. It was something that had become all that much more true when Strand moved into his father's house, and when he'd come back from his latest disappearing act, Alex's withdrawal had been rather complete.

After all, it was hard to find time for friends when you were working in your office either alone or with someone else until Nic kicked her out, and then Alex would pack up and more often than not, she'd show up at Richard's hard to debrief him on things that had happened if he hadn't been around and talk about things more in depth if he had. In the end, she would end up taking up the corner of the couch (this corner of the couch, actually) with her papers around her, and a glass of wine, giving him a bright smile and steadfastly ignoring all of the feelings that she'd had for hers.

The past three years had been a succession of Alex forcing herself not to say something, to try not to flirt and to definitely not kiss him. The night that they'd spent in his house the first time, Alex had reached over and held his hand so he wasn't alone that night, and that was practically as far as they'd gotten until she'd had six months to consider how short life was, how much she loved him and how in the end, her journalism ethics weren't going to be the thing that kept her happy.

Even though Alex couldn't pinpoint when she'd started having actual feelings for him, she had forced herself not to try and force herself so far into is life. That was why she hadn't assumed that he would want her to go with Geneva and he'd needed to ask her, and that was why when she told him about her feelings, she'd been prepared (even if it would hurt places and so deeply that she didn't want to think about it now) for him to remind her that he was married and that he loves his wife very much and the two of them were just friends. But now there was no concern about Coralee between them, and instead she just drew her finger along his chin again before she spoke.]

I thought hell was other people, Dr. Strand. Are you saying they don't exist now? [The teasing was in her voice and in her eyes, she couldn't help it; it was second nature.]

[There was something amazing about that smile. Something that could bring Richard back from the brink of disaster, or break his heart if it so wanted to. Thankfully, he couldn't think of any reason why Alex would ever want to do the later. Generally, it was the circumstances that she managed to fall into that caused him any emotional distress. She was, trouble, as was the colloquial term. A person who sought out the danger and general troubles of the world. It was part of what made him crazy, but also part of what made the two of them fit so well.

Her belief, the ever-growing insanity that seemed to creep into her mind in the thought that this nonsense was real. That Thomas Warren was a wealthy, enigmatic leader of a cult that was creating demons. That demons were actually real, and that Richard was some sort of key to kicking off a demon apocalypse was concerning, but at least right now it wasn't manifesting.

Instead, it was something stupid and playful, something that was meant to tease his logical belief that none of this was real.]

No, that would be events you force me to go to.

[Reaching out, he ran his fingers over her arm, lightly caressing the skin under the fabric of her shirt.]

[Oh, Alex was definitely trouble for him, with a capital T. She had been since the moment that she'd first found those black vhs cases in his office and he'd kicked her out for doing that. It was the first time she'd barged into his life, and there would never be a last. Not now, there just couldn't be. The two of them were too much of a them for any parting to be a last.

And for now, she just grinned at him again, her eyes bright and happy. Alex's face was just as expressive as her voice, and there was no denying it, even if she was still all wrapped up from being kidnapped and the love of her life was currently making sure that she didn't do anything to bother said ribs.

She moved into his touch like a cat before she just laughed softly.]

Now who's being melodramatic. I thought you wanted a non-melodramatic clause in our relationship, my love.

[And then she added with a low laugh.]

It wasn't that bad.

[Of course he knew what she was going to say about that. At least as far as it not to have been so bad. Of course, Alex was an extrovert, and she knew everyone there. Richard, on the other hand, disliked other people and preferred to stay at home unless he was working on a case.

It wasn't that he couldn't interact. He was rather good at it when he wanted to be. He could pretend to be interested and cordial and extroverted when he wanted to. It was more he preferred not to interact. Preferred time alone without the bother of pleasantries and pretended interest. It was less taxing that way and, in most cases, he could get more done.]

You dragged me to a picnic where I was 'vetted' by a man who hardly knew me. Yes, it was that bad.

[He hadn't told Alex about that, and she just looked rather amused for a moment. It didn't take a genius to figure out who it was and who he'd spoken too. Despite thoroughly enjoying herself at the picnic (even if in the middle of it she and Richard had a mini-fight... or a heated discussion anyway) she'd kept an eye on him and who he'd spoken too. Mostly she'd done it in case it was too much for Richard and he was about to go into full on asshole mode.

So it was Remy, who was a friend. A friend who was worried about her, which just made her smile all the more, and she just bumped his arm.]

Come on, you'd do it for Charlie or Ruby. Vetting their potential partners is a part of friendship. Hell, I do it all the time, if you didn't notice.

During those particular formative years, Charlie had already cut me out of her life.

[He wouldn't confirm or deny if he would do that for Ruby. Judge them? Probably, then again, Richard judged everyone, regardless of who they were attempting to date. It was just the way he was.]

[There were times when Alex had forgotten that the repair of his relationship with Charlie was a new thing, and this was one of them honestly. For a minute she just frowned, and then she gave his hand a squeeze, her thumb rubbing across the top of his for a moment.]

You act like you couldn't do it now, Richard. I assure you, you definitely can. When I finally do, as my mother says, "bring home the nice young man from your podcast" my Dad is definitely going to try and do the thing.

[A beat and a grin.]

Not that what he thinks matters. You're stuck with me.

[There was a pause as he debated what he was about to say. Alex wasn't fond of comments that included Coralee, but the other woman had been part of his life for over twenty years.

Instead of mentioning it, he let it slide past and commented about the idea of vetting one of Charlie's significant others instead.]

I trust Charlie's judgment.

Well, no one should probably trust my judgment. Not even me.

[She's imagining that it's something like that, that it involves something he'd say about Coralee, so she doesn't push him. Instead, she was going to just make a bit of a joke about it. Well, mostly a bit of a joke about it.]

Well, save when it comes to dating you, I guess.

Closed to Strand.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject