riverviewlogs | ( open ) but everything looks better when the sun goes down

Entry tags:

( open ) but everything looks better when the sun goes down

who: dick grayson + others
what: fireflies + may catchall
when: all of may!
where: all over
warnings: possible violence

Yellow

[ In Dick, fear blends and shifts, keeps him moving rather than freezing him up, looking a lot more like newly single-minded dedication than anything else. Fear turns him outward, draws him inexorably into the role of unasked-for shadow, and whether you're a friend or a stranger you're likely to find him there, sudden and unannounced, if you happen to step out late at night. If you're venturing out past the fence alone. ]

Hey. [ Look again and he's beside you, decked out in a mask (or a police uniform, take your pick). ] Not sure if you know the area, but it's not safe out here right now.

Red (anger)

[ On red Dick simmers. At the Police Station he's picking up extra shifts, passing the break room to down coffee after coffee in the rare moments that he's not out on patrol. With coworkers and friends he's snappish and short, burying himself for hours at a time in the archives with old case files. He's never at home.

As Nightwing he's somehow easier to find - or run across by chance - but if you happen to be looking the road there is paved with unsettled lowlives. No one is maimed or even seriously injured, but he's scared them, clearly with an intent running deeper than Nightwing's typically brisk, playful style of violence. Find him mid-battle just by the fence, taking on at least 12 too many vicious, snapping monsters. Find him mid-interrogation on the roof, holding someone against the drop-off more securely than the man in question likely perceives. ]

Blue

[ Or find him just after that.

Blue never lingers on Dick for long, but he's easy prey when his strength is limited, worn down by effort expended on walking himself down from anger and fear. He can't outpace the feeling when he's already steeped in shame. When a thousand what ifs crowd out everything else. Find him sagging in that dark alley, head in his hands; or huddled out by the fence, surrounded by wounded monsters. Give him a few minutes, he'll be alright. ]

[ ooc: pm or hit me up at

with_pins if you'd like to play out a more specific scenario! I'd prefer to avoid lust prompts for Dick at this time, but Violet, Green, and Orange are all on the table with some discussion. ]

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[ Oh dear god. He looks actually stricken for a moment. ]

No. No no of course not. That's not what I-

Trust me, you're- [ luckily he catches himself before he says something truly awful like "i want to see you again" when he's barely started seeing her this time. He flushes unmistakably red. ]

-I mean, you're great.

[ It'd be cool actually if a hole would just open up beneath his chair now and swallow him. ]

[Why isn't this simple? She feels tongue-tied around him and he looks put off by the fact that she's questioned him so directly. But now he's the one stammering and Wanda's panicking internally that there really is something wrong.

It does occur to her, unfortunately too late, that what he'd meant to imply was that perhaps she wouldn't want to see him again after their date.

She shifts on her seat, squeezing his hand tightly as if it might keep him from getting away.]

You didn't honestly think that I might not want to see you after today, did you? Because you shouldn't. Think that, I mean.

[She's surprised he's still talking to her after that ridiculous exit she made at the rave.]

I- well, no. I- [ Wow how has he messed this up so badly so fast, this is a record even for him. His eyes drop to their joined hands, as if some part of him almost can't believe she's still holding on.

But his grip tightens right back. ]

I've just- honestly it was a weird night for me, and I've been thinking about what happened ever since. I don't really make a habit of...

[ Is he talking about the grapple gun or the kissing or abruptly bailing on her in the middle of the kissing will the world ever know. Probably not. ]

...I wouldn't blame you if you just wanted a chance to ask what the hell I was thinking.

[If it wasn't for the way his hand grips hers tighter she might wonder if he really is trying to let her down gently. The compliment that she's great, but the admission that whatever happened that night wasn't what he'd normally do. Is she so out of touch with a normal life now that she can't grasp that the way things went with them that night were so abnormal?

Understandably, it frustrates her now to know that it's not ethical to simply use her abilities to get into his mind just to find out what in the hell is going on in his head now.]

It wasn't a typical night for me either but [she pauses, gathering her words] the things that made it unique are part of why I wanted to see you again. I want to know what you're thinking but because I want to get to know you better. I'm not solely looking for answers and explanations.

[In a way, she's glad they're not in the restaurant yet. Better that they have this conversation away from the ears of others. Just him, and just her.]

Was the night weird to you in a bad way at all?

[ It's occurring to him, as he's recalling the embarrassment, the shame of the days after, that a big part of that had been the reality of having to face down how little the powder had actually changed him. How intoxicated he'd been by the moment, and how badly some part of him had wanted to tell. How badly he'd wanted to tell her. This dazzling, startling woman.

That he'd told himself it was anything but that, that he'd made her think for a second that it was anything but that- ]

...No.

Trust me, that's... pretty much the opposite of what I was trying to say. [ His fingers squeeze hers again, almost reflexive. He takes a breath. ]

I want to know you, Wanda.

[ That it's not safe, that it's not simple only makes him want it more. He looks for her gaze. ]

I want to know... more than just answers.

[She doesn't talk about herself easily, not usually. There were so many people who had shown interest in her and it had only made her withdrawn into herself, building walls between them to keep herself safe.

It hasn't fully hit her yet that she gets such a good sense from him, that she isn't reflexively responding to him that way, otherwise the whole situation might seem alarming to her.

She exhales, relieved to know that he's not put off by her powers or the kisses they'd shared. Lips tugged up at the corners she returns his gaze steadily, even as her cheeks pink a little.]

Then if it will make it easier, I could begin and tell you a little about myself.

[An offer which, if he did actually know her, might seem all the more significant.]

I can trust you not to share what I tell you with others, can't I?

[ A lifetime of secrets, lies, and misdirection has given him a sense of where this might be going. A lifetime of broken connections. A wall between himself and the world that he's still only breached, willingly, a handful of times.

He nods, slowly. His eyes don't waver from hers. ]

Of course you can.

[The details will come in time, she knows, he'll have questions when she tells him about herself, so many of them. But for now, Wanda decides to settle on the broad strokes.]

As I mentioned to you before I'm from a country called Sokovia. It's based in Eastern Europe--though not everyone here has heard of it. I'm not sure it exists in all of the versions of Earth. For decades it's been the staging grounds for so many wars. A central location on the way to the front lines of some country or another. [She wets her lips.] I lived with my parents and my twin brother Pietro in an apartment building. We were still young when the building was shelled and we lost our parents. And for two days we were trapped in the remains of that apartment until we were rescued.

[She gives the information as a matter of fact. She doesn't talk about the Stark missile that she and Pietro stared at for two days, worried they would be killed. Doesn't talk about the fear, or the grief.]

From then on it was the two of us. We grew up with little to rely on but each other, and when we were old enough we participated in protests, even riots against the war in our city.

[It's then that she pauses, looking to him to see if he wants to ask questions or interject before she continues on.]

[ It's not quite the confession he was expecting. This is something different. Something deeper than that, and Dick feels frozen inside it for a moment. In the fear and pain she must have felt. Something like, he imagines, the fear and pain that had had him on the streets hunting a murderer at the age of nine.

Only he'd had Bruce. A guardian who'd understood the way only another broken orphan could. He'd been given a place to channel his anger. Every opportunity to challenge the ugly parts of the world.

Softly, without judgement: ]

You had to fight back.

[Perhaps it's the fact that he too knows what it's like to have lost his parents that makes it easier to talk to him about this. To go a little deeper than before and put herself out there.

Her smile is faint but immediate at his response. Tight.]

The government wouldn't. Someone had to.

[And perhaps what comes next is what will be of most interest to him.]

It wasn't enough of course. What good could protesters do against guns and air raids? We had so much rage, my brother and I, but only so many ways to put it to good use. So when a doctor approached us at a rally...when he told us he could give us the power to save our city my brother took him up on it. And I wasn't going to let him go without me so we both signed up.

[She wets her lips with the tip of her tongue, shrugs her shoulders.]

They kept us in an old, abandoned castle in Novi Grad and experimented on others who had volunteered. No one survived. We were in the last group and...somehow among all of the people we were the ones who gained powers. My brother with his super speed and me with my...well. [She lifts a hand, letting the red light come to her fingertips. It plays over her skin as she looks to Dick.]

[ His eyes follow the red light, and he's a little mesmerized as he watches it light up her skin. It strikes him that there's nothing insecure about what she's telling him. Nothing ashamed, nothing hiding. She may keep it a secret, she may hold the reason close, but it isn't a part of her that she hasn't reconciled.

He could play at astonishment. He could play at confusion. It's what Batman would ask him to do, he knows that. He looks away for a moment, trying the summon the will for the lie.

Only he can't. He knows he can't, when all can think of when his eyes leave hers is her face when she'd spoken about her brother. She's trusting him. Him.

He takes a breath. He can't make her explain the way these kind of monsters work, when he's seen them in his own world again and again. ]

Wasn't all they wanted, was it?

[ The thought makes his stomach clench. ]

[She snorts softly in response, shaking her head.]

Of course not. Once we were there we were theirs. Locked up. No rights. Especially once we were the only successes in the entire experiment.

As for what they wanted...what do all men in power seem to want but more of it? We were lucky, however. We were able to escape before they could use us to that end...

[Through all of this, Wanda's been able to keep control of her emotions fairly well. It's hard information to share but at the same time she feels...distanced enough for it at the moment that she's managing alright. It's because it's sensitive however that she doesn't realize until now that the discomfort and lack of ease she's feeling isn't from him. She breathes in slowly and exhales.]

But that is all a lot for now. I'm sorry. There has always been good to my life as well but the details rarely make it in when trying to give a broader overview. [She wets her lips with the tip of her tongue.] We escaped, and things were better and we each were able to put our powers to use the way we wanted. Protecting the people of our country, and even the world.

[There, a lighter note. A better one. She doesn't talk about Ultron and she doesn't talk about Pietro's death. She doesn't talk about Lagos or the Sokovia Accords. Better to imply that everything is okay now than dump so much more of this on him on this date.

God, this is a date. She'd been trying to reassure him and instead she'd done the opposite. Her lips purse together.]

We can talk about something else.

[ He notes that she's shutting down on him a little abruptly, and he wonders if that means he's upset her somehow. If the topic itself is upsetting.

Damn it. Of course it's upsetting. And it's on him. Dredging up things she's rather not talk about for the sake of his curiosity. She's entitled to her secrets. Entitled to privacy. ]

It's okay, Wanda. It's- seriously, you don't have anything to apologize for. [ He's the one who should be sorry, and it gives him a sharp little pang that he can't even explain to her why. ]

...I can't imagine what it was like to go through that. [ To not only lose her parents, but to then be experimented on and imprisoned. The unfairness of that turn strikes him as particularly cruel. He hesitates. ]

But I do know something about how hard it is to... to open up about things like that. Even when you want to. [ His eyes drop to the table again. ]

I think it's brave as hell that you were willing to share it anyway.

[She offers him a smile and shrugs.]

It's easier each time I do it. I'm just sorry that...you said you wanted to know me and so I shared but it's not a particularly light story. Not for a date...

[And that's the truth of it. She feels self-conscious because she just trotted out all of her horrors forgetting that most people didn't have stories like hers. Most people wouldn't know how to respond to them. He's being very sweet about it all which she appreciates immensely but in some ways she feels a little bit worse that she's making him feel as if he has to support her emotionally.

She gives him a stronger smile instead. Forced, but there.]

Perhaps I should have told you stories about my mother when she would cook us dinner, or the time Pietro took us out to the countryside for a day...[She pauses a beat, then tilts her chin toward him.] Or you could take your turn. Tell me more about yourself?

[ He can spot a deflection when he sees it. But it's her right.

The odd thing is, he believes her when she asks. He believes she wants to know. It's not a question he's used to answering very often without an easy deflection ready, and for a moment he's lost for the words. Oddly, stupidly, he wants to tell her about the way Bruce had tooled him around in his race cars, when he'd been small. The look on Tim's face when he's solving a riddle. Zitka the elephant. ]

...A lot of the circus bedded down in Florida, in the off months. But my dad was always big on Europe. He grew up in a caravan there.

...Anyway, wherever they were, somehow we'd chase them down. Sometimes it was France. Belgium. Qurac. [ He'd been loved. Doted on by nearly everyone, inside of the circus and out. He's spent a lifetime fighting for the truth in those memories. He can't quite help a little smile. ]

I never really figured out who I was actually related to and how, but they were all family. We'd sing and dance every night.

[That sounds lovely. For a girl who has always wanted to see more of the world, to travel with family from city to city, to have the welcome of so many in such a place, to sing and to dance with joy with all of them? It sounds a little like heaven. Wanda smiles to hear about it, tension slipping away from her quickly.]

That sounds wonderful though. To have so many of them in your life, and for blood relations not to matter so that they're just...all family.

[So much family...She wonders if she would have had that much if there hadn't been so much war in Sokovia.]

So, you sing? If I ask you to sometime would you sing for me?

Not... well, not really since I was a kid... [ Not since the circus. But his startled look clears, leaving an unguarded softness in its place. ]

But I would, yeah. If you asked me. [ And abruptly his eyes lose the faraway look. Wanda is the present. He zeroes in on her, a teasing edge to his smile. ]

I bet you can sing.

[She grins and shrugs, pleased beyond belief to see him looking at her that way. To have his attention on her. It feels a little like stepping out of the house into the sun.]

I'm capable, but I'm not certain I'd say that I'm talented. I'm sure I sound as good in the shower as anyone else might.

[She thinks she's on-key, but really how would she know if she wasn't?]

Well, last I checked talent wasn't a prerequisite for much. [ The look in her eyes is charming him, and he makes a note to ask her if the occasion ever arises. ]

So what do you do when you're not saving the world from certain doom?

[ Though it's occurring to him already that they've lasted longer than twenty minutes now which officially beats the standing post-Kory record. It's been too long since he's had much of a life outside of the work himself. He wills his phone to be silent. ]

[Wanda leans back in her seat at his question and gives him a little shrug.]

I hardly know, honestly. I've only been living in New York for a couple years. My teammates will take me sight-seeing on occasion. [Clint's taken her to the farm a few times even.] It's a little different here, at least. I have a job and the occasional emergency that I'll lend my powers to...And I recently found myself hosting a colony of religious, talking mice. does that count as something I do?

[If she wanted something light to talk about, well, this is surely it.]

...Wow. Seriously? [ Whatever he'd imagined her coming up with, it wasn't that. ]

Do I get to ask what a colony of religious talking mice has to say?

[She gives him a little smile and calm as can be responds:]

Hail!

[Seriously. With a shrug she leans back, still smiling.]

They saw me using magic and so they think I'm a goddess and that my roommate Sam is a priest, also worthy of worship. They eat my cookies and make holidays and rituals out of most everything. It's an interesting experience so far, though it's hard to say how I'll feel about it all in the long run.

Sounds like they came to the right goddess.

[ It says something that she hadn't even thought twice before taking on the responsibility. ]

So what exactly was the story there? They just happen through the portal one day and spot you?

They came through the portal and found their way into my backyard where I was practicing. And just like that...

[With a little gesture to indicate the rest is history, Wanda lifts her glass to take a sip of water.]

I tried to convince them otherwise but they're single-minded about the whole thing. It's a done deal as far as they're concerned. Apparently it's quite common where they're from to find someone or something and worship it as divine. It was just chance that it happened to be me.

[After a moment, her smile grows wider.]

Perhaps you ought to meet them. I'd pay money to learn what they'd decide to call you.

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( open ) but everything looks better when the sun goes down

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