( knees curled up to his chest on the (now) massive hospital bed and billy kaplan hasn't done jack shit in the last several days, eyes focused out of window of his room. he did refocus in on this dimensional plane long enough to pull out his phone and remember he--forgot something rather important.
it's easy to send off his room number to tommy, tell him he's still (physically) in one piece, he hopes tommy's fine, too. billy's barely slept more than catnaps for the last several days, he can't imagine tommy's doing much better.
they both have massive fucking issues over the whole being depowered and collared thing, nobody likes that shit. )
[Tommy's issues with being depowered go beyond the obvious, that it's invasive as fuck and makes him feel helpless and useless and worthless - it's also a sharp reminder of being locked away and subjected to experiments designed to turn him into a living weapon. Sure, it's been a few years since Billy and the other Young Avengers broke him out, but has Tommy actually dealt with that chapter of his life? No. No, he has not.
So maybe he lost his shit a little when he was captured (again) and depowered (again). Maybe he took off running the second he got his powers back and hasn't stopped since, barely slowed down enough to pay attention to his phone. Maybe he didn't check in with Billy because he figured Billy could take care of himself, powerful reality-warping mage that he is, and because he still isn't used to anyone giving a shit about him. He's been functionally alone for most of his life, after all.
But Tommy can read between the lines of what Billy's text message says to what it doesn't say. He doesn't waste time texting back, just zooms his way into Billy's room with a gust of wind trailing behind him - cleaned up, patched himself up and let his natural mutant physiology do the rest as far as healing, still a little bruised up but outwardly no worse for the wear.]
( unfortunately, billy's talents didn't come with accelerated healing. half his face is still covered in bruises, his ribs are still a little sore, the split lip has mostly healed by now, and the bags under his eyes are definitely. noticeable. but tommy actually came which says a lot right there, doesn't it? and god, he's glad to see tommy's doing okay. is still in one piece, at least.
he doesn't know what he would do if tommy fell apart. )
Happens, I guess.
( his tone's lackluster, dry, but billy turns eyes over to tommy regardless. raises a hand to coax him in a little closer. )
[Ha. Except he's not really kidding. Tommy shrugs, then zips over to pull up a chair to the side of the bed, folding himself into it haphazardly - not relaxed, ready to spring back to his feet at a second's notice, if necessary. Erratically, he taps the tip of his finger along the chair's arm, giving Billy a closer visual inspection.]
( not for any of those reasons, at least. everyone got a bit banged up. that's--part of being kidnapped by a crazy cult. teeth dig into his lower lip on the side that's not covered in bandages, considering just how much he wants to let onto, here. how much to get into any of it. )
I can't go back to the Sanctum though, so. . ready to move into our new place?
[Tommy squints in concentration, mouth pursed; Billy saying he can't go back to the Sanctum means something else happened. Something bad. Before, moving was just about getting space and finding safety - it was elective, not a measure of can't.]
Yeah ... right after I punch whichever one of 'em's being the asshole. Is it Loki? I bet it's Loki.
[Loki seems more likely to be an asshole than Teddy, but hell, Tommy'll punch both of them, if necessary. He's got lingering badfeels about being kidnapped and violence is a great solution.]
Thanks for the offer, but. ( he's shaking his head, pulling off bedcovers and getting to his feet to slide sneakers back on. he's slow about it, cautious. every movement carefully planned, carefully executed. )
It's me, I'm the asshole. And I'd really like it if you wouldn't punch me right now, I'm bruised enough.
( his face is a mess, his everything is a mess. at the very least, he hasn't broken down into disappearing off into his head yet. they're still a few steps away from that. )
( shoes slip on easy enough; he can handle walking, so when tommy signals him to stop, billy ignores it. gets up to his feet, takes a deep breath. )
I was selfish, self-centered, and didn't think of anyone's feelings but my own. Which, you know, really doesn't work well in relationships. I don't recommend it. But it's over now.
( and he can't just wish himself out of existence, sadly. )
[Tommy has a thought or two about how that's not so different from normal for Billy (Apology not accepted, he'd said, when Billy broke up the Young Avengers), but he's not angry with Billy at the moment, so he keeps those thoughts to himself - for now.]
( an uneasy nod of his head as he starts heading towards the door, raising a hand to clasp tommy by his shoulder. )
Loki said I don't give a shit about him, Teddy told me to forget he's even here. So.
( they're done. billy can't blame them for any of it. loki wasn't wrong. isn't. and teddy didn't deserve any of the bullshit he put him through. it'd be best if he could just--disappear, but that wasn't working out for him well at all. )
[Tommy’s fine with being support, stands still under Billy’s grasp so he can steady himself, but the explanation brings a deep frown to crease his face.]
If Loki actually meant that, then he doesn’t know you. All you do is care - it’s your whole Billy thing. And Teddy ...
[Tommy shakes his head. He always had a shred of doubt about Teddy and Billy working out, but they seemed good together. Solid. Sickeningly so, sometimes, but they were deeply into each other, from what Tommy could see. Tommy steps in front of Billy to stop him, draw his attention.]
Look, I don’t know what to tell you here - I don’t do relationships or feelings, and this is exactly why. It’s a mess. So maybe you’re better off without ‘em, who knows, but I do know that they’re not better off without you. You’re not a bad guy, Billy. Believe me, I’d know - I have some experience in that, remember?
[A slight smile turns up the corner of his mouth. It’s half of a joke - there’s never been any question about which of them is the good twin and which one is the team sociopath.]
So maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you made a bunch of ‘em - I don’t know, I wasn’t here, I don’t know what you said or did or didn’t say or do. But that’s the thing about life - as long as you’re here, you always have the chance to fix what’s wrong and make up for your mistakes. I know a little something about that, too.
( the fact that tommy is sitting here giving him life advice and actually making sense with it is--heavily surprising and extremely appreciated. it brings the first smile to his lips that he's had in--forever and a half, it feels like. )
Maybe I'll try it your way for a little while. No feelings, no relationships.
( it's meant to be a joke but fuck of billy doesn't mean it. tommy has--his issues, too, yes, but being a little more tommy-like to avoid further heartbreak sounds absolutely amazing. not that there's much left of his heart to shatter. he already feels like it's broken into thousands of tiny bits, broken glass pieces scattered all over the ground.
but billy's raising both arms and wrapping them around tommy, hugging him tight despite the protest he gets from bruised ribs. )
You're an absolutely amazing brother, Tommy. I'm--sorry I wasn't there for you, after we got out of there.
[It's kind of weird for Tommy, too, that he's giving out advice and Billy's actually listening to him. Tommy isn't really a leader, he knows that - everyone else is too slow for him and he's not that big into planning, preferring to leap into action without really looking ahead. Sure, he can take initiative and work independently, but his ideas usually got shot down when he worked on a team. It's a nice change, having his opinions valued.
Billy's whole thing for hugging him is a change, too, but secretly, Tommy doesn't actually mind it. Maybe this is what happens when you grow up with parents who give a shit about you - you don't always feel the need to bolt when feelings are involved. Tommy sighs out a long breath and wraps his arms gently but firmly around Billy in return.]
Glad to hear I'm not doing too terrible of a job at being a brother. I didn't have any practice at it before you.
[There's still room for improvement, though. Tommy turns his head into Billy's shoulder, words muffling against his shirt.]
Sorry I took off. I figured - you had people. [Loki and Teddy. Others, maybe.] You didn't really need me.
You're still kind of a sociopath. ( murmured soft as tommy presses into a shoulder, giving him all the space he needs to feel comfortable. getting hugs out of a speedster is hard enough as it is, there's no need to push it. and tommy being this honest and open about his feeling is--more surprising than anything else. he's apologizing for something he shouldn't really feel the need to, and billy's--turning his head, presses in close to white strands of hair.
he'll always have tommy, at least. no matter what else goes on. ) Don't worry about it. Really. I should've been there for you, taken off after you after--all of that.
( when this place just managed to hit all of tommy's trauma keys at once. billy was the one should have been present. )
And you're a great brother. Way better than those two hellions back home.
[Tommy laughs quietly.] Well, one of us has to be, right? Statistically speaking. [A sociopath. The bad twin.] We can't both be the good twin, so it may as well be me.
[He's only half serious; Tommy plays at the bad-boy image thing more than he truly believes it about himself. Maybe he could've been a bad guy - maybe he would've turned out that way, if the Young Avengers hadn't broken him out of that detention center years ago. But he made his choice when they presented it to him, and he chose to be a hero rather than a villain.]
You're a good brother too, Billy. Of course, I will deny it if you tell anyone I said this, but - yeah. You're the best little brother a guy could ask for.
( lips pursed and he pulls back a bit, raises both hands to grab onto tommy by his cheeks, squishing them together as he meets green with hazel. )
You're not a bad guy. A little misguided sometimes, definitely. You've made some bad decisions, but I've made just as many of those, if not more. You're good, you--do a lot of good, you work hard to be the best you can be. I appreciate having you around, you know.
( everything is shit but he still offers tommy a smile regardless. )
[Tommy actually manages to hold still for all of this - he's picked up on the fact that being a little touchy-feely seems to be important to Billy, so he tolerates it. Likes it, even though he'd never admit to it - physical displays of affection weren't really a thing in the Shepherd house. It feels a little weird, but it's not bad, just different.]
Hey now, not so loud, [he jokingly protests, making absolutely no move to back out of Billy's grip,] I've got a reputation to uphold here.
[But Billy's not wrong. They are a team - even without the rest of the Young Avengers - and together they can face whatever the future holds for them. Tommy grins at his twin and gives him a playful nudge on the shoulder - gently, since Billy's still pretty badly bruised up.]
C'mon, you look like you're about to fall over, let's get outta here. You want me to carry you again?
[Which is his way of saying I appreciate having you around, too.]
( not like he'd talk like this with tommy in front of anyone else regardless, honestly. while the speedster may have not had much practice with brotherhood before billy, he's got two younger brothers and plenty of figuring out how to respond to them, what works and what doesn't and the conversations billy has about tommy when he isn't around? generally go significantly different than this.
the push doesn't bother him, and billy gives a soft grin in response, lowers his hands down and pushes against a shoulder gently before taking a step away. )
I've got it. I may be a bit beaten up but I'm still on my feet. Thanks for the offer though, and for your wise wisdom-filled words.
Ah, don't mention it. The wisdom thing's just part of the older brother package.
[Tommy waves a hand, grinning cheekily. He's never giving up the claim to being the older twin. Ever. Doesn't matter what the facts are, he's still saying it's him.]
Let's get going, huh? I don't think I can take the hospital smell any longer.
( with his hand staying on tommy's shoulder for support, but keeping those few steps of distance between them. it's--more comfortable that way, honestly. gives him space to breathe. )
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@tommy ~4 days post rescues (preloki)
it's easy to send off his room number to tommy, tell him he's still (physically) in one piece, he hopes tommy's fine, too. billy's barely slept more than catnaps for the last several days, he can't imagine tommy's doing much better.
they both have massive fucking issues over the whole being depowered and collared thing, nobody likes that shit. )
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So maybe he lost his shit a little when he was captured (again) and depowered (again). Maybe he took off running the second he got his powers back and hasn't stopped since, barely slowed down enough to pay attention to his phone. Maybe he didn't check in with Billy because he figured Billy could take care of himself, powerful reality-warping mage that he is, and because he still isn't used to anyone giving a shit about him. He's been functionally alone for most of his life, after all.
But Tommy can read between the lines of what Billy's text message says to what it doesn't say. He doesn't waste time texting back, just zooms his way into Billy's room with a gust of wind trailing behind him - cleaned up, patched himself up and let his natural mutant physiology do the rest as far as healing, still a little bruised up but outwardly no worse for the wear.]
You look like shit.
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he doesn't know what he would do if tommy fell apart. )
Happens, I guess.
( his tone's lackluster, dry, but billy turns eyes over to tommy regardless. raises a hand to coax him in a little closer. )
You look a little less like shit.
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[Ha. Except he's not really kidding. Tommy shrugs, then zips over to pull up a chair to the side of the bed, folding himself into it haphazardly - not relaxed, ready to spring back to his feet at a second's notice, if necessary. Erratically, he taps the tip of his finger along the chair's arm, giving Billy a closer visual inspection.]
How long are you stuck here for?
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( not for any of those reasons, at least. everyone got a bit banged up. that's--part of being kidnapped by a crazy cult. teeth dig into his lower lip on the side that's not covered in bandages, considering just how much he wants to let onto, here. how much to get into any of it. )
I can't go back to the Sanctum though, so. . ready to move into our new place?
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Yeah ... right after I punch whichever one of 'em's being the asshole. Is it Loki? I bet it's Loki.
[Loki seems more likely to be an asshole than Teddy, but hell, Tommy'll punch both of them, if necessary. He's got lingering badfeels about being kidnapped and violence is a great solution.]
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It's me, I'm the asshole. And I'd really like it if you wouldn't punch me right now, I'm bruised enough.
( his face is a mess, his everything is a mess. at the very least, he hasn't broken down into disappearing off into his head yet. they're still a few steps away from that. )
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[Not when Billy’s doing such a damn good job of beating himself up. Tommy rolls his eyes and holds up a hand to signal Billy to stop.]
C’mon, out with it. What happened? Can you even walk right now?
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I was selfish, self-centered, and didn't think of anyone's feelings but my own. Which, you know, really doesn't work well in relationships. I don't recommend it. But it's over now.
( and he can't just wish himself out of existence, sadly. )
That's something I'm going to have to live with.
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Over, like ... over-over? With both of them?
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Loki said I don't give a shit about him, Teddy told me to forget he's even here. So.
( they're done. billy can't blame them for any of it. loki wasn't wrong. isn't. and teddy didn't deserve any of the bullshit he put him through. it'd be best if he could just--disappear, but that wasn't working out for him well at all. )
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If Loki actually meant that, then he doesn’t know you. All you do is care - it’s your whole Billy thing. And Teddy ...
[Tommy shakes his head. He always had a shred of doubt about Teddy and Billy working out, but they seemed good together. Solid. Sickeningly so, sometimes, but they were deeply into each other, from what Tommy could see. Tommy steps in front of Billy to stop him, draw his attention.]
Look, I don’t know what to tell you here - I don’t do relationships or feelings, and this is exactly why. It’s a mess. So maybe you’re better off without ‘em, who knows, but I do know that they’re not better off without you. You’re not a bad guy, Billy. Believe me, I’d know - I have some experience in that, remember?
[A slight smile turns up the corner of his mouth. It’s half of a joke - there’s never been any question about which of them is the good twin and which one is the team sociopath.]
So maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you made a bunch of ‘em - I don’t know, I wasn’t here, I don’t know what you said or did or didn’t say or do. But that’s the thing about life - as long as you’re here, you always have the chance to fix what’s wrong and make up for your mistakes. I know a little something about that, too.
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Maybe I'll try it your way for a little while. No feelings, no relationships.
( it's meant to be a joke but fuck of billy doesn't mean it. tommy has--his issues, too, yes, but being a little more tommy-like to avoid further heartbreak sounds absolutely amazing. not that there's much left of his heart to shatter. he already feels like it's broken into thousands of tiny bits, broken glass pieces scattered all over the ground.
but billy's raising both arms and wrapping them around tommy, hugging him tight despite the protest he gets from bruised ribs. )
You're an absolutely amazing brother, Tommy. I'm--sorry I wasn't there for you, after we got out of there.
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Billy's whole thing for hugging him is a change, too, but secretly, Tommy doesn't actually mind it. Maybe this is what happens when you grow up with parents who give a shit about you - you don't always feel the need to bolt when feelings are involved. Tommy sighs out a long breath and wraps his arms gently but firmly around Billy in return.]
Glad to hear I'm not doing too terrible of a job at being a brother. I didn't have any practice at it before you.
[There's still room for improvement, though. Tommy turns his head into Billy's shoulder, words muffling against his shirt.]
Sorry I took off. I figured - you had people. [Loki and Teddy. Others, maybe.] You didn't really need me.
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he'll always have tommy, at least. no matter what else goes on. ) Don't worry about it. Really. I should've been there for you, taken off after you after--all of that.
( when this place just managed to hit all of tommy's trauma keys at once. billy was the one should have been present. )
And you're a great brother. Way better than those two hellions back home.
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[He's only half serious; Tommy plays at the bad-boy image thing more than he truly believes it about himself. Maybe he could've been a bad guy - maybe he would've turned out that way, if the Young Avengers hadn't broken him out of that detention center years ago. But he made his choice when they presented it to him, and he chose to be a hero rather than a villain.]
You're a good brother too, Billy. Of course, I will deny it if you tell anyone I said this, but - yeah. You're the best little brother a guy could ask for.
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( lips pursed and he pulls back a bit, raises both hands to grab onto tommy by his cheeks, squishing them together as he meets green with hazel. )
You're not a bad guy. A little misguided sometimes, definitely. You've made some bad decisions, but I've made just as many of those, if not more. You're good, you--do a lot of good, you work hard to be the best you can be. I appreciate having you around, you know.
( everything is shit but he still offers tommy a smile regardless. )
We're a team, we'll get through anything.
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Hey now, not so loud, [he jokingly protests, making absolutely no move to back out of Billy's grip,] I've got a reputation to uphold here.
[But Billy's not wrong. They are a team - even without the rest of the Young Avengers - and together they can face whatever the future holds for them. Tommy grins at his twin and gives him a playful nudge on the shoulder - gently, since Billy's still pretty badly bruised up.]
C'mon, you look like you're about to fall over, let's get outta here. You want me to carry you again?
[Which is his way of saying I appreciate having you around, too.]
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the push doesn't bother him, and billy gives a soft grin in response, lowers his hands down and pushes against a shoulder gently before taking a step away. )
I've got it. I may be a bit beaten up but I'm still on my feet. Thanks for the offer though, and for your wise wisdom-filled words.
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[Tommy waves a hand, grinning cheekily. He's never giving up the claim to being the older twin. Ever. Doesn't matter what the facts are, he's still saying it's him.]
Least I can do is share.
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( with his hand staying on tommy's shoulder for support, but keeping those few steps of distance between them. it's--more comfortable that way, honestly. gives him space to breathe. )
What do we need for the new place?