[ open ] if we're all just cynics come undone

[dothelokimotion]

who: Loki + You
what: Rescuing + Canon update
when: June 15th + Late June
where: Around!
warnings: Spoilers for Infinity War, violence


[ Loki awakens.

It was startling, like he had forgotten how to breathe and submerged underwater for all his days. His chest heaves, fits of coughing wrestling his voice away from him as the doctors clamor above him, gloved hands resting on his shoulders. Violently, Loki shakes them off, immediately climbing out of bed and fleeing the hospital. Hospital. How had he ended up here? How —

A few blocks away, Loki stops, his back resting against the wall. Trembling, his fingers go upwards, touching his neck and drawing back with a hiss. Loki cannot see them but he can feel it. Dark finger-brands upon his skin, squeezing the life out of him, until he couldn't breathe, he couldn't see Thor, spots dancing in his vision, and thinking I don't want to go, I don't want to go —

He slides against the wall, boneless, leaning his head back. The sky looked so blue. His throat aches.

I could have done it, father! I could have done it. For you! For all of you.

Odin was right all along. Loki never could have done it. ]

[ i. infiltration, open to hostages and infiltrators joining him. ]

[ When Loki learned of the kidnappings and who had been taken, his anger overpowered any lingering feelings of self-loathing and tragedy. It was a task he could throw himself into, even as he constantly doubts any effort made in his part. Doubts the ability in his hands, the power in his bones. He would like nothing more than to squirrel himself away, cut off all ties. He didn't want to try anymore only to fail. He can't do it, he knows that now.

But . . . he found he couldn't stop either. For that, Loki blames Thor and curses him constantly under his breath as he and Jim sneak into the base, under heavy illusions, similar to the ones he has placed around his neck. The wound there was slow healing and even Loki's voice bore the slight twinge of soreness. Thankfully, he is nothing if not an excellent pretender.

Jim shoots a few people down, but Loki swats the men away. Steps on a man's neck as he makes his way through. Once they cleared the area, Loki drops part of the illusion to the hostages, his voice sharp and curt. ]

We're leaving. Can you get up?

[ ii. brawl ]

[ It had been bloody but short. Blissfully short. Loki doesn't join the medics (his healing gifts were mediocre and he is not in the mood to help out the entire community). He should approach his . . . friends. Family. But strength fails him as he stands there, looking hopelessly lost. Loki should be proud, shouldn't he? He managed to help, it didn't fall apart.

He should be proud.

He feels none of these things.

One of the kidnappers (missed by the general chaos) rushes at him, but Loki easily turns and grabs him by the throat. Squeezes. And then lets go with a gasp, colour draining from his face. The kidnapper stumbles back, confused but seeing an opportunity and rushes at Loki again.

Loki who is frozen stiff and cannot move. ]

[ iii. aftermath ]

[ Loki doesn't join the healers (he considers his skills in that area mediocre), but he does stop by a few people, healing them of minor gashes and wounds. He doesn't make eye contact. They come and go, and Loki is oddly mute, no quicksilver lines and retorts passing through his lips. Breath in, breath out. He waves them off. What Loki hasn't realized is the illusion he had placed around his neck was slowly flickering, giving away to Loki's bone-exhaustion. ]

There. Off you go.

[ iv. wildcard ]

[ Loki will be around, killing kidnappers, healing people and sort of drifting here and there, checking up on people. Post-event, you can meet him at Gramarye, in his office or doing a few quiet lectures or around Riverview in general. ]

Comments

[spellslots]

[Taako nods, not entirely sure if he believes it, even if he wants to. It's strange to feel like he needs to mourn for someone who's standing right in front of him.]

Is there anything I can do? No holds barred on this one, you can ask for whatever you want, it's a one time only offer.

[Sort of a joke, and he even manages a hint of a smile.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ That's what makes it so strange, so difficult. And Loki's done it plenty of times, but this one — this one feels like a real sliver in his heart. ]

Then I'll put a raincheck on it.

[spellslots]

Kinda defeats the purpose of a one time offer, but I'll make an exception for you.

[He often does, after all. But it's not surprising that Loki doesn't ask for anything, these situations are hard.]

If you wanna tell me what happened you can, whenever you're ready, but like... if that never happens it's cool, no hard feelings on keeping that kinda secret.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki rarely asks for anything. He believes in being independent and he'd rather deal with situations himself than deal with the disappointment of asking and being denied. ]

There isn't much to tell.

[ He rubs his fingers together. ]

He killed — many people. And was ready to kill Thor. That's it. That's all that mattered.

[spellslots]

I get it.

[The same would've been done for Lup, without hesitation. It's the only fair trade in the whole goddamn universe, in Taako's mind.]

When you say people, you mean yours or like in general?

[Both suck, obviously, but he knows about Asgard, about how few of them are left.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ The universe in the balance . . . and Loki bargains for one man. He nearly cried when Stark told him Thor still lived. ]

My people. But apparently he also wiped out half the universe.

[spellslots]

Shit.

[There's a small part of him that has to think at least it was only half, but they stopped the Hunger, and the... creator or whatever the fuck he was said that he was going to fix it. It doesn't sound like they've defeated Thanos.]

How the fuck does someone wipe out half the universe?

[dothelokimotion]

With Infinity Stones. Powerful items that control time, space, reality . . . They are not easy to wield and they can take out a fair amount of stress on a person's body.

[ It would tear apart a normal person. Loki could manage it because he was a God. ]

He was collecting them.

[spellslots]

Sounds kinda like the stupid shit we made.

[Although the relics were more linked to schools of magic, since that's where their experience was, but it's... similar. And apparently together they're powerful enough to wipe people out of existence, which also sounds like the relics and the light, when used wrong.]

Can it be undone, if someone else gets the stones off him?

[dothelokimotion]

I don't know. Possibly.

[ Loki has very little idea of what is happening now. Only that Thor lives. Which, to be fair, is 99% of his investment. Everyone else can perish. ]

[spellslots]

Thor's probably gonna get a canister at some point, that's usually how this shit works, maybe he'll know more.

[Because he's not dead, like Loki, and that thought still doesn't feel right.]

[dothelokimotion]

I don't want him to know.

[ Which is childish, but Loki stands by it. Knowing does nothing. It helps nobody. Loki certainly didn't want to know. ]

[spellslots]

You already saved him, bubbale, you can't protect him from everything.

[He's not holding the pettiness against Loki, not over something like this.]

[dothelokimotion]

I know that!

[ Loki gnaws on his lower lip. ]

But I was so close. I finally achieved something that made me believe I could be equal to Thor. I could feel good about myself.