[ open ] if we're all just cynics come undone

[dothelokimotion]

who: Loki + You
what: Rescuing + Canon update
when: June 15th + Late June
where: Around!
warnings: Spoilers for Infinity War, violence


[ Loki awakens.

It was startling, like he had forgotten how to breathe and submerged underwater for all his days. His chest heaves, fits of coughing wrestling his voice away from him as the doctors clamor above him, gloved hands resting on his shoulders. Violently, Loki shakes them off, immediately climbing out of bed and fleeing the hospital. Hospital. How had he ended up here? How —

A few blocks away, Loki stops, his back resting against the wall. Trembling, his fingers go upwards, touching his neck and drawing back with a hiss. Loki cannot see them but he can feel it. Dark finger-brands upon his skin, squeezing the life out of him, until he couldn't breathe, he couldn't see Thor, spots dancing in his vision, and thinking I don't want to go, I don't want to go —

He slides against the wall, boneless, leaning his head back. The sky looked so blue. His throat aches.

I could have done it, father! I could have done it. For you! For all of you.

Odin was right all along. Loki never could have done it. ]

[ i. infiltration, open to hostages and infiltrators joining him. ]

[ When Loki learned of the kidnappings and who had been taken, his anger overpowered any lingering feelings of self-loathing and tragedy. It was a task he could throw himself into, even as he constantly doubts any effort made in his part. Doubts the ability in his hands, the power in his bones. He would like nothing more than to squirrel himself away, cut off all ties. He didn't want to try anymore only to fail. He can't do it, he knows that now.

But . . . he found he couldn't stop either. For that, Loki blames Thor and curses him constantly under his breath as he and Jim sneak into the base, under heavy illusions, similar to the ones he has placed around his neck. The wound there was slow healing and even Loki's voice bore the slight twinge of soreness. Thankfully, he is nothing if not an excellent pretender.

Jim shoots a few people down, but Loki swats the men away. Steps on a man's neck as he makes his way through. Once they cleared the area, Loki drops part of the illusion to the hostages, his voice sharp and curt. ]

We're leaving. Can you get up?

[ ii. brawl ]

[ It had been bloody but short. Blissfully short. Loki doesn't join the medics (his healing gifts were mediocre and he is not in the mood to help out the entire community). He should approach his . . . friends. Family. But strength fails him as he stands there, looking hopelessly lost. Loki should be proud, shouldn't he? He managed to help, it didn't fall apart.

He should be proud.

He feels none of these things.

One of the kidnappers (missed by the general chaos) rushes at him, but Loki easily turns and grabs him by the throat. Squeezes. And then lets go with a gasp, colour draining from his face. The kidnapper stumbles back, confused but seeing an opportunity and rushes at Loki again.

Loki who is frozen stiff and cannot move. ]

[ iii. aftermath ]

[ Loki doesn't join the healers (he considers his skills in that area mediocre), but he does stop by a few people, healing them of minor gashes and wounds. He doesn't make eye contact. They come and go, and Loki is oddly mute, no quicksilver lines and retorts passing through his lips. Breath in, breath out. He waves them off. What Loki hasn't realized is the illusion he had placed around his neck was slowly flickering, giving away to Loki's bone-exhaustion. ]

There. Off you go.

[ iv. wildcard ]

[ Loki will be around, killing kidnappers, healing people and sort of drifting here and there, checking up on people. Post-event, you can meet him at Gramarye, in his office or doing a few quiet lectures or around Riverview in general. ]

Comments

[scholiast]

Is everybody out?

(She's stopping to help somebody else with the collar around their neck, using magic to prise it carefully off.)

[dothelokimotion]

No, but they will be. The entire community is here, more or less.

[ Which is why Loki chose infiltration. ]

[scholiast]

Go without me.

(She's not leaving until anybody else is free. How could she? She's got one collar off and has started on another, directing the person she's just freed to do the same.)

Or, if you wanted to stay, we could all leave here a lot faster.

(hint hint)

[dothelokimotion]

Or I could just carry you out.

[scholiast]

I don't need to be carried out, I can walk just fine. Go find Taako and carry him out.

[dothelokimotion]

I think he would enjoy that a little too much.

[ But he keeps his tone level and blunt. It scrapes over his throat, bringing further pain. ]

You will jeopardize the operation if you linger. The sooner you leave, the sooner I can return and ferry more people out. Otherwise they will realize the ruse for what it is.

[scholiast]

(Her smile in response is very brief; it stings, to be told this.)

I'm not leaving anybody behind. (Lucretia has never been interested in personal preservation. This– it's not a selfless thing, it's more that she can't stand the idea of innocent people being hurt. Of one person not making it out, or being attacked on the way there.)

I can help you. I have my magic, I can ward and shield and teleport if necessary.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki isn't interested in pulling punches. He's tired, he's dead and he wants — he doesn't know what he wants beyond extinguishing every feeling he's ever had. He doesn't want to hear about selflessness and a desire to protect people, not when it cost him everything. ]

And yet you still got caught.

[scholiast]

(Lucretia frowns, stung for a second time.) I got jumped leaving work– Loki, why did you bother coming to free me, if you didn't want me to help? You know me.

(Surely he didn't think she'd be content to march herself off?)

[dothelokimotion]

You know why.

[ His voice creaks at the end, leaving Loki frustrated again at his weakness. The urge to touch the lesions on his throat is unbearable. ]

I freed you to save your life and little else.

[scholiast]

Thank you, (Lucretia says stiffly, and drops her gaze from him back to the collar she's working on. The third. She's making good progress, it's not as if this is taking much time. And something else is going on with Loki, something bubbling beneath the surface and it's bleeding over into this, but Lucretia isn't sure– does she ignore it? Push through it?

Well, he can't make her leave.)

I owe you a life debt. Keep going, I'll catch up to you.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki hisses. ]

I am not interested in life debts and scores.

[ But he purses his lips, schooling his expression into pointed disinterest. ]

Fine. I did my part.

[scholiast]

Fine. Go.

(Lucretia is trying to be matter-of-fact but it's obvious that she's unhappy; she doesn't look at Loki again as she snaps the third collar off, and turns to a fourth person. Irritated as she is, it doesn't stop her from adding:)

Be safe.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki turns on his heel, his composure cracking at the seams like ruined porcelain. It's petty not to respond and it's bound to raise alarm bells, but Loki can't do this right now. Can't be here with people fighting and hurting and think of futility.

Sentiment. How he truly hates it. ]