[ open ] if we're all just cynics come undone

[dothelokimotion]

who: Loki + You
what: Rescuing + Canon update
when: June 15th + Late June
where: Around!
warnings: Spoilers for Infinity War, violence


[ Loki awakens.

It was startling, like he had forgotten how to breathe and submerged underwater for all his days. His chest heaves, fits of coughing wrestling his voice away from him as the doctors clamor above him, gloved hands resting on his shoulders. Violently, Loki shakes them off, immediately climbing out of bed and fleeing the hospital. Hospital. How had he ended up here? How —

A few blocks away, Loki stops, his back resting against the wall. Trembling, his fingers go upwards, touching his neck and drawing back with a hiss. Loki cannot see them but he can feel it. Dark finger-brands upon his skin, squeezing the life out of him, until he couldn't breathe, he couldn't see Thor, spots dancing in his vision, and thinking I don't want to go, I don't want to go —

He slides against the wall, boneless, leaning his head back. The sky looked so blue. His throat aches.

I could have done it, father! I could have done it. For you! For all of you.

Odin was right all along. Loki never could have done it. ]

[ i. infiltration, open to hostages and infiltrators joining him. ]

[ When Loki learned of the kidnappings and who had been taken, his anger overpowered any lingering feelings of self-loathing and tragedy. It was a task he could throw himself into, even as he constantly doubts any effort made in his part. Doubts the ability in his hands, the power in his bones. He would like nothing more than to squirrel himself away, cut off all ties. He didn't want to try anymore only to fail. He can't do it, he knows that now.

But . . . he found he couldn't stop either. For that, Loki blames Thor and curses him constantly under his breath as he and Jim sneak into the base, under heavy illusions, similar to the ones he has placed around his neck. The wound there was slow healing and even Loki's voice bore the slight twinge of soreness. Thankfully, he is nothing if not an excellent pretender.

Jim shoots a few people down, but Loki swats the men away. Steps on a man's neck as he makes his way through. Once they cleared the area, Loki drops part of the illusion to the hostages, his voice sharp and curt. ]

We're leaving. Can you get up?

[ ii. brawl ]

[ It had been bloody but short. Blissfully short. Loki doesn't join the medics (his healing gifts were mediocre and he is not in the mood to help out the entire community). He should approach his . . . friends. Family. But strength fails him as he stands there, looking hopelessly lost. Loki should be proud, shouldn't he? He managed to help, it didn't fall apart.

He should be proud.

He feels none of these things.

One of the kidnappers (missed by the general chaos) rushes at him, but Loki easily turns and grabs him by the throat. Squeezes. And then lets go with a gasp, colour draining from his face. The kidnapper stumbles back, confused but seeing an opportunity and rushes at Loki again.

Loki who is frozen stiff and cannot move. ]

[ iii. aftermath ]

[ Loki doesn't join the healers (he considers his skills in that area mediocre), but he does stop by a few people, healing them of minor gashes and wounds. He doesn't make eye contact. They come and go, and Loki is oddly mute, no quicksilver lines and retorts passing through his lips. Breath in, breath out. He waves them off. What Loki hasn't realized is the illusion he had placed around his neck was slowly flickering, giving away to Loki's bone-exhaustion. ]

There. Off you go.

[ iv. wildcard ]

[ Loki will be around, killing kidnappers, healing people and sort of drifting here and there, checking up on people. Post-event, you can meet him at Gramarye, in his office or doing a few quiet lectures or around Riverview in general. ]

Comments

[worldsaway]

[Thor's frustration melts away for the most part, he doesn't have it in him to try confront Loki. He doesn't have the heart to accuse him of keeping secrets, though the thought eats at him.

He looks concerned as he approaches, stopping short of Loki to inspect him for wounds that would prompt him to freeze and cower.]

You could have texted me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ His breath catches but once more, he forces it down with a careless shrug. ]

You were busy. As am I.

[worldsaway]

Too busy for me?

[Thor questions. He doesn't take his eyes off Loki. He can hear the sound of footsteps running up behind him and he raises his hammer right into the face the cultist behind him.

They fall limp to the floor and Thor draws closer, setting his hand on Loki's neck.]

Too busy for you? I've not thought of anything but you since you left.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki flinches, his brow creased with pain. His breathing hitches, the fresh memory of Thanos' fingers around his neck throbbing against Thor's touch. Carefully, he moves away from Thor's touch. ]

This seemed like a crisis. I had no time.

[worldsaway]

[Thor's brows furrow, suspicion in his expression when Loki shrinks away. He tries not to take it personally, though he does feel a sting.]

Right. [Sounds fake but ok.] So you've not been here long, then?

[dothelokimotion]

No, Thor. I would have spoken to you otherwise.

[ Which is . . . partly a lie, but Loki knows that he can hide himself from Thor for so long. He exhales quietly, forcing another faint smile. ]

I assume you had no troubles without me.

[worldsaway]

Nothing worth noting, until the disappearances began.

[Thor's exterior warms with the small talk, though he feels as if there's something very fragile in between them.

Talking with Loki has been easier than ever before, but there are still times when it feels like the ice under Thor's feet thins with every step in the wrong direction. He decides to move into a different approach, understanding that now isn't the time to press.]

I have to return this to it's rightful owner. [He lifts up the hammer.] Have you seen him around?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki shakes his head. Hearing Thor's voice feels too good to be true. And in a way, it is. You really are the worst brother echoes in his head. It doesn't hurt. Not really, but there is a finality to it that Loki can appreciate. ]

I'm afraid not. Though you don't seem to mind it.

[worldsaway]

I've missed it. The weight of it.

[Thor flips it in his hand, catching it easily and looking down at it fondly.]

It's a clever one. It came and found me, let me know that something was amiss with the other Thor. [He pauses.]

Do you ever get used to saying that? The other?

[dothelokimotion]

I don't use that word frequently.

[ Other has negative connotations, ones Loki does not like to indulge in. It was an otherness that kept him apart from Asgardians. His throat bobs, but his glamor holds strong. ]

But I am myself. I have accepted that.

[worldsaway]

[It’s a strangely sentimental thing for Loki to say, and so sincerely. Thor’s expression turns momentarily, from a goading smirk to a sincere smile. He feels proud for a moment, but wouldn’t dampen the moment by saying so.

He reaches out to nudge Loki’s shoulder instead.]

You’re you and I’m me. [He hints, playfully.] And Thor is Beardless, hammer-wielding Thor. I think it rolls off the tongue.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki huffs slightly. It's too easy to relax in Thor's presence, to see Thor again when he thought he never would. It's on the tip of his tongue, all the hurts, all the pain but he couldn't, he couldn't do it all over again.

He wants to pretend he's a good brother for a little longer, no matter how it falls apart later. ]

It does have a certain ring to it. Thor the Beardless.