riverviewlogs | ( closed ) we'll have a heart-to-heart

Entry tags:

( closed ) we'll have a heart-to-heart

who: Loki, Teddy, & Billy
what: a disastrous conversation
when: Early June
where: Sanctum Sanctorum.
warnings: n/a yet

( absolutely no part of this is a great idea but whatever, sometimes you have to make shit decisions to try and fix other things, and this just happens to be one of those times, doesn't it. billy's made himself comfortable on the center of the couch, teddy on one side with a hand held tight and plenty of room left on the other for loki when he shows.

mere moments into waiting and he's already pulling his feet up onto the couch, knees to his chest and an arm wrapped over the top of them, palm pressed to his forehead.

next time he'll make sure to bring the ice cream carton with him into the lounge. it'd probably be a lot easier that way. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It's really not. Teddy feels like his stomach is twisted in on itself, he's tense... and he's still very sure none of this will end well. There's a pretty huge sense of dread he's trying to push aside because Billy looks like he's having enough of an issue as it is. He squeezes Billy's hand tightly in his own, reassuring -- and maybe letting himself cling to Billy in an acceptable way, keep himself grounded for a bit.

It doesn't count as being weak if you keep it to yourself? Or if it helps Billy at all.]

Hey, come on, B. Uncurl yourself and try to take a breath, okay? One way or another, things will be worked out.

[ Loki is late. This is a conscious decision and he's glad of it when he strolls into the lounge to find a united front awaiting him. Green eyes flicker between Billy and Teddy, to their hands, then lazily glance away as he folds his arms to slouch in the doorway, catching the last of Teddy's words. ]

"One way or another" sounds like decisive thinking.

( his mouth opens to respond to teddy moments before billy shifts his attention to loki himself when he wanders in through the door and doesn't move any closer. considering how clingy loki usually is, that's--telling enough on it's own. the arm he has wrapped around legs shifts back as he tilts his back, too, fingers extending out to reach for the godling. )

Hey. We were waiting for you.

Hey.

[Yeah, this is already going wonderfully, isn't it? He shifts a little, sitting up straighter, unconsciously squeezing Billy's hand a little bit tighter -- it's something to keep himself grounded with.]

[ Billy has Teddy's hand, he doesn't need Loki's. That's how it looks from the hand-holding, a privilege formely (and solely) Loki's. ]

You two intend to reunite, then. As before. [ A pointed look is given to Billy, cocking his head as if to say You promised me better. ] In my own home so far, too.

I promised you I wasn't going to leave you, remember?

( he already regrets all of this, thanks. a quick reassuring squeeze to teddy's hand before he's shaking his own loose, getting up to his feet to try and press close to loki. )

That hasn't changed. It's--it's not going to.

I told you this wasn't going to work, B.

[And now he's left to sit alone on the couch, feeling even more out of place. He crosses his arms, almost hugging himself as he tries to ignore the way his stomach knots even tighter, his eyes dart away.]

He's made that clear, you know, that he isn't leaving you. [He pauses, eyes darting towards the door, wondering if he should leave now and make this easier, but he stays planted.

But if Billy doesn't want him to be just part of his past, it sounds like he's going to have to be the one to tell Billy -- just like Teddy told him at the start.]

Edited (clarification!) 2018-06-11 17:18 (UTC)

[ It's odd not to feel surprise, this was always an eventuality in the back of his mind but never one that would occur so soon. He thinks back to Billy reminding him, "our six month anniversary", and it almost seems appropriate to now ask if that was a termination date.

His gaze softens as Billy nears and he sounds, to his own annoyance, understanding instead of angry. Letting him close in without reaching for him, Teddy's voice relegated to the sidelines. ]

I know what you promised. But what's he going to do, share our bed? Have you in another down the hall while I can feel it through our bond? No.

No. ( he's all nerves, a short fuse ready to go off at the slightest bad response, but fuck, billy's trying. he's trying to keep calm, to keep from running out that door himself and leaving both loki and teddy behind. he doesn't. instead, billy reaches for loki's hand, shoves fingers in between the other's own to grab on and hold tight to him, lips pressed together. )

I don't know? I mean--all of this is completely new territory for me, too. I don't know what we're supposed to do. I wanted--to talk to you and Teddy, figure out what we're supposed to do now.

( which. is when he starts to pull loki towards the couch, or at least try to. ) Can we sit down? Try and figure this out. I don't want to--make either of you uncomfortable or upset, really, I don't. That's why I. . figured talking together would be better than trying to do this separately.

Billy--

[He lets out a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face as he shifts forward on the couch. He wants to talk -- for Billy's sake. But he's not sure he can stomach sitting here honestly.

Especially when Loki seems to be looking for a fight.]

I want to be part of Billy's life... and I think I have a right to be. Two years of my life-- of loving him with everything I have. But-- we need to figure out how to make that work.

[Or he will have to go -- and who the hell knows. Live in a jungle.] This isn't about sex. I can't even think about that.

[He really can't, not when it's obvious Billy's given up something that he always thought they'd do together.]

[ The look Loki cuts across at Teddy is sharp-edged, growing impatient with the entitled demands but holding back unpleasant retorts out of respect for what Billy asked of him. Back to Billy, then, and his fingers twitch in his betrothed's. ]

Tell me one thing. Would you still accept the apple?

[ If it meant Billy would outlive Teddy, could Billy bear that? Would Loki be enough without the other man, as he has been this far? Such thoughts plague him, knitting his brow. ]

( that's. not a question he's contemplated over the last several days. it has him pausing, brows furrowing as he. takes a moment. he hadn't decided for certain if he--was even willing to take up loki's offer. immortality is a lot, and not something he should decide on in the heat of a moment, or just for someone else.

but he gets what loki's asking, here. if he's enough. billy would have hoped that their several months has already proven loki's plenty, almost too much sometimes. )

Yes. ( no, this doesn't effect that. he'd--really prefer it if they could all just exist comfortably around each other, if loki would share with teddy, too, but that's a lot to expect right now so billy doesn't bother mentioning it. ) Now can you stop antagonizing and glaring at Teddy and sit down with us? We'll figure this out, together.

[Teddy is a kree-skrull hybrid who's nearly impossible to kill -- he's not dying anytime soon anyway. He doesn't have a normal human lifespan in any sense of the word, but he's not touching on that.

Especially when it doesn't seem like Loki is even interested in addressing him at the moment.]

I can just go. We can try this another time or...

Stay.

[ A sigh turns his head as his arm finally slides around Billy, holding him close. There's potential here for Billy to remain with Loki indefinitely, the possibility of which is all Loki needs to settle his nerves.

This time when he opens his eyes on Teddy, he looks tired instead of angry. ]

We're going to need terms. To begin: I keep my home with Billy.

( at least he's not glaring daggers into teddy anymore. that's an improvement. this still isn't--sitting calmly on the couch to talk about stuff, but. billy can work with this. he turns around in the circle of loki's arm, leans back against him. tries to provide that extra layer of contact that generally helps calm loki's nerves a little, even if he really just wants to sit and hold onto each of their hands tight.

eyes focused on teddy, a steadying weight against loki. it's as close as he's going to get. )

I was going to ask Strange if he could kick up a room for Teddy.

[He gives a tired look of his own and makes himself sit back on the couch, tries not to fidget too much. He does cast his eyes down a little bit. Talk. He can talk.]

It's fine, Billy. I can get an apartment of my own.

[It doesn't sound like Billy will be sharing a room with him anytime anyway, and he doesn't think he can stomach seeing Billy go to Loki's... not right now. Not until they're all getting along better.]

Loki doesn't want it, and I make enough to find something of my own.

[ Teddy's sense of decorum far exceeds Billy's sense of propriety. Mild mercies. ]

This is my sanctuary, Billy. From my enemies. [ He nods to Teddy. ] We need distance for more than one reason.

You're not enemies.

( but despite the twist to his lips he's not arguing against them. there's no point to it, and starting a battle over something they're both agreeing to would be pretty dumb. )

I'd like it if you guys could get along. Someday.

Billy's right. I'm not your enemy... and I don't know what kind of guy you think I am, but I'm not going to let anyone hurt you any more than I would anyone else.

[That's not the kind of man he even wants to be, no matter how depressed he might be at the situation.]

... I'd like that too, and not just because it'd make Billy's life easier either.

[ The most rolled of eyes!! ]

My evil future self! Doom. Magneto. Actual enemies, not a grudge against Teddy. [ Such teens. ] If anyone comes through the portal who has beef with me, everyone here is at risk from magical attacks.

( point taken. not that he hasn't also fought with doom, or lokis. . magneto is a bit more complicated but whatever, they'll figure out how to deal with that whenever it comes up, if it does. )

Okay. So Teddy gets an apartment. ( whatever!! it's not like billy doesn't take over every space he can. ) What other terms.

( since he's kind of stuck in the middle here, billy doesn't see the need to start naming his own shit off. )

[Teddy's fought all of that, he's rushed in the middle of warring Kree and Skrull, but there's no point in arguing it, no. He'd rather have his own space at the moment anyway.]

I don't even know how to start discussing this stuff, so...

[And Billy isn't making any suggestions... Teddy isn't really sure anything he wants won't be brushed off by Loki as soon as it leaves his lips.]

I think a lot of this depends on what you actually want, Billy. You're at the center of all this.

Aye, [ with a squeeze to Billy's waist, ] you want us both but how do you propose to make this work?

Edited 2018-06-11 19:39 (UTC)

I honestly have absolutely no idea.

( all new territory. it was one thing to be figuring out how to worm his way in loki's life, another to fit into teddy's. trying to maneuver around the both of them sounds near-impossible. )

I don't want to make either of you uncomfortable, or do anything you don't feel comfortable with--I mean, relationship wise. ( he'll do as he pleases with 90% of other shit, no one can stop him. ) Teddy and I have stuff to work on. It'd be--easier if we could all get along, be able to sit in the same room without either of you getting flighty.

This entire situation is uncomfortable, Billy. That's just-- how it's going to be for a while, I think.

[He looks at Loki briefly, letting out a sigh.] And I think it'll take some work, if you want us all to get along. I'll try. Loki has to want it too though.

[And considering they couldn't even make nice in an ice cream shop of all places, he has no idea how long that will be until he wants to, if ever.]

I don't want to be told I'm just a part of your past, not if you actually think there's room for me in your future, Billy.

[That would be a start towards making nice, at least. If Billy would have his back on that, if Loki could respect him that much.]

... And I don't want a competition, or to fight for you or your attention constantly. I can respect you both have something you want to keep and I don't expect you to change that. But if there's going to be kissing or anything like a couple does with me--

[Well, he just needs to know there's room for it, that he's not unimportant or an annoyance, or someone to be ran off.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject