who: Alex Reagan and Open what: May normal stuff, plus mingle stuff and possibly sickness plotting stuff. when: Month of May! where: All over Riverview. warnings: Possible illness stuff, shippy stuff.
[That, hadn't gone how he'd expected it to. He'd been hoping that Alex was tired enough to remain asleep; that he could take her glasses off and quietly read while she recovered. Instead, she decided to wake up, and sit up.
As she did, her hand moving to his face and concern filling her eyes, there was a sense of surprise. It had been so long since someone had made such an expression toward him, so long since anyone had shown concern toward him that it surprised him.
Then she told him how long he was asleep. Five days wasn't that bad in comparison to some, but it seemed like it had been a lifetime to Alex. A lifetime of worry that he'd caused. His chest tightened at the thought of it.
Richard closed his eyes, covering them with his hand a moment, frowning.]
I should get a shower.
[He needed to compartmentalize this. To break down what had happened and how to match it to his world view.]
[Five days was an exceptionally long time for Alex, and later she'd been amused bt the symmetry of how five days kept being something that he did without really meaning to do it. But for right now, she was just focused on him being here and awake, with life in his face before he covered it over.
While demons made most of the fodder for Alex's nightmares, there were nights when the demons were content to take the back seat and allow the end of the world to come to the forefront, drawn there by Alex's guilt about the things that the show might have done, even if Strand contended that there was nothing going on. It was during those dreams that Alex's subconscious truly ran wild, and decided to be as hard on her as it could be.
More times than she wanted to think about (especially since she'd been here) Alex Reagan had dreamed about finding Richard Strand dead. Sometimes it was bloody, sigils and sacred geometry carved into his chest or Warren sacrificing him to Tiamat on some sort of alter while she was forced to watch. Other times it was going to see him and finding him hanging like Maddie Franks in the large foyer of his father's house, his face blew and his hands at his neck trying to get loose.
But even with the blood and the trauma that went along with the others, the ones that were scariest to her somehow were the ones where she just found Strand dead and vacant in her bed like he'd been placed there as a present. She hated those dreams, when she couldn't find a sign of rousing in him and he was pale and slack with those lively eyes fixed and staring past her. That was what this had reminded her of, and she never wanted to think about it again.
So, Alex's voice was little when she asked softly:]
Can you stay a few more minutes, please?
[Yes, showering was important, but so was his just being here and not being in the coma, so Alex didn't feel like she was dreaming his waking up.]
[Richard shifted, pulling her tighter against him. He knew that tone of voice all too well. It was the same voice he heard from himself when things became too real. Too much for him to think about, when all he wanted were answers but all he had were guesses and worst case scenarios. When, in quieter moments alone, he thought about the possibility of his father and Coralee actually being in Warren's hands. The thought that maybe, maybe after that phone call Warren had killed them, or that he was waiting to kill them in front of Richard. There were far too many horrible scenarios that played through his head, and he could do nothing about them.
So when he heard that tone coming out of Alex, he just held her tighter, chin resting against the crown of her head. He wasn't going anywhere. Even if he really was in need of a shower.]
[Alex let out the smallest of whimpers of relief when he tightened his arms around her, and she held onto him like she thought the world was ending. Oh, she knew that he would wake up because everyone else had, but there was still the little seed of doubt that she was wrong about the motivations of the woman who had set off the virus in the beginning. Or that there was something weird in his DNA that this would kill him when it had merely made gods sick. But for now he was a safe and alive and he was here and he still remembered her, so she was going to count that for a win.
The whimper brought the sensation of something solid thudding onto the bed, and less than a minute later, the two of them were getting smothered in puppy kisses, because Alex wasn't the only one who missed him. Honestly, there were times when Alex felt that Apo might like Richard more than he liked her, and this was one of those times.]
[Richard let go of Alex to push the dog away from their collective faces. As much as he liked Apo, he wasn't particularly happy with the dog when it came to getting his face licked. Licking was fine, but face licking wasn't. Neither was climbing all over him when he had his arms full of Alex. Especially when the woman was upset. It was hard enough for someone like him to comfort anyone, let alone while a dog was using them to prance on while trying to get to him. Something Richard still didn't understand.]
[The words were quick and happy, and coupled along with a gentle shove to the end of the bed, the dog compiled... Well, sort of. Instead he went and lay along Richard's other side from Alex, snuggling next to him. It made Alex smile a bit, and she shifted to look up at him, her head still against Richard's chest.]
I'm pretty sure he missed you almost as much as I did. I practically had to drag him out of here for the shortest walks ever.
[Because neither one of them wanted to leave him alone for long, just in case he'd woken up and needed her. Which was a change because Apo loved walks, and he always went out with Alex for her morning run. Which was something else that she had skipped for five days in order to be here. It was worth it, because she didn't want him waking up and thinking that she'd disappeared on him. Alex never wanted that for him.]
[With one hand he pulled her tighter against him, leaning in to kiss the top crown of her head. The other hand rested on Apo, quietly scratching the dog's ear.
It was strange, being in this position. For over twenty years Richard never thought he'd be able to have anything even close to this. Coralee had vanished, Charlie never wanted to speak to him again, and any semblance of normalcy was destroyed. Still, here he was, with Alex in his arms and Apo curled up next to him, happy. Richard wasn't sure if this was ever not going to feel odd. Which only furthered his belief that none of this was real. How could someone like him, someone with everything in his life, be in any position to actually be happy?]
Clearly, he has the same poor judgment in people as his owner.
[If he ever expressed the idea that this wasn't real because he didn't deserve it, Alex would counter that it happened in the real world. Or at least that it would happen for her eventually. Whatever else, Alex never doubted that she would get those memories back, even if she didn't know when it would happen. Or the other things around them getting together.
But for right now, she was happy to just be glad in small victories: he was here, he was alive and he was awake, and now the sickness had run its course and he'd be immune to getting it again. This time, there was always the next time something would come up. But she didn't want to push him right now, not when she'd just gotten him back, so instead Alex laughed softly.]
Well, I mean he did chose me, so clearly he's got worse taste than I do.
[Even as it was meant to be a bait, he couldn't help feeling as if he understood that sentiment all too well.
There was no denying that Alex was persistent, and on occasion, annoying, but that didn't mean it was a negative thing. If Alex hadn't been persistent than they would have never had their meeting, there would be no podcasts about his black tapes, and he would probably have never known the truth about Coralee's disappearance. It was Alex's persistence that had caused that. Her dogged determination that had brought him answers that he never expected he would get. Had given him back his daughter, in a manner of speaking. For the first time in twenty years he had been able to speak with her, and he couldn't deny the part Alex played in that.
On top of everything else, he happened to be attracted to intelligent women, and, of course, Alex's personality showed how smart she was. Her thirst for answers was something that he knew was also deep within himself, he'd told her as much, even if she didn't remember.]
[Alex wasn't taking it personally. Not at all, not when he was finally back and awake and sounded just like himself. She knew that everyone had woken up fine, and that he was probably in a better place with it than she was because she couldn't get it, but Alex had worried. She'd worried that something would happen and he wouldn't wake up, or he wouldn't wake up with his memories or just something along those lines. Richard wasn't the only one in this relationship who happened to be a worrier. Worrying about him was second nature at this point, even before they'd admitted their feelings and were this.
So, right now, Alex was a little delirious with grief, just the smallest bit so she was letting that go without too much comment, or without baiting him in return. At least not too much.]
[Except if your name was Alex Reagan apparently, or you were a dog. Richard still didn't fully understand how Alex had grown feelings for him. It wasn't as if he'd been kind to her. Far from it in fact. He'd been a complete asshole in fact. Standoffish and less than helpful with her whole podcast. Even threatening to end it and sue the studio at one point. Yet she'd stayed. She'd persisted beyond what anyone honestly should have.
It would never fail to baffle him that she had. That she had gone on so many limbs, put herself into so many dangerous situations just for something that had started as his and his alone. his missing wife, his black tape mysteries. Now the whole thing had become theirs, and he wasn't sure she even fully realized it. Not at the point that she remembered. Just knowing that made him feel uneasy.]
You can definitely be an ass sometimes, Richard, but I think more people would like them if you let them.
[Not that she'd been thinking about it or anything. But there was something that was even more apparent here than it was back home was that people tended to actually like assholes, unless they used their armor to put off people who were less persistent than she was. And honestly, basically most of the earth's population was less persistent than she was. There was a reason why she hadn't argued when he'd called her that before, because she was.
And the two of them wouldn't be here if she wasn't, because she could only imagine how annoying Alex had needed to be in order to make Ruby make him call her back. Or however it had happened anyway.]
But, I know you won't, and that's okay. You've got good reason to not let anyone in. [Alex laughed then and looked up at him with a smile.] God knows you definitely have that. I still don't know how I even managed to worm my way in here.
[Her fingers brushed above his heart for a moment before she just grinned at him again.]
[His breath hitched for a moment as he realized, not for the first time, that he'd never be able to understand how they'd gotten to this. How his solitary search for answers (true, he had a research group, but really, the search was his alone with them tagging along), his search for his missing wife had turned into this. His arms around another woman who was almost half his age and knowing that he'd rather be here than with Coralee.
At the mention of his lacking friendship and the analysis of his character, he merely sighed. Of course Alex would think that way. She believed in close relationships, touching and flirting. Alex believed in a world where people looked at one another with a kind of respect. Richard, on the other hand, had left any semblance of belief in such a world behind over twenty years ago. Back when Coralee had abandoned her family instead of telling them what was going on and letting Charlie and himself decide if the danger was worth being together with her, even if that together were on the run. They would have, but they'd never been given that choice.]
I'm not a nice person Alex.
[It was a lie he'd told himself for twenty years. A lie he believed with very few breaks. He wasn't a nice person. He drove people away, shut them out and was cruel. This was a fact; it was him.]
And I have you.
[She was all he needed in the end. He wasn't sure how or why that had happened, but it was the truth.]
You know I don't believe that, right? That you're not a nice person? [Alex shifted, so that she was looking at him again, the frown evident on her face as her eyes met his.] And that's not to say I don't know what an asshole you can be sometimes, or how inconsiderate or obnoxious you can be. But I also don't think that you're a complete bastard either.
Richard, whatever else you do with your Institute, I think you do try and help prove to people that what they're frightened of isn't real. Do I think you go about it the wrong way sometimes and definitely could benefit from having someone like me with you to help break the news more gently? Yes. But I don't think you do it to just be a complete jerk and take people's blankets away whatever other people think.
I think that you're hoping by giving them reason as a blanket, then they won't need the other ones.
[Of course Alex wasn't going to get into the fact that she still expected that everything was real despite how hard he always tried to pretend it wasn't. Because that wasn't the argument she was making here. Here, she was arguing that he wanted to help people.]
[When she turned to face him, his fingers played across her cheeks, thumb brushing her lips lightly. With her memories returned and the two of them like this, it was difficult to not think about what was potentially about to happen between them that night. The dinner, the wine, whatever might come next. Even if what came next was sitting together, it would have been enough for Richard. Even so, he couldn't deny the fact that he wanted more.]
You're the only one who would think so.
[His hand moved to her hair, brushing stray strands away from her face. Alex was, unique in the way she thought about him. Somehow always finding the best in him even when he was more than willing to show the worst. She was always willing to chase him when he ran, and always willing to push him when he dug his heels in.]
And maybe Ruby.
[The smirk that played against his lips at that was a bit too amused.]
Well, see, that fits my point perfectly then. [Alex grinned against his fingers for a moment, and traced the space over his heart once more, still staring up at him with something more than a little like adoration on her face. There were times when she wished that she wasn't so expressive, and this was one of those times but she also knew he knew her well enough to see it even if it was more hidden. Probably, anyway, unless he chose to ignore it like he did when she was so tired and getting out of control.
But thankfully those times were over, and she knew that he had asked her if she was sleeping the last time she'd seen him before here and Alex had told the truth then; it wasn't like before. Of course that was before she spent six months alone and worrying about everything here, and the her nightmares had plunged forward into full on nightmare fuel once again.
Sleep wasn't something that she'd been fighting with anywhere near as badly since he'd shown up (until he decided to play Sleeping Beauty and spend five days in a coma anyway) so at least there was that. So Alex just beamed up at him.]
Ruby is a good judge of character, even though I'm still not convinced she doesn't hate me.
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As she did, her hand moving to his face and concern filling her eyes, there was a sense of surprise. It had been so long since someone had made such an expression toward him, so long since anyone had shown concern toward him that it surprised him.
Then she told him how long he was asleep. Five days wasn't that bad in comparison to some, but it seemed like it had been a lifetime to Alex. A lifetime of worry that he'd caused. His chest tightened at the thought of it.
Richard closed his eyes, covering them with his hand a moment, frowning.]
I should get a shower.
[He needed to compartmentalize this. To break down what had happened and how to match it to his world view.]
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While demons made most of the fodder for Alex's nightmares, there were nights when the demons were content to take the back seat and allow the end of the world to come to the forefront, drawn there by Alex's guilt about the things that the show might have done, even if Strand contended that there was nothing going on. It was during those dreams that Alex's subconscious truly ran wild, and decided to be as hard on her as it could be.
More times than she wanted to think about (especially since she'd been here) Alex Reagan had dreamed about finding Richard Strand dead. Sometimes it was bloody, sigils and sacred geometry carved into his chest or Warren sacrificing him to Tiamat on some sort of alter while she was forced to watch. Other times it was going to see him and finding him hanging like Maddie Franks in the large foyer of his father's house, his face blew and his hands at his neck trying to get loose.
But even with the blood and the trauma that went along with the others, the ones that were scariest to her somehow were the ones where she just found Strand dead and vacant in her bed like he'd been placed there as a present. She hated those dreams, when she couldn't find a sign of rousing in him and he was pale and slack with those lively eyes fixed and staring past her. That was what this had reminded her of, and she never wanted to think about it again.
So, Alex's voice was little when she asked softly:]
Can you stay a few more minutes, please?
[Yes, showering was important, but so was his just being here and not being in the coma, so Alex didn't feel like she was dreaming his waking up.]
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So when he heard that tone coming out of Alex, he just held her tighter, chin resting against the crown of her head. He wasn't going anywhere. Even if he really was in need of a shower.]
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The whimper brought the sensation of something solid thudding onto the bed, and less than a minute later, the two of them were getting smothered in puppy kisses, because Alex wasn't the only one who missed him. Honestly, there were times when Alex felt that Apo might like Richard more than he liked her, and this was one of those times.]
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[The words were quick and happy, and coupled along with a gentle shove to the end of the bed, the dog compiled... Well, sort of. Instead he went and lay along Richard's other side from Alex, snuggling next to him. It made Alex smile a bit, and she shifted to look up at him, her head still against Richard's chest.]
I'm pretty sure he missed you almost as much as I did. I practically had to drag him out of here for the shortest walks ever.
[Because neither one of them wanted to leave him alone for long, just in case he'd woken up and needed her. Which was a change because Apo loved walks, and he always went out with Alex for her morning run. Which was something else that she had skipped for five days in order to be here. It was worth it, because she didn't want him waking up and thinking that she'd disappeared on him. Alex never wanted that for him.]
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It was strange, being in this position. For over twenty years Richard never thought he'd be able to have anything even close to this. Coralee had vanished, Charlie never wanted to speak to him again, and any semblance of normalcy was destroyed. Still, here he was, with Alex in his arms and Apo curled up next to him, happy. Richard wasn't sure if this was ever not going to feel odd. Which only furthered his belief that none of this was real. How could someone like him, someone with everything in his life, be in any position to actually be happy?]
Clearly, he has the same poor judgment in people as his owner.
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But for right now, she was happy to just be glad in small victories: he was here, he was alive and he was awake, and now the sickness had run its course and he'd be immune to getting it again. This time, there was always the next time something would come up. But she didn't want to push him right now, not when she'd just gotten him back, so instead Alex laughed softly.]
Well, I mean he did chose me, so clearly he's got worse taste than I do.
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[Even as it was meant to be a bait, he couldn't help feeling as if he understood that sentiment all too well.
There was no denying that Alex was persistent, and on occasion, annoying, but that didn't mean it was a negative thing. If Alex hadn't been persistent than they would have never had their meeting, there would be no podcasts about his black tapes, and he would probably have never known the truth about Coralee's disappearance. It was Alex's persistence that had caused that. Her dogged determination that had brought him answers that he never expected he would get. Had given him back his daughter, in a manner of speaking. For the first time in twenty years he had been able to speak with her, and he couldn't deny the part Alex played in that.
On top of everything else, he happened to be attracted to intelligent women, and, of course, Alex's personality showed how smart she was. Her thirst for answers was something that he knew was also deep within himself, he'd told her as much, even if she didn't remember.]
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[Alex wasn't taking it personally. Not at all, not when he was finally back and awake and sounded just like himself. She knew that everyone had woken up fine, and that he was probably in a better place with it than she was because she couldn't get it, but Alex had worried. She'd worried that something would happen and he wouldn't wake up, or he wouldn't wake up with his memories or just something along those lines. Richard wasn't the only one in this relationship who happened to be a worrier. Worrying about him was second nature at this point, even before they'd admitted their feelings and were this.
So, right now, Alex was a little delirious with grief, just the smallest bit so she was letting that go without too much comment, or without baiting him in return. At least not too much.]
He apparently likes grouchy men too.
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[He scratched Apo's ear.]
I'm, unlikeable.
[Except if your name was Alex Reagan apparently, or you were a dog. Richard still didn't fully understand how Alex had grown feelings for him. It wasn't as if he'd been kind to her. Far from it in fact. He'd been a complete asshole in fact. Standoffish and less than helpful with her whole podcast. Even threatening to end it and sue the studio at one point. Yet she'd stayed. She'd persisted beyond what anyone honestly should have.
It would never fail to baffle him that she had. That she had gone on so many limbs, put herself into so many dangerous situations just for something that had started as his and his alone. his missing wife, his black tape mysteries. Now the whole thing had become theirs, and he wasn't sure she even fully realized it. Not at the point that she remembered. Just knowing that made him feel uneasy.]
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[Not that she'd been thinking about it or anything. But there was something that was even more apparent here than it was back home was that people tended to actually like assholes, unless they used their armor to put off people who were less persistent than she was. And honestly, basically most of the earth's population was less persistent than she was. There was a reason why she hadn't argued when he'd called her that before, because she was.
And the two of them wouldn't be here if she wasn't, because she could only imagine how annoying Alex had needed to be in order to make Ruby make him call her back. Or however it had happened anyway.]
But, I know you won't, and that's okay. You've got good reason to not let anyone in. [Alex laughed then and looked up at him with a smile.] God knows you definitely have that. I still don't know how I even managed to worm my way in here.
[Her fingers brushed above his heart for a moment before she just grinned at him again.]
But I'm glad I did.
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At the mention of his lacking friendship and the analysis of his character, he merely sighed. Of course Alex would think that way. She believed in close relationships, touching and flirting. Alex believed in a world where people looked at one another with a kind of respect. Richard, on the other hand, had left any semblance of belief in such a world behind over twenty years ago. Back when Coralee had abandoned her family instead of telling them what was going on and letting Charlie and himself decide if the danger was worth being together with her, even if that together were on the run. They would have, but they'd never been given that choice.]
I'm not a nice person Alex.
[It was a lie he'd told himself for twenty years. A lie he believed with very few breaks. He wasn't a nice person. He drove people away, shut them out and was cruel. This was a fact; it was him.]
And I have you.
[She was all he needed in the end. He wasn't sure how or why that had happened, but it was the truth.]
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Richard, whatever else you do with your Institute, I think you do try and help prove to people that what they're frightened of isn't real. Do I think you go about it the wrong way sometimes and definitely could benefit from having someone like me with you to help break the news more gently? Yes. But I don't think you do it to just be a complete jerk and take people's blankets away whatever other people think.
I think that you're hoping by giving them reason as a blanket, then they won't need the other ones.
[Of course Alex wasn't going to get into the fact that she still expected that everything was real despite how hard he always tried to pretend it wasn't. Because that wasn't the argument she was making here. Here, she was arguing that he wanted to help people.]
But yes, you'll always have me.
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You're the only one who would think so.
[His hand moved to her hair, brushing stray strands away from her face. Alex was, unique in the way she thought about him. Somehow always finding the best in him even when he was more than willing to show the worst. She was always willing to chase him when he ran, and always willing to push him when he dug his heels in.]
And maybe Ruby.
[The smirk that played against his lips at that was a bit too amused.]
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But thankfully those times were over, and she knew that he had asked her if she was sleeping the last time she'd seen him before here and Alex had told the truth then; it wasn't like before. Of course that was before she spent six months alone and worrying about everything here, and the her nightmares had plunged forward into full on nightmare fuel once again.
Sleep wasn't something that she'd been fighting with anywhere near as badly since he'd shown up (until he decided to play Sleeping Beauty and spend five days in a coma anyway) so at least there was that. So Alex just beamed up at him.]
Ruby is a good judge of character, even though I'm still not convinced she doesn't hate me.