riverviewlogs | [ closed/open ] Highway to the danger zone

[ It takes Poe about two minutes to calm Jyn down and instruct BB-8 to watch her and another thirty seconds for him to count kids and realize Cassian is gone.

Fricking. Frickity. Frick. He would love to be able to swear right now.

At least his and Finn's apartment isn't that big. It doesn't take long to find Cassian rooting through his stuff, clearly looking for something. ]

Just browsing, or can I help you find something specific?

[he freezes for a second when he hears poe come in, but he's worried he's going to be stopped again from finding a weapon, so cassian immediate starts digging around again. no time to waste!]

Browsing. [for something specific.] You probably aren't going to help me, so you can leave.

[IT'S WORTH A SHOT?? none of the adults here like the idea of him with a gun, poe is no different.]

No.

[ He goes over and hauls Cassian up by the waist, or at least attempts to, fully aware that he could get himself stabbed or something. This child. ]

You know between you, Rey, and Finn, I'm really glad I left my gun at the barracks. I'd rather not die by child.

[if he wasn't too busy digging as fast as he can in those final free moments, cassian might have been better prepared for poe scooping him up. as it stands, his tiny body immediately starts thrashing and wriggling. he is going to make this as difficult as possible!!!!]

[poe does not get stabbed. but probably only because cassian can't reach the butterknife in his pocket.]

I know how to use it! I'm not going to just carry it around without the safety on! I have no reason to shoot you! [LOGIC, POE.]

[ Aasjsdhfwefsadjh why.

Poe shifts his grip on Cassian, trying to hang on with both arms now from sheer stubbornness more than a desire to wrestle with this tiny monster. ]

What about the others, huh? You think all of them know what to do with a gun or a blaster, or what not to do with it?

[he will get out of this grip if it's the last thing he does. time to start flailing his arms.]

Why do you think I would give them mine? [sure, he definitely plotted with that boy to get some guns because cassian sees no issues with kids with guns, but he's been trying so hard to get one for himself! he's not gonna hand it over!!!!] A blaster can be life or death, I'm not sharing!

If they don't know, we can teach them. [DUH.]

[ Poe makes a noise that sounds like GACK as Cassian smacks him in the face. He heaves the boy through the air and tosses him gently onto the bed. ]

I know it can be life or death, trust me, I get that, but it's not yours, it's mine, and I'm not sharing either.

[he soars through the air and lands on the mattress with a little bounce, but instead of scrambling, he just stays there. sits. stares. it's time to come up with another plan.]

I would not try to steal them if someone would just let me have one. [he pauses and considers poe. older, definitely a soldier too. there are people in his cell like poe, albeit not this determined to keep him from a weapon.]

[maybe he can try for vulnerability?] I don't feel safe without having one.

[ Because Poe is a sap, the vulnerability clearly makes a dent in his defenses. He rubs his face. ]

Look, Cassian, that's not how things work here. The adults do the fighting. Not kids.

[he hones in on that crack. he may not know how to exploit it to the full potential, but he knows it's a chance!]

I don't believe you. I have not been to a planet where that happens. [probably just because of the nature of a rebel cell, moving around amid clone war orphans.] There has not been any fighting here, but it doesn't mean it won't come.

You don't have to believe me for it to be true.

[ NONE OF THESE SMALL CHILDREN TRUST HIM. It would be a blow to his ego if he didn't kinda get it. Was he this impossible as a child? He's pretty sure he wasn't.

(He casually forgets setting the Force tree in the back yard on fire that one time.)

It helps, too, that he's too heartbroken by these kids when he has the chance to feel anything. His ego doesn't have room to be bruised. ]

You might be right. You might not be. Either way, you're not getting a weapon, not from me.

I believe what I see. [and what he sees are kids making bombs, kids shooting stormtroopers, kids brawling to learn how to use even their hands for weapons.]

[he crosses his arms. poe is not going to give in on this. and he probably didn't bring any guns home if he was planning on corralling all these other kids here. but he left it at the barracks.]

[so that's clearly where cassian needs to go next.] Would you give me one if there were stormtroopers here?

[ Silence for a moment, while he thinks of Finn in the other room. A stormtrooper. A kid shaped to be a tool for monsters. ]

No. [ Poe looks away from Cassian, just for a moment, just long enough to drag his hand through his hair and make his curls stick up even more. ] Kids shouldn't be the ones fighting a war.

[he expected the no, but he just needs to keep poe thinking he's still on the same 'get a gun from poe' track and not 'get to the barracks because there are bound to be more than just poe's guns there' track.]

You should tell that to the war. I am sure they will take it into consideration.

[ For a second there's a flicker of quiet rage in his face, though it's not directed at Cassian. ]

Or the people who teach kids to use weapons.

[ And then he thinks of John's girl, what's her name, Chyler. Learning to use a handgun at six.

And he gives. ]

All right, look. Make a deal with me. No gun tonight. If-- [ He almost says if you're still like this in the morning. ] If nothing's changed tomorrow, if you haven't changed your mind, we'll find you some kind of weapon. All right? As long as you promise not to shoot Jyn even if she punches you.

I would be dead if no one taught me. [he says it so matter-of-factly. too many close calls with clonetroopers, stormtroopers, whatever they call themselves. he doesn't care, he hates them all.]

[he squints, trying to figure out how serious poe is being about this. it seems fake, because how can he trust an offer like that after the big fuss poe had over it?]

I am not going to change my mind. [he frowns.] I would not shoot her. I told you, I don't want to shoot anyone here. She is a brat, but she's not trying to kill me. That's an easy promise.

What kind of weapon? [he needs to make poe think he's going along with it.]

Yeah. [ Poe scrubs a hand through his hair. ] Yeah, I guess you would.

[ The thought makes him sick. It makes him miss home even more, it makes him want to find the First Order pry every numbered kid they have out of their grip.

He gives Cassian a sharp look. ]

Something the others can't hurt themselves on easily.

[he shrugs it off, trying to be Cool and Blase about it. he picked up a blaster one day and an older kid told him he was holding it wrong. everything else went from there, and cassian is still alive so it can't be that bad!]

That's kind of vague. A projectile or something I keep in closer? [now he's just curious as to what kind of weapon poe would think was a good idea for him to have.]

[ He rubs his forehead again, wishing doing that would stave off the headache rapidly developing behind his eyes. ]

You're too smart. Has anyone ever told you that?

[ No Cassian that isn't an answer to your question is it. ]

Yes. [clever, more like.]

[he lets a pause hang in the air for a stretch of about three, four seconds.]

You did not answer me.

[ THIS CHILD. Now Poe see where Cassian gets it. The deadpan was there from the start. Sweet Crèche's Savior. ]

No, I didn't. Look, probably something you'd keep closer. Something you can keep out of the other kids' hands. Okay? I'm probably going to have to give Finn a weapon if I give you a weapon and give Rey a weapon if I give him one--god, then Jyn will want one.

[ SCRUBBING HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR THIS IS TERRIBLE. ]

Jyn seems more concerned about her stupid toys than a weapon. I already told you I would not share it with them.

[he hums, like he's considering.] A knife?

[it'd be better than the butterknife he already has in his pocket. then he'll have two knives and whatever guns he gets from the barracks.]

I'm afraid she'll see a weapon as a toy. I know you won't share. That's not the problem.

[ He shouldn't be able to speak this frankly about armaments with a smol. This is wrong and confusing and still terrible. ]

Fine, a knife. And a sheath with a strap you can hold it in place with. I don't want someone yanking it out accidentally.

[ SPOILERS CHILD HE'S NOT GONNA GIVE YOU A KNIFE. ]

The problem is you don't want to give a child a weapon, but I have already told you several times I know how to use one. You don't have to like it but it doesn't make that fact any less true no matter how much you keep pretending otherwise.

[he is getting! so bored! but like a frustrated bored.]

Are you going to stick to your deal?

[ He glares at the tiny Cassian. ]

Look, you can use as much logic as you want, that still doesn't mean I'm gonna feel better about it.

[ Poe Dameron, in a nutshell. ]

I'll stick to my deal. All right? [ A pause. ] I'm trusting you.

[ closed/open ] Highway to the danger zone

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