[closed] of all the comrades that e'er I've had

[panacean]

who: Carson Beckett, Rodney McKay, and John Sheppard
what: Just Dudes Being Bros after one of them came back from the dead via not dying yet.
when: Early March
where: Community housing
warnings: None, will edit as needed.



[ When he gets John back to his and Rodney's quarters, the first thing Carson does is settle John on his bed and order him not to move.

Until, of course, he discovers (rediscovers) what Rodney and John classify as food between the two of them. Which seems to be beer and eggo waffles. Perfect.

It takes some doing to convince John to let him go to the corner store, as though the man is afraid Carson will walk out the door and disappear--

It's what you did, he thinks. The second he thinks it, Carson resigns himself to following whatever rules John comes up with until the dust settles between them.

The trip to the store is quick. They have what he needs, or everything close enough to what he needs that he can fudge things more or less for the rest. Shepherd's pie filling is fairly forgiving, as fillings go.

That's what he'll be working on when Rodney comes home, the whole apartment smelling like spices and cooking meat. When he hears the door opening, Carson doesn't immediately register what the sound is. ]

John, would you bloody stay put. I don't need a blind man's help with a knife!

Comments

[panacean]

[ He sets the stew down in front of John, hard. ]

No. You listen to me or you'll find yourself facing a recommendation for temporary leave.

[deploy]

What? You can't do that.

[John's head jerks up to look at him like he's been slapped.

Carson can. He knows he can. Has done as much before]

I'll eat your damn stew, okay? I'll eat it.

[panacean]

Oh can't I, boyo.

[ At least he seems to have made his point. He watches for a few seconds, just to make sure John is actually eating, before he slowly sits down. His demeanor softens. ]

It's not about a bowl of stew, Colonel Sheppard, and you know that.

[deploy]

I'm not a colonel anymore.

[Said more glumly than he'd like, as he prods the stew with the tip of his spoon and takes a bite. It's good. Full of everything he's been avoiding, like vitamins and nutrients. Carson's a good cook, better than him or Rodney, John's appetite just isn't there.

A few bites does help the turbulence of his stomach, full of booze and not much else.]

Just let me get it out of my system. I'll be fine. I'm always fine.

[panacean]

You are. It was never just a title.

[ He watches John eat, waits in silence until he's sure John won't stop at the first opportunity. ]

Aye, you're fine, just like Rodney is fine, just like all of Atlantis is fine.

[ He clasps his hands lightly on the tabletop, weighing his words. ]

I'm no fool and you're no liar, so while there's no one else around to hear, let's be honest.

[deploy]

What do you want me to say, Carson?

[John jabs his spoon violently into the stew, brutalizing a chunk of innocent carrot.

Keeping his own head up feels like too much effort. He braces his jaw in one hand, fixing Carson with a look.]

I had a thing with someone. It's over. This is me getting over it.

[panacean]

You're punishing yourself, John.

[ Carson's seen it before. In the colonel, sure, but in others too. People pushing themselves too hard in training and coming to him injured. Doing what John is doing until they end up with something that can't be cured. People skipping the pretty trappings and engaging in simple self-harm.

Carson rubs his eyes. ]

Tell me you're not.

[deploy]

So what if I am? I'm not going to take my issues out on other people. Better me than someone else. It's my problem. Not yours, or Rodney's, or my team's.

[He sits back in his chair, arms folded over his chest.]

I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm a grown man. I can take care of myself.