riverviewlogs | i'm bigger than my body [open & closed]

Entry tags:

i'm bigger than my body [open & closed]

who: John Proudtar + Shigeru Miyata, Minsu Oh, Cisco Ramon, and anyone
what: Catch-all
when: throughout march
where: various places, mainly the perimeter guard training grounds
warnings: none that I can think of! Will update if necessary

i. meditate (open to all)

[ Since putting his training offers out on the Quarantine network, John has been putting up dates and times and locations for 'classes' - he hates calling them as such, but if the shoe fits.

There's nothing special about the spot he's chosen - it's by the river, shadowed by some trees, pleasant and quiet. John's sitting straight on the ground, cross-legged, as he waits for any 'student' who might be interested in learning about meditation. He's prepared to fight stereotypes, remembering Lorna's reaction the first time she saw him practicing, how surprised she'd been, how long she'd teased him for it after.

John waits, until a few people are seated in front of him, before he says anything. ]

Before we start, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. The goal here is to get some tools for you to center yourself if you ever feel like control, or your sense of self is slipping. Meditation is what we make it out to be - contrary to popular belief, it isn't about sitting on a rock for days at a time, humming to yourself, although you're welcome to do that, if it works for you.

[ John smiles. This should be fun. ]

We're going to start much smaller, here.

ii. combat (open to all)

[ Come one, come all, whoever is interested in trying to test themselves against that mutant who can't get hurt. He'll take your punches and will try to give pointers wherever he can - he is, after all, an ex-Marine himself, and has seen combat situation more than once.

Depending on who's here to train and who's interested in helping, there are several stations set up in the Perimeter Guards training grounds - one, large and further away than the rest, for those who want to try out their powers but might struggle with control, or simply have a huge range. One for hand-to-hand combat, with dummies and training equipment strewn around. One for swordfighting - the weapons are blunt. John's walking around between the different stations, helping out wherever he can, and learning, himself - he's never held a sword before, after all.

Come and train, fight, help out, or whatever else you want to do! ]

iii. wildcard

[ Closed starters in comments! Find me at ellievolia if you want a specific starter, or just hmu with anything, I'm happy with basically anything. ]

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Ah! [ John can't help the fond, amused noise that escapes him at Minsu's reaction. It seems that food is very important to him, in a way it's never been to John. And it's just - sort of cute. John can't help but think he would not do so well living on rations and boxed mac and cheese, the way they have at the Underground, for years. ]

A rainbow danish?

[ His question is answered immediately, when Minsu builds up a towers of danishes on a plate, and hands it to John, who takes it with a surprised blink. ]

I honestly don't think I can eat all of these in one go, you know.

[ Lies. He can. He might feel weird afterwards, but he used to eat a lot more than he does, these days. ]

[ John nods. ]

Okay. You're going to have to walk me through it. What's your gate? You talked about possession, right? Can you give me a step-by-step of how your powers manifest?

One, we're outside, so incense would be a waste. Two, I wear my hair in a bun all the time. And three? Never on the first session.

[ He's smiling as he answers the questions, taking them for the tease that they are, and responding in kind. He gives her a critical look afterwards, still smiling, before resuming the actual talk of meditation. ]

Okay, so the main thing is - don't worry about your thoughts. Even if they're about my shirt - [ wink ] - the point of meditation is not to not think. It's to allow your thoughts to come, and pass. Not stay stuck on them. So whatever you're thinking through these exercises, let it happen, but also allow these thoughts to pass through. It might come back, but it doesn't matter. Just focus on your breathing.

[ A good session, if John can say so himself. He likes doing these, teaching something that's so helpful to him, in the hope it gets other people to feel better, more in control and in sync with themselves. It's been a lifesaver, for him.

When Sam approaches, John stands, wiping dirt off of his jeans before offering Sam a hand, nodding. ]

Yeah, of course! The therapist, right? Nice to meet you, I'm John. [ He smiles. ] Yeah? I thought it'd be a part of training that people wouldn't think about, but it's useful, in my opinion.

[ Shigeru nods mutely as he looks away briefly. His free hand might flex and clench a little as he closes his eyes. ]

It's probably easier to really show you then to explain it. [ And so he'll activate his gate there and then. Shigeru's eyes will change with black sclera and purple irises. There's also strange symbols poking etched into his skin along his neck. ]

When I activate my powers something called a gate appears behind us. [ He points to the giant floating sigil looming up behind him with its now tainted look. The purple iridescent sigil is cut through with rivers of pitch black miasma. ] Our gate is...a physical manifestation of our mental state. The more it degrades the easier it becomes for us to get possessed by a-a dark god called Malneminous. Or-or we turn into monsters or it collapses and destroys everything around it.

[ He'll look away again, not exactly sure how much John is going to take all of that, but Shigeru's expression is really indicative of how real it is. He shuts off his powers before he continues. ]

Malneminous is the one that gave us these powers, his curse is the reason why my kind even exist in the first place.

[ It's a relief, that John doesn't say anything, doesn't stop him to ask a bunch of questions about that 'us'. Cisco thinks for a moment that maybe he's lucky, maybe John didn't notice... or perhaps he's just being polite for the time being. Either way, Cisco's grateful to speak about metahumans in general, and skip over himself for now. ]

There was an accident. I mean- [ He interrupts himself before he even really gets started, glad that he's pouring the coffee and has an excuse not to look at John for a few moments as he corrects: ] -it wasn't really an accident, but we didn't find that out until later. Anyway, there was an explosion, in the particle accelerator, at the lab where I was working. Ripped open an interdimensional rift right in the middle of the city, and a bunch of dark matter and exotic energies started pouring out. Everybody in Central City got hit. Some people... just died, but for about 1% of the population, it changed their DNA, and gave them abilities.

[ Looking back, Cisco can't believe he'd spent all that time thinking he must have been unaffected - when he'd been just feet away, just on the other side of a door, when the explosion happened. Right at the heart of it. Of course, he'd been changed. He'd never had a chance.

He listens, as John relates how long powers had been a part of his own world; he hands over the cup of coffee, quiet for a moment as he thinks about how different this guy's relationship with his powers must be. ]

So, um, mutants are born with their powers? Are they passed down genetically? Can mutants use them right away, or do they emerge during puberty, or get triggered in times of stress, or... how's it work?

[ There's a tentativeness, to the way Cisco asks, but... John had offered some information already, and he is careful to frame it so he's asking in general, not about John in particular. He is more curious about John, of course, but he doesn't want to dive right in with invasive questions from the get go. ]

[ kaldur is still in the process of settling in, but having accepted work with the perimeter guard helps with the process in that it gives his days structure, in that it gives him something to do. it isn't the team he knows — but perhaps after everything he has done to gain his father's trust, to gain access to the light in order to learn of their plans and report back to nightwing, perhaps a new team that has not seen him (pretend to) kill one of their own is not such a bad idea.

so he is on the training grounds, first training alone but eventually finding him face to face with john, both of them with swords in their hands.

kaldur has the advantage here, perhaps: his waterbearers are close enough to swords that this is not something new to him. still, he circles john slowly at first, his movements measured and his gaze watchful. ]

So this gate is like... an aura, of sorts.

[ All through Shigeru's explanation and demonstration, John stayed silent, just looking, taking it all in. This kind of physical manifestation is rare with Mutants, and possession isn't really a thing he's witnessed, either - telepathy can go very, very far, but still isn't quite the same.

He waits for Shigeru to come back to himself before he speaks. ]

Is there a way to prevent your gate's degradation? Or to... fix it?

Wow.

[ For a moment, that's all he can say. That, at least, explains it, in a way that makes sense. It's a lot to take in, for someone that's always been used to Mutants being around, in some way. He can't even begin to imagine how it must have been like, to suddenly have a wave of powered people everywhere.

He has to wonder if the fear is as pervasive as it is in John's reality. ]

You were working, when it happened? Is that how you got your powers?

[ The question is completely innocent - but Cisco had used the word 'us', so John had no reason to think he wasn't affected, too. At Cisco's questions, he nods. ]

Yeah, we're born with our powers, but they usually don't start manifesting until puberty. We've recently discovered that it can be hereditary, but it's not always. My parents don't have powers, but both my brother and I are Mutants. The way they trigger depend, but it's usually emotion, yeah. Puberty is kind of the time for these things, isn't it? Powers are usually triggered by negative emotions, like stress, anger, fear, and that's actually what I work on the most, when I'm training with people; I try to teach them to tap into their positive ones, as it's a much more stable way to channel abilities.

[ He pauses. ]

But while powers tend to trigger during puberty, some of us also have physical traits that are here from birth. I'm lucky, because I can pass for human, but a lot of us can't.

[ Kaldur would definitely have the advantage - John's style of fighting usually only involves his fists, even if he is very handy with a gun, due to his training. He doesn't like them - he's seen enough while in Afghanistan not to want to use a gun ever again in his life, but he's still more comfortable with them than he is with a sword.

Still, he rolls his wrist, testing the balance of the blade and how it moves in his hand, smiling a little crookedly as Kaldur circles him, looking very watchful and serious. ]

You know this is not actually a duel to the death, right?

[those aren't conditions that minsu would do well under, no. he would probably leave, not because of the hunger, but because of the fear of how it might break him. what he might do as a result.

he obviously hadn't considered the possibility that john might not be able to finish his new creation. fortunately, there's a solution right at hand - minsu reaches under the counter for a styrofoam container.]

You can take the rest home with you. I'll get your coffee!

[nothing too sweet, john has plenty of that on the plate in front of him. minsu puts the lid on it, feeling the sides to make sure that it's warm but not too hot.]

Refills are free, if you'd like to hang around.

[minsu glances up, looking like he wants to ask him to do exactly that.]

[ Ah. So he had heard. Well. No use wishing he could put the cat back in the bag. It takes Cisco a moment to respond, but then he swallows, and nods. ]

Yeah. I... helped the design the particle accelerator, and build it, so I was down there trying to - trying to stop it.

[ He still wonders if Eobard had factored that into his plans - what would have happened if Cisco and Ronnie hadn't been able to contain the explosion as well as they had. There would have been so many more fatalities... but Eobard probably knew they would do it. He'd been able to plan so meticulously, control the whole thing.

But this was no time to be thinking about all that. ]

I... actually was one of the ones who didn't realize right away. Every meta got changed that night, but for some of us it... took a little while to see any effects. I've only had my powers for a little over a year, now. My boyfriend, Eddie, his didn't show up until a few months ago.

[ He doesn't add that, in his case, his powers had first emerged because they were triggered by fear. Doesn't mention that they still get out of control, for him, when he's afraid. He likes John already, thinks that he seems like a good guy. But that was the sort of knowledge that Cisco knows can be used against him. He might have slipped up about admitting he was a meta, but he's not going to give away details of how to manipulate his powers on accident. ]

So is that really common, for mutants? Having powers triggered by negative emotions? 'Cause most metahumans aren't like that. Sure, sometimes they'll be a little more powerful if they've got adrenaline in their system, but only the same way humans are faster or stronger in times of stress. Most metas, their powers are sort of just their powers.

[ He wonders, then, but isn't sure how to ask, if John had to train himself, first, before he was in a position to help others. Had his powers, at one point, been tied to anger, or sadness, or fear? Cisco looks down into his coffee, wondering how much he could ask without going too far... ]

And none of us have any sort of - visible signs, I guess you'd call 'em. We all pass. If we want to. If we're careful.

[ Well, John came to the coffee shop to meet Minsu, more than to be fed for free, so he's definitely hanging around. The shop isn't busy, either, so he doesn't feel like he's hogging all of Minsu's attention as he puts plate and coffee down at a table at the end of the counter. ]

When I was in high school, I used to play football - [ Before his powers manifested, that is, and he couldn't do it anymore, the risk of running someone over and killing them way too high. ] - and our coach would make us eat 5,000 calories a day, mainly protein. But there's a balance to it, you know? It's supposed to be 50 calories per kilogram.

[ It's the kind of information someone like John researches. ]

Oh, I met your boyfriend. Well, on Friendr, really. We chatted about boxing.

[ Now, Eddie talking about power dampeners, and Cisco talking about power-related tech, well... it made sense. ]

You mind me asking what you can do?

[ John can't help himself. It's one of these things - he is passionate about Mutants, and their rights, and protecting those he considers his own. It makes him interested, about powers, their range, the differences between one world to the other since he got here. He's hungry for the knowledge. ]

I mean, some might trigger their powers with a positive emotion, too. And for some people, they manifest early, while for others, they manifest late. But it usually has to be started, by something. Like, this kid that was part of our Mutant network system, his powers were triggered because he was being bullied, and his sister, her powers first appeared when she saved both herself and her mom from a car accident.

[ He pauses, thinking about how to explain it. ]

It's a response, often. But some just. They're born, looking a certain way, so they can only wait for their powers to start manifesting. Like, my friend, the girl I mentioned the other day - [ You know, the girl he likes - ] - she has these beautiful green eyes, but they don't look normal.

[ The way he says the word tells a lot about how much he disagrees with it. ]

And because of that, Mutants like her tend to not be able to find jobs, or get proper housing, and they face prejudice, and hate, every time they step out in the streets.

Edited 2018-03-10 12:50 (UTC)

[ She gave a salute in response to the wink. Hey, if the man was giving her permission to think about his shirt then she was going to allow that thought to come and go as directed. It wasn't like she'd touch.

It was the river she was more concerned about. It wasn't quite like the lake in Idris, but it was still pulling her mind back to the moment she had been taken from. To her father. To her brother. To Jace's body.

And at the mention of breathing she pushed out a breath through her nose and gave a nod. ]

See, told you you'd be good at this. Breathe in, breathe out, rinse and repeat? What if... Well, what if the environment isn't exactly conducive to letting the thoughts pass?

[That sounds like a lot. But she supposes it makes sense. She really is lucky with her powers, huh? She can more easily stand back and not have to do so much of this up close stuff. W h o o p s.

She adjusts her fist as suggested. That ... that looks better, yes.]

Sure. I clearly need some fine-tuning here. [Said with a nod and half smile.]

[minsu does a check, glances around to make sure that no one else needs to be waited on or needs a refill. and then he folds his arms against the counter to listen.]

Football. Was it fun?

[or high school, for that matter. or anything else that comes with living a human life, though it sounds like john's has been far from ordinary.]

Ah, I wish I'd known that before. I asked someone once how many calories a human was supposed to eat every day. [minsu does some quick math with the information that he gives him, then makes a face. he knew it. sage definitely wasn't eating enough.] 5,000 calories though, that's a lot of steak and eggs.

[protein is one of the few things that minsu does understand.]

I should've played football.

S-Something like that, yes. It varies from person to person and it's basically a physical manifestation of our-our mental state.

[ He'll rub at his hands a little before he stops the gesture entirely upon realizing what he's doing. ]

There were therapies back home...but they only helped so much when a gate was too far gone. Suppressing our powers with a drug was another way, the drug is like a sedative that calms us down. But I don't think there's any real way of-of fixing it.

[Sam takes the hand and shakes it with a firm grip.] Yeah, I thought I'd take a look at what you were doing, think about maybe referring a few of my clients who could benefit from it. I'm into mindfulness as a treatment for PTSD, keeping yourself grounded and focused on what's around you. So meditation obviously goes hand in hand with that kind of thing.

[ John gives Clary a look, considering. ]

You should always be somewhere where you feel comfortable. Honestly, you can meditate anywhere you want - I used to do it on transports, when I was in Afghanistan, so it really is up to you.

[ His voice is gentle when he starts again. ]

So if you don't feel comfortable, or safe here, we can go somewhere else.

[ He smiles softly, shrugging. ]

That's why you're here, right?

[ He doesn't know what her powers are, but he can imagine it doesn't involve any punching. Gently, he repositions her wrist, placing two fingers under her elbow afterwards. ]

You also want to keep your elbow mobile, don't lock up. And bend your knees. Be ready to move, always. The more you tense, the easier it'll be for your opponent to respond.

[ His eyes lift to Wanda's. ]

What can you do? I'm thinking this isn't your usual fare.

[ John shrugs, taking a bite of the cheese danish, crumbs sticking to his lips. It's delicious, and he's going to have to package some of all of these for Clarice to try out. ]

Yeah, it was. I had to stop when my powers started showing up. Can't really play a contact sport when you can break people with a handshake.

[ John laughs, nodding. ]

It was, for sure. But we ran through them super fast, with training and work outs. Technically, I burn through calories even faster than I used to now, so I could eat a lot more, I just... forget.

[ He gives Minsu a look, amused. ]

You might be a bit small for football. Although you could be an excellent kicker.

[ John nods, leaning forward, elbows on his knees as he thinks about it. There's only so much one can do, sometimes, but he'll be damned if he's not going to try and give Shigeru all the tools he's been using himself for years. ]

Well, something I've been using to keep control of myself, and keep my mental state stable is meditation. I know it doesn't sound like much, hippie mumbo jumbo type thing, but it can really, really help to gain more control over yourself. And it might help with the decay of your gate.

[ John turns back to look at Shigeru. ]

It can't hurt, anyway, right?

Is there a lot of people suffering from PTSD around?

[ At least, John doesn't have that issue. Sure, he gets nightmares, and he gets jumpy sometimes, although rarely. It's just one of these things. ]

Actually, nevermind, that's - none of my business. I agree, though, mindfulness has kept me in check for a long time. Used to meditate while on transports, back in Afghanistan.

[ He smiles. ]

So if I can help anyone, count me in, 100%.

I'll remind you.

[his words have the weight of someone who's accepting a very important job and taking it very seriously. daily 'have u eaten do u need a rainbow danish' texts, go.

minsu smiles when john tells him that he's small for the sport. it's true, he's not that much sturdier than any guy his size. but he's quick, and he has energy to spare, and he thinks he might like to give football a try someday.

but there's something else that he said, before that. minsu has a question about it, and sometimes people answer his questions easily, and sometimes they look appalled and tell him that it's none of his business. minsu hasn't yet learned the difference between the two kinds. he doesn't know which one this falls under, but...]

Since you're so strong, what about when you like someone? Do you worry about hurting them?

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i'm bigger than my body [open & closed]

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ii. combat

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